Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 2012: Transfer into
I don't remember how long I haven't seen Fu Jiang, it seems a long time, and it seems that she has been there all the time. I don’t understand the relationship between Fu Jiang and "Jiang", and I don’t know the relationship between her and the final weapon. The relationship that existed in the past apocalyptic illusion seems to pass through time. Harmony and space came to this world, and passed through the division of the world, and it was also vaguely revealed in the reality of the hospital. Fu Jiang is my beloved person, my wife, and a part of those intricate feelings. It is impossible for me to know her completely, but every time I understand her more, the part that I don’t understand becomes bigger. , The uncomprehensible part swelled faster than the comprehensible part, and finally, even what she was, became ambiguous.
In my hallucinations, in my imagination, in my diary, in my observations, she did not always exist, but, deep in my heart, she did never leave...then, the problem Right here: Does this kind of her really live in my reality? So, where is my reality? Is it reality when I can actually observe her, or is it true that she "does not exist" by the ambiguous suggestion, that I live in reality?
If... if... there is a world that only I can feel and only I can see, there are people who can actually communicate with me only in such a world, then, is this the real world? ? Is this a real person?
I can no longer give an accurate answer to these questions.
Fu Jiang, in a world that has become more and more ambiguous and suggestive to me, but never gives me an accurate answer, has never disappeared. From this perspective, she is indeed one of the references I use most often when I judge myself and the outside world.
I think this is the most incomprehensible for all those who do not admit that "Fu Jiang exists", just like Dr. Ruan Li's opinion... Ah, I am also getting more and more unclear. What I have seen, gave me a lot of advice, those doctors Ruan Li who continue to support me, which ones are the real Dr. Ruan Li and which ones are the Dr. Ruan Li in hallucinations.
After all, does Dr. Ruan Li really exist? Is she really dead?
No, I can't continue thinking—I endured the pain of brain-stirring, trying not to leave any marks on my face. This is the pain of thinking. Although it is painful, it is necessary to think. In thinking, things cross the boundary between reality and illusion. Even the science that was firmly believed in the past is full of suspiciousness and falsification. No matter how advanced or simple the theory seems, it is not "completely correct" in the end.
Painful, painful.
The world without truth is painful, so people chase the truth, an absolute truth that can explain everything, as long as you believe it, you don’t need to think about it. I feel that from this perspective, it is becoming more and more understandable why the "doomsday truth" is spreading. And this kind of understanding is making me more and more doubt whether I have also been captured by the truth of the end.
If there is anything else that makes me still insist on believing that I am not a believer of Doomsday Truth, it must be because the world where the Doomsday is the truth is so painful.
In the world where the truth of the doomsday is rampant, there are symbols of "virus", they are all standing on the edge of the doomsday, and they are all in madness and despair. The people I love are suffering, and countless people are suffering. This kind of torture has turned around and returned to the original point, making them unable to get rid of-this is the cause of the pain that makes me the most painful, and the one that makes me the most sad. The reason, the reason that makes me deny all of this most.
Ah...Yes, as it is now, I can't stop thinking. Even if you keep telling yourself that you can no longer think, you can no longer continue to doubt, you can't stop.
The "I" named Gaochuan is swelling. If you think about it, your ego will go crazy.
Even so, you can't stop. My plan... My plan... The plan to end it all...
"It's okay? Achuan, you look painful." Fu Jiang's voice dragged me back from the fall of the dark abyss. I shouldn't show any flaws. I have experienced so many things, even if I am actually in a trance, no one should be able to tell what is wrong in my expression.
"Is Mr. Gaochuan hurt?" A voice came from the other side. The lines of her face and body are a little distorted, and the color of her whole person is a little fuzzy... I should have hallucinations again.
It’s okay, I’ve long been used to it, I had expected it a long time ago.
"It's okay. It's just a bit disgusting." I said.
"Disgusting? What's right?" Fu Jiang asked, with a confused look on his face, and then he didn't know what to show a vigilant expression, as if the enemy was hiding by his side.
"Well...people always hate everything around them. Even the most robot-like people have an emotional side. This is a human." I explained vaguely. I think that I shouldn't have said the word "disgusting" before, because it is not just as simple as "disgusting".
"Well, it's okay, understandable, because Achuan is a patient." Tomie said with a hearty smile.
The expression of stunned expression was obvious: "Mr. Gao Chuan... is it a patient?"
"This is a disease for people with bad brains, and people with good brains." Tomoe said in a ridiculous tone, and he clasped my shoulders and pressed them on my neck, as usual. In that way, I squeezed my plump body indifferently, with a grinning expression, and pointed my finger at my temple, "However, if there is no such disease, we would not meet. So, don't be afraid, Achuan, Don't be afraid, no matter when, no matter what the situation, I will be by your side, I will always be there."
"Ah... um... that's what I said." I smiled bitterly, Fu Jiang is always so high-spirited, always so cheerful, and I have never seen her look down. Her immeasurable strength and unpredictability make her appearance always be described as "the calmness of the strong" when I write a diary.
However, even such Fujiang, in some short words, there will be some kind of suggestiveness.
"However, if Mr. Gao Chuan is really sick, it is better to see a doctor earlier." Tiao's answer is so ordinary and simple, but in such an environment, under such conditions, it is impossible to In the world of things that are incomprehensible with reason and metaphor, it seems a bit harsh.
"It doesn't matter, I have already seen the doctor." I said.
It's just that even the doctor has nothing to do.
Fu Jiang just smiled, smiling heartily as always.
Ten raised his head sensitively and glanced at the still tall door, as if it was only a reaction, and said in surprise, "Ms. Tomie, you opened the door from the outside?" Then he looked at me with suspicion Here.
"What?" I don't know what she wants to express.
"Huh?" Fu Jiang also had an expression that he didn't know why.
"Mr. Takakawa said so many strange and mysterious things before, didn't it turn out that someone opened the door outside?" Shi said loudly, "It has nothing to do with intuition. Mr. Takakawa just feels that someone will come and open the door— Moreover, I have not felt that it is Ms. Tomige who is coming."
"Aha... this..." I didn't expect Yu to think that way, but this is a relatively normal idea. Anyway, I have said so much before, and it is not necessary to make her accept it. Thoughts, so, at this time, I didn’t want to defend myself, "In short, we are out, and the result is correct."
"Yes, but it's luck at all." Tsui complained a little, "If Ms. Tomie didn't come, Mr. Takakawa wouldn't be able to open the door from inside, right? You can see clearly here, the route is going. The core is completely on the door, and the door can only be opened in one direction."
"..." I smiled in my heart. Is it because I feel that Fu Jiang will come, or is it because I hope she will come? Is it because I want the door to open, so Fu Jiang came here to open the door, or did I have a foreboding that Fu Jiang will appear and open the door at this time? However, just for the moment, the result is the same-we passed this door. If you just want to get the answer right now, then it is enough to accept this result.
"That said, we were lucky. For people like us, luck is very important." I answered deliberately with a relaxed tone.
"Ah—really, after listening to Mr. Gao Chuan’s nonsense, my head is so confused. Thinking about it now, the mysterious things Mr. Gao Chuan said before are not logical at all." It seemed that she was still in pain, she pressed her temples and complained in detail.
"Then, we should also say goodbye." Fu Jiang and I looked at each other, smiled at each other, and then said so.
"Huh?" After a second or two, he reacted with a surprised expression, "Mr. Gaochuan...you..."
"I have nothing to help you. Moreover, regardless of the position, our goals are opposites. Remember what I told you before? That's not a lie." I meant something, but, It is probably impossible to fully understand it.
"But, but...it's too fast, we can still walk together..." He said, suddenly showing a dazed expression, looking around the scenery behind the door, "What is this place? Where are you going? "
"I don’t know, it’s still in the ruling bureau anyway. I just don’t know which area we arrived at. Also, I can’t tell you where our next destination is. In short, there will probably be a difference. Yes, but I will meet again on the same battlefield after all." I smiled calmly, I know that I can only smile.
"...But, I don't know where I should go, which direction is the right one?" With a confused expression. After Fu Jiang and I left, if she still couldn't get in touch with her companions, then she would continue to fight alone. The future is at stake, there is no clear clue, the enemy is hidden in a certain place, a fatal pursuit that may occur at any time, and this vast, desolate and hard world... She will face it all alone.
I sympathize with her experience, but this is a journey that every mystery expert will inevitably go through. Although mystery experts will also be in groups, but more often, they are always lonely... to face the weirdness that suddenly kills oneself at no time. Only by surviving the danger of cold sweat when I recalled it later, arriving at the final battlefield, and defeating the momentary culprit, can I get a little peace, but I have to imagine the temporary Calmness is just a subtle corner in the already maddened world. A larger wave has formed outside of my vision, and the calm I have at this time will also be destroyed by that terrible wave.
The momentary peace is more like an abnormality in the madness and despair that I have not seen but absolutely existed.
The so-called "victory" is an illusion, and the so-called "business as usual" is an illusion. Living in such a world is itself unfortunate.
Even so, smile.
I can only smile.
"Laugh, 畀~IndoMTL.com~ I said to her: "What else can you do without smiling at this time?" You shouldn't choose to suffer from a face or crying nose? "
"Dang, of course!" Zhen replied loudly.
As the volume increased, she seemed to become more energetic. For me, this is the best farewell. I couldn't help but reached out and touched her head, but she avoided it vigilantly. She was not too happy with my actions. She never lacked vigilance in her eyes when she looked at me. I can understand, because I said to her before, "I want to see the monsters in the collective subconscious mind". There is opposition between us. This is an indisputable fact, and no matter how her attitude changes, this opposition must never Never disappeared.
I can show her kindness, and she can also not accept it. Compared to the other me, the other Gao Chuan, I am still a strange enemy to her after all-this is good, this is good.
"Goodbye." As I said, I took Fu Jiang's hand and quickly swept in any direction. The invisible high-speed passage passed through dark corners one after another within the range of vision, and continued to spread. To the distance out of sight.
Just like the past, I took Fujiang into it, and then, in less than a second, the gate of more than 300 meters high and the door standing beside it were all like It disappeared like a bubble in a flash.
When I stopped, there was a sound like an air defense siren from the clusters of vast and icy, hard building structures. However, I am sure that it was not where Fu Jiang and I were staying at this time, but somewhere else, something important happened.
"What do you plan to do next? A Chuan." Fu Jiang suddenly asked me, she seemed to just come to me, and never thought about what to do after finding me.