Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 1917: Never return

"Xi Sen, Xi Sen... Xi Sen! Hey, wake up, Xi Sen." Father Xi Sen heard the voice vaguely. He felt that he didn't close his eyes, but he felt like waking up suddenly. The anomalous scene that the two monsters had stirred up the earth quickly became ambiguous, and the other warm but full of deep tones was gradually enlarged in the retina. As the scene in front of me became clear, the voice that called me had more texture. Father Xi Sen felt a tingling pain coming from his right wrist, as if the electric current was running along the nerves to the eyeball, making half of his face twitching and making him sober all at once.

He opened his eyes and shook his head. He felt that he was more awake. Then he realized that he was staying in the room. The fire from the fireplace illuminates most of the room. The darker it goes to the corner. There was a familiar, calm fragrance flowing in the air. He couldn't remember where he was for a while. A sense of tranquility filled his heart, letting the accumulated fear alleviate. Even so, he Still shrinking his body.

Father Xi Sen looked at himself silently and surprised. There were still some fuzzy fragments in his mind: unspeakable monsters, doomsday-like places, and all kinds of weird phenomena...Despite the memory, but, These fragments are as fuzzy as a dream that has passed. But at this moment, his body was completely different from his mutated and ugly body in the dream, and now it at least looked like a human being.

Father Xi Sen has not forgotten that he is a mystery expert, nor has he forgotten the mysterious events he has passed through, as well as the intellect and insights that have been preserved through various trials. All the surprises he had produced were not a nightmare for himself, or the indistinguishable ambiguity between this dream and reality, nor the feeling that he had suddenly returned from a tragic battlefield to a quiet shelter. A room like this, but just because of the situation at this time, there is such a deja vu feeling.

It's like...It's like going back to a certain moment in the past, back to a place that has been forgotten by myself, or actively wants to forget.

There is nothing strange about all of this. It is not uncommon for similar things to happen in mysterious events. The power of consciousness is enough to make people fall into a dream and never wake up. But, at this time...what else will happen?

Fr. Xi Sen heard the familiar voice again: He is a man, the volume is neither light nor heavy, not aroused, not decadent, not anxious, but can only be described in plain terms, just like habitually calling at home The name of the family.

"Sissen, you finally woke up." the man said.

Father Xi Sen finally thought about it. This sound, this room, this scene in the fire of the fireplace is not so unique one day. The person who called himself... He turned his head and looked, as expected, he was a middle-aged man wearing a godfather's robe. His familiar face was not as old as he was later, but it was already covered with white hair and crow's feet. Compared with most people, although full of intellectual feelings, compared with most people, there is no unique charm. Of course, the feeling that this appearance brings to people is absolutely wrong on this person. of. The inside of this godfather cannot be described with the word "charm", but it is very terrifying.

"Father Edward." Father Sisson said the man's name.

This is a face that can only be seen a long time ago. In Father Xi Sen's memory, the man in front of him didn't do much extraordinary things at this age. He thought, in the silence for a moment, there was a kind of understanding, why he was here, why he saw the other person when he saw this face, all of this needless to say, it is impossible to say clearly, but it really cannot make him feel Amazed.

Yes, Father Edward, he is here. This is a dream, this is a memory, but it is not just a dream, as if there is a kind of revelation flowing in the quiet air. The light scent, the musty smell of the bookshelf, the ink scent blended with a variety of materials, and the rustle of the pen moving on the paper. All this is just like yesterday.

Father Edward sat behind the desk and stared at him through a stack of thick leather books. Father Xi Sen propped up his body with his hands and sat upright on the sofa. He didn't avoid Father Edward's gaze, even though he didn't know what Father Edward wanted to say. This scene that happened at this time seems to have happened in the past. On that day, I seemed to be awakened by the other party. Then I sat upright in the same way, waiting for Father Edward to speak down.

"Sisson, what is a soul?" Father Edward's question seemed to come from the distant past.

"There is no soul." Father Sisson replied as always.

He saw Father Edward tap on the paper with the tip of a pen, and his face couldn't show any emotion, but from the feeling, his answer didn't seem to be rebellious, at least for Father Edward.

After a while, Father Edward asked again: "What is **?"

"The manifestation of the sum of self-existence in physical properties." Father Sisson said, paused, and added: "It is the appearance of the sacred person who is the outline of self-cognition, the basis of contact, and the beginning of estrangement."

"There is no soul, so there is no transformation of the soul. ** is just the manifestation of self-existence, the appearance of the contours of self-cognition in front of others. Therefore, the transformation of ** is only the initial change of the surface of the self. "Fr Edward said so, the head-up eyes dropped again, not knowing what was being written, and he continued without comment: "You use this philosophical view to look at yourself, all from ** It is difficult to save you from appearance, and the pain that involves self-appearance. Xi Sen, you are a person who is indifferent to pain. In my opinion, this is not a good thing. Maybe you will be very rational and used to it. To use reason to suppress perceptual distortions and hallucinations based on perceptual birth, but this also means that it is difficult for you to get used to those things that are produced perceptually. It is difficult to break free, difficult to fight, inexperienced, and not enough. Means. If you don’t have enough experience, you can’t get enough cognition. In mystery, things that can be confronted with reason and the method of confronting things with reason are very narrow."

Speaking of this, Father Edward pointed to Father Sisson with the tip of his pen, and said: "I can predict that there will be a moment in time when the emotional burning will begin when you can’t notice it, and then it will be unimaginable. The way is over, and you will be burned to death like a heretic, and you can only endure it resentfully, but this enduring is meaningless, because it will not change anything, just like those who were judged by heretics in the Middle Ages. Forgetting, you will become the condiment and nourishment of the judge, and for yourself, there will be nothing."

"Really?" Father Xi Sen did not answer directly, but his tone did not hesitate or flinched.

"Yes, it will be like this." Father Edward said with certainty: "But, Xi Sen, I see you as your own. You are my son. No matter what happens in the future, I don't want you to bear it. This kind of meaningless pain does not want you to fall into that situation." He stared at Father Xi Sen, not because of the decision and stubbornness of the young man in his eyes, he did not have any extra emotions, as if he was just explaining a fact. "I love you, so I want to save you. Maybe you will gradually forget what happened today and what I said to you here, maybe there will be some mysterious power that will save me what I tried to do to you. , Deprived of your mind, but I will still use all means to save you, just because I love you, son. I can’t be sure, what kind of means it will be, and where it will be, but I’m sure , I will definitely get the power to save you at that critical moment, and then you will remember this day... Yes, this is a signal."

"What do I need to do?" Father Xi Sen did not move, because he sitting on this sofa is no longer what he used to be. The wisdom and will he possessed is stronger than he was on this day. Also understood more things. Even so, he did not refute Father Edward's statement, especially the most critical word in this statement: He loves him, and they are godfather and adopted son, but they have the feelings of their own father and son. This is undoubtedly, from the past to the present. They have never denied it themselves.

So, just as he had said the same thing, Father Sisson just asked: What do I need to do?

"You don't need to do anything." Father Edward continued to write and said without looking up: "There is no need to do anything. Don't rely on the so-called subjectivity and objectivity. Don't pay attention to sensibility and reason. Don't argue. Real and false. You want to be asleep, dreaming, hazy, fuzzy, and then accept... accept the changes that have occurred in you, and you will know that I brought you that, maybe It’s terrible. Maybe you don’t understand what it is. Maybe it’s hard to accept from various human concepts, but it’s okay. You just need to know that I love you and want to save you."

Father Sisson, as Fr Edward said, did not distinguish between dreams and reality. He has a clear understanding of what his situation is at this moment, because the fear in his heart is temporarily gone, But it has never weakened, the unknown, incomprehensible, and full of destructive power, and it has not disappeared because I am in a room full of sense of sight. He already understood why he was here, why he saw Father Edward, all of this, just as Father Edward said before him: this is a brand, a sign, a revelation, a hint, it is the father for his son. The miracles brought about, everything displayed here, no matter how terrible, how incomprehensible, how full of sight, how unable to distinguish between dreams and reality, are all caused by the power of love.

A long time ago, on that day, Father Edward must have been telling the same thing.

"...Perhaps you will be happy?" Father Edward asked suddenly.

"Yes, I will be very happy." Father Sisson said with certainty.

"I’ve never told you about six or six in disguise, but I know that having such a gray mist demon in disguise is incredibly powerful. However, it does not make me stronger, but makes me stronger. You become stronger." Father Edward said: "I can't control it, but maybe you can, because when I become it, it will become a part of you. I created it for you."

"No, it's not just for me." Father Sisson shook his head, "Father Edward, you never give to someone."

However, Father Edward laughed: "Do you think you already know me? It's naive. You can't see everyone, even the people around you, Xi Sen. I will give for someone, especially mine. When my son encounters meaningless death and pain, no, it should be said that if you encounter meaningless death and pain, it must be when I am already unable to protect myself."

"You also have a lot of important things to do, and you want to do those things well." Father Xi Sen said.

"Perhaps, many things are important, my son, you are not the most important, but who has stipulated that in the last moments of life, you must do what is most meaningful and important to you What's the matter?" Father Edward smiled, and there was a taste of joking in his eyes, "My life is pursuing the meaning of pain, peeping the truth of the end from the meaning of pain, but in the same way, I also Therefore, I am very sure that I should not only seek these things in my life, because I am a man, not a god. I want to be a god, but before becoming a god, I am still a man, a simple life without impurities. It’s not in line with the meaning of life."

"So, you have pursued the things of your whole life, and you want to abandon them at the last moment of your life?" Father Xi Sen asked rhetorically, "Use this as a joke, stop before the end, let your choice be flawed? Let yourself change Become a clown?" Although it is sharp, it does not carry emotions such as anger or resistance.

"Do you know? In the face of the end, Xi Sen, we have always been clowns, everyone is. Whether you accept or resist, it is a fact. So, it’s not that I chose to become a clown, but My choice will not change the fact that I am a clown. But what does it matter? My love for you will not fade because I am just a clown, whether I choose to be a clown or I Always just a clown, I won’t let me not love you.” Father Edward said, picking up the top of the stack of books, opening it, and reciting in an accented voice:

"Once upon a gloomy midnight,

Faced with many weird and bizarre books that have long been forgotten,

I meditate alone, lazy and exhausted;

When I started to doze and almost fell asleep, suddenly there was a tap,

As if someone was tapping gently

A visitor is coming, I mumble softly,

That's it, nothing else.

I opened the window~IndoMTL.com~ With a flutter of wings,

A crow from the sacred past walked into my room solemnly;

It neither greeted me nor stopped for a while,

Instead, I live on top of my door with the demeanor of a gentleman and lady,

This black bird coaxed my sad hallucinations into a smile,

With its sophisticated and polite face,

Tell me: Never give it back! "(To be continued..)

　　

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