Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 1031: Existing soil
The story I wrote describing the doomsday fantasy and the hospital reality was unsurprisingly regarded as evidence of "delusion" by Dr. Ruan Li. However, because of entering the role he played, he did not resist such a situation. I am not only the adopted son of Dr. Ruan Li, but also her patient. This identity will continue until I leave here. Although, I did not find a way to return to the doomsday illusion Las Vegas. However, the stronger the presence of "Jiang", the more it gives me a sense of urgency that I am about to leave here. This world is ordinary. I don't plan to stay here for long for fear of incurring changes that will distort this ordinary world. .
I have customized a time for return and a series of methods to try to return. It turns out that just focusing on "delusions" on the doomsday illusion cannot bring me back to the doomsday illusion. It is only It's just a delusion based on this world. As for completely denying the existence of this world, I can't do it, because I like this world. Not denying this world, but wanting to return to the doomsday illusion, seems to be very difficult, even if my identity is often trapped in a world of delusions, mental patients who confuse delusions with reality cannot do it—probably because of doing it. No, so my performance in the interpretation of Dr. Ruan Li is proof that the symptoms of mental illness have improved.
"Delusion is not a bad thing." On this day, Dr. Ruan Li said to me: "Everyone, from children to adulthood, will have illusions about something normal or abnormal, especially children, because of the will Because of immaturity, when they observe the world with that ignorant and naive perspective, they will always find that the world has many things beyond their vision. Although it is a natural existence for adults, for children, But it is difficult to recognize. Therefore, they will have fear, repulsion, and curiosity. They will be regarded as foreign objects. This will become one of the sources of their delusions. Human beings are in this fear of the unknown and try to learn from themselves. From this perspective, it is not unreasonable to say that delusion is a driving force for human progress.” She said that, she paused, and sat quietly in a chair to eat. My eyes met during dinner, only at this time. Her gaze was especially like that of Doctor Ruan Li in the hospital.
She went on to say: "However, if you take the foreign objects that you have delusioned as something for granted, and do not go into the reason why they are so, and then accept their existence with the concept of foreign objects, your current problem will appear. The so-called foreign body is a concept that distinguishes it from normal things. Normal things are often boring, boring, complicated and uninteresting. In contrast, foreign bodies are naturally interesting and mysterious. They are scary but yet uninteresting. It is full of excitement. In other words, when a foreign object becomes a normal object in the perspective, it will lose these attractive qualities. However, for a person to grow up and live a normal life, what is needed is a normal object, not a foreign object. Constantly transforming foreign objects in one's field of vision into the concept of normal objects. It is the process of a person's maturity. Because of the decrease of foreign objects and the increase of normal objects, the adult world is often boring and tiring because. A person The range of contact with foreign objects is extremely limited. The more you reach the edge of this range, the fewer foreign objects you can come into contact with, and the more common objects. The growth rate of foreign objects can be maintained without being transformed into normal objects. Overwhelming, probably because they often expand their cognitive margins and get in touch with scientific researchers with advanced knowledge. However, not everyone has that kind of talent, and throughout their lives, people who cannot expand the boundaries of contact are in this world. Occupies a huge majority, so when these people grow up, they will feel bored in their lives, and this also means their maturity."
"It sounds like maturity is not a good word." I replied.
"Perhaps, but, in my dictionary, maturity is neither a commendatory term nor a derogatory term." Dr. Ruan Li blinked and smiled: "It's just the limits of each individual and the needs of the division of labor in society. That's it, the meaning it represents is very complex, but indispensable. Put it this way, maturity can also represent stability, and a stable component is a necessary factor for the smooth operation of the large machinery of human society. You would not think that by A machine composed of unstable parts can work better, right? Human society needs mature people, and the reason can be explained simply. Immature people are either new parts that can be processed or parts that have been confirmed to be damaged. Society The machine will automatically get rid of it. Achuan, you know that I am committed to psychology research, the purpose of which is to—"
"Save the damaged part?" I said.
"No, I don’t have that ability. It’s just that the depth of a discipline, especially the depth of psychology, can make the self-discipline screening of social machines more refined and perfect. In the past, it was confirmed to be damaged parts. In my opinion, it’s just that the screening mechanism is too crude to filter out the parts that may actually be repaired. Under the new mechanism, this screening may be more precise." Dr. Ruan Li is very Speak confidently. Her description is very popular, even if I only have the knowledge of high school students, I can understand it, and it is the first time I heard that Dr. Ruan Li’s research carried such profound ideas and ideas. From my personal perspective, Ruan Li, the adoptive mother sitting in front of me, is much better than Ruan Li, the attending doctor in the hospital.
"Really a great goal." What else can I say? Her philosophy does make me think that this is a great and logical path. Maybe she can't succeed alone, but there is no denying that there is something that attracts people to study along this path. I admire such a Dr. Ruan Li, because this is the second time I have seen a researcher who clearly stated his scientific ideas. The first one is probably Dr. Ande in reality in the hospital.
Because the hospital has Dr. Ande in reality, and this extremely real world has Dr. Ruan Li, I can’t deny once again the actual existence of this world-assuming this world is a repeater based on me The ideological illusion cage created by the change of consciousness, then, cannot exist such a high-level concept that I can't even touch, and I have never even thought of it. Compared with a world with such a high-level concept, a doomsday illusion that completely displays uninterpretable weirdness and mystery is even more illusory and unreal.
"But, with such precise screening of parts, does it appear that human society is too harsh?" I have no objection to Dr. Ruan Li's view on this issue. However, I also have my own doubts, "A demanding society may operate more efficiently, but it is also easy to collapse due to details. Is a too sophisticated society lacking the ability to self-regulate?"
Doctor Ruan Li stopped his chopsticks in surprise. She seems to think that it is incredible that I can put forward this view, and from the look in her eyes, I feel that she is not surprised because I am right, but because the question I asked is wrong in her imagination. of. That's why I was surprised.
"Do you really think so? A Chuan." Dr. Ruan Li frowned slightly, but soon let go, "Yes, you have been very smart since childhood, and there are many professional books to read at home, so, Your contact area is much wider than that of ordinary children. However, your receptive power does not exceed that of ordinary children. It can only be said that it is ordinary and excellent. Therefore, the foreign objects in your cognition are more than ordinary objects. More, which has contributed to the current mental problems, is a fault that I don't usually pay attention to." After correcting my face. She began to resolutely deny my previous question: "Humans can recognize that they are already the most intelligent creatures on this planet, and therefore realize how strong their independence is, and thus, human beings and human beings The connection between societies is not as close as I originally imagined. For example, if human society lacks a certain human individual, it will not stop functioning, and it will develop to the point where human individuals leave the human society, and absolutely nothing will be missing. Unable to survive. Some people even think that the associativity of human society is not as good as that of ant colonies. However, as I said before, this is just an illusion. Humans pride themselves on the maturity of their psychology and consciousness. However, from psychology and consciousness In terms of aspect, human personality is actually thinner than ant personality."
I was fascinated by Dr. Ruan Li’s statement again, and only heard her continue to say: “In the eyes of many people today, human individuals believe that their mental consciousness is independent and equal after maturity. The ideology of the society has some intersections, but it will not change its independence because of this intersection. However, from the scope of psychology and ideology, an interesting conclusion will appear, even if the human individual is far away from the human group The self-consciousness has not been cut off from the social consciousness, no matter when you are alone, seeking the emergence of the group, or the individual's rejection of the group in some cases, it means that this invisible connection exists. Because it is really cut off. After the connection, it should not be hope to join or resist rejection, but a kind of temptation and cognitive ignorance. When facing the unknown, fear may arise, but fear itself does not lead to joining or resistance. , But a pure stimulus and curiosity. Only after understanding it, can you hope to join or strongly reject it, and understanding is the embodiment of connection. Therefore, the attraction of human society to individual humans is similar to that of human beings. The repulsive power of individuals against human society is actually a manifestation of the connection between each other. Attraction and repulsion have always existed, which naturally means that the connection has never been interrupted."
"This is really...interesting statement." I did not comment on its correctness or not, because I am just an excellent high school student, and Dr. Ruan Li is a psychologist who has the depth of this topic. Qualifications for discussion. She may be wrong, but it is only out of conjecture that "she is wrong." I don't have the arrogance to specify whether the results of this level of research are correct based on my own knowledge. Therefore, I can only use "fun" to represent my silence.
When Dr. Ruan Li talked about this topic, he became very interested, and continued with the previous words: "From the point of view of the consciousness of human beings, the seemingly independent conscious individuals are actually only derived from the ideology of human society. The parts that are separated and processed based on the needs of division of labor. Their independent personality is the embodiment of human society’s pursuit of self-growth, but it is not really independent and individualized. In short, it is the recognition of human social intentions. The destination is to package the part of itself that was copied and cloned into different things, follow the advantages of diverse development, and carry out the screening and evolution that is beneficial to itself on a macro level. However, it is precisely because its core is not so individual and independent Things, so, in turn, become proof that individual humans cannot separate themselves from their connection with human society."
"In other words, the existence of individual humans and the high degree of individualized awakening prove the indivisibility of individual humans and human society, and the commonality of human society, in turn, proves that there is no real human individual Personality?" When I asked this question. I also feel incredible about it. The facts embodied in this theory are no more superficial than any weird and mysterious existence. It is precisely because it is so complicated that I am not aware of it and cannot refute its correctness. I know, if I raise an objection. Dr. Ruan Li has more examples to prove it is correct.
"But, what does this have to do with my previous question about the precision of human society?" I turned back to the topic and asked.
"What a fool." Dr. Ruan Li's passionate tone eased, and said to me: "The complexity of human society is a manifestation of precision, a rough thing. It is impossible to become complicated. Otherwise, it will collapse. Since the human society is so complicated, once we study deeply, we will discover the existence of many foreign objects that are temporarily incomprehensible. How can it be because of the progress that I brought when some foreign objects were transformed into normal objects? And become more precise? Human society is more demanding than anyone thinks. Even more precise, the changes that my research can bring are just a drop in the ocean. From the perspective of the transformation of foreign objects into common objects, Perhaps, the more precise screening mechanism I envisioned has existed for a long time and has been operating all the time. What I did was just to untie its veil and let it change from an unrecognized foreign object into an unrecognized foreign object. It’s just a common thing to confirm. My supervisor once told me that the researcher is not creating anything. What he does is just to make his own eyes. From nearsightedness to infinitely close to normal, he can see things in the dark depths clearly. The researcher did not change anything, all seeming changes. In fact, they have existed here, but have not been observed. When I was not working independently, I often disagreed with this sentence, but now, I just have a superficial understanding of this."
The topic of Dr. Ruan Li quickly turned to the days when she worked with her own subject tutor. The tutor obviously had a deep influence on her, but in Dr. Ruan Li’s tone, she didn’t talk about it. Full of complaints. And when you can talk about that period of time, it is naturally not an unspeakable past. This kind of chat, in fact, after reconfirming the relationship of Dr. Ruan Li’s adoptive mother, dinner will happen every day. The topic often does not have a clear center. It will extend from one topic to another, and eventually completely separate from the original topic, and then return to it. Some conversations about domestic affairs. It's relaxed and casual, but it makes me feel that this is actually a deliberate act of Dr. Ruan Li. Although she thinks that my recent "condition" has improved, she still needs further treatment. Through seemingly endless chats, To deepen my rejection of delusions, this is a continuous, suggestive treatment method-when I woke up, it has been so many days, and these days, in addition to always doing about "Jiang Outside of the nightmare, there is no change in the world for the time being. Dr. Ruan Li’s imperceptible treatment is indeed full of effects. I think so because I feel that the frequent expression of "Jiang" is a rebound of the effect of this treatment. However, in addition to affecting me, The power of "Jiang" seems to be separated from the world by a shallow but tough barrier.
This world is normal, but I am abnormal, and Dr. Ruan Li’s treatment has allowed my "abnormal" to exist as a concept of "limitation". Abnormality is a manifestation of the limitations of vision and cognition. Abnormalities that are absolutely incomprehensible do not exist. This is the scientific and ordinary world without any abnormality and mystery. Even if it is one million steps ahead of the pace of science, it is still the cognition of the scientific category, which dilutes the mysterious concept. And because the concept of the limit of the human contact range is also eliminated, the mystery is always out of sight, because the mystery and anomaly are the manifestations of foreign objects, and within the limit of the human contact range, foreign objects are constantly transformed into normal objects. What is reduced, as for things outside the limit of human contact, has no meaning at all, because since it is not "touched", it naturally cannot reflect its existence. The mystery and anomaly, at least to ensure that it exists.
Within the limit of human contact range, there are all kinds of foreign objects, weird things, and mystery. Although everyone's contact range may be different, some geniuses have more limits, but I I can't claim that my limit of contact is greater than others, and more genius than others. If the limit of my contact range is not much different from others, and many people are beyond me, then the anomalies and mysteries I have observed are naturally extremely nonsense in the eyes of others. It is also ridiculous that stubbornness is regarded as incomprehensible. And this kind of me will be rejected by human society as an immature individual, an unstable part, so I am a mental patient, and others are not, I am ridiculously stupid, and others are not.
On the other hand, if I cannot become normal, then being rejected by the world is extremely normal. However, the existence of "Jiang" prevented me from becoming normal. Therefore, Dr. Ruan Li never felt that my condition was cured. In her eyes, I have probably repeated my illness many times, and it will certainly be the case afterwards, so I won't be taken lightly to my current normalcy.
After all, she said, "You were normal for a while, but you will always get sick". She does not believe in my spontaneous "cure", but only believes in the data and conclusions she has obtained after years of observation and research.
The problem I need to face now is that I like this world, but this world is repellent to me, and the pain caused by it is real, even if it is still very small at this time, but as time goes by, Will keep increasing. If I want to be accepted by this world, I must accept the change. However, the existence of "Jiang" makes me unable to change. Although this is contradictory, it is also a fact that cannot be denied. Because of the existence of "Jiang", I and this world are full of irreconcilable conflicts. However, even if I want to leave this world, I feel that I must be able to leave, but I cannot find a specific method. During this period, I must Endure, this world is constantly stimulating "Jiang", and the activity of "Jiang" will have eroding consequences for this world.
I have never felt that this world can resist "Jiang", because in my cognition, "Jiang" and "virus" are full of destructive existence.
I was lying on the bed~IndoMTL.com~ The neon light outside the window turned the building next door red. The color reminded me of "Jiang". I got up and stood in front of the dressing mirror, stroking my left eye, no matter what However, I cannot feel the existence of "Jiang" when I am awake, as if it is just my illusion at this time. Maybe I should be thankful that it won't mess up the world immediately. I fell asleep again, fell asleep, and felt the agitation of "Jiang" in the nightmare I was accustomed to, and then when I woke up, I felt the remnants of this agitation.
Day after day, I gradually got used to this repetition, seeming to have some signs of joy, but there has been no more concrete signs of life. The world is still normal, and my life continues in a steady and steady state. I don’t have too many intersections with Bajing and Sakuya. I continue to look for Zhenjiang and the others, and Dr. Ruan Li’s treatment continues. Dr. Ruan Li knew who I was looking for. She offered to help. She believed that the final result would be conducive to the recovery of my mental state. She asked international friends for help, but there was no result. There are many girls with the same name, but the specific identity information is obviously not the person I want to find.
There was no progress in locating people, but it further proved how ordinary and normal this world is, and such a stable living condition lasted for two months. If it weren't for "Jiang" every night, he would remind of its existence in the nightmare, I am afraid I would integrate into this world more thoroughly. (To be continued. If you like this work, you are welcome to come to the starting point () to vote recommended votes, monthly tickets, your support is my biggest motivation. Mobile users please go to read.)