Return To 1977 Chapter 8: Six relatives are like ice charcoal

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During the days when Hong Yanwu was imprisoned, there was a time when the curtains that had been sewn together came apart, revealing a gap.

He could see the branches of the trees in the garden downstairs through the light. What he likes most is watching the "visitors" on the branches, sometimes a few sparrows, sometimes a magpie.

Once, two squirrels climbed up a branch with fluffy tails. They chased each other and squeaked, seemingly communicating emotionally. Then, one squirrel took the fruit from the tree and shared it with another...

Although he couldn't tell the difference between male and female, and couldn't understand the language of the squirrels, he was still sure that they were a family. But just as he was lost in thought, suddenly a woman's hand stretched out in front of him and tightened the curtains.

The woman came to deliver porridge to him as a favor, but she happened to discover the secret of his unblinking gaze. Without any delay, she immediately re-sewed the curtains with needle and thread to make them airtight, and to punish him, she also took the porridge away.

He didn't care, it was off-putting anyway. But he still cried. Just one accident destroyed his only remaining connection with the outside world.

After crying, he realized he missed home.

He should also have relatives, everyone has one, right? But what about his relatives?

Forgetting the past is tantamount to betraying yourself. He tried his best to recall, but the distant memories were very vague.

In the darkness, many past events gather together like water, and the bits and pieces of life gradually turn into pictures. But everything I remembered was so scattered and incredible, both familiar and unfamiliar.

After a while, he was sitting on the roof watching the stars. After a while, he was fanning the thick smoke coming out of the coal stove with a broken cattail leaf fan. After a while, it was him who was riding a bicycle across the Forty-Nine City, punching and kicking. After a while, he was handcuffed and escorted into a prison van under tight security from the armed police. After a while, he got into a fight with others and overturned the table. After a while, he was drinking and drinking freely in a restaurant with money in hand...

Only one scene left a deep impression on me.

In the east courtyard of Furuli Guanyin Yuan, sitting on the high steps under the door is a little girl less than six years old.

She was wearing a blue cotton-padded jacket with plain flowers, and her two pigtails were blown back by the wind. She also put one hand on her white forehead to block the falling sun. Even in winter, she would sit on this high step every day, looking at the far intersection with her big round black eyes, waiting for him to come home from school.

This girl is very familiar. who is she?

Is it the younger sister? Yes, it’s his sister, his only biological sister!

He remembered. He remembered the closeness between him and his sister, and his sister's attachment to him.

When he was a child, his younger sister was his little follower. As soon as he appeared in the alley after school, she would call Third Brother in a tender voice, run over in a bound, and then grab his dirty hands to play with. , ran into the house together. The texture of my sister's white and tender hands is clear and full of warm flesh.

In my impression, my younger sister’s childish voice came out.

"Third brother, third brother, third brother..."

"Third brother, you eat." My sister stretched out her little hand and forced a piece of candy dough into his mouth.

"Third brother, I'm afraid, don't..." My sister ran to avoid her, while he was chasing her around the yard with a hanged ghost (a native dialect referring to the larvae of the Sophora japonica moth) in his hand, like a dog chasing a rabbit.

"Third brother, it's so sweet." My sister bit into the big red dates he had just picked and smiled. All the dates were pocketed in his vest.

"Third brother, does it hurt? I'll put some 'two hundred and two' on you. It will heal quickly." My sister applied the red liquid on his chest. His bare back was scratched by the jujube tree, and it hurt. He had to grin.

"Third brother, you are so awesome." My sister looked at him with admiration. He had just avenged his sister by beating the "adze head" who bullied her in the alley. Although he also has black eyes at the corners, he looks like a black-eyed chicken that has been plucked...

"Dad, please don't hit the third brother... I threw the orange peel at the aunt beside you..." My sister cried with tears in her eyes, trying to cover up his mistake...

Warmth filled his heart, and he felt so comfortable that it seemed to melt his whole body.

He remembered that he did have relatives. And not only my sister, but my parents and brothers as well.

But when his father's sickly and thin face appeared in his mind, he felt a sudden stabbing pain in his heart.

He immediately remembered that it was because of his father's report that he fell into the hands of the police and was sent to a labor camp.

In the unprecedented ten years, the "Black Five" family composition has brought too many disasters to the Hong family. But just as the "movement" was coming to an end, Hong Yanwu was searched by the police for beating his son who was an official. He originally planned to go home and see his mother before flying away, but he didn't expect that his father, who had always been timid and timid, chose to report to the police station because he was afraid that his family would be implicated. As a result, Hong Yanwu, who hurriedly climbed over the wall to escape, was surrounded by the police and workers' militia brought by his father under the wall. This moment was the last meeting between their father and son.

Hong Yanwu still remembers the scene at that time.

As soon as he jumped off the wall, he fell into an ambush. A dozen worker militiamen appeared out of nowhere and swarmed him and pinned him to the ground in an instant. Then, a policeman came and handcuffed him behind his back, and then, in front of his father, the militiamen lifted him up and twisted him away without hesitation.

He looked back with resentment. Under the wall, his father, who "killed relatives for justice", was still standing there, his eyes full of sorrow.

"I have no father! I jumped out of a crack in a rock!"

He suddenly jumped to his feet and yelled, almost breaking free from the militiamen's hands. And the screams echoed throughout the alley.

Under the street lamp, my father shed tears on his clothes. He bent over in pain, covered his chest with his hands and squatted down.

He couldn't shout anymore and cried. He even wanted to go back to help his father, but he resented his father's ruthlessness.

While he was hesitating, without another chance, several policemen pressed his head together and forced him into the motorcycle sidecar.

Soon, the police station sentenced him to three years of forced labor and sent him to Chadian. While in the labor camp, he longed to see him day and night, but his family never came to see him. When he couldn't help but write a letter of reception to his family, he unexpectedly heard someone talking behind his back.

"That's weird. His **** father sent him away and he still wants to receive him?"

"That's right, even his mother has to listen to his father. It's no use writing letters. What a fool."

These words immediately turned his longing for his family into a deeper resentment towards his father. He stubbornly tore up the letter, thinking that as others said, no relatives came to see him because of his father's obstruction.

During the Tangshan earthquake, Chadian was also affected by the earthquake. At this time, because of his active rescue efforts, his labor camp period was reduced to one year. But after he was released from the labor camp, he did not return home out of hatred for his father. Instead, he chose to wander outside for two years. When he entered the house again, he unexpectedly learned that his father had just died of illness.

My mother said that my father developed leg disease shortly after he was sent to the labor camp and was bedridden. Since my father needs constant care and the family's money must be used to buy medicine first, the family cannot visit him. The mother also said that her father, who was suffering from illness, died with his name in mind. When my father was dying, the most worrying thing was that he was worried that he would go astray.

Looking at his father's portrait, he felt lost. All the resentment in my heart suddenly disappeared, but turned into a more painful regret...

The peristalsis of the intestines and stomach suddenly awakened Hong Yanwu from the past, and his stomach growled again. To feel more comfortable, he put a pillow on his stomach. He has experience with this, and it will be fine if he is overly hungry.

At this moment, what he misses most is not delicacies such as abalone and lobster, but sliced ​​soup, fried dumplings, boiled dumplings, and noodles with soybean paste, which are ordinary meals that his mother often cooked during his lifetime.

My mother's cooking method is very traditional. She always eats according to the seasons, never spoils things, and cooks whatever is delicious. Baking spring cakes at the beginning of spring and braised noodles for celebrating birthdays. In the short spring, scrambled eggs with Chinese toon, fried elm noodles, braised kohlrabi in the hot summer, salted eggplant, fried dumplings, braised lentil noodles, paste in the cool autumn, dried fruits, grilled eggplant, stir-fried green and white snake, in the severe winter Warm quinces are mixed with cabbage sum, sea rice is cooked with green onions, meatballs are boiled with cabbage, and sauerkraut is braised with white meat. New Year’s rice noodles, fried meatballs, pork skin jelly, mustard dumplings, fried rice noodles, eight-treasure rice...

In these imaginative thoughts, Hong Yanwu seemed to see his mother busy in the small kitchen again. He was just half confused, walking back into his memory.

Once a person is thrown into a labor camp, he becomes a complete piece of shit. Not to mention finding a serious public job, it was even difficult for the street to arrange a temporary worker.

After he moved back home, he repeatedly encountered obstacles in finding a job, and soon became discouraged. He only vented his depression by fighting and drinking every day, and became a frequent visitor to the detention center. The eldest brother and the second brother didn't have a good attitude toward him, and kept saying that he should abide by the law and not let himself down. Although he understood their good intentions, it made him see again that he was different from others, and not just in the eyes of outsiders.

My mother was so anxious that she shed tears because she wanted him to avoid getting into trouble. His mother used her money to buy food and wine for him, hoping to keep him at home with good food. But he still couldn't stay at home and kept making noises to go out every day. When his mother really couldn't stop him, she would just put money and food stamps into his hands and repeatedly tell him, "Eat enough, eat well, drink less, don't fight, and come back early."

And whenever he came home drunk late at night, his mother would stay up late waiting for him. Only after she helped him take off his clothes and wiped his face and put him to bed could his mother go to sleep with peace of mind. In his drunken haze, he only remembered his mother's tired, angry and distressed look. His mother always looked at him helplessly and sighed deeply, "Oh, what's the use of raising a son..."

He has indeed become his mother's biggest burden. In order to support his food and drink expenses, his mother had to rely on cardboard boxes to make up for the household expenses after get off work every day. Sometimes my mother would keep rubbing the corners of her eyes with her hands under the light because she stayed up late, and something shiny would fall into her eyes. But even if he saw it, he was indifferent and never asked a question. He does nothing at home and has long been accustomed to his mother doing all the dirty work. Even his dirty clothes have to be washed by his mother.

During his careless and chaotic days, his mother had no regrets about this kind of hard work. In fact, the mother's request is very simple. She just wants the whole family to reunite and live in peace. But even with such a small request, he couldn't satisfy her. Soon, he was formally arrested for injuring someone while drunk.

When two police officers handcuffed him at home and escorted him out of the house, he saw his mother's confused and distressed eyes. Until this moment, she still didn't believe that her son would become a criminal again after going through such a painful lesson.

My mother burst into tears. She didn’t wipe them away, and she didn’t cry. She just let the tears soak her clothes. The breeze blew her hair, and he realized for the first time that his mother had gray hair.

It was not easy for the mother. Her red and swollen fingers and haggard face were extremely dazzling at that moment.

Full of shame, he could only lower his head and silently walk past his mother. Then, with the neighbors dumbfounded, he got into the police jeep specially brought for him. When the red police lights blared, the car drove him quickly to the Xuanwu Branch.

Later he learned that just as the police car left, his mother chased him out of the house. As she looked at the military green jeep going away, her body and spirit were beyond the limits of what she could bear. Amid the exclamations of the neighbors, she held on to the courtyard door and collapsed.

My mother passed away in the hospital. When he was in prison, he was shocked to hear the news of his mother's death. He couldn't help but bang his head against the wall of the cell until his fellow inmates called the prison guards. His face was covered in blood. That night, he stood alone all night facing the moonlight outside the iron window without anyone interfering. Everyone thought he was mentally disturbed and had been stimulated. At dawn, he fell ill and had a fever of forty degrees.

After attending his mother's funeral, the eldest brother and the second brother took their younger sister to the detention center to provide him with bedding. In the reception room, through the bars, the brothers met.

The eldest brother has always had a bad temper. As soon as he saw him, he immediately threw his luggage on the iron fence in front of him.

"Asshole! You are a disaster! It's best not to come out for the rest of your life!"

The second brother's eyes were all bloodshot, and he pointed his finger at his nose and cursed in front of the prison guard.

"You are not human! You are so angry, Mom! We will never have a person like you in our family!"

Among several relatives, only his sister could not bear to blame him. She just stood aside pitifully and shed tears. She also carried a net bag in her hand, which contained tomatoes that he liked to eat.

And in his clenched fists, his nails were dug deeply into his palms.

He couldn't tell at all. Can he explain to them that he didn't want to fight at all and that the other party insisted on doing it?

What's more, even he thinks he is indeed a bastard.

He knew very well that his mother had been working hard to contribute to the family despite years of fear from the political movement, the blow of her husband's death, the hardships of life, and the torment of a bumpy fate. And when she finally discovered that no matter how much she tried, she could not prevent her son from going astray, she inevitably felt extremely disappointed.

Yes, it was entirely because of him that my mother's energy was exhausted, her spirit collapsed, her muscles and bones were withered, and her blood dried up.

He is the culprit responsible for the death of his mother...

Hong Yanwu felt his neck was wet. When he woke up, he realized that there were tears on his face and the pillow was wet.

He wiped away his tears and stared at the empty darkness for a while, then turned over and closed his eyes. He really didn't want to recall the past, but he didn't expect that as soon as he closed his eyes, his mind would become active involuntarily.

This is how people are, painful things are always the clearest. The worst thing is that the more painful a person is, the more heart-wrenching things they remember, and the more things they wish to forget, the more clearly they will emerge...

During his sentence, no one in his family saw him except his sister.

After being released from prison, he returned home directly.

What I didn't expect was that the second brother actually held the door tightly and refused to let him in. His face was full of disgust and disgust, as if he was a plague god. Thanks to the elder sister-in-law and younger sister who spoke kind words for him, they reluctantly pulled the second brother away to let him in, and managed to make a bed for him in the kitchen.

Unexpectedly, the eldest brother got angry when he came home from get off work and said nothing to acknowledge his younger brother who was so angry with his mother. Only then did he realize that the grudges and complaints between his two brothers against him were irreconcilable. They will never forget that it was because of him that their mother was overworked and died of a broken heart.

The eldest brother completely ignored the dissuasion of his sister-in-law and sister, and invited the second brother to smash the bed given to him, and even threw his luggage on the street. Finally, his two brothers threw him a hundred dollars and told him to pack up and leave to fend for himself.

Not counting all these, what hurt his self-esteem the most was when his two brothers scolded him for being disobedient in public, with many neighbors watching.

Is he a disobedient? Are these the words of my brothers or the words of my deceased mother?

By doing this, wouldn't they make the secret of his mother's death public? So how can he go on in the future?

He was so embarrassed, as if someone had stripped him naked, and he couldn't help but feel a conflict that wanted to destroy everything.

If he really wanted to take action, he wouldn't be able to tie the two brothers together. But he...can't.

He is indeed ashamed of his deceased parents!

In the end, he didn't make any fuss, but silently picked up the money from the ground and chose to leave.

Before leaving, the eldest brother said harshly again, "From now on, you have nothing to do with us or this family. Don't ever come back."

His heart was full of bitterness. In the contemptuous eyes of the neighbors and in the sobbing cries of his sister, he left silently, completely becoming a bereaved dog.

But without his home, where can he go?

Nowhere to go.

At this moment, society is in a state of "crack down". Among the "buddies" he knew, except for those who "sticked to the wall" (slang, shot) and those who "ran away", the rest were all in the "circle". Now there are only a bunch of "babies" from those days out there, wandering around half-assed. No matter how "ruined" he was, he couldn't go to those juniors and hang out with the bullies he had commanded.

After drinking a whole bottle of Erguotou, he walked aimlessly on the street like a zombie. He bumped into many pedestrians and drew scoldings wherever he went.

Some people often say the word "sense of loss", and this is what he felt at this moment, as if he had fallen from a very high mountain, and there was no sense of decline in the air.

Originally, he didn't expect his two brothers to be very enthusiastic about him. He just hoped that they would give him a small bed and take care of his meals out of brotherly love. But the eldest brother and the second brother seemed to be afraid of being exposed to his evil smell, so on what was supposed to be a family reunion day, they gave him such a big gift as losing his personality and being kicked out of the house.

No more, not even a home. He has nothing but prison experience. When people get to this place, they really want to find a crack in the ground and crawl into it.

I don’t know how far he walked until it was dark. He raised his head and looked into the distance, and suddenly saw the dimly lit high-rise buildings in the distance.

At this moment, he suddenly felt a sense of emotion, feeling that the world would always be so unequal. The "Ten Years' Movement" has long passed, and he is no longer a "puppet". But fate still decreed that he could not be a human being or a normal person in his life. On second thought, he once again thought of the unreasonable truth he learned in his career as a player - if you can't be a human being, then be a wolf or a wolf, but you can never be a cow or a horse, or a pig or a sheep.

Well, since he can't be a human, he will be a wolf. He had to survive, yes, survive!

The unwillingness and rebelliousness of his nature made him willing to challenge fate.

The end of the road made the last trace of tenderness in his heart replaced by resentment.

Under the illumination of the street lamp, a bad wolf was reborn. His face was ferocious, his eyes were red, arrogance and anger burning in his eyes. His only thought was to use unfair means to retaliate for the unfair experience. If his illegal behavior during the "movement" was still passive and ignorant, then this time, he was purely active, crazy and unscrupulous and became a career criminal.

However, when a person intentionally commits a crime, it is often not easy to be punished by the law. Because he has plans, preparations, and even a protective umbrella. As for a person, once he is so bad that others cannot notice it, and even gets praised for it, he is considered to be superior to others.

Many years later, contrary to everyone's expectations, he became famous and became a social celebrity. Moreover, when Xinjing Group won the bid for the Caishikou Street renovation project, since Furuli was also included in the demolition scope, he even got the opportunity to take revenge.

He relied on his connections in the demolition office and the land bureau, and used forged documents to sue his two brothers for embezzling his parents' inheritance. After winning the lawsuit, he not only legally took over most of the rights and interests in his parents' property, but also used forced demolition to evict his eldest brother and his second brother's family. After this incident, the three brothers completely dissolved their relationship through law. At this time, his only relative was his sister who was the best to him. But he never expected that even this remaining family relationship would not last long.

Two years later, the Land Bureau and the Mining Bureau were merged into the Bureau of Land and Resources. However, Gao Ming got into big trouble for bribing the new Land Bureau official. As a result, the case got involved in a conflict of interests among the upper echelons, and the "big shot" refused to help in order to avoid it. Gao Ming was so anxious that he put most of the responsibility on him. Only then did he realize the disadvantages of being a legal person. He knew that Gao Ming had been ambushing him if he didn't fight for the legal person.

In order not to be a victim, he was really anxious and had to do everything possible to save himself. After exhausting all his efforts, he finally found a way out. Director Xiao of the 19th Division of the Municipal Bureau (later the Economic Crime Investigation Corps) was my sister's classmate and he even pursued her back then. So, under the guise of his sister, he secretly came to the door and begged Director Xiao to let him go.

To his surprise, Director Xiao unexpectedly agreed to help with the situation. The only condition he offered was that in addition to the 20 million in benefits, his sister, who was married and had children, would sleep with him for the night. He changed his color when he heard this, but Director Xiao said bluntly that his feelings for his sister had not changed and had become the most unforgettable regret in his heart, so this was absolutely not negotiable.

After he returned home, he didn't sleep a wink all night, smoked three packs of cigarettes, and lost a lot of weight.

At first, he wanted to break the pot, and planned to simply kill Gao Ming and Director Xiao, so that the fish would die and the net would die. But as he gradually calmed down, he realized that the good times had passed and he was no longer the outlaw he used to be.

Next, he thought it would be better to just run away. But most of the company's funds are invested in the project, how much can he take away?

After thinking about it, he really felt sorry for this family business. So, while his brother-in-law was taking the children back to his hometown, he quietly walked in on his sister's door.

What is money? Money is a **** that corrupts people, buryes their humanity, and loses their reason. Money made him stupid, didn't know how to cherish it, and lost his normal emotions. He loves money too much, so when it comes to the balance between his sister and money, he eventually falls in favor of money.

In order to make his sister agree to this disgusting request, he knelt straight in front of her.

My sister was stunned by his earth-shattering kneeling, and even more dizzy on the spot because of this once-in-a-lifetime forced scene. When she woke up, her first sentence was to ask in despair, "Are you still my third brother? How could you do this?"

He knocked his head on the ground, not daring to look up.

"Man, how can you be so bad-hearted! Man, how can you be so deceitful! Man, you have no shame and no conscience! It's useless no matter how nice you are to him, he will make you jump into the fire pit in the end! Man, It’s so heartless..."

My sister murmured words that could only be said when her heart was broken. She turned from sobbing to howling, and from crying to giggling. Talked all night, cried all night, laughed all night.

He didn't interrupt his sister, he just couldn't kneel down. And he knocked his head to the ground hard, and the ground was stained with blood.

My sister was finally forced to agree.

A few days later, when he sent his sister to the hotel where Director Xiao had booked a room. When she said goodbye in the lobby, there was only indifference on her face.

She told him with desperation and exhaustion that she had nothing to worry about. After this incident, she couldn't help him anymore. If you feel sad when you meet, it’s better not to see him from now on, and don’t contact him again.

My sister's gibbering tone was unusually calm and soft, making him feel itchy and numb. He stared blankly at his sister's back as she disappeared into the elevator in the lobby, and couldn't help but shudder.

The case was finally covered up and he saved everything. But my sister changed her phone number from that day on and could no longer be contacted. He was dumbfounded.

And the matter did not end there. What he didn't expect was that Director Xiao continued to harass and pester his sister, and his brother-in-law finally discovered the clues. The brother-in-law soon divorced his sister and took the child away. The deeply hit sister suffered a mental breakdown and fell to her death.

The last sister he saw in the morgue was a smashed corpse...

Hong Yanwu suddenly woke up from his trance. His lips were trembling and tears were streaming down his face.

He was deeply surprised by everything he recalled. he! A sinner through and through!

Someone has said that those who have not cried bitterly in the middle of the night are not good enough to talk about life. What about his life? How can you speak to others?

People, never let down your loved ones at any time. Otherwise he will regret it for the rest of his life, unless he is not a human being at all.