Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 1909: Stepping
Fr Edward wakes up occasionally. He feels that he is swelling all the time, but he can't remember what he was like when he was still in human form. He can sometimes remember what "person" is, but sometimes he cannot regard the cognition of "person" as a kind of experience and feeling he has had before. The meaning contained in "person" is turning into a kind of pure knowledge, but The inability to arouse his emotions is like something that has nothing to do with oneself, just as a group of trivial numbers often fails to arouse people's interest, just as people cannot imagine themselves as a certain group of numbers.
He hasn't thought about what he has become, but just feels that he is still himself. There is no doubt that oneself is changing, but no matter how you become, of course you are still yourself, this kind of self-affirmation transcends the change of oneself, and is no longer entangled with what you should be like, what you are originally. It looks like, what I once had, seems to be no longer important to me now. In front of Father Edward, starting at a certain point in time, there was a huge gap between the past and the present. On both sides of the gap were completely different and unconnected things, and the weight of the past became insignificant.
Fr Edward is still unable to describe what he is like, just as people cannot accurately describe what they look like, nor can they describe their own essence, just as people cannot clarify their own essence. The lack and emptiness of self-understanding is limited to superficial cognition, and there is no difference whether it is in human or inhuman.
Even so, when I was awake occasionally, compared to the last time I was awake, there are still some profound changes that can be felt instinctively, that is, my ability to move is a little bit stronger. Originally, the details of controlling activities required a little bit of attention. Sometimes I wanted to do it, but my body did that. If you want to move a certain part of your body, it’s like processing every thread connecting this part. Only by achieving extreme precision can the movements of this part meet your own requirements. However, every time you wake up, there will be some "silk threads" that no longer need him to pay attention to and control. A vague and huge idea is born, and all the factors that determine the movement of a certain part of the body will be mobilized spontaneously.
This reminds Edward of "people"-when people are walking, they don’t need to control every muscle and every nerve. They instinctively regulate these details mechanistically. Since then, it has been recorded in the body. Now his familiarity with his body is becoming like this, which gives him a very strong feeling of "just born".
Those cognitions that were once “people” fade away like the tide, hidden in a deep and deep place, it is difficult to dig out, not as “people”, but as a newly born For new things, he began to open his eyes, move his body, observe, touch, get used to, and see everything around him from his current perspective.
Those alienated flesh and blood, organs and tissues that seem to be split in different areas are becoming more active, and they are connected into a whole in a way that transcends the human perspective. For Father Edward, this is a natural whole, but for anyone who comes into contact with these flesh and blood organs, as well as children who understand it from a human perspective, it becomes a bit mysterious and strange. The activity of these flesh and blood organs was so sudden in their eyes, full of a catastrophic premonition, which made people feel terrified.
In Father Xisen’s view, there is a reason for this kind of activity, but even if it can be guessed that these alienated flesh and blood organs are related to Father Edward, they don’t think that their activity is not based on Father Edward as the main reason—— Of course, Father Edward's own situation is a very important cause, but, above this, the cause of changes in Father Edward's own situation is more profound in another sense.
Fr Edward will not use this kind of disguise that even he can't control for no reason, nor will such an abnormality occur without warning after the change is completed. Father Edward's changes caused changes in these abnormal flesh and blood organs, but in the final analysis, it was still the indescribable thing that forced Father Edward to produce such changes.
Father Xi Sen thought so, while using the "wind" that had already become limb-free, he connected the huge ritual circle with those abnormal flesh and blood organs. The living, increasingly active flesh and blood is very sensitive, even if it is just gently brushed by the "wind", it will produce a kind of fine peristalsis, just like a mimosa leaf will rebound when it is touched. . If possible, Father Sisson would of course want to achieve a deeper communication with Father Edward, but after he tried all conceivable methods, the actual results proved the difficulty of practicing this idea. From the contact phenomenon, from the superficial perspective, the overall structure of the flesh and blood organs and tissues that is visible to the naked eye does not possess wisdom, nor humanity, and does not have any channels for communication. It looks more like a plant, a single-celled life that depends entirely on instinct.
Fr. Xisen certainly thinks this is an illusion, because since it is assumed that Father Edward is the true body of these alienated flesh and blood, then these things that can be seen in front of him are definitely not without wisdom. It can only be imagined that Father Edward is in some kind of hazy state of consciousness, or this kind of weird disguised change, which has caused obstacles to the communication between the two parties from the physical structure, and even fundamentally determines the perspective of Father Edward. He could not see, could not recognize that his former disciple was trying to communicate with him.
I can’t see or hear, even if I want to pay attention to it, I can’t recognize it-Father Sisson believes that if this is the case, then Father Edward’s way of thinking and personality must be rapidly moving towards the abyss of inhumanity Slipping, and the idea of wanting to join hands with him is no different from a fantasy. I am afraid that Father Edward has completely scratched the unequal sign with the Father Edward he knew at this time, Father Xi Sen couldn't help but think so.
Fr Edward opened his eyes, or in other words, there is a feeling of "opening the eyes", but in fact, compared to the human "eyes", the five senses that Father Edward uses to observe things at this time are not precise The entity has no limited function. Vision is equal to smell, hearing, and feeling. The information received in a comprehensive way is higher than the information limit that the human five sense organs can accept. It is precisely because there is a huge difference in the experience and habits of human beings who rely on the eyes and the five senses to distinguish things. Therefore, at the beginning, this difference caused great torture to Father Edward. When people's cognition, memory and experience sink into the deep seabed of self, floating on the surface, as the disguised perception of this amorphous gray mist demon, it becomes more and more natural to play a role.
Leaving aside Father Edward’s feelings, when he "opened his eyes", from Father Sisson’s perspective, it was a pile of abnormal flesh and blood organs that grew out of the piles of grains. The eyeballs indeed show a "eyes" posture. It’s just that Father Sisson is not sure. This is another irrelevant appearance, whether it will reflect a certain change in Father Edward’s state afterwards, or that one of these ninety-nine disguises does have eyes. Life form.
These eyeballs have no eyelids or pupils. They are generally very standard spherical. If you don't call these things "eyeballs", you can't find a better description. These eyeballs are rolling in the flesh and blood, because there are too many, so it makes people feel more creepy. Their rotation does not show a sense of order, but rather messy in rhythm and direction, which makes people feel anxious and nauseous. At the same time, it seems that patients who have just received eye treatment are trying to move their eyeballs. The feeling of life was sparse, but it was smoothed and swiftly after a while; it was also like a person who had just woken up and moved his eyes, trying to make himself more awake-it is precisely because of this association that Father Xi Sen felt I probably knew what Father Edward was in roughly.
Although this kind of association may seem unreliable to others, it is extremely important to the mystery expert. It allows the mystery expert to understand himself and the surrounding state more clearly in a perceptual state On the other hand, a person who does not have sufficient ability to associate and feel can easily die in a state of affairs that he cannot understand.
People’s imagination is based on things that they have already recognized, but most of the time it goes beyond the scope of their own cognition, to describe things that they cannot understand. In ancient times, those writing mystics The philosophers always regard imagination as a kind of transcendence but do not have the power of substance. Therefore, they often try to find the interfering entity of this power, or try to make this power obtain the entity. However, at the same time they also realized that when this power gains the entity and can interfere with the entity, it will be limited in itself, falling from a state of "transcendence" to a state of "normal", and it is difficult to reflect its transcendence. sex.
Therefore, in Father Sisson’s education, in Father Edward’s own experience, imagination is not used to act on entities, but to be able to describe situations that are difficult for him to understand. Those changes that are inherently elusive are incorporated into one's own cognition with a hazy general outline-perhaps it is impossible to truly clarify the essence of this elusive and incomprehensible thing, nor can it be changed, but At least it seems to have built an invisible bridge to such things.
Father Xisen uses imagination and association to judge Father Edward’s situation that cannot be directly observed, to understand its dilemma, and to understand what it is going to do. At the same time, he is also very clear that the results obtained by doing this are ambiguous and more likely to be wrong. However, even if a small amount of correctness is hidden among a lot of mistakes, it will make his situation A positive change occurred at a critical moment.
Now, Father Xi Sen feels that these disorderly moving eyeballs are looking in a certain direction. With this feeling, he also casts his gaze there. Then, a faint outline emerged from the hazy, full-bodied, dense gray mist that made people feel goosebumps. For a while, it seemed to be floating, and it was impossible to determine whether it was approaching here, but a key point of perception came. After that, when Father Sissen observed the figure, he had a clear feeling, that The figure is indeed approaching to his side. No, this description is not completely correct. Father Xi Sen stared at it, felt it deeply, racked his brains to recognize the current situation, and then he found a more accurate statement: that figure is not Walking on the three-dimensional physical coordinates. Therefore, although there is indeed a direction, it cannot be described by the concept of "direction" used to describe three-dimensional physical coordinates in common sense.
The path that the figure walks is definitely not the three-dimensional world that the eye sees, but a path that can only be explained by the concept of physical dimensions. Time and space form a harmonious whole on this route, which is completely different from the straight line seen by the naked eye. Therefore, its progress looks erratic, like a ghost. Its movement speed does not seem to be fast, but in fact, the phenomenon that a normal attack from a three-dimensional angle will produce will definitely not have an effect on it-even if it has not been tried, Father Xi Sen thinks so.
The gray fog is so dense. Under normal circumstances, at such a distance, you will definitely not be able to see the contours of things of the same size. Therefore, when you see it, it proves that it is unusual. Father Xi Sen thought so, the anxiety that had been waiting for the unknown fearful thing gradually subsided.
Before Father Xi Sen planned to take any action against the figure, the alienated flesh and blood organs suddenly leaped up. A hundred-meter-high building with most of the volume of material turned into flesh and blood organs, the whole is like living tentacles, piercing through the gray fog, whipping the air, and the hurricane brought by the hurricane roaring, so that Father Xi Sen must use himself. The mysterious power of the world can gain a firm foothold. Even so, the wind pressure on his face still made him subconsciously block it with his arm.
At the same time, the huge, heavy, tentacle-like building smashed into the position of the figure-it was a position that the naked eye could not judge, and Father Xi Sen could only see the outline of the building. Live the silhouette of that figure.
There is a roar of shaking heaven and earth——
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