Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 1485: Window sill
I remember everything that happened to me. ▼●◆▲
In the battle of sniping the alienated Youjiang, I was defeated in the walking of consciousness. When I woke up again, I was already in the operating room.
When I saw Dr. Ruan Li again, the impression she gave me was faintly different from what I felt after being separated from him, and the imagination brought to me by the changes in the peninsula afterwards.
I think I can find this difference and sort out the reasons behind it.
"Am I sick?" I sorted everything out from the perspective of "sickness", using Dr. Ruan Li's most common logic, to imagine the meaning of my condition from her perspective. All my thoughts and impressions of Dr. Ruan Li are based on what I have personally experienced, seen, and contacted information. However, in the eyes of Dr. Ruan Li, there are probably many mistakes and omissions in this information. An illusion.
It doesn’t matter whether I admit that it’s an illusion or not. What’s important is what Dr. Ruan Li can see, what she has been in contact with, and what she can see, experience, touch and feel about herself Is based on how a logical way of thinking is integrated.
Since a long time ago, I have known that the world in Dr. Ruan Li’s eyes is completely different from the world in my eyes.
Perhaps, in some cases, we have all seen the same phenomenon, but there are obvious differences in understanding of these phenomena.
"Yes, I'm sick." Dr. Ruan Li said so, and seemed to have a headache. "It's not your fault. I underestimated the influence of White Claudia. Although the medicinal properties of the paradise had an effect at one time, But it further stimulates your mind and body, and brings about new changes in your condition."
"That means?" I followed her question. ◆
"In other words, your condition has not deteriorated, but it is somewhat different from before. And I can't find a solution here for the time being." Dr. Ruan Li replied solemnly.
I was silent for a few seconds and imagined the premise that Dr. Ruan Li would say such things.
Obviously, everything I have encountered before. Perhaps a large part of it, in the eyes of Dr. Ruan Li, does not exist, but is a serious hallucination. It is an overreaction in hallucinations.
I don’t know how much of what’s happening on the peninsula is “non-existent” for Dr. Ruan Li. Because, in my personal experience. All those are "facts" that are being born, not "illusions" caused by illness.
"I don't know where to start." I said.
Doctor Ruan Li nodded calmly and replied: "I know you will be like this. I have long been used to it. I can't distinguish between hallucinations and reality. It was originally the most common condition. This time, the condition has changed due to the effects of the new medicine. , You have to be prepared, A Chuan.” As she said, she opened the drawer on the side and handed over a patient suit.
I unplugged the needle from my body. Dressed neatly, he left the operating room with her. As I thought, the operating room is underground. We walked ten meters along the upward spiral staircase, and we completely escaped from the atmosphere surrounded by high-tech equipment and entered a small house with ordinary decoration and no highlights. Looking out from the window inside the house, I can't see any scenery, only the darkness surrounded by the night, the darkness is so rich. I can't see the outline of anything, just like the whole world, only the small house where we are left.
"What did you see?" Doctor Ruan Li's voice sounded from behind, suddenly making me feel frightened. It was as if I had never noticed her approach, and the moment I looked outside, I had forgotten that she was here. ▼●◆▲I don't know what's going on, but my heart beats with horror.
Her voice is like a ghost, but. As a mystery expert, I haven't been surprised by ghosts and monsters for a long time.
I am also a little surprised at how sensitive I am at this time.
I felt very clearly that a chill was forming on my back.
"I didn't see anything, it was pitch black outside." I couldn't help telling the truth.
With the help of the light in the room, I looked at the reflection on the glass. Dr. Ruan Li's voice was in my ears, but the glass reflected the outline of the utensils in the room, but there was no human-shaped shadow. I turned my head vigorously, but saw that Dr. Ruan Li was indeed standing nearby, and there was a dressing mirror behind her, and her real figure was also reflected in the mirror. However, there is still a kind of absurdity in my heart. Mysterious emotions emerge-Dr. Ruan Li is in the mirror, but there is no me.
I seemed to be in a daze. I felt that I was awake again in an instant. I don't know when, I have left the window and deviated from the mirror. I only saw Dr. Ruan Li standing in front of the window sill where I was originally, staring at the scenery outside. His expression made me feel that there was something outside—however, I saw from here that there was still nothing outside. The darkness.
I heard her say: "Achuan, do you remember what we experienced before we separated?"
Of course I remember that we encountered the four-billion-dollar Kayako and witnessed her four billion black water encircling the peninsula. The sacrifice of four billion people made Dr. Ruan Li feel angry and desperate. The huge and complex emotions made the arrival of the end clearer and also activated her more determined will. A series of further experiments on the "paradise" must be passed. To find a way of revenge. After we parted, her whereabouts were unknown, and just after she left, the entire peninsula was almost completely razed to the ground in the fierce battle that followed. ■▼■●.ww.■ Just from the desolate situation, if the laboratory is not placed underground, I don't think ordinary people have a chance to survive.
Although in my heart, I firmly believe that Dr. Ruan Li will not be affected by this terrible battle and die, but I cannot imagine how she can guarantee her survival and experiment in such a cruel environment.
However, she is right in front of her at this moment, and only that, I don't think it is an illusion. Even just now, I experienced another mysterious experience.
If I exist in this room, and Dr. Ruan Li who is talking to me also exists, then all the "non-existence" I see and feel can only be an illusion.
My heart beat sharply for a while, but it returned to calm, but the strange smell that permeated this room and quietly penetrated into the conversation between me and her, but it lingered no matter what.
"A huge amount of black water surrounded the entire peninsula, and a woman named Sitianyuan Jiacoco...like a ghost." I simply answered Dr. Ruan Li's question.
"In your eyes at the time. How did you feel about me at the time?" Dr. Ruan Li turned his face to look at her question, the look in her eyes, the half of her face illuminated by the light. And the other half of the face that I couldn't see, the combination only made my throat tighter.
"You are very angry. You swear to defeat that woman and use the paradise to crack the black water." I think my voice is a bit difficult, but this is not a difficult question to answer.
Doctor Ruan Li paused. Said to me: "Your symptoms began at that time, but I didn't notice it at that time."
"What?" I had a vague hunch, as if I knew what Dr. Ruan Li meant. ⊥net,
"Heishui, woman, what we see is the same, but your feelings..." Dr. Ruan Li seemed to be thinking about it. How can I make the explanation simpler: "What you see and feel is a little bit different from the real situation. This deviation did not cause your misunderstanding, but is the basis for a series of errors that follow."
"Wrong?" The more she said that, the less I understood it was, where I was wrong, or where I started, what I saw was an illusion—because. From the perspective of Dr. Ruan Li, the "illusion" is a real thing to me.
"It may be wrong, but it is also not correct." Dr. Ruan Li shook his head and said, "It is just that there is a deviation in perception. The accumulation of these deviations will make the world you and I see completely different."
"I understand that, mother." I said.
"Now there is an example: You said, there is nothing outside the house, it's pitch black." Dr. Ruan Li's words contained deep meaning.
"Isn't that true? Mom. What's outside the house?" I couldn't help squeezing my fingers, and asked with a hint of nervousness for some reason.
Doctor Ruan Li opened his mouth and said something. I didn't hear clearly. I felt that I was in a trance again. When I tried to wake myself up, I was already standing in front of the window sill again, and Dr. Ruan Li's voice came from the back side close at hand. It makes me feel that my position with her has not changed as before. However, the reflection on the glass showed the outline of Doctor Ruan Li.
Suddenly, thunder bursts out of the window, like a sword smashing into the dark, tearing apart the darkness of nothing like a silk. Under the meandering, purple-red thunder snake, there is a scene that suddenly lights up-gloomy and thick black clouds, heavy rain in an uproar, stagnant water flowing like a stream, shattered trees and flowers, and covered in dirty mud. There is only a vaguely contoured road left-all squeezed into my eyes in this shining room.
Although there are many differences from the scenes I have seen in the past, the only familiarity makes me intuitively understand that I am still on the peninsula. The place where this house is located is somewhere on the peninsula. However, after the fierce battle with the Moon God and Alien Youjiang, this kind of scenery should no longer exist. Even if there are remnants, it should be extremely remote, close to the periphery of the peninsula, but not submerged by black water. However, in the short time since Dr. Ruan Li and I broke up, how did she cross such a long distance? And how did I come to this place after I was hit hard by the alienated Youjiang consciousness walking?
In my cognition, I would wake up on the operating table, I would see Dr. Ruan Li on such occasions, I would be in this room, I would see the same thing outside the window, in a storm The scenery on the peninsula is extremely unbelievable.
The scenery outside the window only appeared for a moment when the lightning burst, and then was swallowed in the darkness. The darkness obscured all the vitality, as if what I had seen before was the real illusion.
I opened my eyes wide, but I can't see anything anymore.
"This is White Claudia's...I have investigated a lot of information, and all...The hallucinations the patient sees will make him feel like he is on the scene..." Dr. Ruan Li's voice came intermittently. What I heard was not complete, but I roughly understood what she meant. The basis of Dr. Ruan Li's judgment on these weirdness is still based on the scientific level that she knows, and the core is still "White Claudia."
And what I have seen and felt is still the result of "illness".
I shook my head vigorously, trying to throw these complicated things out of my mind. For me, it is not particularly important what the differences between me and her are, what kind of principle they are based on, or in other words, what the essential meaning of these differences are. Because, even if I completely accept what Dr. Ruan Li said, it will not have any positive effect on my "condition".
I think that Dr. Ruan Li said this to me, trying to reverse my judgment of "illusion" and "real", but she has always been my psychiatrist habit. As she said, she tried to "cure" me, but never really succeeded. It's not that I don't cooperate. The bigger reason lies in the severity of the disease, the mechanism of the disease, and the unpredictable deterioration.
If she attributed all her failures to White Claudia, then I don’t think she can do anything about it until she fully understands White Claudia.
What I want to know most is just what stage of her experiment of "Paradise" has reached, no matter how different the world is in our eyes. She, like me, saw Heishui and Sitianyuan Gaya Coconut. This cannot be changed. In her words, she was also infected by White Claudia at this time, but the condition was not like me. It's so serious.
The paradise, Heishui, and Sitianyuan Gaya Coconut are our connection points and the place where our observations cross.
This thought made me calm again~IndoMTL.com~ I came to open the window and sat down on a chair, and Dr. Ruan Li was also sitting opposite. I looked at her at each other, and the situation suddenly gave me a sense of sight, as if it were very common in the past. I am like a patient waiting for a diagnosis by a psychologist.
In my eyes, only the small circle where I sit opposite her is bright, as if there are two spotlights shining on us. The interior scenes outside the house were all dimmed and blurred.
"The erosion of White Claudia can give people hallucinations, but these hallucinations have a complex reality basis. They are the information that the individual has, the information that the individual receives in real time, and the interaction between people. Information, the interactive information between man and nature, and even the information produced by White Claudia’s own activities. This kind of information is the result of a complex and orderly combination on the subconscious level. This combination is purposeful Yes, based on the understanding of life sciences, it can also be regarded as beneficial to White Claudia for the time being." Dr. Ruan Li's voice became very clear, "You can understand this, right? A Chuan. "(To be continued.)
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