Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 1028: Crow

To say that the doomsday illusion and the hospital reality are both delusions in the brain, the most difficult thing to explain is why I have not known Dr. Ruan Li in this world that feels so real, and I am also the first whisperer who heard the eight sceneries. Plan, however, the doomsday illusion and hospital reality already have the development of these people and things? To say that this is the ability to predict the future, placed in this normal, no weird and mysterious world, this is a kind of paradox. If this world also has weirdness and mystery, then what is the difference between this world and the doomsday illusion? When weird and mysterious exist, it indirectly proves the existence of "Jiang" and "repeater", and then proves the existence of "virus". Even if nothing seems to happen now, it will definitely be at some point in the future. Happens, so I don’t want this world to be weird and mysterious. In this way, the "predictability" of delusions in my brain must be found to be eliminated with sufficient reason.

I decided to see Dr. Ruan Li in this world first. Although not much of her information is posted on the Internet, only from her photos and few introductions, we can still see that she and Dr. Ruan Li in the hospital have many similarities-first of all, her appearance. The same in terms of quality, followed by similarity in temperament, and finally, similarity in terms of professionalism. The biggest difference is probably the place of work. Doctor Ruan Li in this world runs a private psychology clinic, not a research institute disguised as a hospital on an isolated island.

Dr. Ruan Li once provided me with great help in reality in the hospital, and he was a beautiful beauty full of intellectual temperament. I was very impressed. Although she also worked for the hospital, it was me. That short-lived, full of depression and grotesque hospital real life, a little bit of bright colors felt. With my understanding of her in reality in the hospital, I can compare my experience during this period of time. Test her further in the form of a patient story. If I was worried that the in-depth contact with Bajing and the others would cause the world to change in the direction of the doomsday illusion, then, if I contacted Dr. Ruan Li, I unexpectedly did not have such worries. The doctor Ruan Li in the hospital is different from Ba Jing and others. She always observes people and the world as a psychologist and perspective. To explain the mystery and weirdness from a psychological and spiritual perspective, she herself did not delve deeply into the research of "virus", but judged the research progress through the observation of "Gaochuan". This also means that Dr. Ruan Li has always been in a neutral observation position, I think. She can give an answer that makes me feel good.

I took down the contact number of that private psychology clinic on the Internet, picked up my mobile phone and dialed it. The call over there was quickly connected, and when the voice came over, it was like a long-lost acquaintance. Her voice was simply a repetition of the reality of the hospital.

"Hello, this is Ruan Li Heart Therapy. I am Ruan Li." Dr. Ruan Li said in a formulaic opening remark.

"Hello, Dr. Ruan Li." When I was speaking, the sound on the opposite side of the receiver seemed to pause for a moment. It seemed that Dr. Ruan Li was doing other things. I couldn't help but ask again: "Dr. Ruan Li?"

"Ah, hello, this is Ruan Li, please tell me." Doctor Ruan Li finally replied. Her breathing has calmed down.

"I have had some nightmares recently. I feel that I am a little confused about what is real and what is illusion." I said briefly: "I hope you can talk to me and relieve my troubles. ."

"Okay, this is my duty. I will try my best to help you." Dr. Ruan Li's voice became very soft, which made people feel very comfortable. "Let me ask your name first."

"Gao Chuan." I replied.

"Gao Chuan?" Dr. Ruan Li fell silent suddenly, but from the breath of the earpiece, it could be judged that she did not leave. I think her reaction was a bit startled. It's like having heard of me somewhere, but in my memory of this world, I have never seen her. If it weren't for searching for Zhenjiang and the others, and then intersecting with her in a kind of fate-like accident, maybe she didn't even have a specific concept of whether she existed, where and what she was doing.

From this point of view, Dr. Ruan Li seems to have some special information in this world.

"Doctor Ruan Li?" She paused for too long, and I couldn't help but urge it.

"Ah, yes." Doctor Ruan Li seemed to wake up more and turned to other questions: "When are you free? I have a few patients here, so I need to make an appointment."

I said for a while, Dr. Ruan Li has no objection, but her voice sounds strange to me, maybe Dr. Ruan Li knows something. I am looking forward to meeting with Dr. Ruan Li, but before that, I have to go to the bank to pay for this month's living expenses. Although the visit to Dr. Ruan Li is not for the purpose of seeing a doctor, since the other party is a psychiatrist, even if it is just for chatting, there is still a fee to pay.

On this night when I confirmed that Dr. Ruan Li also exists in this world, I once again had the nightmare that became extremely vague after waking up. I only remembered that I seemed to fall in the dark, and I couldn’t tell. Existence, has been whispering, the voice that makes people crazy. When I woke up in a cold sweat, I came to the mirror top-heavy, recalling my memories, and using logical questions to confirm that I did not really become a lunatic.

In these days when I was a stranger to Hakjing and Sakiya, the feeling of weird and mysterious stirring has disappeared, and the illusion of if there is no Ruowu will also go away, but this time, I look in the mirror For a moment in a trance, he suddenly saw his left eye turn red. It seemed to remind something. It didn't seem to be my eye, but another gaze that penetrated the boundary of time and space and stared at it. "Jiang..." I couldn't help but talk about the unforgettable code name. The next moment, I suddenly woke up, and the self in the mirror returned to normal again, as if the previous change was just an illusion, but such a familiar illusion seemed to remind me that what it represented was moving towards the world. penetration.

That is an absolutely bad change from the normal world today. I began to feel unconfident about my inaction. I insisted on this ordinary and normal world with my own will. I can really put an end to the change of my knowledge and let the cruel fate only be my "second delusion." And does it exist?

I think I should work harder to prove that it is indeed my second delusion, and Dr. Ruan Li is undoubtedly the best person to talk about. Even with her in reality in the hospital as a template, she can still be guided by psychology. Let me consciously believe that I am just a patient with secondary disease. In fact, I have also realized that the reason why I can't regard myself as a patient with secondary disease is only because my experience in the doomsday fantasy and the reality of the hospital is so carved into the bone marrow that it is difficult for me to admit myself. The "ordinary".

The other way around. Even if I want to believe that everything is just my "delusion", this delusion must have its roots. The root is that I have always considered myself "different". No matter which world I am in, I will look at it from all angles. Use all the knowledge you know to demonstrate your own "different."

Yes, although I don’t want to admit it, I have begun to realize that if I always think of myself as "different", then. Changes will definitely continue-and I can't get rid of this perspective of observing the world with myself as the center. It makes me a contradiction. While I hope that this world is ordinary, I also look forward to my own extraordinaryness. However, assuming that I am extraordinary, then I will definitely bring some changes to this ordinary world and prove myself. The extraordinary.

A few nights after the next day, I tossed and turned. Thinking is painful, but it is difficult for me to let go of this pain. I can only silently wait for a decisive change in the deadlock. Although I want to lead this change, there is a keen feeling that makes me aware of something Unstoppable operation. It is like fate, firmly holding the dominance in its own hands.

"Jiang...?" I said that name in my heart. I want it to become my "delusion", but the fact may be. Its existence is not interfered by my will at all. Even though I said to myself countless times that it was just a delusion, it seemed to be rooted in my soul, so I couldn't really believe that it was a delusion.

Even in the reality of the hospital, I have never been so painful or struggling. I am not complaining about anything, but there is indeed a huge invisible gap between this ordinary world that I prefer and myself. . I began to feel that the world was unleashing the greatest malice on me. Assuming that this is not my delusion, but the trap of the repeater, then the repeater has officially shown me its power-this is a torture. The world is not physical torture, but mental, psychological, and spiritual consciousness.

My life is a burst of urgency, a burst of ease, a burst of pain, and a burst of relief, but what I have experienced these days has made me realize that it may never be fixed in one. Ease will make the urgency more urgent, and relief will always make the greater pain come suddenly. I originally thought that I would never think about it. Things that I have already let go of will suddenly appear in my mind at an inadvertent time, but I can't ignore, forget, and get rid of through subjective consciousness.

I saw myself in the mirror and became haggard day by day. It was a familiar and unfamiliar look. Then, one morning, when I looked at myself in the mirror again, I suddenly realized that the guy in the mirror Why is it familiar and unfamiliar—isn't this haggard appearance the same as Gao Chuan in the hospital?

After Dr. Ruan Li appeared, the reality of the hospital once again had a further intersection with this world-it was almost like fate.

I tried to cheer myself up and applied cold water to my face. Compared with the current situation, the life in the hospital is equally terrifying, and it has brought a huge impact to the spirit. At that time, I didn't even have a healthy body and had disabled feet, so I could only sit in a wheelchair. It is just that experience, so although I feel pain at the moment, but the familiar, fighting with what is visible or invisible, to grasp the burning of my own destiny, seems to be gradually awakening with the rush of blood .

I don’t think that the situation is worse than it was then. I always believe that no matter what kind of torture, my will will not be defeated. If anything can stop me, there must be only one way. It is to destroy the body that I rely on for action. In three days, I will go to see Dr. Ruan Li, but the haggard self in the mirror makes me feel that this is not the image of meeting a person whom I value.

Before conquering all external torture, I must conquer myself to a certain extent, at least, to awaken the will to fight. Thinking back to the doomsday illusion. In the years when I didn’t enter the mystery circle, I’ve never been so loose as I am now. It doesn’t really matter who I am fighting against—the haggard mirror image, the cold running water, and the memories of the past scenes of battles make me feel like I am. As if suddenly awakened, a burst of spirit penetrated the spinal cord-yes. It doesn't matter whether there are weird and mysterious enemies, whether there are illusions to torment oneself, the important thing is to have a fighting heart, anytime and anywhere. Enthusiasm that will never die.

I took time off from school, went out of the house, went to the hardware store, and bought back every material and tool I was familiar with. Then he reorganized his bedroom and transformed the entire space into a workshop according to his memories and experience in the doomsday fantasy. I started to make weapons that seemed to be imprinted in the soul, I polished, assembled, and sew. Listening to the collision of metal in the hand, the sound of the bowstring tightening, sharpening the blade, cutting the hand guard, and wrapping the anti-slip cloth layer after layer on the handle. In these actions, I feel the strength of my soul and listen to the sound of my soul.

This body is so fragile, there is no weirdness and mystery. It's just an ordinary high school student, but it's enough, because it's stronger than the actual body in the hospital, and it's more conducive to walking. I use the techniques of Fu Jiang Church to train myself, though. In these short few days, there will be no essential changes, but the pain and soreness caused by those actions. When I am exhausted, I feel that my fighting will is quickly condensing and returning to the level I am familiar with and accustomed to.

"Will, use your will to overcome all difficulties. Even if you can't, you still have to believe so." Fu Jiang's voice, every time I wake up from the vague nightmare, I sharpen the blade and cut When it is metal, it will echo in my mind. Her arrogance, her attack, her advice and warning, every ambiguous look in her eyes, her back standing on a high-rise building, just like old photos, listed in my mind.

Then, the night before I officially visited Dr. Ruan Li, I didn't have nightmares anymore.

When I woke up, it was the most powerful time I came to this world. That is not reflected in the body, but in my perception of myself-I have the confidence to face any gratifying or sad change, no matter if the change is as I thought or was unexpected . I thought about failures and unacceptable situations, but I got an accurate answer, that is, I was so distraught and stopped.

I have never had a truly satisfactory victory before, but I have never fallen, nor will this time. Since it will not fall, then failure itself no longer has a decisive meaning, because the only meaning of failure is to make people stop.

"Whether the world is the real reality or the trap of the repeater, the only thing I can do is actually only one." I put on the armor, adjusted the blades of my arms, and put the crossbow in my back. Bag, buckle the small parts that are conducive to action one by one on the belt, then put on the crimson windbreaker with a hood, and look in the mirror, the familiar self said: "I walked to life by my own will. The end."

In this ordinary world without weirdness and mystery, the only enemies I am armed to target are myself and the unpredictable destiny, and hidden in the shadow of the world, which may or may not exist thing. My enemy is invisible. I am armed with my body, but what is really armed is my soul.

"Go, Quark." I said to the crow painting on the wall, turning away without hesitation. I feel that the real quark is always by my side, in my soul-the crow, with black wings and sharp minions, walking through the night, its voice is harsh and hoarse, possessing wisdom, it is true The scavenger of, is regarded as unknown, but in its essence, it is just a crow, an animal that only follows instinct and thinking, and does not have any meaning added to it by others.

Gaochuan, the same is true.

In the weather in early September, the temperature has not dropped too much from the height of the late summer. Wearing a windbreaker, I was caught by the different eyes of others, but my heart was not shaken in the slightest. I had already calculated the time and walked to the bus station. Dr. Ruan Li actually lived in a high-end residential area in the north of the city. This surprised me a few days ago, but I don’t feel that way anymore. My heart is very calm. As the bus moves forward, I watch every detail that passes through the window. The sun is shining outside the car, and the shadows on the ground become extraordinarily deep, but no matter what the shadows may bring. The feeling, whether weird or normal, has never stopped in my heart.

Half an hour later, I got out of the car and walked. Dr. Ruan Li’s psychology clinic was still more than a thousand meters away from the drop-off point. I walked through the streets with a calm pace. The average price of this high-end residential area can also be regarded as the best in the entire city. As far as I know, apart from Dr. Ruan Li, only Sakiya's family has a house here, but it is a doomsday fantasy. Sakiya in the middle, what the Sakiya in this world is, is not very clear, after all, just in case, I didn't have in-depth contact with Sakiya. However, before coming here, I have inquired about the situation in this area. The relevant real estate companies have been operating for a long time, but they can only maintain a relatively deserted living environment. I seldom come to this area, and now I personally walk on the road of this community, but it is obvious that it is deserted. Although there are occasional high-end cars passing by, it still accounts for the fact that no one can be seen in five minutes. most.

Every intersection is equipped with a camera, but experience and instinct are enough to cope with it. Although, under normal circumstances, there is no need to do such a superfluous thing, but I still try to fly over the wall again to be prepared. I use this kind of non-ordinary person to do things to adapt my physical habits and weaponry. Sure enough, it was a bit unfamiliar at the beginning, but soon, the instinct completed the adjustment of the balance of the movement, and the body's footsteps began to relax.

For a distance of more than a thousand meters, walking according to the planned route takes ten minutes at the fastest. However, I have special action skills and routes, the kind of step that blends into the shadows and steps in the silence. It is being extracted from the agitation of every cell little by little. Later, on a high wall with a wide view, I overlooked Dr. Ruan Li-she was walking out of the clinic’s parking lot, remotely lowering the shutter door, carrying a medicine box in her hand, wearing a white coat, in terms of outline. , And her in reality in the hospital is indeed not much different. I made an appointment with her for a whole day, but looking at the clinic, it seems that she only started working at this time.

Dr. Ruan Li deliberately stopped before entering the door and looked around, as if looking for something~ IndoMTL.com~ After confirming that there was no one nearby, he walked into the clinic.

After I carefully confirmed that she was the doctor Ruan Li I was looking for, I jumped off the high wall, rolled on the ground to cushion, and walked along the pre-observed so that it would not be easily noticed. The route penetrated into the clinic. It is not impossible to go straight to the door openly, but I think a surprising way of appearance helps people to reveal the secrets they want to hide from the details-if she really has a secret.

I didn’t come to seek medical treatment, but to test something with a real psychologist, to confirm the world in her eyes, the me in her eyes, and even what she knew in my mind The meaning in the world of this is an act involving the psychology of the other party. Dr. Ruan Li does not have enough force, but on the psychological level, it is not a soft persimmon. When Dr. Ruan Li reached contact with me, I was already aware of some weird things she suppressed. From this perspective, it seems that Dr. Ruan Li, who seems to have nothing to do with me, Gaochuan in this world, may be in some way. In a sense, they have a closer relationship with me than Hakkei Sakiya. If the interpersonal relationship in the doomsday illusion and the hospital reality will be reflected in this world, then the relationship between the doctor and the patient between Dr. Ruan Li and me may continue to some extent, even if, In my memory of this world, there is no such impression. (To be continued. If you like this work, you are welcome to come to the starting point () to vote recommended votes, monthly tickets, your support is my biggest motivation. Mobile users please go to read.)