I Really Didn’t Want to Be the Savior Chapter 415: I failed?

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A long time passed, Chen Feng turned to look at his close lover who was sleeping beside the pillow by the moonlight.

He was a little empty in his mind, and a lot of mixed thoughts were surging.

His memories flow uncontrollably.

Since their acquaintance, the two have gone from misunderstanding and suspicion to relying on each other, and then admiring each other, then to Chen Feng being ashamed, but Zhong Lei becoming more and more affectionate, and then to Chen Feng finally showing off and confessing, he wanted to say goodbye, but he became more and more trapped Deep bits and pieces emerged from the bottom of his heart, and then engulfed his mind.

Even though they are already very familiar with each other now, Chen Feng still deeply remembers the indescribable shock in his heart when he first recognized Zhong Lei and found out that she is the Beethoven of the next thousand years.

At that time, Chen Feng didn't dare to expect too much. He just thought that even if he became an ordinary friend, he would be satisfied with a few more words.

He never thought that he would live his ninth life in just nine months. He had seen countless partings, and his whole person had been reborn. Now, he has finally made the "female version of Beethoven" even more remarkable. .

Obviously it has become a fact, but he still seems to have passed away and can't believe it.

It's like a dream. There are ups and downs in this big dream, but also happiness and contentment. Chen Feng knew it was a dream, but he didn't want to wake up and couldn't wake up.

He still occasionally fantasizes that if there is no crisis, everything will continue to pass smoothly, and then he will always look up at Zhong Lei who is flying higher and higher in the ordinary, sometimes pity himself and lament why when he was a neighbor Don't have a good relationship with the other person.

This fate may be sad for me, but it is hard to tell whether it is good or bad for civilization.

Chen Feng peeked at Zhong Lei again, then silently buried his face in the pillow.

He didn't know if he was ashamed or excited at this time, maybe he had a heavy sense of responsibility.

This was the first time in a long time that he had another person sleeping beside him when he crossed.

Alas.

Time to go to sleep, hopefully I can do better this time.

Definitely!

The next day, early in the morning, Chen Feng opened his eyes in a daze.

The furnishings in the room are still familiar.

The sixteen pairs of woolen trousers that were shaken to the ground with the quilt when the love was so intense last night were neatly stacked on the bedside table.

Chen Feng rubbed his eyes, sat up abruptly, and looked around.

This is indeed the master bedroom of my own villa.

Huh?

About five seconds later, he realized something, his pupils suddenly widened, his face became extremely distorted, showing panic and confusion.

Chen Feng gritted his teeth.

It's over... it's over!

I didn't go there!

Travel failed!

This... how about this?

Did we win this time?

My mission is over?

The finale?

How is Tang Tianxin?

How are you all doing?

Have humanity left the solar system?

Is it really... over?

The compound-eye civilization is so powerful. Did I really do such a good job this time, and successfully wipe out the compound-eye civilization's fleet in the galaxy?

Will the compound-eye civilization's home planet in the Virgo Local Group send a new, larger and more advanced fleet?

What's next for a super-civilization that creates a solar dome and an electron black hole?

How did we fight this battle?

How did you win?

Or did we actually lose?

It's just that the energy that supports my travel through time and space is exhausted?

……

10,000 questions that made him anxious all the time, but said that if he didn't clean it up, he would still mess up one by one in his mind.

These seem simple, but at every turn, issues related to the survival of tens of billions of people, and the survival of the entire civilization, kept hitting his mind.

Gradually, Chen Feng's face turned ashen, his hands clasped his head, extremely annoyed and frightened.

He had long feared that such a day would come.

That is, I suddenly lose the ability to travel through time and space, and then I don't know what will happen next, and I can only leave the future to fate.

Yes, I have already arranged how to go in my next life, and I also have inexhaustible wealth potential. I am destined to become the richest man in the world in twenty or thirty years at the latest, and become admired by all. The dual leader of science and art, this time maybe he can also become an invisible bigwig in the political arena.

But does it make sense?

Who is not a cup of loess after all?

What I want is not the present, but the future!

Asshole, why did you just give up on me.

Give me a few more chances and maybe I'll make it!

I know that traveling through time and space is like replicating the universe. This energy consumption is huge, which is beyond my imagination, so can I lower my requirements?

Give me one more chance, even once!

Don't give up on us with such a disagreement!

Humans... have really worked hard!

It's not fair!

Unconsciously, Chen Feng clenched his fists and his eyes turned red.

Emotion told him that he couldn't give up and admit defeat, but reason told him that it was impossible.

I haven't done enough, not enough.

This time humans may not even be able to complete the planting of warships, let alone find a way to break the grid links, energy field shields and super-strong materials of the prismatic ships.

You will still be defeated.

What should I do?

In addition, there is another layer of reason speaking to him.

Give it up, that's a thousand years from now.

By that time, my tombstone has already turned yellow and weathered, and I have already died.

Even if the human race perishes, what does it have to do with me?

But he couldn't help but think of names.

Tang Tianxin, Lin Bu, Ding Hu, Ou Qinglan, Dong Shan, Ouyang Zhenghua, Sergei, Lai Wenming...

These people have his heart and his future firmly tied together and inseparable.

He is no longer a pure 21st century man, and he will be more desperate, more frightened, more nervous and more self-blaming than any of the respondents in the Oxford professor's survey.

Another person's end is hypothetical, his end is real.

He can't handle the indifference that doesn't matter to him, so he'll be miserable.

He always thinks that so many people, after generations of struggle and hard work, still have to face the doomsday when their vitality is completely cut off.

All will die, all will die, and all will be ruthlessly erased of the traces of what ever existed.

It's obvious that we've worked so hard.

But our enemy is too strong, and there is an unimaginable force behind the enemy.

I...what do I do?

I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I let you down.

This time... I failed to cross!

Sometimes my memory is too good to forget, which is also a great sadness.

The essence of the so-called forgetting does not need to be repeated, but the meaning of forgetting to people is not only the loss of some memories, but also a kind of self-protection ability of human beings.

The most forgettable thing, the most unstable quantum helix in the human brain, is the very thing that causes pain.

Under the imperceptible impact of emotional needs, these painful quantum spirals that make up memories will continue to be impacted and collapse at a faster rate.

However, in the process of Chen Feng's increasing genetic arousal, his memory is getting stronger and stronger, and his talent for forgetting is getting weaker and weaker.

He will remember good things, and he will also remember painful feelings.

Chen Feng can clearly perceive that with the continuous improvement of genetic arousal, in addition to the changes in physical fitness, the memory, logical analysis ability, and thinking acuity of the human brain are constantly improving. Perception capabilities are also continuously improving.

However, pain is always deeper in memory. When most people recall their childhood, most of the images of sadness and anger come to their minds.

Happy memories are always very short and ethereal.

Therefore, as memory improves, the emotional impact of pain becomes stronger.

To face this ever-increasing emotional impact, the human need for willpower is also invisibly rising.

Willpower is a very mysterious thing.

The will often changes with people's knowledge, knowledge, and experiences. At the same time, it is also based on the current world view and the historical precipitation handed down by the entire civilization.

Chen Feng gradually understood one thing.

No wonder the genetic arousal of humans in the 21st century is only 25%.

This is clearly a biological self-protection instinct.

Humans are not equipped to do so when they cannot bear their weight.

Weak populations have too strong thinking ability in advance, which does not necessarily bring a better future.

It is more likely that there will be a large-scale psychological collapse in the population, which will lead to the collapse of civilization.

Assuming that there is a second 21st century "indigenous" who has the same arousal and thinking ability as him at this time, let alone make any achievements, I am afraid that the pain of super memory hoarding in the heart will make The man instantly collapsed and turned into a lunatic.

Chen Feng was able to hold on to it because he had gone to the future many times before growing up slowly, or maybe he himself has some talent in endurance.

But no matter how strong the willpower is, it takes time to eliminate negative emotions. It is impossible to deceive oneself and say that I am okay, and it is really okay.

At this point, Chen Feng couldn't control his emotions any more, he clasped his head in his hands, and kept rubbing his hair.

He was in an unspeakable loss and grief.

He pulled out his notebook full of "Five Hundred Years Plan" and looked at the handwriting on the back of his own words.

Chen Feng took a deep breath, and in his mind the heaven and man were at war. He kept deducing and calculating. He tried to deceive himself to come to a conclusion. He wanted to deceive himself. must be successful.

However, after a long time, he violently threw the notebook forward.

Clap!

The thick book is printed on the large screen TV in front.

Chen Feng looked up at the sky, his hands trembling uncontrollably.

Impossible, lost.

I can't lie to myself.

It's all my fault, if I worked harder and fought harder, maybe I would have succeeded?

I haven't done enough.

I...I am a sinner!

His eyes were sore, and his heart was indescribable grief.

In his mind, he can't help but imagine the scene of human defeat and demise after a thousand years.

At this moment, the bedroom door was opened, and Zhong Lei in men's pajamas walked in.

She didn't see Chen Feng for a while, but lowered her head and muttered some melody.

Then she raised her head again, and saw Chen Feng, whose face was as gray as she was going crazy with epilepsy. She jumped up in shock, "What's wrong with you?"

Chen Feng's dead fish eyes slowly turned to Zhong Lei's face.

Looking at her concerned eyes, Chen Feng's eyes gradually regained some vitality.

He took a deep breath and said slowly in a sad tone that others could not understand: "Zhong Lei, I failed, I failed to travel. I didn't have the past. I lost the ability to travel through time and space to change the future. I...we Lost. In a thousand years, humanity will cease to exist."

Seeing Chen Feng's rare and extremely decadent appearance, Zhong Lei was stunned for a long time.

Then she slowly sat on the edge of the bed, picked up Chen Feng's hand, and scratched lightly with her fingertips in his palm, "Didn't we already think about this thoroughly yesterday?"

"Huh?"

"Are you on the point? We are the left behind! The future you are still waiting for us to create a better present for him! How can you be sure that you lost the ability to travel, not us Left behind? Do you have evidence? If there is no evidence to prove it, why don't you think in a good direction? What are you thinking?"

Chen Feng was shocked and stunned.

The two stared at each other for five minutes.

He scratched his head awkwardly, "Yeah. Is it possible?"

Zhong Lei patted his head, "It's not possible, but it must be. We must believe this and tell ourselves this!"

"Ha...haha...yes right."

Chen Feng suddenly realized one thing.

No wonder in the previous timeline, after each time-travel, the self would have a period of dormancy for a period of time, not showing up much, not dealing with people, or even doing anything, looking like a salted fish.

He didn't really take it seriously at the time and didn't think there was a big problem.

In the past, every time he flipped through history books, his perspective spanned thousands of years, and even his "short" life in the past often lasted a hundred years.

In such a long time span, a mere one or two month window period is really inconspicuous.

From the perspective of historical data, even though Chen Feng himself did not make a public appearance during this period, he was still behind the scenes on the things he originally planned to change, so if he didn't think about it carefully, he couldn't find the strangeness in it.

Now Chen Feng understands.

Actually, this time is my down time.

Such pain and panic are experienced every time.

You must complete the psychological construction and tell yourself that there is a possibility in this way before you can adjust and return to work.

If Zhong Lei wasn't around today, Chen Feng felt that with his personality, he would probably choose to hide, then gradually recover, slowly come out of the horns, and through constant self-encouragement and spiritual suggestion, he chose to paralyze himself, Only by believing in the second and better possibility can we strive for life along the established policy with great willpower.

This process is easy to say, but how many negative emotions, how many psychological twists and turns, how many struggles in the quagmire of despair, Chen Feng can only guess and imagine, it is hard to describe.

He grinned suddenly and squeezed Zhong Lei's hand in turn, "Fortunately I have you this time."

Zhong Lei: "Yes. It should be."

"It's nice to have you."

After a moment of silence, Zhong Lei suddenly grinned, "But from now on, the two of us are destined to disappear, fake people."

Chen Feng was stunned for a moment, then smiled, "Ha, okay, but that's not important."

"Yes, it doesn't matter. What matters is how much civilization's wealth we two false people can leave for the future and the truth of the future."

"Well, cheer up and get to work."

Chen Feng chatted with Zhong Lei for a while, and then had a busy breakfast together, then drove her to Mason College in person.

Yes, Zhong Lei lied last night.

She did not take time off.

Chen Feng watched Zhong Lei enter the gate of Mason College.

She turned around as she walked into the corridor.

The two waved from a distance.

Chen Feng turned around, got in the car, and was about to drive away.

Zhong Lei called him again.

"Actually, I came up with a new song this morning. I'm not going to class today, so I'll figure out the lyrics and basic melody first."

"What song?"

"Happiness to the nth power."

"Hey, what a cheesy song title."

"Happiness is a very tacky thing, chai, rice, oil, salt, sauce and vinegar."

Chen Feng smiled, "But I believe this song will definitely be very special."

"Of course. By the way, I've recently learned to yordle again. I'll let you listen next time."

"Huh? Into the song?"

"No."

"When will I listen?"

"You guessed it."

Then Zhong Lei hung up the phone.

Chen Feng scratched his head for a moment, but smirked for a while, and continued to drive.

Life goes on, and the future remains unknown.

Everyone has to fight in their own way.

Chen Feng is going to the headquarters of the North American branch.

He thought of Fatty O again in his mind.

Fat man must be busy reading reports and familiarizing himself with the business.

When he arrived yesterday, Fatty had already signed up for the MBA program at the University of California, Berkeley.

Actually, Fatty already has an MBA certificate, but he is going to study again to make up for the mistakes he made in the past.

Recently, the fat man has recently developed a not-so-good mantra.

"Master, I will not let you down, nor will I let down my dad, my daughter-in-law and my children!"

Chen Feng doesn't really like the fat man's mantra.

He has a different opinion.

The fat man's words reminded him of the mind cocoon of the 31st century in the previous timeline.

Chen Feng also reacted to one of the biggest problems with people's outlook on life in the previous timeline.

At that time, people struggled and worked hard not for themselves, but for the recognition of others.

This includes a wide range of others, family members, relatives, friends, teachers, colleagues, anyone in the whole society, and the ancients who "know under the spring".

Take the Galaxy Warrior as an example. When most people become Galaxy Warriors, they think that they can make their family honored and the community's social status higher.

He had a particularly deep feeling when he returned to the capital of Shu. Those family members and relatives at that time appreciated his various expectations, and were also proud of his achievements.

At the same time, other family members are always eager to get his approval, but the family friendship is very weak~IndoMTL.com~ Everyone is still busy, trying their best to do their own thing, and what they say is, I will never give you this Shame on top fighters.

Going back in time, since 2500, the core beliefs that have supported the world have become to prevent the sage Chen Feng's efforts in vain and not let the predecessors and martyrs disappoint.

On the surface, this is a good habit and a shortcut to a firm will, but taking shortcuts must pay a price.

The price is that later generations artificially constructed a thinking cocoon room.

Chen Feng now thinks this is all wrong.

A person's belief support should not be based on the approval of others.

The essence of this outlook on life is vanity and part of the core framework of the thinking cocoon.

People's motivation should be more based on self-driving.

Belief should be self-realization of life value.

Internal power is stronger, more durable and stable than external power.