The Exorcist Chapter 46: The right to be weak

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Ruan Zhan was as motionless as a piece of wood, but his heart was like boiling water, boiling his already riddled soul!

Ye Feng Huan, Yin and Yang poles, are you sure he is dead?

I still remember the smile on Sima Nan's lips when he was about to die. There was a trace of ridicule, a trace of compassion, a trace of sympathy, and a trace of heartache, which made people's hearts palpitate. Does he know everything? Knowing that Ruan Zhan's life was just a joke, a meaningless scam!

He asked Sima Nan three questions: first, the relationship between them; second, his life experience; third, his father's mysterious death? Sima Nan only answered these three sentences without any explanation. At that time, he did not think that Sima Nan was being mysterious, because he thought that Sima Nan must have his own reasons because he did not explain it. But for the first answer, he knew the answer immediately.

Night wind ring.

He didn’t know what sect his father belonged to, but he knew that the most powerful spell in his father’s sect was called Wind Blade. Later, the reason why he practiced Fire Hand Seal and Palm Thunder first was because Wind Blade required higher spiritual power. , he needs to improve his strength after unlocking his seal. But he didn't know this when he was a child. He only occasionally watched his father use the wind blade to beat a very fierce ghost into disappearing in an instant, and he liked it very much. But although he liked it, he didn't ask his father to learn, because his father always conveyed to him the message that they were just two strangers staying together. They didn't need to be too close, and he wasn't qualified to ask for something that didn't belong to him. anything. He was eight years old at the time and had not yet begun to be forcibly taught any knowledge about Taoism by his father.

That summer, he and Wan Li got into a fight with the older kids on the street and suffered trauma. Because he concealed the injury and refused to report it, the wound was not cleaned in time and became infected. Eventually, he had a high fever and was tortured in the hospital. It took more than a week to save his life, and his father took him home to rest.

One night it was very hot and stuffy. He was lying in the unventilated room, feeling extremely uncomfortable. However, he was unable to go to the yard to enjoy the cool air because of fatigue. When he was thinking about what to do, he suddenly saw his father slowly walking in. . This made him a little strange, because the father and son seldom talked, and his father rarely entered his room. From the day he was adopted, he learned to take care of himself. I saw my father pacing in the room for a while, as if he had something difficult to decide, and then he sat on the head of his bed, grabbed the ball in the air in an elegant manner, and then swung it at his face.

Immediately he felt a gentle cool breeze blowing on his face. The wind moved from far to near, and the moment it touched his face, it suddenly spread to all directions, wrapping around his face like a ring. head, and then down the body.

He was still too young at that time. Although he had developed his current personality, he was still childish. The wind made him feel comfortable and fun, and he couldn't help but laugh. Say to your father, can you do it again?

My father did not speak, but did it again, and then did it again and again all night long, until he fell asleep. Even in his dream, he felt the wind ring blowing on him over and over again, making him It feels cool and gentle.

It was already early the next morning when he woke up, and his father was nowhere to be seen, but he would never forget what happened that night. His father, who had always been strict and taciturn, had a faint smile on his face, coaxing him, comforting him, and stroking his head, just like the most doting father. Afterwards, he plucked up the courage to ask about the details of that spell, and his father told him that it was called 'Night Wind Ring'. It was a small spell created by his father's master back then to make his apprentice happy. It was nothing. It is useful, but apart from my father, only the master can do it. Because the master promised his father that the spell was only created for him and would never be passed on to others.

So, when Sima Nan said these three words with a kind expression, he immediately knew that Sima Nan was his master. How ridiculous this is, no matter what kind of life and death struggle he had, he actually killed his master!

And when the three words 'yin and yang pole' entered his ears, his shock was indescribable! He didn't understand how Sima Nan knew about this!

He has had a strange black birthmark on the sole of his foot since he was a child. Because it was neither painful nor itchy, he never paid attention to it. However, once his father accidentally saw it and told him that that kind of birthmark was unique and was called Yin Yang Ji. , People with yin and yang poles have powerful innate talents, and they are only passed down between biological father and son. When he sees someone else with such birthmarks on the soles of their feet, that person is his biological father.

When he heard this sentence when he was young, he didn't believe it at all. He stubbornly believed that the man in his family was his biological father. He didn't know whether that man had a birthmark, but he knew that the man hated him and threw him into a coal truck as a child! He hated the man and woman who abandoned him very much. If it weren't for the fact that he was too young when he left home and didn't know where he was from, he would even have thoughts of revenge!

But today it seems that he hates the wrong person! The people who abandoned him were just his adoptive parents. When people discovered his strangeness, it was justifiable to fear that they would hate him. He hated someone who he shouldn't hate at all. But his biological father pretended to be his adoptive father and stayed with him for more than ten years. He said nothing to him and just treated him coldly! Let him still bear the burden of kindness when he longs for love but cannot get it, accept it cautiously, resist with worries, and still be full of gratitude for his 'gift'!

Presumably, what his father told him 'accidentally' back then was also intentional. But why? Why doesn't he admit it as his biological father? Before he could remember, had his father abandoned him or given him away? When he was sent back later, was it a deliberate arrangement or a coincidence?

Finally, he understood the complicated and incomprehensible look in his eyes when he was sent to his father by that ghost! He must have known who the child in front of him was at that time? So acceptance or rejection, love or hate, curiosity or surprise? At that moment, everything must have flooded into his mind.

But so what if you know? Why is he so cold and callous towards his biological son, giving him no warmth at all, yet teaching him so many things? Do you hate him or love him? Are you forced to take him in, or do you have other plans? Even if you have a dog, you will occasionally play with it, hold it and stroke its fur. Why can he be so cold, as if you don't want to have any emotional involvement with him? Not wanting to have a deep connection with him at all? Isn't he the closest and most flesh-and-blood person to him? !

Then why give him some warm memories, the ring of night wind waving in that summer night, and the baked egg yolk grass cake? Also, why did you tell him about the Yin and Yang poles? Was it to imply something?

Thinking of this, Ruan Zhan felt a sad sneer from the bottom of his heart. It doesn't matter anymore, how sad it is! He always thought that he was cold enough, but compared to his biological father, he really pales in comparison! At least he still has feelings and knows how to repay his benefactors, how to treat his friends with his life, and how to love his beloved woman like a treasure, but what about his father?

Nothing is as close as a father and a son, but he and his son have known each other for more than ten years like a pair of strangers who are benevolent and beneficiary. He also calmly told his only son that he would have a son who would be like a death sentence in the future. The same three difficulties appeared, as if his life and death had nothing to do with him!

So the answer to the third question is no longer important. Whether his father is dead or alive, it has nothing to do with him. Anyway, he doesn’t want to be involved with him. Anyway, he has been hiding this huge secret. . Besides, his father's fake death might have been hidden from him back then, but now he was sure that his father was really dead, at least physically. Why did he cheat his death before? Why does it appear now? Who was he killed by? Where did the soul go? Who is that person whose face has never been seen? This has nothing to do with him and he doesn't want to get involved!

Ruan Zhan couldn't tell whether he was angry or sad. He just felt that his life and death were so boring. He knew that he was in trouble when he was still a minor. The reason why he could survive calmly even though he knew the date of his death was because when his parents abandoned him, there was an adoptive father who could take him in. He felt that for this He couldn't give up the kindness of upbringing himself first, and he also had to find out the cause of his adoptive father's death. But now this reason no longer existed, and a ferocious thought suddenly arose in his heart. He really wanted to end his life immediately, so that all God's arrangements and his father's prophecies would fail! There will be no trouble at all, because before that, he ended everything by himself!

The neck is wet, who is crying so sadly? Where did the warmth come from from his chest to his whole body?

After Ruan Zhan developed that resolute world-weariness, he suddenly felt something strange. Pulling back from his dazed mind, he realized that he had stood up, holding the crystal knife with a blood line in his left hand, and pointing in the air with his right hand, as if he was about to fly away, but there were two arms tightly wrapped around his waist. , a person clinging to his chest.

"You have to take me wherever you want to go, even to hell!" A voice said willfully with tears in it.

In an instant, he woke up!

This is Xiaoxia's room. His crystal knife is hidden on the bookshelf here. His inner consciousness is directing him to return to his hometown and end his life in the old house to fight against all these unfair arrangements!

"Xiaoxia, let go." He said tiredly. He loved her so much, but at this moment he couldn't bear even this kind of love.

"I don't! I won't!" With the reply, the arm around Ruan Zhan's waist tightened, almost causing him to die.

"Let me go, Xiaoxia. I'm just——just——"

"You are just leaving and never coming back!"

"No."

"Yes! Don't lie to me, I'm not stupid. I won't let go, otherwise you will disappear in a flash! I can't stop you, so I can go wherever you want, but you have to take me with you Fuck me!" Xiaoxia continued to cry, tears falling on Ruan Zhan's heart, making his heart sour that he lost the power of hatred.

"Stop crying, did someone die?" He tried to joke, "Ah, someone died, but it was my father who died, and I was the one who was betrayed. Why are you crying? Are you still so sad?"

"I'm crying for you because you refuse to show weakness." Xiao Xialuo raised his head and looked at Ruan Zhan's cold face.

Although that handsome face looks calm, his eyes are full of absolute determination and anger, and all the lines are tense, as if he is fighting an unfair fate to the death! His expression was still full of endless sadness and helplessness, which made her wish she could take her own place, want to hurt him and grieve for him. Why is it that for the same people, only his fate is particularly bad? Why does he have to carry something that no one else has to carry? Why is his life so difficult and hopeless?

I thought I knew him, but then I realized that he was so stubborn. When faced with this complete blow, when the spiritual world he had built since childhood collapsed in an instant, he actually forced himself to straighten his back and refused. Show a little weakness in front of others. The tragic childhood of being without care and being repeatedly rejected shaped his lonely, tough and tenacious personality, but he may not know that no matter how strong a person is, he also has the right to be weak!

So, she felt even more sorry for his stubbornness and his fragility under his strong appearance!

"Cry for me?" Ruan Zhan murmured, the emotion in his words unclear.

Xiaoxia pulled down his arm that was still drawing the talisman in mid-air to eliminate the threat that he would suddenly disappear. Then she forcefully opened his other tightly held hand and unceremoniously took away the crystal knife that might be a treasure. Take it out, throw it to the ground casually, and wrap his arms around your shoulders.

"Now come and hold me." She said softly, "Transfer all your dissatisfaction and sadness to me, and let me cry out these sad things for you."

"Xiaoxia!" He tried to break away helplessly, but found that she was holding on to him.

"You have done so much for me, just let me help you once." Xiaoxia's tears flashed, "I can't let you leave me, I still have many things to do with you, let you go now , there will be no chance in the future. So, I want to help you relieve your burden. Come on, I beg you, just relax and don’t force yourself for a minute!"

His body was stiff, and it took a lot of effort for Xiaoxia to get him to bend a little, pressing her shoulder lightly.

The fragrance of her body and hair, and the warm breath on the back of her neck made the iceberg in his heart suddenly crack. He wanted to resist, but she desperately tried to melt him. He hesitated, unsure whether to obey her or not.

Try it, maybe you won’t be so tired if you relax. What scruples does he have in front of her? Moreover, if she didn't listen to her words, she would really not let him go and would pester him endlessly. Otherwise, this is the only time, only this time you can relax. Anyway, he didn't have much time.

These thoughts vaguely passed through his heart, making his body relax unconsciously. The relaxation of the body brought about emotional relaxation, and when his tense nerves gave up resistance, all the past events that no one knew about came to his mind, causing him to gradually give up his disguise, hug the person in his arms tightly, and put his body All the burdens inside were released to her, and all the weight on her body also hung on her.

Feeling his stiff body soften, Xiaoxia gritted her teeth and maintained her standing posture. He was much taller than her, which made her support the weight as if she couldn't stand, causing her to almost fall. But she was very happy that he could slowly get rid of the sudden emotion just now, and she was very happy that she could give him a little warmth. He is really a poor man. Although he looks elegant and has a strong personality, the stronger is often the weakest. She is really happy to help him share the burden.

He still didn't cry, maybe he had lost this function long ago, but he was trembling uncontrollably, and she let him silently vent the loneliness, bitterness and sadness of so many years!

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