I Really Didn’t Want to Be the Savior Chapter 604: Sacrifice, self-blame, feedback
"I really don't want to be a savior ()"
Tong Ling rejected Qin Guang's promotion order on behalf of the fleet command.
That's what she said at the time.
"Since 2685, when I became a warrior for the first time in the Battle of the Traveller, by now in 2713, I have fought on the battlefield for twenty-eight years, participating in seven large-scale battles in total and performing one thousand three special missions. One hundred and sixty-two times. I am still alive, and I have the credit for my own efforts to survive, but the most important reason why I am alive is that many comrades in arms have sacrificed their lives to cover me again and again.”
"My rank has gone up step by step, from lieutenant to major general, but my comrades have been changing, and very few have been able to fight alongside me until now. I often have the illusion that my shoulders The light of the military badge is dyed by the blood of my comrades. The more comrades I lose, the more dazzling the badge will be.”
"I'm always complimented by others, saying that I am invincible and invincible, and my comrades in the Vito system even called me the Pioneer Goddess. I deserve it. But in the Vito system, I He is a role model for everyone, no matter whether I am at ease or not, I have to bear these honors and titles.”
"I'm getting numb, thinking that I can do better and be worthy of others' sacrifices for me. I think I'm used to sacrifice, I think I've got a heart of stone."
"But I've never experienced such a mission. 267 people were dispatched, and I was the only one who returned. I was wrong. Every comrade in arms has the right to live. No one is born to sacrifice for others. I shouldn't be numb, much less calm. They gave me their energy and their lives, and I came back alone."
Tong Ling's tone paused for a while: "I... I'm really fed up."
"If I had enabled myself to have the capabilities at that time earlier, we could have prepared enough external energy modules for the T100 when we set off, or some intelligent weapons could act as space tankers. Then we would have Opportunity to avoid more sacrifices, at least dozens more people can come back.”
"I am too selfish, I am ashamed of my talent, I am ashamed of everyone's cultivation, my mistakes are unforgivable, so I can't afford the rank of lieutenant general."
Tong Ling's tone is flat, but her attitude is extremely firm.
Qin Guang left angrily, and even the commendation meeting was cancelled because Tong Ling was unwilling to cooperate.
When Qin Guang left, Gao Xiaoqi and Opu tried to persuade him.
Tong Ling jumped off the medical bed and waved her hand, "I'm fine. You can do your own thing, I'm going to train."
"Ah! Big sister..."
Gao Xiaoqi seemed to want to say something, but Tong Ling was gone.
……
Fanxing has stopped talking with Chen Feng, and has mobilized most of the computing power to cooperate with the analysis work of the Solar System Xingfeng Research Institute.
Yang Zhonghua has transmitted back a large amount of data related to crystal tardigrades previously captured through a one-way encrypted channel.
The data comes from not only Tong Ling's slashing feedback, but also the dramatic changes that occurred when the tardigrades were devoured in the zero universe after the detonation of the fragmentation bomb.
The large-scale creatures composed of virtual energy that can survive in the real energy universe have extremely high reference value, and are likely to bring a new technological change to human beings, further narrowing the gap between human beings and the mastermind behind the scenes.
Human scientists and Fanxing will do their best to decipher in depth.
Chen Feng was not busy, and only focused on Tong Ling.
The analysis report placed in front of Chen Feng said that when Tong Ling entered the "God of War state", her mind was completely immersed in the simulation training, and the quantum storm of brain thinking was deeply integrated with Chen Feng's simulated combat personality in the T100 brain. At this time, her intuitive reaction ability has reached the limit of her ability, and her instant reaction, judgment, and nerve-controlled physical state have also reached its peak.
The synthesis and decomposition of adenosine triphosphate were accelerated to more than ten times the normal speed, and her body seemed to continue to explode with countless small nuclear explosions,
At this time, her logical ability, dynamic intuition, predictive ability, and reaction ability were just like Chen Feng himself, breaking through the limits of the human brain.
This allows her to control the T100 to do things no one else could imagine.
But she and Chen Feng are fundamentally different.
Tong Ling's "God of War state" is not innate, part of it comes from her own hard training, and the other part comes from Chen Feng's simulated personality left in T100, which belongs to forcibly doing what she can't do through acquired hard work It's like the ancient young swordsman carried the backlash and mastered the peerless magic soldier that did not belong to him.
The advantage of this is that it allows Tong Ling to gain personal abilities that surpass the times, proving that the value of human beings can also surpass that of technology, but the disadvantage is that it makes her thinking infected by the simulated personality, which will gradually lose The diversity of chaotic thinking, judgment unconsciously relies more on intuition, and thinking gradually becomes quantized and mechanized.
Her mentality suddenly collapsed, sinking into self-blame and refusing to give her own spirit relief. This is the reason why she firmly refuses promotion and recognition.
She should have realized that other people sacrificed for her not for her personally.
As long as there is a choice, everyone wants to live.
The martyrs died generously just because they believed in her ability and believed that it would be more beneficial for the entire fleet and the race to make her perform better.
Sacrifice in war is inevitable, but if the purpose of the sacrifice of the martyrs is forcibly locked on the individual, it will be disrespectful to the martyrs.
If Tong Ling survives and accepts the rank and commendation calmly, then her deeds with the 266 martyrs in the Han world will always inspire others.
In the eyes of the members of the Unknown Fleet, she Tong Ling is no longer a separate individual. The spirit and will of the 266 martyrs will live on her lieutenant's epaulets forever.
Tong Ling didn't realize all of this.
Qin Guang is too indulgent to her.
Chen Feng could intervene forcefully and force her to change her mind, but Chen Feng did not intend to do so.
Some things have to be understood by oneself, and the coercion of others will only backfire.
……
"Lieutenant General Tong Ling, please wait a moment, we need to carry out an emergency inspection and debugging of your armor. After all, it has just been restored, and we have installed ten times the energy module. I am very sorry, we did not expect you to come. So soon. Shouldn't you be honored on the Fleet Radio Channel by now?"
The technical director of the logistics department said nervously to Tong Ling, who was still wearing the casualty's uniform.
Tong Ling shook her head, "I'm not a lieutenant general. What you just said were all external equipment, right? I just need to use the whole brain to link the cockpit, is that okay?"
"Well, that's fine."
"Ok, thank you."
Tong Ling sat back in the cockpit of the T100.
Compared to seven days ago, some minor changes have taken place in the cockpit and some equipment has been upgraded.
Some modules with obvious splicing marks have become more natural, and the entire cockpit seems to have grown like this~IndoMTL.com~ Countless biological link lines slowly twist along the special metal surface, like a rainbow .
The Neural Link Board has also undergone a huge change, no longer a flat plate, but a deep penetration equipment that covers the whole body.
Tong Ling whispered, "Start."
The next moment, the chair under her softened quickly, then spread upward, wrapping around her cheeks all the way under her feet.
She was wrapped like a mummy, and countless molecular-level neural links penetrated her skin along the organic combat suit and connected with her neurons and the nerve endings in the body.
Tong Ling trembled slightly, then closed her eyes.
Her consciousness re-integrated with Chen Feng's simulated personality in T100.
It's a little bit different than the last time.
She is no longer in a coma, no longer loses active consciousness, but maintains her own reason and thoughts.
"Hello, dear pinnacle warrior, and welcome. The armor is being debugged and temporarily unavailable. What are you going to do now?"
Chen Feng's simulated personality imitated Brother T's voice according to the preset instructions and said to Tong Ling.
Tong Ling whispered in her heart: "I want to re-challenge the ultimate assessment for simulation training."
"You have not fully recovered, and there is a certain risk of injury. Please confirm if you want to start the assessment?"
"OK."
Chen Feng took everything in his eyes and shook his head slightly.
This girl is demonic.
Five minutes later, Chen Feng's expression changed instantly.
He discovered something very strange.
As Tong Ling re-entered the final assessment there and began to perform various simulated maneuvers, his own thinking could not help but produce corresponding reactions.
Tong Ling's fighting instinct is being fed back to him through the resonance between Chen Feng and the simulated personality!