The Tutorial Is Too Hard Chapter 130:

[Round 18, Day 19, 16:20]

 

I checked the face of a man wearing purple robe over his head .

Again, the face was the same as the others .

 

I pondered about this .

I could not help but wonder .

Could I repeat this?

Could I see their faces again?

That was not the case .

 

I tightened my grip and snapped the man’s neck .

After that, I confirmed the message .

 

[You cleared the 18th Floor of the Tutorial in Hell Difficulty . ]

[All of your wounds and abnormalities will be recovered . ]

[You acquired 3000 points as clear reward . ]

[You acquired 3000 points for the best clear . ]

[Many gods are showing positive responses to you . You acquired 7500 points . ]

[Many gods are showing negative responses to you . 2500 points were deducted .

[An additional reward will be given based on your play record . ]

[God of Death would like to give a part of the god’s power as a gift . Would you like to accept?]

[You acquired Soul Collect Lv . Max . ]

[All gods in White Holy Temple are watching you . ]

[God of Slowness is watching you . ]

[God of Adventure is rooting for you . ]

[God of Duel is silent . ]

[God of Death is overjoyed from watching you . ]

[God of Life is watching you in a negative way . ]

[God of Pain is smiling at you . ]

[God of Goodwill is feeling sorry for you . ]

 

It finally ended .

I didn’t give a **** about the clear rewards . I just crouched down at the spot and took deep breaths .

Purple clothes on the upper body and black clothing on the lower body .

It turned out that there were more than just one such target who matched the description .

There were total of six .

They had emotionless faces and responses . They were too strange to be called humans . Considering that all of them had same body and face, I wondered if they were clones .

 

I was not certain .

However, I didn’t want to dig around to learn about this in more detail than what I already knew .

I was not interested .

 

I checked the map that the target was looking at before he died .

It was the map of the AoAeo island .

The map had red lines marking all over the place .

I wondered what they could mean . Soon, I could figure out what the lines meant .

They were the whereabouts and movements of the targets .

 

During the 3rd, 13th, 23rd and 30th day, the targets gather at one place .

The place of their gathering was the plaza I was at just now .

… It was a great piece information .

 

If I had known about this secret meeting place deep inside the island sooner, I could have waited until the 30th day and… kill all targets at once .

I cried from my regret and remorse .

I bit my lips . I bit my tongue . I tried to stop crying . However, I moaned along as they bled like my heart .

 

I could have avoided this tragedy, even if I had not found their secret meeting place .

It was more than possible .

Since I was planning on staying at this island for a long time, if I just forgot about clear condition and focused on living it up…

If I stopped searching after determining the location of the target…

Instead of provoking the target, if I killed him from a distance using a clean method…

If I didn’t act so stupid and reveal myself to the target so carelessly…

 

The stupid and careless actions I had taken came together and bought about this tragedy .

It was my fault .

Now, I cannot even go back .

I already cleared the stage .

 

I glanced at the portal that appeared below my feet and then started to walk .

Outside the secret meeting place, there was still a bright sunshine . The light was shining down on me .

 

It was uncomfortable to walk .

I could not take one step without a corpse getting in my way . The ground was drenched with red blood . The ground was sticky .

Like that, in discomfort, I walked . I found a cup that had some Paramal left .

It was Paramal that someone didn’t finish .

I was not surprised .

Paramal was found everywhere in this island . The drink was very common here after all .

I picked up the cup and tried drinking the Paramal that was still left in it .

It was sweet .

It was exactly like as if ice cream was molten .

That was all .

Now, it was no more or less than sweet water .

 

It did not make me feel better or… connect me to other people .

There weren’t any people left for it to connect me to .

 

However, I could not stop drinking Paramal .

I walked down the street, and every time I saw a glass of Paramal, I drank it .

I hoped that its effect would be revived at the end of its sweetness .

 

That day, I really drank a lot of Paramal .

I drank so much of it that I threw up several times .

 

* * *

 

[Round 18, Day 20, 10:00]

 

There weren’t any Paramal left on the street .

I repeated drinking and throwing up . I drank it restlessly, so it was only obvious .

However, I continued to search for more Paramal .

I wanted to drink more of it .

 

What came to my mind was Hyang’s café .

There was a large storage room under the café .

It was the storage room for Paramal .

I had a memory of drinking Paramal with Hyang at the storage room, so I went to find it right away .

As soon as I entered Hyang’s café, it felt odd .

It just so happened that it was time for me to eat the breakfast at Hyang’s café .

As a part of the morning routine that signaled the start of the day, I greeted the people inside the cafe, met Hyang and ate breakfast .

 

With not a soul inside, the café was quiet . I walked in and headed to the storage room .

I walked through the narrow and dark corridor that lead to the basement storage room . As I walked, I felt that it was familiar .

I already knew well, how Hyang died .

 

The storage room’s door was locked .

I grabbed the lock and tightened my grip . I was able to tear it off with ease .

Inside the storage room were large wooden barrels . They were tightly packed together inside the room .

They all contained Paramal .

 

I brought out a glass and scooped up Paramal from a barrel .

Now, the beverage had no special effect . However, I think it is a little different for me .

When I drank it, I felt its intense sweetness, enough to make my tongue go numb . Every time I tasted its sweetness, I could remember the sensation I could feel until only recently, although the sensation lasted only while I was drinking it .

Also, I was just fooling myself into thinking so .

Still, I could not stop drinking Paramal .

 

That day, I spent the whole day drinking Paramal .

I threw up as much as I drank .

 

* * *

 

[Round 18, Day 23, 17:30]

 

Unwelcome guests arrived at AoAeo island .

They were the ones who made Paramal and tried to control the people through it, probably .

As the targets did, they spread their voices throughout the entire island . The voices were commanding the people who drank Paramal .

Were they trying to find the survivors?

However, I was the only one who could respond to them .

 

As soon as I met them, I attacked them .

I was not all that interested in their goals or potential information .

As for the ship that they arrived in, I burned it .

After that, I returned to the basement of the café .

 

That day, I spent my time drinking Paramal and throwing up .

 

* * *

 

[Round 18, Day 29, 07:30]

 

I had thought this once .

I will lighten up by the time I leave AoAeo island .

It was because I thought I won’t be leaving until I felt that way .

I think it went as I planned .

I had spent the past few days drinking Paramal and throwing up while crying .

I didn’t want to drink Paramal anymore .

I no longer felt regrets or remorse .

It was not that the emotions disappeared .

It was just that I had poured out so much emotion . Now, no emotion were left . No thoughts came either .

I just felt empty .

My head and heart…

 

After I cried for a long time, I felt numb . I felt empty . At the same time, I felt a little refreshed . That’s how I felt .

No thoughts came to my head .

I didn’t feel anger . I didn’t feel sadness .

At this moment, I was emotionless .

I didn’t know if this state would continue, but I thought that I will be all right for a while .

 

It was time for me to leave .

First, I got out of the storage room .

Through the portal, I could leave the stage . However, I wanted to check my status for a bit .

Slowly, I checked the sensations, starting from the tip of my fingers .

There weren’t any problems .

As for my mind… I don’t know .

I think it would be good to take good care of myself so I won’t shake my mentality .

 

I opened the status window and checked my growth .

I leveled up a bit . Skills leveled up quite a bit as well .

If it was like the past, I would have been happy about them, since I gained things .

Although I didn’t feel any emotion, I felt the chill going down my spine as I thought of that .

I felt goosebumps on my arm and cheeks .

It seemed I was not able to empty it all .

Well, how could I empty all of it .

I think it will continue to follow me around .

 

I checked the Soul Collect skill that I received as the reward for clearing the 18th Floor .

 

[Soul Collect (Lv . Max)]

Description: After pondering on this for a long time, the God of Death gifted the power to the challenger that the **** had taken the most interest in lately .

Although careful, the God of Death is also impatient . The **** is already regretting his decision .

 

As usual with all power skills, I could not figure out what this skill was for based on the description alone .

From the name, it seemed like it was a skill for collecting souls . However, I could not get a feel for how to use it .

I should ask Kiri Kiri .

 

Beyond the window, I looked down at the street .

At the moment, there were several hundred thousands of souls here in this island .

I thought about trying out the Soul Collect as a test . However, I decided not to .

I don’t even know exactly what kind of effect it will have .

My wounds just stopped bleeding for a moment . I didn’t want to poke at it for the sake of a fickle curiosity .

After finishing the thoughts, I got on the portal that was just a step away .

 

“Teleport . ”

 

I closed my eyes for a moment and opened . I was moved to the green field .

 

“I’m sorrrrying!”

 

As soon as I was moved to the field, Kiri Kiri screamed and jumped toward me .

She was throwing a tackle at me . I collided with her and fell back .

 

“What are you doing, Kiri Kiri . ”

 

Kiri Kiri tightly held on to me and cried her eyes out .

 

“Hiiiiing . I didn’t do my job . ”

 

You didn’t do your job?

Ah, is it because she didn’t give advice about the 18th Floor?

Actually, that was because I rushed back to the waiting room .

To begin with, I had not been hearing much advices on how to clear stages lately . Also, after clearing the 17th Floor stage, I had many things I had to mind .

If I am to assign blame, then this is not Kiri Kiri’s fault . It is my own .

 

“No . It is my fault . I should have stopped you from leaving and told you about the 18thFloor . ”

 

It is really all right .

If it was a few days ago, then I may have resented her .

However, now, I didn’t feel emotions like resentment or regrets .

 

“Kiri Kiri . Instead, I would like to ask you for explanation on the Soul Collect skill . ”

“Hiiiing . I got it . ”

 

Kiri Kiri lifted her head and responded .

However, she did not release her arms which were tightly holding onto my body .

 

I also asked her to give me advice for the next floor .

Kiri Kiri said there won’t be much danger at 19th Floor .

As a side note, she included explanations on how to treat the cold and how to take care of someone who had it .

I didn’t have to worry about getting cold . So, this meant that I’ll be meeting someone at the 19th Floor who has a cold .

 

This is slowly getting stuffy .

I got up and stretched .

I thought Kiri Kiri might unhand me if I got up . However, although I got up, Kiri Kiri was still hanging onto me .

She was like a koala .

 

“Can you please let go now?”

“Nooong . ”

“I’ll give you cake if you let go . ”

“Okaying!”

 

Kiri Kiri detached herself from me immediately .

I bought her a piece of cake .

 

“Hooouuuujaeee, aren’t you going to eat too?”

“I’m not going to eat . I don’t think I’ll be able to eat anything sweet for a while . ”

 

Literally, I had been drinking Paramal until I puked .

So, I became sick of anything sweet .

 

“Hiiiiiing… Please don’t kick yourself so much . It is not your fault . That was just a difficult trial . ”

 

I’m sure she was trying to console me . Still, I did not agree with her .

Anyway, I am thankful for her . She is showing concern for me .

Still, I suppose I did get something from the 18th Floor .

I learned to be thankful to another in honest way .

 

“No . You had always been honest to your emotions and were not afraid to show them . ”

 

She is complimenting me out of the blue .

 

“Usually, having other beings reading one’s mind is very scary and uncomfortable . However, you didn’t mind me or other gods for looking into your thoughts . That was because you were not afraid to show us your thoughts and were not embarrassed about them . ”

 

I am not sure . I don’t think that’s why .

I have many embarrassing thoughts . I do wish that I could hide them as well .

Still, well, it does feel good to be praised .

 

“Hoouuujaeee, you are!”

 

Kiri Kiri suddenly shouted .

She then closed her eyes . She started to think deeply about something .

She had been like that for a while . She suddenly opened her eyes widely, faced me and said,

 

“Your fingers are beautiful . ”

 

Kiri Kiri looked very proud as she said it . Meanwhile, I could not immediately understand what that was for .

I was able to understand her intent only after I thought about what I had been thinking earlier .

She was giving me compliments for my own sake .

That sure is an odd one . She spent almost three minutes to think hard about it, and that’s what she came up with? That my fingers are beautiful?

I wondered if I should take away the slice of cake . I gave it a serious thought .

 

“Ho… . Houuujaeee, you are!”

 

Kiri Kiri noticeably stumbled with words .

After that, she closed her eyes and thought hard .

I’m looking forward to her answer too .

I wonder what kind of compliment would she give me this time?

 

“Your name is fun!”

 

As I thought, I think I should take the cake .

 

* * *

 

I said goodbye to Kiri Kiri and went back to the waiting room .

I had chatted away with her for a long time before I left, so I was feeling a little excited . Now, my mood was calming down again .

I sat at the bed in the waiting room and thought about things .

 

My emotion had become dull .

I wondered if this would become a big problem later .

 

For now, there was nothing bad about it .

At AoAeo island, I really had seen the bottom of the barrel .

I cried like a crazy person and did all sorts of unsightly things .

My current condition was far more preferable than a continuation of that .

It was more comfortable as well .

Maintaining agitated emotional state is very taxing mentally and physically .

 

However, this might become a problem later .

I feel anxious .

I checked my current mental state as if I was a third person .

 

At a glance, I look as if I obtained the enlightenment .

I had thrown away all desires that human beings possess . I have defeated my own emotions .

However, I knew well that I didn’t obtain the enlightenment .

How should I explain this…

Right . I feel like I am currently in the state of anesthesia .

I had become mentally numb .

Just like how senses become numb from extreme pain, just like that .

 

I had pondered about this for a moment . It didn’t look like there is anything that would cause problems .

This is not the first time .

After I just fell inside the Tutorial, I had been constantly experiencing terror from life-threatening elements . I had been seeing numbers which indicated the death of people .

Also, I had spent time in agony while blaming myself for not being able to save those people . As such days continued, before I realized, my heart had become numb .

I had been treating myself without much care like an avatar in a video game .

 

These are not some distant memories .

They are the things that have happened ever since I entered the Tutorial and until now .

To make a rough guess… It is until just before I summoned Idy at the 12th Floor and stayed with her .

 

I actually have been thinking that I had become complacent and careless lately .

Killing and subduing the emotions and looking at situations objectively is helpful for survival and growth .

It is not a bad thing .

 

It was just that I have been too relaxed lately .

I organized my thoughts that way .

 

I finished agonizing over things . Afterwards, I was finally able to have a moment to spare to look around myself .

I looked around, but there wasn’t much .

It’s a waiting room, so it is just a waiting room . Well…

 

There was one thing that was different .

When I returned to the waiting room after the tournament was over, I was under the effects of extreme loneliness and solitude .

I was in pain . I was sad .

Now, I didn’t feel that way .

As I thought, this is not a bad condition to be in .

 

However, my senses were still dampened .

I didn’t sense any movements from my eyes .

It was obvious .

There was just myself in the waiting room that was moving .

Other than the sound of my breathing, I couldn’t hear anything .

 

I held my breath for a moment . Now, I could only hear the sound of my heart beating .

 

Dugun . . Dugun…

 

The sound of the heart beat was very small . However, its presence felt as loud as thunder .

Following the rhythm of the heartbeat, I felt like the pressure inside the dark waiting room was rushing at me .

The waiting room was dark and empty . However, it felt like the place was full of something .

I felt like I was going to get buried under my dampened senses .

There were not many things that I could do to escape this .

 

I opened the inventory and brought out Transmutable Thousand Arms .

 

Slash… Slash…

 

In this dull waiting room, the sound that I hated hearing, only the horrible sound of flesh being cut echoed .