Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 1024: The gap between reality and delusion

I have a bad feeling. There is a piece of information that does not match my past memories. The surrounding environment is more real than what I have experienced in the past. It makes it difficult for me to determine whether this is an illusion or not-although it is rationally speaking, it is here. It should be the illusion of repeater construction, but the strong sense of reality is difficult to be convinced by reason. For a sober person, what is it to rely on to judge the true or false of his situation? Is it memory? Feel? Or is it a change that goes against the continuity of the last second?

When a voice told me that I did stay in the toilet and smoked the last moment, and things like repeaters were just illusions during the whole daze. Then, how can I be sure, that illusion is Is it true, and what is happening at this moment is fantasy?

"The delusional experience..." I subconsciously recalled Zuo Jiang's ability. Although I had not tried the effect of that ability, the situation I encountered so far was very similar to the effect of the ability as the name suggests. So, which one is my delusion, the toilet on the campus or the toilet in the building last moment?

The extremely strong sense of reality made me unable to determine whether my current situation was an attack by a repeater. If the thinking is radiated from this, the mysterious expert in the 51st District who seems to have lost his soul may be in my current situation.

Along with the emergence of memories, the memories of a big adventure are becoming less real, probably because it goes against common sense, and compared to the life represented by the old toilets on this campus, it is full of It's a dreamy color. I was a long, long time ago...no. Because the memory is vivid, so. It didn't seem to be that long either. About a year ago, I stayed in this school as an ordinary top student.

Before hearing the strange talk about the toilet, everything in life here was normal and simple. There is no abnormality, no mystery, no gangsters and feuds. There are no dramatic provocations and counterattacks, no demons and no monsters. My body is also an ordinary high school student, and I have not suffered from any malignant diseases. Naturally, "Jiang" does not exist.

I can't feel the existence of "Jiang", nor can I call out "quark", and I don't have the physical strength that I exercised. There is no extraordinary talent or extraordinary mysterious power. The chain decision disappeared, and the speed-sweeping super power no longer exists. In my memory, any ability and other things that proved myself to be a mysterious expert have disappeared. The only thing left is knowledge and experience, but. This kind of knowledge and experience, compared to the memory of ordinary life that comes to mind at this moment, is incredibly absurd.

It's like--

I had a relatively realistic dream, and after waking up, there was a pile of residue left behind.

Extremely contradictory feeling. Makes me a little anxious.

I opened the compartment doors one by one, and finally confirmed. At this time, I was the only person in this old toilet. After a while, a boy’s voice came from outside the door. A group of students were approaching here. They instinctively prompted me to return to the cubicle and close the door. A voice told me that they also came here to smoke, but the tacit understanding here is " Try not to meet people who come from different places."

So, I hide. This instinct is as strong as the fighting instinct. I don't need to think at all. When the sound enters the toilet, they each push the door. If someone is in the cubicle, it will naturally be locked, and the latecomer will find the next one. If the person is full, they can only complain about bad luck and leave quickly. But in fact, During the time I studied in this school, this old toilet was never full.

So, these new boys quickly occupied their respective sites, and I opened the door and went out after hearing the sound of their door lock. I don't know why, I subconsciously stepped lightly, and even stopped in front of the cubicle where a boy was. I hesitated a little, and I didn't know what I was hesitating. Although the people who come here to smoke abide by the principle of non-interference with others, it is not always true that no one knows who I am. Because of this friendship, it is natural to have an advantage in dealing with problems related to these students. of. However, this does not mean that I can break the rules here at will. When I stopped, the boy behind the door stopped talking. He seemed a little nervous, so I left here quickly.

I think all this is extremely weird, extremely abnormal, if this is an illusion, then how to see through this illusion and leave this illusion? Especially when everything is full of "realism", even this kind of reality and the memory in my mind make me have to wonder, which toilet was the one I walked into the last moment?

Is the toilet full of strange talk?

Is the toilet trapped by the repeater?

Or maybe, just a plain toilet?

First, I told myself, as I told myself when I first went to the so-called "reality"-the most important thing is to know what I am doing and what I am going to do. I must find some evidence to prove whether I am in an illusion of consciousness. Regardless of the strong sense of reality in my current environment, the ideological world is less rigorous and logical than the material world. If this is a "cage" constructed by the repeater with my consciousness as the core in order to imprison my consciousness, then once I can't find the flaws in it, the cognition will be imperceptibly imperceptible, and its imprisonment will be even more impeded. Strong, and considering the ability of the repeater, this possibility is rather high, which is an extremely bad situation.

The sense of reality here is too strong, with the involuntary question and answer in my mind, it erodes my thinking almost every moment. The source of this voice is also very logical. It makes me feel that this is actually a self-protection mechanism. In order to prevent oneself from being confused by reality and delusion, it is something everyone must have.

I know very well that I have subconsciously begun to wonder whether everything in the doomsday illusion and the hospital is just my own delusion.

Today, I can't order anything other than observation. The habit of being an ordinary student is resurrecting in my body, and the habit of being a soldier is fading because of ability. Also began to become dull. The reason why I didn't really think that I was an ordinary student, at this moment. It only lies in self-observation and analysis-this is a set of self-cognition methods cultivated based on the experience of apocalyptic illusions. No matter when, where, and in any situation, self-recognition is for me to survive. One of the core.

Yes, first of all, I have to survive.

I walked back to the classroom along the memory of my school days, and found no abnormalities along the way. The fresh and bright student atmosphere fills the visible place. Neat school uniforms, active students, noisy in the hallway, and only three or two people chatting in the classroom. As soon as I entered my classroom, that strong sense of life came to my heart again, as if I didn't come back here after many years, but ten minutes ago. Sitting here, this is a kind of daily brand, unknowingly, it has already penetrated the taste of the body.

Then I came back to my senses, and it was time for school. The classmates will disperse one after another in the next twenty minutes, leaving the health duty team and students who are accustomed to finishing the homework of the day at school. I have nothing to do, and the student union has no work to explain. At this time, I was supposed to go home. Just after going to the old toilet to smoke, he will leave school. Instead of going back to the classroom.

"Forgot to bring something?" asked the same table one foot away, as if asking "have you eaten" naturally. However, this makes me feel a little unnatural. However, I can't find any reason to prove that he is abnormal, not me. Under this ordinary and daily greeting, I feel that I am the one that is wrong.

I didn't answer for a while, and he ignored it, just looked at me in a blink of an eye. I seemed to wake up all of a sudden and said, "Ah, yes, something..." I looked through my desk and schoolbag aimlessly. Today's schoolwork is vivid, and the lessons within a week will be explained by the teacher and the student. The mission was also very detailed in his mind, and it came up naturally without much searching.

Too realistic, too real, too ordinary and ordinary. When it's normal, I can't help but feel that the doomsday illusion is a delusion, and it is a superfluous thing to think about in my spare time.

It’s just that it’s not an easy task for me now to accept this ordinary day-to-day life. I kind of feel that this is the conflict between reality and fantasy, simplicity and wonderfulness. I shook my head vigorously, so the tablemate looked at me strangely and asked: "Is not feeling well?"

"Ah, fortunately, it's just a little sleepy." I subconsciously replied.

"That's really rare." The tablemate said casually, then buried his head and continued to do the problem.

"That's right." I remembered that the strange talk about the toilet was first learned from his mouth, "Remember the strange talk about the old school toilet?"

"What's the strange story?" He was a little surprised, his expression didn't seem to be fake, I believed my observation, he really didn't know. However, he should have known, no, he should and must know! I waited for the thoughts that boiled up at this moment, letting down my voice and said, "It's the strange story of the old toilet. I remember you told me that people have disappeared in that place several times, and I haven't been able to find it so far."

"Ah, did I say it?" The tablemate said in astonishment: "I didn't say, where did you hear it? There is a missing person in that place, and it will definitely spread to the whole school." When he said this, he looked around, as if saying something secret, and said to me: "You belong to the student union, don't you know? There is a place where students gather to smoke, and the information is well informed. The teacher actually knows that place too. I heard that the school plans to tear down there. Anyway, there are new toilets."

It is also a rumor about the old toilet, but it is completely different from what I remember, but after thinking about it, I feel that what the same table said at this time is more logical and reasonable-this It is based on the logic and order on the premise that there is no abnormality and mystery in this world.

Because of the construction of the new toilet, the old toilet was abandoned, and it has become a place where the poor students gather to smoke. It is impossible for the school to be ignorant of this situation, so it finally decided to demolish the old toilet. This is a natural development. I rubbed my temples, only to hear my deskmates say: "Hey, it's okay, your face is ugly, if it's really uncomfortable, do you want me to take you home?"

"It's okay." I grinned reluctantly, got up and said, "I'll go back first."

"Does self-study come in late? How about I ask for a leave for you?" the same table asked again.

"No, I just go back and lie down." I said. As he stepped out of the classroom, he greeted a few classmates who passed by.

"Gao Chuan. The squad leader said he would adjust his position at night." They said.

"The Eight Views said?" I was stunned, and asked back. Yes, Eight Views, an existence that should have been very important to me.

"Yes, I heard that your position is going forward. She didn't notify you? You are the one who wants to go forward." said the classmate who knew.

I remember, indeed, Bajing is still the monitor. No, it should be said that she has always been the monitor, but she is not a member of the student council. She mentioned to me about the seat adjustment in the afternoon between classes. This is the decision of the head teacher, and it is also a common practice in schools. It will be done once a month, roughly to improve the effect of mutual learning. And avoid premature love behavior.

Different from the memories in the doomsday illusion. In this intense and ordinary school time, I and Bajing in the first year of high school are not very familiar with each other, and they are not good friends. They are normal students. It's just coming and going. Far less than the deeply entangled relationship in the doomsday illusion. Compared with the eight sceneries of ordinary classmates, the eight sceneries that have a close relationship with me are like characters that exist in my delusion.

I'm a little lost, but before I look for it further. It is wrong to make any judgments. I adjusted my mood and deliberately passed by Sakiya's class. He paused and looked inside. Sakuya is not there, but her position is very clear. I don't know what I think at this time. Under the circumstances at this time, whether I want to see her, or I don't want to see her.

I stepped on the shadow of the setting sun, looking for a clear memory and walking on the way home. From the perspective of the doomsday illusion, I have been away for a long time, but when the doomsday illusion is regarded as a delusion, I live Nostalgia, because this is the path I have to follow almost every day. The surrounding scenery is so natural and everyday, just like when humans use their hands and feet, they never think about how their hands and feet move. The familiarity brought by the scenery here is also imperceptibly embedded in my heart, and I never need to think about it. , Why is it like this.

In order to find evidence of truth and delusion, I took a long way around and walked through the familiar but full of instant sense of sight. I always wanted to look back unnaturally. I always felt that Sakiya would be like the end of the day. Like in the illusion, appeared inadvertently. However, she didn't show up, and there was nothing worth paying attention to along the way. Every detail was full of realism, and I couldn't make me believe that it was a fake made by the repeater based on my consciousness. The smell of wind, clouds, sunshine, and cement roads here, the air that is not so ideal because of industrialization, the sound and exhaust of cars passing by, and the conversation and involvement of people on the road are full of tangible existence. feel.

If you treat all of this as an illusion, you might be regarded as a lunatic by others. I know very well that I cannot do this, and I cannot treat everything here as a grand illusion, even , I understand the philosophy of idealism so well that I can't achieve the level of "close my eyes, the whole world does not exist". However, I can’t admit that this is true, and the adventures in the doomsday illusion are nothing more than my wishful thinking, and I am just a child who is immersed in the second delusion and almost lost in love, even if I Everything I have experienced is so cruel, it seems that there is always a giant net that weaves everyone's life carefully, even if my struggles and other people's struggles are only part of the net weaving.

In the doomsday fantasy, my outlook on life, values, and world outlook began to grow, take shape, and become fixed. That cruel world made me try to think about my destiny, understand others, and try to take on my own responsibilities. , In the life of fighting and fighting fissures, taste the tranquility of peace. That is the worst of the world. I have always tried to change it, and there are also a group of like-minded people who have different paths. Let me face the outcome that may succeed or fail. Now, I return to a comparison. Everything in the past has to be in the real world-although I haven't had enough observation yet, the current feeling has made me realize that this world may really be an ordinary and peaceful world, and it is probably me. Fighting with those people, fighting the doomsday, and finally wanting to restore the look of the world-such a world, such a calm and daily life, compared with the doomsday fantasy, it should be beautiful, but in my heart, why do you think , Is the life near **** step by step in the doomsday illusion also a kind of beauty?

That is the worst world, and...the best world? I was walking on the way home, taking a long detour, looking at the city under the sunset, unable to calm the throbbing in my heart, but it was difficult to deny the contradiction in my heart.

I clearly know that no matter how peaceful the human world is, there will be darkness in the corners, but I cannot deny that that level of darkness is good compared to the cruelty of the doomsday illusion, at least... Eight Views, Sakuya, Marceau, Seishi, Dorothy, and...Mae, in this world, can live a plain and everyday life. Yes, compared to being a patient with doomsday syndrome, if you can get such an ordinary life, it is really too happy.

If they really exist in this world, then, whether it is illusion or reality, I want to meet them to confirm their existence, and then to confirm my own existence. Regardless of whether the doomsday illusion is real or delusional, the responsibility I shoulder in it will not change due to changes in the world, unless I am no longer Gao Chuan.

Yes, that's what I think. As Gaochuan, I have actually found out what must be done. It is actually a very honorable and very fortunate thing to be able to give, to struggle, and to fight against all uncontestable malice for the people you love. Because too many people have died without such a chance.

People are always going to die.

So, the only meaning of living is the road to death, and how to die is the meaning of life that runs through the entire inevitable death.

I really want to take a look at what kind of life they can live in this beautiful and real world. Even though, in this world, they may no longer have those intersections in the doomsday illusion.

I walked into the park, left the gravel road, and walked into the remote path that also exists in the doomsday illusion. The place I want to go has a special meaning to my life. In the doomsday illusion, I found quark there, a crow that pecks the eyeballs of dead people. Its existence must be special, and it has different expression meanings in different worlds, just as it is in the reality of the hospital. It's just my self-examination of human nature. So, does it exist in this extremely real world, and does it have a different meaning?

I didn't find it. I was standing under the big tree. The darkness here came faster than outside, and the afterglow of the setting sun was unable to penetrate this leafy forest. There are also a group of children playing here. On the flat ground, there is no sign of being excavated. In the doomsday fantasy, the crow quark was encountered when I was a child. At that time, there was a murder case in this place.

However, I asked the children and they showed unknowingly eagerness. For them, the murder case is a very new and exciting story. I have carefully observed this place, there is no sign left by the incident at that time-maybe with the passage of time, the trace has been completely covered up, but it is also possible that it has never happened ~ IndoMTL.com ~ went back. Big brother, we are going back now. "The children said to me, before I could reply, they laughed and ran out of the forest.

Yes, go home, I will go home too.

Perhaps, Quark has been adopted by me at home, waiting to eat raw beef.

The darkness of the woods did not bring me any stimulation, and the associations that may occur abnormally, it is only dark, without any unique stimulation, even when the street lights are on, the scene of the shadows and buildings cannot be It makes me feel like "Anything terrible hides in it, and it will jump out at any time". The intuition I cultivated in the doomsday illusion has no effect at all, as if it does not exist in the first place, just because there is no need to exist.

In this world, there are no anomalies and mysteries, so there is no need for any power, instinct, and experience to fight against anomalies and mysteries. In this sense, what the doomsday illusion leaves me is just a pile of delusional residues. (To be continued. If you like this work, you are welcome to come to the starting point () to vote recommended votes, monthly tickets, your support is my biggest motivation. Mobile users please go to read.) (To be continued. If you like this This work, you are welcome to come to the starting point () to vote recommended votes, monthly tickets, your support is my greatest motivation. Mobile users please go to read.)