I Just Came to Borrow a Light Chapter 50:

&nbLove.

&nb The moment the word came out of Lin Chengbu's mouth, Yuan Wu froze in place.

&nbLin Chengbu didn't speak again, took out a cigarette from his pocket, took it, and found that they were standing in front of the no-smoking sign, so he put the cigarette back in his pocket.

&nbTwo seconds later, he touched it again and put it back.

&nb After repeating it four times, he scolded in a slightly disturbed whisper, dragged Yuan Wu's arm down the fire escape to the first floor, exited the side door of the mall, and lit a cigarette.

&nb"Do you want it?" he asked Yuan Wu.

&nb Yuan Wu didn't say anything, just stretched out his hand, Lin Chengbu put the cigarette case in his hand, Yuan Wu took out a cigarette, and sat on the railing of the flower bed next to him, looking over Lin Chengbu, Look at the street behind him.

&nbLove.

&nbThis is a very unfamiliar word.

&nb Yuan Wu has not written and read this word for a long time. Maybe if I saw it, it would not stay in my eyes, nor would I have any impression of it alone when it appeared with other words. .

&nbBesides this is an unfamiliar word, it is also an even more unfamiliar emotion.

&nb From small to large, Yuan Wu was confused about its definition.

&nb I love my father, I love my mother, I love my grandparents, I love my brothers and sisters... These contents that are repeated mechanically with books and teachers, to Yuan Wu, are as illusory as my love for **** .

&nbNow Lin Chengbu suddenly said, I want you to love me.

&nb This sentence was not as serious as Lin Chengbu thought, because Yuan Wu had almost no way of grasping what kind of feeling it was.

&nbLike Lin Chengbu.

&nbHe can be sure of this. He doesn't hate him or bother him. Many times he thinks that Lin Chengbu is very interesting, handsome, in good shape, and delicious to cook.

&nb If you can notice so many advantages of a person, you just like it.

&nb The person he doesn't like, he sees seven or eight times in a row and can't remember what he looks like, let alone others.

&nbHowever, Lin Chengbu was talking about love.

&nbIt made him suddenly a little confused.

&nb His cognition of various positive emotions is far inferior to that of negative emotions, anger, irritability, disgust, fear, fear, disappointment, despair... He has experienced each of them until numbness.

&nbBut Lin Chengbu is talking about love.

&nbHe looked at Lin Chengbu's face.

&nb With her back to the light, she looks haggard due to her low mood.

&nbOr maybe it's not just because he's in a low mood now, it's been less than three days since he finished his meal in Chunzhi that day, but Lin Chengbu was very haggard.

&nbIt was even more haggard than when I saw him on the boat before. At that time, Lin Chengbu, who was working hard and worrying about all kinds of fears, was not like he is now. In just two days, his face was full of exhaustion.

&nbThis person's feelings for him, of course, are not just so shallow.

&nbIt's already beyond the scope of what you like to do just by giving like a shadow over the years.

&nbThis is love——

&nbYuan Wu shook his head and threw the alpaca screaming with his neck out of his mind.

&nb"Yuan Wu," Lin Chengbu called to him, "I have additional instructions, do you want to listen?"

&nb "Ah, let's talk," Yuan Wu raised his head, and suddenly felt that Lin Chengbu, who was standing in front of him in the backlight, was very tall, with golden light all over his body, and he had to pull the corner of Lalin Chengbu's clothes. , "Can it be lower, it looks great."

&nbLin Chengbu squatted down in front of him, smoking a cigarette: "Is this okay?"

&nb"Yeah." Yuan Wu nodded.

&nb "Everything I've done for you is because I like you, I... what, you," Lin Chengbu said a little embarrassedly, but not too stammered, "I'm willing to do it for you It's because of my feelings for you, but I said I want you...love me, this is a bit nauseous...I just said it..."

&nbYuan Wu looked at him without speaking.

&nb "What should I say, let me think about it," Lin Chengbu took a heavy cigarette, frowned for a while, and looked at him, "The things I did for you are because I love you , but I want you to love me, not because I do that so you should love me, I just say this because, love is all about wanting a response, and what I say... is only what I want."

&nbYuan Wu still looked at him.

&nb "I don't understand, I don't seem to understand either," Lin Chengbu pinched off his cigarette, "Let's put it this way, I do those things for you because I love you, and I hope you love them. Me, just because I love you, no matter what I do."

&nb"I know." Yuan Wu said.

&nbLin Chengbu let out a sigh of relief: "I have never said so much in my life that I love you and me."

&nb"I haven't heard so much." Yuan Wu said.

&nbLin Chengbu's words were a little confusing, but he could still hear it clearly. He was a little unfamiliar with emotion, but his logic was not lacking.

&nbLin Chengbu's state, he seems to be able to vaguely understand part of it.

&nbThe part about wanting to be loved.

&nbHe has experienced it.

&nbProbably yes, it's been too long, these memories have already disappeared little by little in the deepest part of his body.

&nb He hopes to receive care and attention like Yuan Shen, to be loved, and to receive even the slightest love from relatives that others have.

&nbAlmost, that kind of feeling.

&nbBut he didn't get it either.

&nb When did it start? Gradually get used to it, and slowly no longer look forward to it?

&nb How long was the wait and disappointment?

&nbIsn't that hope gone in the end?

&nbCan't remember.

&nbYuan Wu looked at Lin Chengbu.

&nbFamily and love are not the same.

&nb But hope is the same as waiting.

&nbLin Chengbu has waited so long, how long can he wait?

&nbIn this state of being at a loss, how could he give the love that Lin Chengbu wants?

&nbHe doesn't even have a concept of family love, what can he talk about love?

&nbEveryone's love is different, Lin Chengbu's love is like this, Jiang Chengyu's love is like that, Daqi made a girlfriend a while ago, and the little girl's love is given to him every day He put on a mask...

&nbEvery person's love is different. There is no sample to refer to, no example to imitate. Different people have different reactions to love.

&nbWhat about your own?

&nb What is it like?

&nb This kind of troubled and seemingly never-ending thinking will make Yuan Wu panic every time, panicking about his different and irreparable flaws.

&nbIt often ends up being irritable.

&nbLike now.

&nb"How long is it?" Yuan Wu asked.

&nb"What?" Lin Chengbu had been squatting in front of him in a daze.

&nb"How long does it take for the movie to start?" Yuan Wu said.

&nbLin Chengbu looked at his watch: "There is still more than an hour."

&nb"Oh." Yuan Wu threw away the cigarette **** that had already been extinguished in his hand and lit another cigarette.

&nb"Are you going to play an electric car?" Lin Chengbu said, "Are you cold here?"

&nb"It's not cold," Yuan Wu took a cigarette, "If you're cold, go in first, and I'll go in when I'm done."

&nb"I'm not cold," Lin Chengbu got up and sat on the railing next to him, turning his head to look at him, "Actually, if you don't want to watch the movie, we won't watch it."

&nb "I don't... don't want to see it." Yuan Wu looked at him with a cigarette in his mouth.

&nb "Well, let's see then," Lin Chengbu smiled, "you didn't like watching movies before, I thought you still didn't want to watch them."

&nbYuan Wu was silent.

&nbSuddenly felt a little sorry for Lin Chengbu.

&nbWhat he should have thought, Lin Chengbu can remember everything about him, the taste of eating, and he can definitely remember if he doesn't like watching movies.

&nbHe didn't know why he wanted to watch this ghost movie.

&nb Maybe he saw the loss in Lin Chengbu's eyes, he was afraid that Lin Chengbu would be disappointed, he didn't want to let Lin Chengbu down, just like he was constantly disappointed back then.

&nb But doing a little bit badly, Lin Chengbu may be even more disappointed.

&nbThe two of them sat in the North Wind for two cigarettes, and then went to the video game city on the second floor to spend almost the opening of the movie.

&nbLin Chengbu bought a ticket with a package, a bucket of popcorn and two bottles of drinks.

&nb Holding these things, the two of them walked slowly to the cinema with the crowd, surrounded by young couples holding popcorn.

&nb That's it, fall in love, watch a movie, eat popcorn in the dark, talk in a low voice, then go to dinner together after the movie, and then go home and roll the sheets.

&nbYuan Wu frowned.

&nbThere's nothing wrong with the form, but there's a huge difference on the inside.

&nbThis may be the reason for Lin Chengbu's disappointment.

&nb"Aren't we watching a horror movie?" Yuan Wu looked at the young couple beside him, "Isn't it a love movie?"

&nb"It's scary," Lin Chengbu squeezed a popcorn, "but horror movies are used to fall in love, especially in the early and ambiguous stages of love."

&nb"...Oh." Yuan Wu said.

&nb"If you are afraid for a while," Lin Chengbu opened his arms, "you can come here and lie down for a while."

&nb Yuan Wu glanced at him: "You can sit on my lap."

&nbLin Chengbu laughed for a while.

&nb But picking this horror movie for a relationship is a bit of a misstep.

&nbA domestic horror film that cannot be refined and cannot have real ghosts, if you want to scare yourself into the arms of the people around you, it is estimated that you must first make the other party feel that you have a problem with your IQ.

&nbLin Chengbu and Yuan Wu ate and drank the whole time, and they laughed a few times along the way.

&nb The young couple in the back couldn't take the opportunity to fall in love, and kept complaining in a low voice until the end of the whole film.

&nb After the lights came on, Yuan Wu looked around: "Did you see it, it was so scary, it was so scary that only half of the people were left."

&nb"Yuan Darian." Lin Chengbu gave a thumbs up.

&nb"Lin Darren." Yuan Wu also gave him a thumbs up.

&nbThe end time was afternoon tea. In the past, Lin Chengbu would definitely try to pull Yuan Wu to forcibly eat something, or drink milk tea, and delay it until dinner time, so he can eat naturally.

&nbBut today he suddenly lost interest in making excuses.

&nb I used to be able to pretend to use an ambiguous beauty to fool myself, but now that even the balance on the surface has been broken, no matter what I do, it will become deliberate and awkward.

&nb "Do you want to eat, drink, or go shopping?" Lin Chengbu asked Yuan Wu.

&nb Yuan Wu pulled the mask up, as if thinking, but after a while he shook his head gently: "Do you want to drink milk tea? Uncle invite you."

&nb "I don't want to," Lin Chengbu said. He didn't want to drink milk tea all the time, but in the past, as long as Yuan Wu asked, he would definitely say yes. This was the first time he didn't want to drink it. To tell the truth, "I just ate too much popcorn, and I finished the drink, and it's swelled up again..."

&nb"Then go back." Yuan Wu glanced at him.

&nb The car was parked downstairs at Yuan Wu's house. This was probably the earliest time Lin Chengbu had a "date" with Yuan Wu.

&nb"I'm going up." Yuan Wu sat in the car for a while and opened the door.

&nb"Well," Lin Chengbu looked at him, and after thinking about it, he took his arm again, "Yuan Wu."

&nb"What?" Yuan Wu closed the car door.

&nb"Do you have any ideas?" Lin Chengbu asked.

&nbYuan Wu looked at him and said softly after a while, "Not yet, it's a mess."

&nb"Okay," Lin Chengbu smiled, "by the way, I'm going to work tomorrow, you can take a taxi to the 18th at night."

&nb"Yeah." Yuan Wu responded.

&nbLin Chengbu leaned over when he reached out to open the door, tore off his mask, and kissed the corner of his lips: "Don't eat instant noodles at night."

&nb"...Got it." Yuan Wu patted his face and got out of the car.

&nbLin Chengbu didn't stay downstairs much. After watching Yuan Wu enter the building, he drove away.

&nb There's nothing to do at home at the moment, and he doesn't want to be alone, so the car just turned a corner and drove in the direction of No. 18.

&nbIt's almost time for Jiang Chengyu to get up. He doesn't have anything to talk to Jiang Chengyu, but he wants to stay in a place where he has acquaintances and won't be particularly noticed.

&nb18 is the most suitable.

&nbHe parked the car next to Jiang Chengyu's car, and when he got out of the car, he found Jiang Chengyu's precious car front windshield a little shocking.

&nb It is estimated that it was smashed by someone. The dense cracks, large and small, spread all around, like a big morning glory. Lin Cheng counted the steps, one big, three small, four in total.

&nb Originally, he thought that Jiang Chengyu and Chang Yu should be the type to go with each other, but now, looking at this style, he thinks that he made a mistake in his judgment. Enemy like.

&nb The bar wasn't open yet. Lin Chengbu entered the corridor from the back door and went directly to Jiang Chengyu's office. He planned to greet him and go to the bar to get some drinks.

&nbAs soon as I walked to the door of the office, I heard a bang, followed by the sound of bottles and cups falling to the ground.

&nbThe hand he wanted to knock on the door stopped in the air.

&nb Listening to this movement, it doesn't look like a fight or a dispute... Lin Chengbu walked down the corridor lightly to the hall.

&nbIt's so wild, it's probably all done on the coffee table.

&nbDaqi was wiping the cup at the bar, and he was a little surprised when he saw him coming: "Why did Brother Lin come at this time?"

&nb"There's nowhere to go," Lin Chengbu sat in front of the bar, "make a drink."

&nb"Okay," Da Qi smiled, "but don't mind me at my level, you drink his special notes every day."

&nb"No," Lin Chengbu looked inside the bar, "Have some snacks?"

&nb "Well, Brother Chengyu asked the cake house to send the snacks," Da Qi said and suddenly laughed, "but I can't get it to him at the moment, so I just put it here, do you want to eat it?"

&nb"Eat, let's eat together," Lin Chengbu took out the dim sum box, "Did Changyu come over?"

&nb"Yes," Da Qi lowered his voice, "he came in with a baseball bat."

&nb"Fuck," Lin Chengbu took a bite of the cake, "If they really go together at the end, they'll probably fall in love in a wheelchair."

&nb"I think so too," Da Qi laughed for a long time, "It's better for you and Xiao Wu to calm down."

&nbYes.

&nbComparative pauses.

&nbLin Chengbu took the wine glass and sat behind the table in the corner.

&nbComparative pauses.

&nbHe smiled bitterly. He didn't even want to think about what the ending would be.

&nbThe taste of the wine made by Daqi is also good. After Lin Chengbu slowly finished drinking, he felt a little more comfortable in the place where he had been stuck in his heart.

&nb He took out his mobile phone, opened the phone book, swiped his finger down and scrolled down, and finally stopped on a name. After hesitating for five minutes, the screen turned on and off countless times. He pointed his finger down, listening to the dial tone nervously.

&nb After picking up the phone, he almost wanted to hang up again.

&nb"Hello? Who is it? Hello?" asked several times.

&nb "Hello, Dr. Liang," Lin Chengbu took a breath, "I'm Lin Chengbu, do you remember me? Well, it's like this, I want to ask, my friend... just Yuan Wu, how is his current condition? Is there basically no problem?"

&nbIt's getting colder and colder, Yuan Wu is sitting in a taxi, watching more and more people passing by outside, listening to the radio constantly reminding everyone to keep warm or something.

&nbHow was last winter?

&nbYuan Wu can't remember a little bit, but I remember very clearly how this summer and autumn passed, full of Lin Chengbu.

&nb However, Lin Chengbu has been a little sparse recently, and he has not picked him up when he is not at work several times, such as today.

&nbYuan Wu stared at the phone in a trance, unable to tell what he felt.

&nb After tasting it for a long time, I don't know if I have any feelings.

&nbI'm a little fidgety.

&nb On the 18th, there will be fewer people in winter, and many people will leave after his bartending.

&nb He couldn't leave right away today. Two little girls stopped him in the corridor and wanted to take a group photo. Yuan Wu hesitated and agreed, but he didn't agree to take off the mask.

&nb After taking the photo, he quickly turned around and left. He didn't see Jiang Chengyu all night. When passing by his office, the lights inside were also dark.

&nbThis guy has been a lot of waves lately.

&nbtsk.

&nb Just as she walked out the back door, Yuan Wu's cell phone rang.

&nbHe took it out and looked at it, it was Lin Chengbu. While picking up the phone, he glanced at the street subconsciously, but he didn't see Lin Chengbu's car.

&nb"It's over?" Lin Chengbu's voice came from the receiver, the background sound was very quiet, it should not be on the street.

&nb"Well, just came out," Yuan Wu looked at both sides, "I'm going to take a taxi back."

&nb"That, is it cold?" Lin Chengbu asked.

&nb "It's not cold, I just finished dancing." Yuan Wu smiled.

&nb "Yuan Wu, there is something I want to tell you." Lin Chengbu said hesitantly.

&nb"What's the matter?" Yuan Wu put down the hand that was blocking the car and retreated behind the billboard on the side of the road.

&nb "That's right, Jiang Chengyu knows about this, and our boss told me last year that he wanted to send me to study..." Lin Chengbu said.

&nb "Study? Study cooking?" Yuan Wu was stunned.

&nb "Well, her friend's hotel is very good, let me go and learn." Lin Chengbu said.

&nb "That's good, why didn't you go?" Yuan Wu asked.

&nb "At that time... I have to keep an eye on you," Lin Chengbu smiled, "I don't have time to go, I have more relaxed working hours here in Chunzhi."

&nb"Are you being asked to go again now?" Yuan Wu asked.

&nb"Yes." Lin Chengbu responded.

&nb"Then go, isn't it good to be able to learn something," Yuan Wu said, thinking about it and asking again, "Are you worried that you won't have time to drop me off? I'll just take a taxi."

&nb"Oh," Lin Chengbu's voice was a little low, "then I...the day after tomorrow."

&nb"Well, it's pretty fast." Yuan Wu said.

&nb "The proprietress is very active, she bought all the air tickets." Lin Chengbu said.

&nbAfter Yuan Wu had said a few words to him, Lin Chengbu urged him to take a taxi back, saying that it was too cold and he would catch a cold.

&nb After hanging up the phone, Yuan Wu stopped the car, and the moment he opened the door, he suddenly reacted.

&nbAir tickets?