Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 1134: Unstoppable

I am the top student Gao Chuan, and I am only the top student Gao Chuan. I don’t think I can understand everything that ordinary people can’t understand, but I can choose to accept things that others cannot accept. Because I have encountered things that ordinary people cannot encounter. I know that this is not a second-level fantasy, just because the facts I want to accept are crazier than novels and fantasy.

I do not deny that some things imprinted in the body and personality from the "reality" level have become part of the core of the personality of "I", but that is not all. I don't understand what's happening on the "reality" level, at least not every detail, every emotion. My birth and growth were not in reality. My childhood memories, and most of the decisive factors that helped me become what I am now, all came from the doomsday illusion. The emotions I have are also more derived from this relatively "real" "illusory".

I still remember the blow I suffered before my death and the things I encountered in order to break the fog. Those things awakened certain memories sleeping in the core of the personality, but I am not sure whether those memories After a twist.

I mention these here, not to say that the "realistic" level of things is not important to me, on the contrary, it is because they are very important, so I cannot easily draw conclusions, completely and completely To accept. I have always believed that when walking in the fog, what can guide oneself is definitely not something that even oneself can't be completely sure of, but to make oneself what it is now. No matter what kind of illusory illusion it was born under, but since it already exists, it must have a reason for its existence, and then it really exists.

Before me, Gao Chuan, who had always lived in the "realistic" level, what kind of appearance, personality, and what he was thinking about. I don't understand or care about what I have done. Because the factors that make up the "Gaochuan" are not exactly the factors that make up my Gaochuan. Of course, something that is difficult to change must be passed on to me. However, it cannot be denied that those who have been passed down, plus the "doomsday illusion" endowed me, constitute me today.

The action and thinking mechanism I follow does not focus on factors in "reality". This is crazy. Isn't it?

Who am I? What kind of Gaochuan personality is I?

Actually, the answer is very simple. After excluding the uncertain "reality" factors, what is left is the "doomsday fantasy" factor that has already been determined.

Climbing trees, swinging horizontal bars, walking on narrow corridor guardrails, jumping off high stairs and floors, and over high walls. In the age when the dangerous behaviors of flying over the wall were used as children's games, everyone was unrestrained, not afraid of bleeding and broken bones, and didn't think it would be disgusting to trample on frogs and eat roast locusts, just to get brave praise and admiration.

Of course, adults do not agree. They only feel scared and sick.

"How can you do that, it's too dangerous!"

"Who is your head?"

"Gao Chuan. He is very powerful."

"Stop playing with him! Hear you? I'm looking for his parents! This child needs to be educated."

I was severely reprimanded. The companions left one by one.

As we get older, adults teach children what fear is.

I didn't repent at first, and I still drove on the roof and the wall, but when I was alone, I couldn't do it in full view, because everyone else thought it was too boring and a little stupid. The surprised eyes of others treated me as an actor.

Then, I became a top student, did not involve dangerous behavior, and did not participate in sports activities. Focus on academics.

But this is just to avoid loneliness.

I am used to treating myself as an example of top students, combing short and medium hair finely to reveal an intellectual and delicate face, and sometimes wear plain glasses. The school uniform was meticulous, wrapped around the shapely body like a film, and was also in the student union, actively participating in the learning competition. At the end of each semester, the praise in the personal evaluation report almost overflows the grid.

Nevertheless, those unstable factors beyond common sense and consensus are still lurking in the body, soul, and blood.

This is me, pretending to be a top student, no, in fact, I also became a real top student, but the mere top student in common sense cannot describe all of me. I can accept my unimaginable behavior and thinking, as well as the unimaginable behavior and thinking of others, and all the things that seem incredible and crazy.

I can adapt to any "real" and "environment" that is like a novel story, even more outrageous than a novel story. From a long time ago, I thought that the suffering that humans can encounter has been described as far as possible by humans with that outrageous imagination. Some people will be surprised that the facts overlap with this imaginary story, and it is difficult to accept, but for me, the idea is-now that I have thought of it, this is a kind of "preparation" that I have experienced. At that time, there is adaptability.

I am constantly adapting to these sudden things. These things seem amazing to be described as "unimaginable", but for me, their essence has already been "imagined". The so-called "beyond imagination" is just a simple and exaggerated modification.

I can adapt to whether it is normal or abnormal. Even if I wake up and find that I am just a mental patient with a tragic fate in a hospital, I won't be at a loss. And this kind of adaptability is created by the factors in the "doomsday illusion". The doomsday illusion is so important to me, it is the basis for my existence here and my continued existence. I am no longer confused, how to deal with "reality" and "apocalyptic fantasy". Because, to compare the two together and find the only truth is simply a wrong and absurd thing.

Even if the doomsday illusion does not exist anymore, the factors that constitute the me that originated from the doomsday illusion will not disappear. Now, the doomsday illusion that gave birth to me has really disappeared, but I am still alive, and this It itself represents the "reality" of the doomsday illusion.

I exist, so the factors that gave birth to me have always existed. I am real, so. Those factors are real.

This is a very simple, very simple inference, isn't it? Under this inference, "reality" and "doomsday illusion" are just the difference of the environment, just like walking from a natural forest into a city, it is wrong to treat the natural forest as all the real nature. However, it is also incorrect to deny the existence of natural forests because of the existence of cities.

For the same reason, we cannot use excuses such as "abnormal" and "unimaginable" to exclude their existence, authenticity, and possible correctness.

So. I will not doubt my authenticity, existence and correctness just because others will reprimand and question my extraordinary behavior and look at it with incomprehensible eyes. I don't think that what I love, and the guy who loves me, are not humans at all, and what a great thing.

I don’t need other people’s understanding. I just silently chased the madness in the shadow of the corner. I can always hear that arrogant and fearless yelling.

I will not conceal my love for "Jiang", nor will I worry about the nature of return because of the madness and danger of this "love". My "love" is pure, maybe not so pure at first, but I have always wanted to have this pure. So, I did this, letting myself be like a madman, loving like a fool, abandoning all assumptions about the consequences, and not thinking about what's wrong.

I’m not crazy, I know what I’m doing. What does it matter if others cannot understand? I can understand myself, that's enough. Everyone calls "understanding others and changing themselves according to others' understanding" as maturity. And, there are always many examples to prove that if you don't do this, you will definitely regret it someday in the future and be ashamed of your "immaturity" at that time.

I understand, I understand, what they say and what they prove are all facts, but--

I also understand that that's not all, the only fact.

I am stubborn and pay the price for it. In the eyes of many people, it must be a very painful price. Only immature children and lunatics with brain problems can persist in this way. In the eyes of people, it is unnecessary and worthless.

I understand, I understand, I know why they think so, and I don't deny the correctness of this idea.

But that is not the only correctness.

At least, when I died, I didn't regret my life, and I never felt that I had made many wrong decisions. I remember very clearly how happy I was even in the process of death. Even though there were many things I could not accomplish, I had regrets, but I did not regret it. In my opinion, this is because "I am on the right path of life", so I can reap the fruits.

I am strong, and my life is very fulfilling. I do what a mediocrity can’t do in my whole life. I burn myself to death before dying, instead of lying in a hospital bed and dying. Waiting for the end of life.

Now, since death can't knock me down, I don't know what else can stop me from becoming stronger, and I don't know what else can deny the correctness of my thinking and behavior.

I'm walking on a deadly street, holding my neurotic lover. I walked in crazy dreams, chewing on my past. I looked at the glass window of the shop, and the figure in it was branded in the light. It looked so miserable, as if it were a terrible monster that would jump out and attack myself at any time. In this regard, I just smiled disdainfully, because now I no longer use this kind of thing to evaluate myself. Many people like to look in the mirror, and all kinds of imaginary fears arise from this, because the figure in the mirror seems to be describing a real self-but in fact it is just a fake, not NS? Only your own thoughts can really confirm your authenticity.

No matter how real it looks, the fake is fake. It does not imply reality, nor does it predict the future, nor can it represent me. If it jumps out to attack, it only means that it is a monster, not me. Is a monster. Therefore, I will not feel fear or panic because of its "tragic but ready to attack" appearance. It is it, and I am still me.

I scanned the surroundings, and I heard Xisuo Suo's voice constantly behind me. Something seemed to be following me, and there were loud crashes and cracks from time to time, as if something rushed up. I don't even look back, because I know it's just sound. Then. The smell also appeared, this kind of smell mixed with a breath, which made people feel that there was some terrible creature lingering nearby. When the light was dimmed, something rushed to another from the corner of the eye, which was not very clear. corner.

The world of boundary lines. Becoming more and more fulfilling, filling in every element that can make people fearful, even the wind is produced, when it blows across the skin, it brings a strange coolness, and it also carries the indescribable far away . The extremely chaotic voice, as if there is nowhere to escape, danger and malice have surrounded him from all sides.

There is still no ripple in my heart. Together with Mae, I strode forward blindly. Mae suddenly giggled. In the empty and lonely street, this horrible atmosphere adds a penetrating taste, as if she will become a monster and take my life in the next moment. But I just calmly and tightly grabbed her hand and held her forward.

I will not hesitate, nor will I be afraid, nor will I think about questions such as "If those terrible ideas become real". I trust the lover next to me wholeheartedly. It will not cause shock, abandonment, and rejection just because it is really deformed.

That's how I love it, accept it, trust it, and devote myself to it, even if I fall into **** because of it, I will never look back.

Mae's laughter is getting louder and louder and more frantic. Like a lunatic, laughing wildly without meaning, and I responded to her with silence, taking every step firmly. I suddenly felt. My own silence, and the laughter echoing in the horrible atmosphere, are mixed in a subtle and harmonious form, and become incomparably harmonious. In this weird harmony, all the fear factors are like the first snow. Melted quickly.

I couldn't help feeling like this—the world of the boundary line gradually became like a back garden that only belonged to the two of us. Its dead silence, sound, taste, and other intuitive factors are fading the color of terror from my feelings, so dead silence has become tranquility, sound has become rhythm, smell has become vitality, even the brightness Street lights and creepy shadows have also become a taste that caters to the rhythm. The perceptual change of these factors suddenly brightened the gloomy boundary line—not really a bright and stable light appeared, but just a sensual brightness.

My mood became lighter. When I looked at Zhenjiang, I found that she had stopped laughing, and she was also looking at me. Now she is completely out of touch with neurotic mental patients. She is so peaceful and beautiful, as described in the story. She is weak and pale, but she has a kind of toughness and beauty. She likes to play elegant piano music by the windows of the house irradiated by the warm sun.

The scenery in the boundary line began to be distorted again. The road ahead, the streetlights on the roadside, and even the towering buildings began to distort, as if the reflection reflected in the water, because it was stirred, ripples, and repeated Piece together, as if every fragment is mixed with other inconsistent fragments. It is also like that the towel embroidered into this landscape design is twisted up forcefully.

However, in these broken and mixed scenery, as if twisted into a ball, there is a long and thin road, because this distortion is clearly presented under the feet, although it is not straight, but there is no Rupture and disagreement are a "shortcut" that makes people feel like they can step on, and as long as they reach the end, they can reach their destination.

This time, Mae suddenly took the initiative and pulled me to run on this "shortcut". I soon discovered that when I step on this road, I don’t just walk one step at a time. Every step I land on ~ IndoMTL.com~ the twisted landscape next to me will quickly retreat like a revolving lantern. When I looked back and wanted to see where I had stood, I found that the road I had already passed was completely different from the road I had observed in the first place. It's like, every time you step, you actually step from one "shortcut" to another "shortcut".

When Zhenjiang stopped, the distorted scenery gradually subsided like ripples. When it was completely stabilized, I had reached the other end of the city. This location is at least half an hour’s drive away from where we started.

"Damn it, why is it so quiet tonight." Someone was talking. This time, it was a real voice, not something weird. The man walked out of the shadow of an alley as I looked around. He was surprised and disturbed by the environmental elements in the boundary line, "Am I dreaming?" Because I and Zhenjiang are not far from him, and only the three of us can be in this place, the only thing that can confirm each other. Character, so he saw us naturally, and after hesitating, he walked cautiously towards us.

"Hey! Man, what happened?" His voice was rude and not at all polite, with a kind of toughness that people must answer. (To be continued. If you like this work, you are welcome to come to the starting point () to vote recommended votes, monthly tickets, your support is my biggest motivation. Mobile users please go to read.)