Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 1184: Dark Hugs

Whether Marceau’s anomaly is the function of the Mysterious Seed, to understand this matter, we must find a second experimenter besides Zuochuan. We now have two people who can complete this experiment. -Female foreman and female teacher. ?Top? Point? Novel ww I originally hoped that they could get rid of the erosion of the Mysterious Seed, but firstly, I really didn't have a clue, and secondly, I couldn't be sure that I could find other Mysterious Seeds, so the two were selected. It seems inevitable for the experimenter. I once again felt the existence of the "script", just as I had many choices, but under the interaction of various factors, I still made this decision. The female foremen and female teachers fell into my hands, as if they were being led by a certain destiny. I can’t say that all of these were calculated by Father Edward, but, obviously, Father Edward’s actions played a role in threading the needle. effect. But even so, it can be said that Father Edward's own thoughts and actions were not driven by a greater wave of fate? Has his actions escaped the "script"?

Of course not. It is precisely because this is a doomsday illusion, not heaven, so all that Father Edward does for the doomsday truth is free to play within the scope of the "script". Even if he deliberately planted the mysterious seeds for Zuo Chuan, Marceau, female foreman and female teacher, he deliberately let me discover the connection among them, and follow this clue to act, which seems to lead the direction of the plot, but it is still It's just playing his own role.

I actually don't have much choice. If I want to know Marceau's situation, I have to do something that is in line with the calculations of others and the plan of the "script". I can observe everything that is happening in the "Doomsday Fantasy" from the perspective of the "Hospital Reality". However, unless I can be indifferent to everything that is happening in the "Doomsday Fantasy", it is my choice. It is always impossible to escape from one's own role. When I exist in the "doomsday illusion" and treat all of this with all my heart and soul, I will still be a person in this world. In a sense, even if I returned to the "hospital reality", I never gave up my role in the "doomsday fantasy".

I can observe and understand the "doomsday fantasy" from the perspective of "hospital reality", but. But it is impossible to be completely at the angle of one side to observe the other side. Therefore, I can do nothing about the "script". Others cannot see the existence of the "script", but are playing their own role. I know that the "script" exists, but out of my own will, I have to play my own role in the "script". Therefore, I am no different from others.

I am not kind at all, and I don't have the power to be kind. I want to save more people, just like female foremen and female teachers, so that they can live according to their own ideas, but cannot prevent the spiritual erosion of the mysterious seed. Perhaps, at the end of the spiritual erosion, their completely transformed ideas can be implemented through actions, at that time. They really "live and fight according to their own ideas", but at that time. I had to kill them. And before their future becomes like that, before they have a choice, I have to decide their choice, and this is only to observe another person who has nothing to do with them. Yes, even if I found a clue from the two. Determining that Marceau's anomaly was indeed, or indeed not, the function of the Seed of Mystery, still could not solve this problem.

I am deeply saddened by the experience of the female foreman and female teacher. And it was their lack of choice that made me see my lack of choice. I decide their future, and who decides my future? But even if I feel the same about their experience, even if I feel like a puppet, I can't be cruel and ignore Marceau in this world.

I love all of them, whether in the doomsday illusion of the past, or the doomsday illusion of the present, as well as the reality of the hospital and the world of this repeater. Even in the end, I will ruin them in the world, and even themselves, I still love them, and everything I do is just trying to save them from a higher angle-this reason is so sad , I will definitely denounce the other person as mental illness.

Yes, when I decided to do this, I was already enlightened. This is almost like a joke, I am the clown who knows this is a joke but wants to perform with tears. My heart is full of pain, but I still have to smile and tell other people, if I hurt you, it's because I love you so much. I can foresee that when this world falls to the end, when Sakiya, Hachijing, and Marceau in this world have witnessed the end, experienced the end, and know that based on the world of their own existence, to understand the source of the end, you may feel deceived. Very painful. Perhaps, they living in this world can't understand the situation and reasoning on which my "salvation" is based, because, besides the mental patient, who would believe that the world they live in is just some kind of mysterious "virus" "What about the illusory things created? After all, they themselves, and the others who live here like them, are so real.

However, I gathered them for just reasons such as "saving the world" and "protecting people".

Just as they won't believe the story I wrote based on their own experience, they can only look at me from the perspective of a "mental patient". If they cannot understand and accept it, they will feel pain because of the close relationship with me, and feel guilty for the pain others have caused because of me. Maybe one day, they will decide to stop me and stand on the opposite side of me. I foresee the possibility, knowing that I will inevitably feel pain because of this development, but I still will not stop my footsteps, so this is enlightenment.

I have the consciousness to carry all this.

So, I can abandon my pity and kindness to anyone and implement my own plan. Just like, I can abandon the female foreman and female teacher just to clarify the situation of Marceau and let them become experimental subjects. I may be able to use another method. For example, I can find Father Edward along the way and listen to the explanation from him. However, I don't trust Father Edward, nor can I trust the "facts" from his mouth.

"We can replant one of them with the Seed of Mystery." Zuo Chuan suggested, with a calm and decisive tone, which even showed her ruthlessness. Zuo Chuan was not a sentimental and just person. She was originally a human weapon born for war. "Look at the people who have the mysterious seed and the people who have been taken out of the mysterious seed. After becoming an electronic demon user, she will have What kind of difference will make it clearer how strong the influence of the Mysterious Seed is."

"Are you worried about the mysterious seed in your body? Zuo Chuan." I couldn't help asking.

"Of course not." Zuo Chuan replied with a natural expression, but randomly fell into thought, "I don't know why I am not worried, but. There is indeed no such emotion, and I don't feel my own situation, and this The situation of the two women can be generalized."

"Isn't it possible to prove that I am different from them, just take it for granted that I am different from them?" I understood Zuo Chuan's situation.

"Yes, even if the mysterious seeds are also implanted, even if they come into contact with electronic demons, they will have a situation similar to me and that Marceau, I still feel that I am special." Zuo Chuan The eyes that stared at me were unwavering, "Believe in my own feelings and in my own uniqueness. This is what I learned from my master."

"Of course you are special. Because your mystery and distinctiveness are not simply the result of the effects of the mysterious seeds." Because it is the most decisive to truly make the Zuochuan of the past become the Zuochuan of the present. s things. It lies in the erosion of "Jiang". She is the same as Jiang Chuan who has disappeared. Perhaps her existence stems from Dorothy's adjustment of the "script". However, "Jiang" is a more basic and lower-level existence than "script". Whether it is Dorothy or the Seed of Mystery, the influence on Zuo Chuan is absolutely impossible to exceed the influence of "Jiang".

"Jiang" is so special, and Zuochuan was eroded by it. It is of course special. In terms of particularity, Zuo Chuan is indeed closer to Marceau. From an experimental point of view, the most suitable is the second experimental subject of Zuo Chuan's degree, but Zuo Chuan's particularity. It is not so easy to copy, so I can only look forward to female foremen and female teachers.

I took a mysterious seed from my pocket and decided to implant it in the female teacher's body. The religious beliefs of the female foreman should be regarded as a higher degree of compatibility between her and the mysterious seed. Therefore, even after the mysterious seed is taken out, the traces left by the mysterious seed are relatively clearer. In this way, she can It is better to determine the changes in her life after exposure to electronic demons. In this repeater world, since the belief in the truth of the end has been circulating, there must be more people like the female foreman. These people are the seeds of believers who are closer to the doomsday truth sect than ordinary people. Confirming the situation of the female foreman is equivalent to determining the situation of the future Doomsday Shinrikyo in this repeater world. I think it is impossible for this group of people not to touch the electronic demons at all in the mysterious spreading now.

After the female teacher is replanted with the mysterious seed, she is also representative. What she represents is the ordinary people who are implanted with the mysterious seed after the mysterious seed has spread. Whether they first contact the electronic demon summoning system or the mysterious seed first, when they possess the mystery brought by one of them, they will inevitably contact the other. The two exist in the same ordinary person at the same time, and what will happen in the end can be seen in the female teacher.

Compared between the two, the erosive nature of the Seed of Mystery is naturally more serious in the female foreman.

The materialized mystery seed is not as secretive as it was when it was in ideology. The whole looks more like an inorganic substance. I placed it on the forehead of the female teacher, and it turned into a pool of liquid and penetrated into the pores. After accepting the Mysterious Seed again, the female teacher did not show any abnormal state, but some tight brows gradually unfolded, and the damage caused when the Mysterious Seed was taken out seemed to have been repaired by replanting it. Zuo Chuan looked at her with something strange.

"How is it different from mine?" she asked.

"It's no different." I replied, "It's just that during the whole process, you are more sober, and you immediately gain mysterious power. However, this one is just an ordinary person."

"For a long time, I have never felt that my body is different from ordinary people." Zuo Chuan thought for a while and said, "Perhaps, better physique, faster absorption of knowledge, and sharper senses, but, Compared with normal people, there is no qualitative change."

"Although it's a human being, it's still a human being, isn't it?" I replied.

"No, various experimental data prove that artificial life like ours has defects in personality." Zuo Chuan thought for a while, but when he said it. But it didn’t generate any emotions at all. It’s like expounding an irrelevant thing, "In the beginning, the perfect warrior plan was not based on human beings. However, because of its personality defects, it did not manifest itself in the essence of life. It’s a huge difference from normal people, so it’s considered a failed product.” Even when she claimed to be a “failed product,” her eyes were still so peaceful that it couldn’t make people think whether she had ever hoped that she More like humans.

"Do you want to be like ordinary people?" I couldn't help asking.

"No. Not at all." Zuo Chuan said calmly: "I was born with a mission, which is incredible. I was not born to be an ordinary person, and I never thought of becoming An ordinary person. However, when the data proves that although I am stronger than ordinary people, but there is no essential change, I may be disappointed in my heart."

"So. You don't resist being a mercenary?" I asked back.

"Yes. I don't resist, and I don't think there is anything wrong. I accept that kind of life. Then, now I have a life in line with my mission, which is actually a surprise." Zuo Chuan's The look in his eyes fluctuates, I think it may be joy, I'm not sure. However, I think that if the changes today are what Zuochuan needs and hopes. Then I will definitely feel happy.

"Do you know? Actually, it doesn't mean that you are what you are now. It doesn't mean a good thing. You have paid what you don't know." I think of the erosion of "Jiang", Dorothy's words and Jiang Chuan's disappearance . Zuo Chuan's existence and development are not without cost. They were born with a certain mission, and they will inevitably step into this established destiny. With Jiang Chuan's precedent, I can't even be sure when Zuo Chuan will disappear from me and become another trap against "Jiang". Things become like that, what else can they do besides disappearing?

From the involuntary involuntary of many people, I saw that I was involuntarily involuntarily. I also saw my own struggle from the struggle of many people. As a result, in the expectations of many people, they have gained their own beliefs. When I got Zuo Chuan and Jiang Chuan, I also saw myself in them. Therefore, no matter what unsatisfactory things happen, I have never blamed them, even if Jiang Chuan has proved by himself that they cannot completely stand on my side, and this is not determined by their own wishes. Their birth stems from Dorothy's will, and their destiny is also under the control of color. Because of this, it is possible to become a trap against "Jiang".

And me? Wasn't it also because of "Jiang"'s will that it recovered? I couldn't help but think so, so now I am standing on the opposite side of the relationship between **** and Dorothy. Although it is unsatisfactory, it is also an inevitable cause and effect. The world is very wonderful, and life is always not what we initially expected. I have used my pain to deeply realize this.

"It's okay, since I don't know it, it can be regarded as something I never had. Isn't it great to lose something I never had in exchange for the life I hope for?" Left Chuan said disapprovingly. I looked at her like this, as if I had seen myself in the past. I used to think that, but what I have never realized does not mean I don't own it, because it doesn't work because it is "not aware". How can a person be complete? What I lost unconsciously, those things I never realized, may not be so cheap.

However, since it has been lost, it is a good thing to think like Zuo Chuan. At least, she won't feel pain for losing those things. The so-called "pain" is after all a spiritual product. Happy because of ignorance, and suffering because of knowing. Perhaps some people would rather know in pain and praise such will. However, it does not mean that the former must be really bad.

Human individuals, although closely related to each other, are not completely connected. It is impossible for a person to discover everything about another person. Many people think this is not a good thing, but they cannot prove that it is really not a good thing. Without knowing all of others, it is impossible to make decisions for the spiritual world of others. The so-called "good" or "bad" can only be understood when it is only aimed at the individual.

Zuo Chuan serves me, but she also has a side that I don't know. Even when she showed a happy appearance, no matter how I observed it with psychology, she didn't think it was false. I can really be sure, is she really as happy as this? Therefore, she said that it is a great choice to use what she has given in exchange for the current life. I can't know if she really feels that way. I just hope that she really feels so.

"Make a report on what happened today and send it to John Bull." I shifted this heavy topic and said to her.

"Master, won't you stay tonight?" Zuo Chuan looked at me with longing eyes. Her words are full of sexual hints, but I read other desires from her eyes. maybe. For her, the in-depth and close communication between men and women is not only physical pleasure, but also sensory enjoyment. I don't know, I don't know anything, but Zuo Chuan is so eager, so. I will not refuse. I got a lot from her. I also hope that she can get more from me. No matter what she wants. Because, I don't know what she wants or what she thinks deep in her heart. So, I just hope she can get it by herself.

The night is deep, and people's moods will also be infected by this night and become deeper than any moment. I actually don't like this deep feeling. Hugging Zuo Chuan, feeling her body, feeling the tight curve and temperature, and falling asleep without thinking after doing her best. This is the best moment of this night.

I feel like I’m falling. This feeling is too familiar to generate too many emotions. Because of the endless feeling of falling and the endless darkness, a kind of fear that envelops the whole body When the feeling came, I didn't have any more thoughts because I was too familiar. All the guesses have been listed in my mind countless times, and it turns out that these guesses never seem to be proven, because I can't get in touch with things that bring fear in a direct and essential way. I am just a human mental patient, and the limitation of life forms makes it impossible for me to understand what it is even when I am the closest to it.

The only thing I can be sure of is that, first of all, it is definitely not a human form, and it is definitely not a human being. Fujiang and others are it, but it is not them. It can only be felt, and it also produces phenomena, but what is observed backwards from the phenomenon is not the real it. Perhaps, when stripping off all senses, you can know that it is in your own body. Only spirit and feeling can be the closest distance to human beings. But even so, the outline revealed by these idealistic, ethereal ways , And it's still not the real it. That is free from all the fog, where the most essential thing is, and in what way, this question may not be answered by human beings.

Said it is a "virus", but it is definitely not a "virus" in the normal sense.

Probably, all the concepts that humans describe themselves have no meaning to it.

So, am I unique in the eyes of it like this? I don't know, I can only believe that this is the case, even if I can't give the slightest reason.

As if ~IndoMTL.com~ This darkness is also a manifestation of it, not as originally thought, it is at the bottom of this dark abyss, but when I fell into this darkness, it was already Is in its embrace. The endless darkness, the incomprehensible situation, brings endless reverie and fear, but it is also warm.

I think it is the existence that best fits the description of "god" in the occult, and for patients with doomsday syndrome, for the doomsday illusion, it is probably really a god.

Humans cannot understand gods. This is an absolute concept. If someone thinks they understand gods, please look back at the first sentence. On the other hand, gods that can be understood by people are not gods. Therefore, I can't understand it, why, I will become the special one, not the other person. However, this is definitely not a reason to doubt that I am a special one.

If I don’t even have this belief, then everything I have done so far is just a joke. Therefore, no matter what others say, even if they say that I am wrong, I must believe that I am right, even if I am wiped out because of it.

I fell and felt that I was embraced by it. In this endless darkness, silence and fall, my heart finds peace. (To be continued...)