Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 1167: Invisible Friends Three
Dr. Ruan Li said to me this evening something very shocking: She did not see Fu Jiang. Novel.
"Aren't it very lively when everyone is eating together?" I asked back. Although I don't think that Dr. Ruan Li is lying, there must be something strange in this matter. If she really didn't see Fu Jiang, then what does the previous scene of chatting and laughing mean? I know that I am a mental patient, but in terms of pathological analysis, there are some differences between the analysis of Dr. Ruan Li and I. It is this difference that makes me not feel that I am wrong. Because if I am wrong, then my cognition of the whole world will completely collapse, and my own existence will be completely denied. My past constitutes the present me, and denying one's own past is tantamount to denying oneself. This result is no longer a problem of "psychopathy", but involves the birth and death of a personality. However, if I am correct, how can Dr. Ruan Li not be able to see Fu Jiang? I think it can only be explained by "mystery".
Since this world is only a manifestation of consciousness, the "mystery" of consciousness is sufficient to explain any abnormality. However, I also know very well that using unexplainable "mysteries" to explain everything that I can't understand is actually very absurd.
I stopped thinking here, and there was a voice singing in my mind. I don't know what it was saying, but I knew what the voice meant. If I continue to think along these issues, there will be terrible consequences. Let's not mention what will happen to the doomsday illusion, my world, my perception, my personality, which I constructed based on what I saw, heard, and thought. My observation and cognition of the world, as well as the existence of the self as confirmed in this observation and cognition, will collapse.
I am not a person who does not recognize the real person, but the problem is the contradiction implied by Dr. Ruan Li’s abnormality. Does it really reflect reality? Especially when the existence of Dr. Ruan Li remains to be questioned, which one should be believed when there is a conflict between the "reality" she observed and the "reality" I observed? Some problems are beyond doubt. I must believe in my own truth. If I want to find the true truth, I must also believe that the true truth must encompass the truth as I know it. It is not just conflicts and contradictions. I have always had this idea, based on my own reality, to find a greater reality is the right approach.
The impact of Dr. Ruan Li’s words on me was huge, but it was not completely subversive, because despite the world that Dr. Ruan Li saw. It must be different from me, but. There is also no evidence to prove that what she sees is the truth, even if the truth she said may have a more rigorous logic and be sure that it will not be disturbed by "mystery".
"I am sure that everyone has spoken to Fu Jiang." I said to Dr. Ruan Li.
"Okay. Let's take a look at the video." Dr. Ruan Li said, "As you know, I have installed many cameras in this house, which will leave the most authentic images. I hope you are mentally prepared, Achuan . In the past, I have been reluctant to show you too many images because you were still young. I think it will give you too much impact and have a bad influence on your treatment. Moreover, your condition at that time, It’s not as serious as it is now—I’ve always wondered why, after showing signs of improvement, your condition suddenly got worse. What happened to you? During the week that you disappeared, What have you done? I am very upset, A Chuan, I love you, you are my child, I will do my best to save you, I know you don’t believe everything I say, you have your own ideas and Cognitive, try to prove that I am incorrect from the logic of thinking, worldview, and philosophy. But you must know that what you can prove is incorrect, and it cannot prove that everything I tell you is wrong." She stared My calm eyes are brighter than usual, "Yes, you know, even if the conscious repulsion, but the subconscious accepts the result-the result of my own thinking cannot fully prove that Dr. Ruan Li is wrong, that is, it cannot be Falsification. You know, the difference between unverifiable and unfalsified."
As Dr. Nguyen Li said, I know what "cannot be falsified", although for a thing, "cannot be falsified" is a concept, but something that cannot be falsified means In theory, it is possible to use it to speculate more answers, and none of these answers can be rushed to conclude that they are wrong.
I turned my gaze to the computer screen, and Dr. Ruan Li began to play the image of dinner. This image cannot be tampered with in terms of time, place or the image itself. Of course, the premise of "unable to tamper with" does not include "mystery". When this world is recognized as a world composed of repeaters, all things that can be judged by strict logic in a non-mysterious world Everything will essentially have reasons that can be questioned. I don’t want to question everything with this attitude, because doing so means that I can question the authenticity and existence of Dr. Ruan Li in front of me, Sakiya and Bajing who have left, and even all the inevitable existence that constitutes them. nature. In other words, when I question the whole world, what can I believe in this questioned world?
Doctor Ruan Li, Sakuya, and Bajing, these people close to me, the people I love, and my perception of them in the past are different. This difference can be explained by many reasons. However, once the explanation is made by questioning the whole world, the differences they show will become unacceptable.
I stopped thinking. I don't think I can think about it anymore. I know very well that when a person wants to "question the world" from time to time, that person will definitely become a complete lunatic. I am a mental patient. From certain actions, thoughts and thoughts, I do not deny that I am a lunatic, but becoming a lunatic who questioned the world is still somewhat beyond my tolerance.
It’s this kind of resistance that makes me breathe a sigh of relief, because this kind of psychology at least proves that I also know how to live, who I want to be, and my understanding of myself , And did not fall into boundless madness.
Even. At the moment when the video started to be shown, I thought, maybe, I shouldn't be so excited to reject the things shown in the video and what Dr. Ruan Li told me. There must be some kind of explanation that can perfectly reconcile the current contradictions. Because the world, the universe, and the consciousness of human beings are so vast and vast, there are more hidden in the dark than exposed to the known. No one can prove that he is completely correct, and it is by no means completely wrong. And it is this kind of confession that allows the seemingly conflicting cognition between two people to have the possibility of reconciliation, to splice the correctness of each, and filter out the errors of each, and then gain mutual recognition.
When I think about the vastness of the world, the universe, and human consciousness, I can't help but appear in the popular science films I saw when I was a child. That magnificent scene beyond ordinary people's thinking. Many questions are spoken by the commentators of popular science films. Unable to give an answer, but the doubts and reveries reflected in their voices. There are too many "truths" that can prove that people's own cognition is incorrect in that extremely wide and dark zone that exceeds the limit of human imagination.
The image now being screened, Dr. Ruan Li is trying to prove my error. Isn't it similar to the truth like that?
People’s perception is still unable to spell out the absolute truth in the face of self and foreign objects, so whether it is the truth seen by others. The truth that I understand is extremely precious, because the truth that the individual observes, recognizes, and understands is not used to prove that the other party is incorrect, but to find bigger and more correct.
Because, when you have to admit that your understanding and vision are limited, how can you prove that you are absolutely correct? How can one prove that another perspective and point of view that contradicts oneself is completely wrong?
When I thought about this, the emotions that once boiled down really calmed down. Dr. Ruan Li tried to prove that Fu Jiang did not exist, but the incorrectness of this proof did not need to be completed by questioning the world. Because even if Dr. Ruan Li is the most real existence in the entire doomsday illusion, it does not mean that what she sees and the conclusions drawn are the only truth, because Dr. Ruan Li is just a person.
Doctor Ruan Li is just a "human psychologist". This is her limit. A "human psychologist" cannot be completely correct. However, it must also be admitted that what she said, what she saw, what she understood, and what she tried to prove must reflect a certain degree of truthfulness.
So, what I should do is not to resist what she said and try to overturn her proof from a completely opposite perspective, but should be based on what she did, what she thought, and In the evidence she submitted, understand her, analyze her, and find out the truth of what she has.
The video only shows the scene on the dining table, and, indeed, there is no Fu Jiang in the video, and even the utensils she used are not available, and her place is vacant. Moreover, although the empty seat can seat a person, it will appear crowded, and this crowded situation does not exist in my memory of dinner.
"In fact, if someone sits in that empty seat, the people on either side will definitely move a little apart. Perhaps, in your delusion, the empty seat between Zuochuan and Bajing has been enlarged." Dr. Ruan Li I freeze the image and use the adjustment tool to move the positions of Zuochuan and Bajing to the left and right, and then modify the positions of the other people next to them one by one. "Doctor Ruan Li said in a calm tone: "Look, there is only a small amount of distance to adjust to make the vacancy satisfy one more person." And this tiny distance is very easy to construct through imagination. "She gestured. At the dining table, the distance that everyone needs to adjust is less than 20 centimeters at most. Even if you only need to adjust the angle of the chair, it is enough, and observe them from my direction, unless at first Just observe carefully, otherwise, you will not be able to feel this change during eating activities.
"Of course, in a real scene, if a seat cannot be seated by one person, and a place must be made for her, then the movement of changing seats will be very large, and almost everyone will move around, which is easy to observe. "Here." Dr. Ruan Li said: "However, if it is just to satisfy the idea of'one more person participates in the meal' instead of actually vacating a place, then it is easier to achieve-for you, Achuan, This shift is a delusion to prove the meaning of'that person exists'."
Speaking so, she adjusted the image again. Point out each person's eating activities and every action related to the empty space: they are either picking food at that position, or they are talking to Zuochuan and Bajing. Then, the image moved to my point of view and replayed these actions.
"Did you see it? You are only when they are bound to face that position. I just imagined their communication with Fu Jiang." Dr. Ruan Li said, adjusting the angle of the image again, centering on herself in the image. "From this perspective, you can completely confirm that I have never interacted with the vacancy from beginning to end. When I was talking, I would definitely look at the interlocutor, but. From your position at the time, to infer mine There may be misalignment of gaze. Therefore, A Chuan, you are just to prove the existence of Fu Jiang, and you have interpreted my actions and demeanor delusionally. In fact, no one communicated with Fu Jiang at that time."
I didn't speak because... There are no signs of forgery in Dr. Ruan Li’s images, and her interpretation of the images also possesses psychological logic. This image may still not be under all conceivable premises. Prove that Dr. Ruan Li is completely correct. However, let me have to admit one thing: even for Sakiya and Hakjing, Tomie may indeed "non-existent".
"I spoke to Fu Jiang." I said, "If I'm talking to an "invisible friend", why didn't other people have any doubts?"
"It's very simple." Dr. Ruan Li looked at me with pity, and adjusted the image again: "You just think you are talking. Those conversations and interactions are all done in your mind. In reality, You didn’t do anything. Your memory is very good. You should be able to record your interactions with Tomie based on the conversation time between Sakiya and Hakkei? Then, you can take a look. During that time period, you really Did you talk to Fu Jiang?"
The answer given by the video is: No.
There were many impressive moments in the dinner, but based on those moments, the time recorded in the impressions, the time when I communicated with Fu Jiang, was included in the video, but I was alone in a daze. It's like thinking about something and getting absorbed.
"A Chuan, Fu Jiang is an invisible friend." After being silent for a while, Dr. Ruan Li said to me again, "You said to me that Fu Jiang and Zuo Chuan live together, and the landlord has formalized To renew the lease. Do I need to ask the landlord?"
I am silent.
"Remember? Although you said that Zuo Chuan and Fu Jiang had known each other a long time ago, in fact Zuo Chuan came here first, and Fu Jiang, in your impression, moved into Zuo Jiang's rental house later Since Fujiang does not exist, there must be an opportunity to link Fujiang and Zuochuan. Although it is a delusional interpersonal relationship, for you, this interpersonal relationship is still necessary. To a certain extent, it is logical, and the situation of abruptly linking one person to another that appears inexplicably cannot appear in your delusion. So, I guess, in what you think exists, Fu Jiang moved into the left. Before Chuan rented a house, Zuo Chuan was actually having **** with another person, and that person was a woman, and that woman, in your impression, had contact with Fu Jiang. It is precisely because Fu Jiang is a non-existent person, and previously with The woman of Zuo Chuan** left and became a non-existent person. Whether there is a connection between two non-existent people does not need to be proved. Therefore, they can be related or not. And in order to satisfy Fu Jiang’s existence, you will subconsciously believe that they have a relationship, and then develop to have a relationship with Zuojiang." Dr. Ruan Li paused and said, "I believe that you can find the previous co-tenant of Zuochuan." /
"Yes. Because they are members of a mysterious organization and cooperate in some actions." I replied.
The reaction of Dr. Ruan Li was also expected, she looked at me with a sad look. For Dr. Ruan Li, all kinds of doomsday and mysterious organizations do not exist. There are "things that cannot be explained by science" in this world, but there is no "completely unexplainable mystery." This world is not a mere repeater world, but the basis of her cognition of her own existence. It is a real world that is neither illusory nor ideological. And the "mysterious" stupidity I have to put forward can only be an abnormal and incorrect worldview constructed by a mental illness.
In the eyes of Dr. Ruan Li, I used an "unrealistic reason" to prove that a "thing that does not exist" is really a sad situation-only mental patients would do this. She did not refute my absurdity further, and I also know why she discontinued this topic, because in many cases, she continued to tell mental patients "the reality is not like this", and then used logic and evidence to emphasize the other person's " "Abnormal" and "incorrect", in most cases, will only worsen the other's illness, and even cause the other's mental breakdown. And I have already understood why those mental patients would collapse in this situation, because their perception of themselves and their personality are based on the fact that their delusions are true. Once this foundation is dismantled, the impact will be beyond the imagination of normal people, because normal people simply cannot imagine what they will become when everything that constitutes them is judged to be false. Maybe I have imagined, try my best to infer the consequences, understand the impact from the theory and the mental patient’s situation, but I haven’t experienced it personally, and can only be described by words, and all the heavy things are described by words. After that, the heaviness that can be retained by the language is only a fraction of the original, or a fraction of the original.
Everything presented by language will make people feel light. People cannot simply rely on assuming that they are in such a situation to understand everything they have to face when they are truly out of that situation, because human cognition is limited.
Therefore, any conclusions you can get from a situation where "everything that constitutes oneself is judged to be false" only through thinking, rather than relying on experience, is far from being able to match the real situation. However, who would take the initiative to feel that "when everything that constitutes oneself is judged to be false"? Even, he would never agree that "everything that constitutes oneself is false" from the bottom of my heart.
Dr. Ruan Li’s views on me and the explanations of the abnormalities involving me are also based on this standpoint. She would not think that "everything that constitutes herself is false." Then, what is false is only me who is different from her perception.
I am a mental patient, so she is the real existence-saying this seems to be ironic and ironic, but in fact, this is not such a flamboyant situation at all, but the reality that I have to face.
If ~IndoMTL.com~ I am correct and true, Fu Jiang is also there without any doubt, then, what is the other side of "I am a mental patient and Fu Jiang does not exist" in various ways? Woolen cloth?
All the people and things in this repeater world are more worth thinking about than their ideological existence, and their philosophical existence.
I will not deny Dr. Ruan Li, nor will I look for evidence to prove that Dr. Ruan Li is wrong. I accept Dr. Ruan Li’s view of me and Fu Jiang’s view, and accept her own perspective I also accept her sad and heavy gaze when she is looking at me. Because, Dr. Ruan Li did nothing wrong, she just expressed her love for me based on her stand and perspective. Perhaps this love is heavy, and the result of it has negated everything I have done so far.
It doesn't matter, as long as there is love, it doesn't matter.
Thinking about this, I said to Dr. Ruan Li who looked at me sadly: "Don't be sad, Mom, everything will be fine."
Yes, everything will be fine, because everything will have an end, and it is moving towards the end. Regardless of the end, who is proved to be wrong, it is impossible to obliterate the love that was born from this error. (To be continued...)