Heroine’s Road to Becoming Scum: The thirty-fifth bowl of soup (three & four)

Tong Man didn't know where she was going either, she just felt suffocated by staying in the same place with Tan Rui. In fact, she had turned her love into deep pain, and that pain was deeply buried in her heart. She thought she was hiding it deeply, but even her cold body would still trigger the pain again.

She casually turned into a bar that looked very lively. Someone came up to talk to her, and she didn't refuse.

But, even a man's body temperature is only temporary. The cold that radiates from the depths of the soul has no way to relieve it.

After she got dressed, she turned and left the hotel, and met Tan Rui on the street with the wrong button on her clothes. He grabbed her and growled: "Where have you been?!"

Tong Man took his hand away and continued to walk forward as if he hadn't seen him. Tan Rui chased after him and seemed to be a bit furious: "Are you listening to me? You—"

"Hey! Miss!"

Tong Man looked back and saw that it was the man who had a one-night stand with her—if only a few hours of physical entanglement could be called a one-night stand. She looked at the man blankly, but Tan Rui looked at her and then at the man. The man was a little embarrassed when he saw Tan Rui, and asked Tong Man, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Tong Man shook his head.

The man laughed again, shook the phone he had been holding and asked Tong Man, "Are you interested in leaving a phone call with each other? We can meet again in the future, like today...you know."

Tong Man waved his hand: "No need."

After she finished speaking, she took Tan Rui's hand off her wrist and continued on her way home. The man who is rejected is very gentlemanly, and the one-night stand is about your love and my wishes. If both parties are willing, it is not a bad idea to develop into a long-term friend. But for now, although he is very satisfied with Tong Man, Tong Man has no interest in him.

Tan Rui stood in place for more than a minute before he realized what the two of them were doing. His heart was angered, and he couldn't believe Tong Man spoiled herself like this. He chased after him angrily, grabbing Tong Man's shoulders: "Stop! Explain it to me! What's going on?!"

"Is it difficult to understand?" Tong Man glanced at him. "Just one night stand."

"How could you do this to yourself?! What about your self-esteem? Your—"

"You have a girlfriend and you did it with me. You have no right to talk about me." Tong Man's body began to tremble slightly again, she didn't understand, why was it - so cold? She reached out and pushed Tan Rui, who was standing in front of her, but she couldn't push it too high, so she had to choose to walk around him.

Tan Rui was stunned for a while, Tong Man's words seemed to hit somewhere in his heart. Now he doesn't know why he was bewitched by Tong Man, and even went to bed with Tong Man. Maybe a person can deceive oneself, but the body's reaction is unavoidable, he still misses Tongman's body - if it's just pure guilt, then it's impossible, right?

Tan Rui closed his eyes, he felt very confused, he needed to think about it. When he returned to his senses to chase after Tong Man, Tong Man's figure had long since disappeared from his sight.

No car, no money, nothing on her body, Tong Man walks aimlessly, her eyes are blurred, and everything around her is familiar. She used to be very moved, because she finally has a home and has someone who loves and cares for her. Husband, maybe there will be a lovely child in the future. But then there was nothing left, it was just a self-righteous dream, in which she was the only one indulging in it, and everyone else watched, laughed, and watched from the sidelines. When she broke free from the dream, they laughed in return.

Tong Man was tired from walking. She saw a park not far away, so she went in and found a bench to sit and rest. She... looked around with blurry eyes, and was suddenly attracted by the strange movement in the grass not far away.

Tong Man is not a very curious person, but the voice in her heart told her that she must take a look.

So she followed the call from the bottom of her heart and walked over, walking lightly. The people inside may or may not have heard it, but it doesn't matter. Because Tong Man only saw the dismembered corpses, scattered around the lawn, the most terrifying thing was that the man didn't seem to be dead. The man stared at Tong Man with his mouth open and seemed a little surprised. , but was pleasantly surprised. If you carefully identify the mouth shape, it should be saying please help me.

Tong Man stood there and watched for a while, then turned and walked away.

The next day, she saw the bold headline in the social version: Corpses were found in the park, and the deceased suffered terrifying torture before they died! ! ! There are also three exclamation points. Tong Man's monthly salary is not much, and she basically spends nothing except electricity bills, so she uses it to subscribe to newspapers. She ordered a copy of any newspaper, and she didn't necessarily read it, she just wanted to order it.

Then she will throw away the mountain of newspapers she has accumulated.

Tan Rui didn't come back after that day, and Tong Man didn't want him to come. In all fairness, she still loves him, and her heart was still beating when she saw him, but Tong Man couldn't understand why Tan Rui had to get her forgiveness, she could never forgive them, and they didn't need her forgive.

Speaking of which, she has nothing to blame Tan Rui. It was a fair deal at all. She was self-indulgent and thought it was a good marriage, so she had to run it. Tan Rui respected her very much and didn't tell her that it was actually her parents who took his money and sold her - no, it was "married" and married to Tan Rui. Although he didn't see a single cent of that money, the truth was here.

Sadly, the reason why Tan Rui wanted to marry her was because she looked a lot like Yan Lan, and the woman he loved left him, so he was sad and didn't know what to do, and accidentally saw her like a god. On the one hand, she wanted to find some solace, on the other hand, she wanted to give up her mind to forget about Yan Lan, so she came to discuss with her parents about marrying her.

No one asked Tong Man anything from beginning to end, but Tong Man agreed without thinking, because she knew about Tan Rui's existence a long time ago and had a crush on him. She never dreamed that her dream would come true one day, so she couldn't see the Asura **** with white bones beneath this beautiful paradise on earth.

She put herself in this horrible relationship, ridiculously trying to ask for a happy ending. She hoped that her parents would treat her better in addition to loving her brother, and that Tan Rui would like her more - she didn't know that she would become like this in the future.

At that time, I was full of kindness towards the world, full of confidence in myself, and longing for the future marriage life.

Even if she knows that Yan Lan is back, even if she knows that Tan Rui's heart is no longer with her - no, Tan Rui's heart has never been with her. All she has to do is return Tan Rui to Yan Lan - isn't it such a simple thing? But Tongman was reluctant.

The consequence of her reluctance is that Tan Rui will help her.

Tong Man will never forget that late night two years ago. On their way back from their parents' house, Yan Lan learned that Tan Rui was going to cut the line with her and cut her wrists to commit suicide. Tan Rui got the news on the way, but she didn't dare to tell Tong Man the truth, so she asked her to get out of the car and take a taxi by herself. Go back and say that the company has a big case that went wrong.

Tan Rui didn't know her at all, so she didn't know that her hearing was terrible. In the passenger seat, she could hear clearly.

Then she gets out of the car and he walks away.

Perhaps he returned to look for her after realizing that she hadn't come home, but it was too late, she was no longer the Tongman she used to be. The Tong Man who was able to dig out his heart and give it to Tan Rui died that night, and was replaced by Tong Man with a stagnant heart.

How can one person do this for another? She was a complete cannon fodder from beginning to end, as if she appeared only to adjust the relationship between Tan Rui and Yan Lan. The more she doesn't leave Tan Rui, the more others think that Tan Rui is more affectionate than Jin Jian, and she... and she is the one who covets Tan Rui and occupies the position of Tan Rui's wife.

Tong Man has been reflecting on her own mistakes for a long time. She felt that she was wrong from the beginning. She shouldn't be so stupid that she didn't find any clues in her life, she shouldn't be so stupid that even Tan Rui occasionally called the wrong name and refused to face the reality.

Actually, he thought he knew her, and the things he thought she liked were not what she liked, but what Yan Lan liked. They have similar faces, so she is the most perfect stand-in in the world.

She thought he liked dignified and gentle women - that's not the case, Tan Rui likes Yan Lan, not Yan Lan's type of woman.

Tong Man hugged herself tightly, no one in the world can give her warmth, no.

Unconsciously, she fell on the sofa and fell asleep again. It was pitch black in her sleep, except for the sound of blood flowing. The soul rests quietly on the ground, she feels as if she is flying, flying higher and higher, flying all the way to the sky, looking down through the clouds, seeing so many people happy, and then in the dark is her own whispering sobbing .

A doorbell woke Tong Man up. She slowly put on her slippers and opened the door.

Outside the door is Yan Lan.

She holds a bouquet of flowers and wears a white woolen coat. Even if they have similar faces, no one will mistake them for both. Especially now that Tong Man is wrapped up like a little bear, with pale face and messy hair, while Yan Lan is graceful, they don't look alike at all, right?

"Uh...I came uninvited, I don't know if I bothered you?" Yan Lan asked nervously.

She also spoke in a very nice, soft voice.

Tong Man opened the door casually, Yan Lan came in with the flowers in her arms, still a little nervous and said, "I don't know what kind of flowers you like, so I bought lilies... Are you okay?"

She looked at the living room. There were mountains of newspapers, an air conditioner, a sofa, and nothing else. There is no telephone, no TV and no entertainment facilities. It seems that Tong Man lives here because of the air.

Yan Lan bit her lip and said to Tong Man, "I want to apologize to you..."

"Apologize?" Tong Man shook his head. "Nothing to apologize for."

"It's me and Tan Rui who have gone too far." Yan Lan looked at Tong Man sincerely, "I really hope you can forgive us, otherwise we won't be able to be together at all, neither of us will be able to leave. Get out of that hurdle in your heart..."

Tong Man knelt on the sofa and wrapped herself with the quilt: "You won, that's why you feel guilty. If I were still with Tan Rui, you would only want to kill me."

"I didn't think about it that much—" Yan Lan hurriedly defended.

"Pity, guilt, these are things only the victors have." Tong Man said sternly. "If you came here to say this, you don't have to. I didn't plan to ask you anything."

Yan Lan opened her mouth, and it could be seen that Tong Man didn't really want to listen to her, so she closed her mouth a little embarrassedly, and was about to get up and leave when she saw Tan Rui walking in with a plastic bag. The two of them met in Tongman's territory, and they both felt it was incredible.

"Why are you here?"

"Why are you here?"

The two asked in unison, feeling guilty and embarrassed only after the questioning. It turned out that the two of them, one said there was something urgent to deal with today, and the other said they had to work overtime, and they both pushed dinner away, but all they thought of was coming to Tong Man!

And just happened to meet!

Tong Man wrapped in a quilt and watched the two meet, her eyes were flat, without the slightest feeling.

"Uh, the security in this community is not very good recently. There was a murder case in a small park not far away a few days ago. I don't think it's perfect for Tong Man to live here alone, so I want to ask someone to help her pretend. A set of monitoring equipment." Tan Rui first explained, "What about you? What are you doing here?"

"I... just want to talk to Tong Man, and I'm also very worried about her mental state." Yan Lan said, walked to Tan Rui's side, and took one of his arms, but Tan Rui was at a loss at this moment. A little stiff, he didn't respond to her and didn't look at her, as if he didn't dare.

Tong Man propped up her ears and listened to the two of them. She didn't laugh or answer. After a while, she said, "You can go, I don't need you to worry about my affairs."

"How can we not care about your affairs?" Yan Lan was anxious, "We made you like this, no matter what, I can't just watch you fall down-"

Who fell? Tong Man thought. She's not fallen, she's just—trying to live with her own destiny, is this also wrong?

"Okay, don't talk about it." Tan Rui pulled Yan Lan's hand and put the plastic bag in his hand in front of Tong Man, telling her that it was food, let her eat it while it was hot, and then talk to Tong Man. Yan Lan left hand in hand.

You see, they are all like this, coming and going in her life, as if she would always stand quietly and serve them. Tong Man looked at the bag in front of him coldly, without the urge to eat, but hid his head and continued to sleep.

Tan Rui needs work, Yan Lan also needs work, neither of them can come to her anytime, anywhere, so Tong Man spent a few days of quiet and undisturbed days, during which the security company came to the door to install surveillance on her, She stayed out of the house as if she hadn't heard. Later, whether it was Tan Rui or Yan Lan, she pretended not to know, didn't answer when she didn't open the door, and didn't answer the phone when it rang. Tong Man really didn't understand what the two of them wanted. It didn't matter if she wanted her to say something to them?

Maybe, maybe she used to say it, but now she doesn't. Since we don't owe each other, there is no excuse and it doesn't matter. That's it, if you want to go, just turn around and walk away, you don't need to tell me, and you don't need to ask for my forgiveness. Because as long as I love you for one day, I will never be able to forgive you.

The cold winter gradually passed, and slowly, Tongman waited until spring.

In the season of revival of all things, the willow trees on the street have sprouted young shoots, the grass is bright green, and everything seems to be so vibrant. Everyone on the street is busy with life, everyone is alive and well, and everyone is not cold. When the spring sun hits the body, it is even less cold. When the men and women on the street were wearing spring clothes, Tong Man was still wrapped in a thick down jacket. The extent to which she is afraid of the cold is surprising, but she never says why.

One day Tong Man's cell phone rang. She looked at the number on it. It was from her mother, so she picked it up. Her mother, who never contacted her, took the initiative to look for her. Of course, she didn't miss her or worry about her. But because she still has some use value.

Tong's mother cried and told Tong Man that her younger brother had enlarged a female classmate's belly at school, and the female classmate's family went to their house to make trouble and insisted that their family lose money. For the sake of their son's reputation, Tong's mother and Tong's father naturally wanted to chat privately, otherwise it would not look good for the two of them to file a lawsuit.

Tong Man said: "Aren't you rich? Didn't Tan Rui give you one million betrothal gifts two years ago, just take it out and give it to others."

Tong's mother immediately retorted: "How can I do that? I've already deposited it in the bank!"

"What do you want?"

"You go to Tan Rui again, didn't he give you alimony after you divorced? Go ask him for more money, pay your brother the money, and add the rest to our hand. Yes, it's just enough for him to buy a house in city a! You don't know, what kind of good house can one million buy? I want to be closer to the city center and have better conditions , too difficult!"

Tong Man thought, Tan Rui and I are not divorced, how can I go to someone to ask for alimony? But he said: "He won't give me money, he has a very good girlfriend now."

As soon as the mother on the other end of the phone heard it, she immediately became annoyed: "Tell me about you, what's the use of you? I couldn't do things well since I was a child, and I was not diligent. I finally got into a good university. Get married as soon as you come out, even if you get married, you can't catch a man's heart! If you can't catch a man's heart, you need more money! You can't even get money! You give me Tan Rui's number, and I'll talk to you. He said!"

Tong Man directly hung up the phone, then stood in a daze. When she was very young, she did all the work at home, and her brother never stretched out his hand. Today, he doesn't even know how to use a water heater! After graduating from university, she was planning to find a job, but Tong's mother directly accepted Tan Rui's money to let her get married, but now from what Tong's mother said, it seemed that Tong Man deserved everything!

She has begun to wonder what's right and what's wrong. Who is right and who is wrong?

That was her fate.

Tong Man didn't answer the phone calls from home again. They called a lot at first, but they didn't call much later. Tong Man didn't want to know what happened to them. It wasn't until soon after Tan Rui came to her and found that she had lost weight again and said, "Did you not eat on time again?"

Tong Man ignored him, but saw that his cell phone was on. At that time, Tan Rui was holding it in his hand, but he didn't answer it, but hung up immediately, and then looked at Tong Man with a guilty conscience, as if very Afraid that she would know who the caller was. Tong Man suddenly asked, "Did my mother call you?"

Tan Rui didn't have time to respond, but Tong Man immediately understood: "I want to ask you for money? How much?"

Tan Rui's lips moved: "Two million."

Tong Man burst out laughing, she really thought it was ridiculous and sad, she laughed and tears fell, "Two million, so my alimony is so much, that's all, you bring the divorce agreement Is the book here? I'll sign it for you, go away after signing it, and don't give them any more money, it's a bottomless pit that will never be satisfied."

"We cannot get a divorce for now."

"What?" Tong Man was stunned for a moment.

"I..." Tan Rui seemed a little hard to say, "I don't know."

"Don't know what?"

Tan Rui shook his head and said nothing. Those unspeakable feelings and doubts took root in his heart. From that night when he couldn't refuse Tong Man, from that day he saw Tong Man having a relationship with another man's mood swings, these emotions were unfamiliar and familiar - once only It happened to Yan Lan.

Finally, he asked tentatively: "You say, is it possible for one person to fall in love with two people at the same time?"

Hearing this, Tong Man seemed to hear some big joke: "If this is the case, it is not appropriate for you to use love, you should ask, it is possible for a person to have desires for two people at the same time | That's not love."

"It's greed."

After finishing speaking, Tong Man whispered softly: "If you marry a red rose, over time, the red one will become a smear of mosquito blood on the wall, and the white one will still be 'bright moonlight in front of the bed'; if you marry a white rose, the white one will It is a grain of rice stick on the clothes, but the red one is a cinnabar mole on the heart." (Note)

Then she asked, "It doesn't matter whether you like red roses or white roses, which one you lose is your favorite."

"No, not like that..."

Tong Man watched him stand up hastily and fled, reached out and grabbed Tan Rui's trousers: "Don't give them money."

"What?"

"Don't give them any more money, please take back what you have given, and don't tell them we haven't divorced yet, in that case they'll just target me." Tong Man pleaded. "If you really feel any guilt towards me, please leave me alone."

Tan Rui stood there without speaking for a while.