Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 1827: New Diary Three

I was suddenly inspired. I was struggling to write a book. I seemed to have forgotten the previous content. Another voice reminded me that this is the key turning point. In a certain chapter, there is something hidden The hint that makes the scalp numb, I take what I can guess, what I can imagine, what I can understand, what I know and see, what I can’t see but can feel, and materialize it. Realistic, conscious and symbolic, all are described with this pen. Then, I no longer remember when I started writing and how I got the pen and paper.

I am rushing in the adventure, injured, falling and dying, but as long as I want, I can always find paper and pen to record my thoughts in this doomsday illusion. What I portray is not me, but me, the former me was born from the more former me, and the present me was born from another surviving me. We are one but separate. In the final analysis, we are only connected by the meaning of the name "Gaochuan", and this is the closest relationship in our cognition.

I looked up again across the window, in the room like a black-and-white movie. Dr. Ruan Li is like a ghost that only exists in the past. Her silhouette is accompanied by the flow of time-if time really flows. ——The transformation occurred bit by bit. Perhaps this change was too slow and natural, and gave the illusion that she had not changed, but I was still able to compare the vivid past impressions in my mind and notice her changes.

How long have I not spoken to her? It is not that I have different opinions and thoughts about her in my heart, nor is it that I think she is no longer her in my cognition. She is indeed Dr. Ruan Li. I know her and my heart is full of thoughts and emotions for her, but a strong instinct made me remain silent before she speaks. I can feel that she is staring at me from that room through the window, observing me, but I can't be sure that what she is looking at is me at this moment.

Everything in the repeater is weird. I have seen things that are too weird. Everything is like an illusion, but the illusion implies the truth. They are all integrated, so I can’t tell which is the illusion and which is. True, but my intuition will surely give me warnings, and I have become accustomed to everything that is strange, mysterious, dangerous, frightening, desperate, and chaotic.

She is still staring at me, staring at me who is not here. From the existing contents of the diary, from the voice that rang in my mind, from the intuition that flew across the sky like a swallow, I realized once again that she was dead.

The one standing in front of me is neither a living person nor a dead person. Perhaps, it is just an illusion, a residue left from the reality of the hospital in the doomsday illusion——Yes, Dr. Ruan Li has been in the reality of the hospital. The "virus" infection became a patient with doomsday syndrome and died. The residue she left in the doomsday illusion was preserved because of the Las Vegas repeater. No, to be more precise, the phantom in front of me, It is the real winner in the Las Vegas repeater battle.

And I am just a boarder and agent welcomed by this phantom.

The Las Vegas repeater moved in a certain direction under my conscious tendency, but it was not I who drove it, but Dr. Ruan Li drove it for me. When I think of this, I can't help but feel a pain in my heart. Because I want to believe that even if Dr. Ruan Li died, he still helped me in the form of such an illusion.

I don’t know whether the plan I’m going to carry out is right or wrong. I just hope it can bring you a happy end. However, it is common that reality and hope do not match. It is also because I cannot be sure that I am 100% correct, so I long for another me and Dorothy to carry out another plan, even if in my heart, my correctness reaches 90%, and Dorothy and the others are correct. Less than.

My heart is swaying, but I am not going to compromise. I don't want to entrust the final result to fate, but I deeply feel how fate, from probability, pushes us to reach an established track. Faced with that terrible future possibility, I need to keep telling myself "to believe in myself firmly" to prevent myself from becoming completely crazy.

I keep observing myself and comparing myself. The existence of another Gao Chuan, his thoughts and choices recorded in his diary, is the best reference. From this reference object, I know more than ever the malignant changes in my mind, spirit, psychology, and so on.

However, I also know very well that when I fall in love with her or it, all this is irreversible.

My thoughts are like a wild horse running out of steam, like a flood of a river crashing, galloping and roaring on the clear and knowable knowledge and vague feelings. And the room on the other side of the window under my gaze, Dr. Ruan Li’s image has become more and more distorted and weird. She now has only a human form. If I hadn’t been watching her changes, I’m afraid I would have seen such a distorted form at the first glance. At that time, I couldn't recognize her either.

The more intense these changes that originate from myself and from the external objects I have observed, the more intense it will make me feel a tension from the soul. It stretched tighter and tighter, as if it was about to trigger.

It’s in this tightening feeling that I seem to be able to feel that the Las Vegas repeater is quickly approaching the attractive point-it’s not a compliment to say that there is attractiveness there. To be specific, I can feel a trap-like maliciousness and a certain needle-like threat. It is precisely because of this feeling that I can be sure that it must be the most critical situation in the situation I am facing. Place, and this attraction is precisely in such a "critical" perception.

Gradually, I couldn't help but listen. In my mind, there is a melody rising, from tiny like insects to clear audible in my ears. Deep in the body of "Gao Chuan", in the depths of my soul, it is singing. It's like the wonderful performance of the characters in the eulogy play, and it's like admiring the splendor of the plot-in its observation, it appreciates the drama, it can't wait to see the subsequent development, and I can't resist .

I'm getting lost in this sound, and I feel that it's so terrifying and desperate, but it's so beautiful.

Then, at a certain moment, I faintly heard the ringing of a bell.

At this moment, I knew one thing more strongly than ever: This is the bell of the New Year, and it's 1999!

I suddenly looked at the other wall. There seemed to be a clock there, but when I looked at it now, there was nothing but a clean and tidy wall. But the bell, like an auditory hallucination, still rang in my ears, as if from that direction, from that wall.

Before the moment the bell rang, what era was this doomsday fantasy? What year and month? What time? I do not remember. Perhaps because of this, the feeling urged by the recognition of "Nine-Nine-Nine-Nine Has Arrived" is so powerful and profound, just like the entire world I know, whether it’s the doomsday fantasy or the hospital reality, only in At this time, coincidentally arrived at an accurate time.

Before this moment, all the time is "false", and only the time at this moment is true and the starting point for timekeeping.

What did I feel? I took the time to write it down with pen and paper:

——

A figure like "Gaochuan" walks between the buildings of the hospital. The moonlight has been buried by the clouds in the sky, as if it will rain at any time, and the moisture in the air can be clearly felt only by sniffing the nose. Those figures cannot interlace in the bleak lights and heavy shadows, and they cannot be sure of the specific number. They are like ghosts and monsters. At this time, walking in the empty in this way, it seems that there are many inhumans hidden. In the world of things, it is as if they have come to their home court. If someone notices these figures and feels their movement, they will definitely feel scared from the bottom of their hearts-the figures themselves are not terrifying, but just as people are afraid of the silent and dark night for no reason, it will definitely be born out of such a night. Such a movement, and feel overwhelmed.

They seemed to be fighting, hiding, but unable to see their opponents-occasionally shadows flashed past, they seemed to be injured, they seemed to be crazy, the shadows printed on the wall became distorted and full of pain. Then it becomes an image that is not a human form. Vaguely, a creepy voice came out, like a monster roaring.

No one knows what exactly these figures are doing, and what they are fighting with—but they are by no means the strangest thing that has happened on this island in the hospital reality. From the past to the present, the researchers in the hospital have been trying to find the “virus”, but with the passage of time, all progress has been blocked one by one. Now, they are all trapped in a trap with this island hospital. People are desperate and helpless.

Even Dr. Ender couldn't make it clear what the details of all these changes were. The bad turning point does not burst out all at once, but it is like boiling a frog in warm water. When you realize it, the struggle has become very difficult. In this quiet night, when standing by the window and feeling everything outside, the vague and increasingly anxious sense of tension and crisis that struck me made people believe that I was in an absolutely dangerous situation. .

Because of fear, no one will go out at this time, and such a frightening night has lasted for about a week.

During this week, depressing information followed. First, Dr. Ruan Li, who was highly hopeful, contracted and died, and then many researchers who had achieved important results contracted and died. The activity of the "virus" during this period of time is far greater than that of going to any time period. It is not only the situation in this hospital, but also through the support of the outside of the island to the hospital, the "virus" can also be clearly felt. The spread of the world, and the large-scale emergence and deterioration of patients with doomsday syndrome.

To a certain extent, although this hospital is still at the forefront of research on "viruses", the bad condition of the "hospital" itself has exceeded the scope that it can be repaired and operated in an orderly manner, and is facing abandonment. Dangerous-that is to say, this island may be designated as a "severe disaster area" at any time and be forcibly purged with nuclear bombs.

It is not easy to escape the island. Dr. Ender knows better than anyone here that a month ago, the hospital was ordered to close down. At the beginning, there were still supplies brought in by ship, but in a batch of up to one million After the delivery of the lcl liquid, the supply of materials became intermittent and the interval time was repeatedly extended. The living supplies stored in the island hospital are enough for the people here to do nothing and continue to live for a year, but this cannot change the situation in which workers and patients on the island cannot leave the hospital and return to normal life.

Everyone is imprisoned on this island in disguise in the deteriorating disease. According to the latest secret statistics, including Dr. Ander himself, there are fewer than 30 people who have not been infected by the "virus" or who have not had any signs of disease for the time being. Including patients, researchers, service personnel and security personnel, the number of "30" cannot maintain the normal and orderly operation of the hospital at all, and has to turn a blind eye to those infected with doomsday syndrome~IndoMTL.com~ both Can’t make it clear that they are aware of their disguise, nor can they really ask about their research progress-the researchers themselves know very well what kind of terrible condition doomsday syndrome is. If they can’t produce results, they can’t save others. , Can't save myself. They need to bear the consequences on their own, so it is not hard to work hard.

However, no results.

No matter how hard you work, no matter how many attempts you make, no matter how well you cooperate, if there is no result, you can't even save yourself-this is not good news for all the patients in the hospital. When these researchers went crazy, many people committed suicide because of mental pressure and could not bear this cruel fact. In contrast, before his death, Dr. Ruan Li used himself as an experiment and left valuable research materials, which is undoubtedly a positive example. It was so bad that there were people who tried to implicate others, but they were all quickly dealt with, but this could not change the malicious fact that the hospital was suffering: how many normal people are still in the hospital today? If you run into a person at random, the other person is likely to be an infected person.

The silhouettes that move like ghosts in the night, but behind the huge and distorted curtain, can be regarded as typical silhouettes. Dr. Ander is very clear that it is by no means "Gaochuan", and it is definitely not just "Gaochuan". A terrifying, desperate, and unclear thing is covering everyone. (To be continued.)