Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 1153: Self-correction

The visit of John Bull and Zuojiang was pleasantly surprised, but there were also many questions that followed, such as how they determined my whereabouts, and why not sooner or later, when I just returned home, I found the demon summoning procedure. Appears when the disk is stolen. In this repeater world, whether I searched for them before or they searched for me, there should not be a substantial difference in the difficulty. This kind of coincidence makes me unable to believe that John Bull and Zuo Jiang really only rely on their own abilities to find the ‘door’. Maybe they know something, maybe they don’t know, but someone is guiding behind the scenes. However, I am more optimistic about the previous speculation. John Bull is a senior mystery expert. Although Zuo Jiang has obtained the "mystery" for a short time, he is also a mercenary who has been on the battlefield for many years. Both of them have enough. Sensitivity and analytical ability.

I never worried that this would be an unpleasant meeting. Even if John Bull knew that the relationship between me and the army had deteriorated, he would not make excessive words or deeds. She acts with a very obvious cyberball style. When everyone's goals are the same, she will not completely destroy the cooperative relationship between the two parties because of a little difference in the choice of action. As for Zuo Jiang, even if I know that Zuo Jiang is Dorothy’s pawn, I don’t think she will become an enemy, because Zuo Jiang, like Jiang Chuan, is not a dead thing with "nothing in the past", even if its birth has various inside stories, its growth The things encountered in the game, the thoughts generated, and the personality molded out of them are all independent and true. Dorothy may be able to guide or force them to become "traps" through "mystery", but I am more willing to believe that their own wishes are not the case.

If I said that I still have any shortcomings in the operation of the Victorian Heavy Industry Materialization Zone of the Ruling Bureau, I probably couldn’t determine the whereabouts of Jiang Chuan in the end — the Jiang Chuan I saw at the time was still not the real one. After she disappeared like a phantom, there was no answer. The phantom-like Jiangchuan led me to Dorothy, but this was not the reason for my resentment of her, and, from the beginning, I never complained about her or Dorothy, no matter what they did.

The disappearance of Jiangchuan made me feel melancholy, but I couldn't stop it from beginning to end. I hope Zuochuan will not step into Jiangchuan's end. Now Dorothy may not be the only person staring at her. If John Bull and Zuo Chuan were led by someone, it means that they have already been followed.

My attitude towards Zuo Chuan is the same as in the past, as if we have never separated. Regardless of whether Zuo Chuan has thought about more, I think this is the best way to get along. Moreover, I didn't see from Zuo Chuan how she was different from usual. Zuo Chuan's "sexual" personality and behavior characteristics, as always, make him like a ninja silently guarding his master's side.

Me, Fu Jiang, John Bull and Zuo Chuan ate and drank lively to celebrate the reunion again. I really feel thankful that I have seen too much in the past period of time. The mystery expert was buried in this operation. I also feel that John Bull is also sincerely happy that I am still alive. Under this premise, no matter what purpose she has this time, it doesn't really matter anymore.

John Niu is still a little offbeat towards Fu Jiang. Fu Jiang and Zuo Jiang’s "sex" are very different. However, from the point of "meeting new friends", Fu Jiang is more familiar with each other, or, in fact, she is right John Bull, and even to other people he knows, what kind of attitude he has, whether he is hostile or not, or what ideas he has, he doesn't care about it. I know Fu Jiang, she is a person who "because she is strong and never cares about the details", in the past adventures, Fu Jiang has never been defeated in the true sense, and has never been a little bit because of bad circumstances. Moving, it makes people feel that she has always been confident that "no matter what the problem is, she can rely on absolute strength to solve all problems" without any reason.

Because of this extreme and never hesitating self-confidence, whether it is John Bull, Zuo Chuan, other people and inhumans, whether it is a coincidence or not a coincidence, is there any behind-the-scenes 'Everything is good, she has an indifferent attitude, and she appears cheerful and familiar.

I actually envy Fu Jiang. Because, I always emphasize that I am strong. This in itself is a manifestation of my lack of self-confidence. I know that deep in my heart, there are too many worries and hesitations. The "virus" is weird and powerful, in the doomsday fantasy. Every time I have failed, I know that I have failed again and again, no matter how I tell myself, there is still hope for everything, and the feeling of despair is still not entangled. Faced with a situation where everyone is helpless, all my thoughts and actions have always been a dying struggle. Even if I force myself to be confident, I cannot deny this clown-like situation against my heart.

Fu Jiang has almost everything I yearn for. If her "sex" doesn't become a male "sex", it's the type I once dreamed that I could become too. And such Fu Jiang can always get a lot of "female" sexual favors. Being a John Bull is no exception. No matter what she thinks in her heart, she will soon cease to be a girl in her facial expressions and actions. Tangled with changes from Zuojiang to Fujiang.

Zuo Chuan has always been bad words, and I couldn't help asking about her situation during the time after we were separated. Only then did I know that Zuo Chuan considered coming to the Central Principality to find my whereabouts in the first place. Although her mystery is also suppressed by this repeater world, her own ability as an ‘elite’ mercenary is enough to allow her to navigate the European and American worlds. The overall situation in this world is more peaceful than the outside world. The biggest trouble encountered by Zuo Chuan was that on the first night, he was regarded as a soft persimmon by the ruffian and wanted to do something wrong with her.

After integrating into the local life, it is not a problem to travel to Asia, but it is not easy to find a specific person in a foreign country with a huge territory, and to avoid being noticeable as much as possible. Things, especially after she began to notice some abnormal signs, she subconsciously hid herself.

"I saw some people." She said, "Although they look like natives of this world, but my instinct tells me that they are like us, unannounced intruders and mysterious experts. After that, I secretly investigated and found that Father Edward was among them, and many member organizations also dispatched personnel independent of the Las Vegas Special Operations Force."

"Do you know it was them?" Father Edward had a big fight in London and he was bound to be on the blacklist. Zuo Jiang knew that he was not something to be surprised, but she was able to even other members of the organization. It is surprising to recognize it. After all, Zuo Chuan has not been in contact with the mysterious circle for a long time, and the member organization that leaves the Las Vegas Special Operations Force alone to act alone should have been extremely secretive, and the manpower sent by it should not have too obvious characteristics.

"The Mercenary Association seems to have been prepared for a long time. A part of the list was'handed over' to the members of the association who participated in this operation. Many people on the list are now appearing in this repeater world." Zuo Chuan So answered.

Afterwards, Zuo Chuan lurked according to his instinct, that is, when I was in contact with Carmen, because Carmen’s mysterious hourglass caused the world’s “mysterious” blockade to appear flaws, and continued sex. During the period of'Yu'bo', Zuo Chuan obtained the Demon Summoning Program Disk.

"You used the Demon Summoning Program?" I couldn't help but confirm it again.

Zuo Chuan nodded: "If you don't use the demon summoning program, you can't use mystery in this world at all."

"John Bull, what do you think of the Demon Summoning Procedure?" I turned my head to look at John Bull.

"Obviously, it's not a good thing, but we need it, don't we?" John Bull's face is a bit heavy, "We have too few people, we have to do something in this world, there is no mystery Power will be swallowed up by the social order of this world. Even if I don’t care about being an ordinary person, it is still very dangerous to be an ordinary person under the noses of the Nazis. After all, this is a Nazi repeater. Although we have some Repeaters, the Doomsday Sect is also targeting the Nazis. However, it is impossible for us and the Doomsday Sect to truly cooperate, and the cooperation with the 51st District has not reached the point where it is possible to share repeaters. The Nazis’ two repeaters are There is no concern in this regard. From the beginning of this operation, we did not count on the support of the repeater. Everything can only be done by ourselves. I think Mr. Gaochuan also knows it?"

"I'll just confirm it again." I said calmly, "There is a big problem with the demon summoning process, but since I can't refuse it, I won't mention it for the time being. I recently had a plan to have a quarrel with Rivet and the others. Part of it was destroyed by me. Although it was not a failure of the plan from the result, the situation of the team was not very good because of me. If you want to join the troops, you can go to Europe. I think they should be there. Side."

"What's the matter?" John Bull was a little surprised.

I recounted the things and original intentions I did from the toilet talk. Because I only summarized the causes and results, the details can only be blurred as much as possible. However, what I did in the Victorian Heavy Industry Materialized Zone Things, and the purpose of doing them, there is nothing to hide. "Gaochuan" was originally a citizen of the Central Duchy. It is not a matter of guilt at all to extend the local tendency of'sexuality' to the world of repeaters. The internal environment of the team had a bad influence. However, since there has always been a tendency to build a multinational force, it is of course necessary to consider and bear the impact of the differences in personal thinking caused by different growth environments.

John Bull is a member of Cyberball, and he can better understand these problems. No matter in the past or present, no matter in which doomsday illusion, Cyberball, as a mysterious organization aiming to unite global forces, encountered this There are many more types of problems than other mysterious organizations, and the internal structure of the organization is also very international. In dealing with such problems, both cognition and methods are more practical. This is also one of the reasons why I do not reject cyberball, and I am willing to explain the ins and outs of the matter to John Bull.

I don’t know much about John Bull himself, but I don’t know much about cyberball than the cyberball members of this world.

Sure enough, John Bull smiled bitterly as expected, and said: "I understand,'hand it over' to me. These circumstances are also under consideration when forming this team. This action was originally a one-time operation. Taking risks, we have to face more external problems than our own internal problems. However, I want to confirm, is Mr. Gao Chuan still planning to participate in the operation? Will he cooperate with the large forces?"

"Yes, even though there are various ideological differences and conflicts between us, I also feel that this should not be the reason for us to stop. My idea is simple. I will deal with the Asian issues. , The large army is responsible for the problems in other places, just like the situation outside." I said.

"I think so too." John Bull nodded without hesitation, and said, "Then, if you need the support of a large force, I hope Mr. Gaochuan can put aside the ideological problem and apply for assistance. In In this repeater world, we are the only companions who can trust each other. We have to face a lot of troubles, and we need to work together to overcome difficulties. I think they think so too."

"Then please, John Bull." I know that if John Bull conducts the public relations, the relationship between me and the army will also be eased. Although John Bull is only a captain, he comes from the network ball, and the weight of the network ball is enough to be her backing. In contrast, although the other Whisperer I belong to is also one of the permanent directors, but due to various factors, there is some estrangement from the headquartered in London, Europe. Moreover, although I am also Gao Chuan, I have a relationship with another Gao Chuan. Something is different, and the advantages he possesses will be weakened to the limit in my case.

I know that in the eyes of everyone who knows the name "Gaochuan", I and the other me are far from being compared. Maybe they will guess the relationship between me and the other me, but it is made by guessing. His conclusion will definitely be more biased towards the other me-after all, he is the body in this doomsday illusion, and I am just an accident.

I don’t have any negative thoughts about this difference in consciousness. My disagreement with the other one lies in the core idea that determines the direction of action, but for the essence of will, there is no difference. Therefore, he is Gao Chuan, and I am also Gao Chuan. There is no such thing as another thing.

"I didn't expect so many problems with the plan after just being separated for a while." John Bull sighed, "Fortunately, this level of trouble is still in the original expectation."

"It seems that the cyberball has already been mentally prepared." I smiled. The prediction that John Bull said is naturally the prediction of the cyberball, and then the prediction. At this point, I am absolutely You can't'get it' wrong.

John Bull laughed and said nothing.

"I'm very curious, how did you find my clues?" I picked up my mind, turned back to the topic and asked: "Did you take my Demon Summoning program disk? Is this your idea, or Don’t have inside story?"

John Newton had a distressed expression on his face, scratching his hair, and said: "Mr. Gaochuan, you are really direct."

"Because I don’t need to be euphemistic, I don’t really need the Demon Summoning Program. However, as you know, the origins of the Demon Summoning Program are very problematic. "In the dark." I said calmly: "Perhaps, our enemies expect us to ignore these details because of emotional problems, and they will eventually be'tricked' in the palm of their palms. To be honest, I think the Demon Summoning program itself is in this way. As part of the security mechanism of the relay world, our mystery may be exploited by the Nazis."

I explained one by one the reasoning and conjecture I made not long ago. I am very calm in my heart, and I also try to make John Bull feel this kind of honesty--I need everyone's help. If I bury all the questions and information in my heart, I will definitely create a gap with other people, and this gap will grow bigger and bigger over time, I don’t want things to be like that, because that’s for everyone. There is no benefit.

Regardless of what the other person thinks, I always feel that being honest is the best part of my own'sex' personality. Moreover, in the psychological methods I know, let the other person feel their honesty, and then accept this. This kind of frankness is a prerequisite for all cooperation to start and gradually deepen-not only in psychotherapy, but also in social'communication'.

I don’t expect others’ frankness and ‘friendship’, but I have always asked myself to try my best to be such a person first, who can win the trust of others and be trusted by others.

Yes, this is also a prerequisite that all heroes must have. In my mind, a true hero is first and foremost a frankness, and he has someone who can carry this frankness and all the troubles caused by this frankness.

I have been unable to become a hero in the full sense of the word, and there have been many instances of insincerity. External pressure has always existed, and I cannot psychologically bear the bad results that can be brought about by being completely honest. It means that I don't have that kind of aura and strength. Realizing this made me feel frustrated for a while, and then I further understood how idealized the hero in my mind is—in fact, it was originally idealized, otherwise it would not be a dream, I think, the past I just stubbornly believe that I can achieve it.

Yes, now I know that I can’t do it. Even the original self, who has been trying hard to move towards the path of a hero for all mankind, has never done it. At that time, I was very firm, but did a lot of ridiculous things, making myself want to bury my head in the ground when I am thinking about it now. But this does not mean that I want to become more vulgar. At least, I can become a hero for a few people. I also know that what I shoulder is not just my own life.

Even if you can only be a hero for a few people, I think that honesty is also very important. It can even be said that it should be one of the cores of all thinking and actions.

I know that I can’t be completely honest, but as a person who has some understanding of psychology, I can adjust myself step by step and move towards that ideal state. I know my despicableness, naivety, and cruelty. I know that there are all sorts of out-of-date and universal ideas in my thinking. I know that I am a patient with a "spiritual" spirit. Ordinary people have a more serious contradiction in'sex'. However, it is precisely because I know these things, instead of taking them for granted and treating them as the ultimate truth like other ‘spiritual’ patients, that’s why I am sure that I can move on.

Because of thinking, I know that I have too many unknowns. Because of thinking, I know what impact the actions I take when I explore these unknowns. Because of thinking, I know that my current self will always I have more cognition than my past self, and my future self will have more cognition than my current self. These extra parts prove that I have been growing up all the time. And as long as you are still growing, and your goals have been firm, you will eventually turn yourself into the way you are in your mind.

I sometimes feel that if it is not that time is running out, maybe this is the real way to defeat the "virus"~IndoMTL.com~ Even though there is not much time now, the "virus" is constantly active, and I need to bet on a miracle , But still feel that this kind of deepening of self-awareness is very necessary.

I am not afraid that I will become someone else. Even if I have died and split from another Gaochuan, I have also been to the hospital. The reality is that I am still not sure whether it is in an absolute sense. The "reality". These peculiar encounters have made me "confuse", but when I ask myself a little bit and look for the hero in my heart, I know that I am still Gao Chuan, no matter what the situation is, even with another Oneself once again becomes one, and it will not change.

This confidence allows me to calmly look at John Bull, calmly tell her about the adverse effects that I have caused, and my doubts about their arrival this time. Because these facts and emotions do not have the need to conceal in my heart, they are actual facts, and maybe I and others need to face facts. I also believe that as long as you let the other party know your frankness, not a questioning, it will definitely be more conducive to the solution of the problem than concealing these thoughts and acting behind the scenes.

If the other party misunderstands or acts contrary to my own expectations, then there is no need to blame the other party, because from the beginning, I was only asking myself to do something, not asking others to do something. . Expectation is not a requirement, and the failure of expectation is never a reason to blame others.