Legend of Fu Yao: Marriage Notes (1) Spoof carefully
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"Where do you think we should hold the wedding?" Long Sun Wuji leaned on Meng Fuyao's back chair, leaning on Meng Fuyao's shoulder, blowing on her earlobe, a little, no, a little, no Click...
Meng Fuyao pushed his face away, without turning his head, scanning, or direct eye contact. He only used a poker face to express: I am very busy and I am not interested in paying attention to your boring question.
His Majesty the eldest grandson never changed any of his plans because of Queen Meng’s attitude. His face was pushed away, but his hands were even more restless. He picked up Meng Fuyao’s delicate earlobes, facing the sun, a little white The exquisite earlobes, through the bright sunlight, are crystal clear like beads, and you can see the small red veins inside, like the natural lines on the beautiful jade.
The earlobe is very comfortable to be pinched. What's more, His Majesty the grandson gestured lightly, Meng Fuyao pinched drowsy, immersed in the warm sunshine stupidly, and the summer breeze in May passed around him. Mixed with the faint aroma of Asura lotus, the fragrance will always stand alone, surrounded by the crowded scents of primrose, cineraria, four seasons crabapple, spring cuckoo, and crab claw lotus.
She sighed comfortably, her neck leaned back, expressing her sincere approval for this behavior.
Touch and touch, touch and touch...
Well, because Mao suddenly got a little itchy chest?
Lu, Shan, Zhi, Claw!
Meng Fuyao suddenly opened his eyes, his eyes pierced, and the wind screamed with his fingers—"Five-clawed hand"!
The hand that was going beyond the permitted range quickly reversed, squeezed its paw in the palm of the palm, and squeezed it—"Conquer the Tigress"!
"Go dead! Go dead!" Meng Fuyao couldn't pull out his paws and kicked it with his foot. "Dead, don't see you, don't see you, don't see you--"
The eldest grandson Wuji smiled and reached out his hand to catch the tigress's leg, and he coaxed with a very good temper: "Hey, you can just move your mouth. It's not good to move your legs. I'm not afraid of hurting my prince, but also you."
"Go to death!" It's okay not to mention this sentence. When I mention this sentence, someone immediately smokes, his eyes are like lightning and his hair lined up, screaming, "What is your prince! I won't marry! Do it! Single mother! Dawan will belong to him in the future, he will not be your prince, he! Yes! Me! Home! Too! Son!"
"Okay, your prince." Changsun Wuji continued to coax, "Be your prince first, and then my prince." He also graciously nudged her, "Don't cry at the flowers and sigh at the moon, the poor Huadu Thanks."
Meng Fuyao pushed it away, making facial paralysis. Long Sun Wou-ki winked, Master Yuan Bao on one side immediately rushed over respectfully, raised a piece of snack high above his head, and raised his eyebrows like Wen Liang Xianshu.
Meng Fuyao glanced at him, "Hmm", picked up the snack and ate slowly, Lord Yuan Bao and Her Majesty the eldest grandson were all rejoicing-Your Majesty has appreciated her face!
Her Majesty, the most honorable pregnant woman in the world, has a look!
Pregnant women!
Yes, pregnant women.
The most noble, most precious and most miserable and most chaotic pregnant woman.
When a person who looked very sacred when he broke the jasper in the bridal night, he regained his consciousness from the coffin. After a passionate kiss, he suddenly found that he had a pot belly and was about to give birth. This is truly an incomparable tragedy.
Meng Fuyao's face hasn't been sunny since then.
There is no bridal room, no warm honeymoon, no little life to fall into the joy of a warm sleeping bed, no listening to fetal movement to experience the happiness of blood continuation, no accompany the child to experience his implantation, growth, and all the first journeys in life , I thought I was a young girl in the first second, and the next second I had to finish it. It really tested people's ability to bear it!
So that day, when Master Yuan Bao, who had been away for nine months away from Meng Fuyao, blinked at the gate of the temple and saw Meng Fuyao stepping out of the underground palace with blue-faced fangs, he suddenly sighed deeply in his heart-Queen Meng was different from others Ah...In an instant, a vicissitudes of life from a light unmarried girl turned to a butterfly-spotted unmarried pregnant aunt.
Queen Meng, in the vicissitudes of life, has fallen into a rare arrogant period in her life. It is hateful to see rats, foxes and foxes are shameless, to see if a man is nose, not nose, eyes, not eyes, and she finds herself in a coffin after she is in a miserable state. I pinched him and shouted: "Where is the baby! Who stuffed it!"
Emperor Changsun told her with a good temper: "August 15th, Yuanyi Palace, you pulled down my clothes..."
"Stop!" The pregnant woman immediately cut off her longing memories and shouted: "I don't want it!"
Your Majesty is very calm, and replied: "I want."
Meng Fuyao sneered: "I can't help you, my baby I am in charge."
His Majesty smiled: "But I have been raising this child, and he has recognized my dad." He stretched out his hand and gently put it on Meng Fuyao's belly. As expected, a baby who "has recognized someone else as a dad" immediately The heart moved alive.
Meng Fuyao was startled by the fetal movement for a moment, and then dizzyly remembered that he had a baby, and that his baby would already be kicked sideways. The feeling was so wonderful... Then suddenly he woke up and became angry— -What the hell! The baby that grows out of my old mother’s belly is yours if you touch it a few times?
The pregnant woman with horizontal eyebrows and vertical eyebrows made His Majesty feel very wronged and sighed: "It is not easy for me to raise this baby..."
It’s not easy. Originally at their level, "Bigu" was successful. In addition to drinking water, eating or not is not so important. A temple "Ding Yuan Dan" can allow both of them to enter the tortoise's breath. However, when Meng Fuyao wore it back again, because it was too late, Changsun Wuji couldn’t support it. In the end, something went wrong when he led the soul, which caused Meng Fuyao to sleep for a few more months before waking up. This was a little troublesome. The fetus will not "break the nine heavens". How to maintain the healthy growth of the child in the state of Meng Fuyao's tortoise breath? The grandson Wuji took great pains. Evergreen Shenshan has used all the magical herbs and miraculous medicines, and all the methods can be thought of. So, fortunately, Meng Fuyao's physical physique was very extraordinary under Zong Yue's long-lasting elixir. For another person, this child could not be kept in 80%.
Queen Meng has always been hard-mouthed and soft-hearted. When she meets someone’s soft fingers, her heart is so soft that her brows droop, and her heart beats. Your Majesty sighed slightly, and her heart twitched. His Majesty showed a melancholy and helpless look, and she immediately began to reflect on whether she was too unreasonable. Too unkind? Too forgiving enough?
Oh... forget it...
My own baby has already called others to call him father without knowing it, what else?
Anyway, the baby came out of her own belly and could only call her own mother. No one could deny it, right?
Queen Meng very sadly accepted this fact and started her super short pregnancy expectant career.
It's really too short... From knowing that I was pregnant to preparing to give birth, it was only 20 days. Even the marriage was too late. Even if she was asked to marry her, she would have no face...
Although she escaped the discomfort of morning sickness in early pregnancy, Meng Fuyao was very dissatisfied with her heavy posture, swollen legs and feet, and restless sleep. Especially her appetite was very good, and her appetite capacity increased at an alarming rate. I often get up in the middle of the night to ask for a hoof, and it must be no less than three catties. Your Majesty is naturally satisfied-the small kitchen outside the bedroom does not stop the fire at twelve hours, not to mention the hoof, it is to eat ingot meat. I will also discuss the possibility of cutting shares and offering meat with Master Yuanbao.
When Queen Meng was sitting on the bed in the middle of the night holding the quilt and chewing her hoofs, Her Majesty the eldest grandson sat opposite her affectionately and watched her eating. Her eyes often made Queen Meng think that she was not chewing bones with her hair scattered and greasy hands. It’s a beautiful flower viewing with grace and grace while sitting in the middle of the flowers, and there is no mirror in her bedroom that can prove how heroic and mighty her gnawing pose is—so she really thought that she was the one The flower is also very beautiful.
However, Huaer’s IQ is always not low. Although she is often fascinated by His Majesty’s eyes and forgets her true jinliang, occasionally she will look sadly at the sky when she gnaws halfway through, and touch her cheeks that have been rising recently, thinking about it. If I remove the piece in my stomach, how much volume is left in the body fat? ——I think it must be a huge number.
Because of the huge number of estimates, Queen Meng deceived herself and rejected the faithful mirror. She held a completely chaotic and indifferent attitude towards her tonnage. She was still immersed in the bright sadness, feeling that the world had abandoned me—even me. All of my babies recognized him as fathers before I knew him, and my fate made me—I completed the triple jump from girl to woman to mother without saying hello.
The world deceives me and deceives me to hide from me, so I eat it, chew it, swallow it, drink it!
The altitude is rising...Fat is accumulating...His Majesty the grandson is very satisfied-the baby will grow as much as the fat.
After precise calculations, Master Yuanbao felt that, um, the volume ratio of Meng Fuyao had already approached me infinitely...
So one day when a new lady of the palace accidentally opened a covered mirror, Meng Fuyao, who inadvertently glanced at him, found a beautiful big ocean horse in the mirror...
"Ah--"
After the screams, the queen started a hunger strike that day.
Pregnant women go on a hunger strike. The seriousness of the problem immediately made everyone anxious, and the medical officer in charge of Meng Fuyao's diet was on the verge of collapse. Only His Majesty was in no hurry. After hearing the report, he went straight to Meng Fuyao's bedroom.
According to normal principles, as a child’s father, His Majesty’s normal reaction must be a trilogy of persuasion, roar, and reconciliation. If it’s the Qiong Yao version, it’s probably—how can you not eat it? How can you not eat it! ! What if you don't eat our children? That is the crystallization of our love! It's my fault, it's my fault, you can beat and scold me, but please don't torture yourself, you suffer, and it hurts my heart!
If it is the ancient dragon version, it is probably——
"Don't you eat?"
"Don't eat."
"Really not eating?"
"Really don't eat."
"Did you see my sword?"
"So what?"
"Don't eat--" The sword light flashed, and it touched the artery coldly, "I'll die!"
If it’s the Zhou Xingxing version, it’s probably——
"You really don’t eat? Are you sure you don’t? If you don’t eat, tell me earlier. If you don’t say you don’t eat, how do I know if you don’t eat? Okay, don’t eat if you don’t eat. ."
……
Meng Fuyao sits firmly on the Diaoyutai, waiting for Her Majesty the grandson of Xingshi to inquire about his crimes. Regarding these three versions, Her Majesty’s soldiers will come to cover the water and earth. You have Zhang Liangji, and I have a bridge ladder.
Qiong Yao's version-"Let us die! Let us die! I don't know you! I have a dream, and I will never share with you..."
Gulong version——
She stared coldly at the shiny blade.
The wind blew by.
A fallen leaf suddenly fell three feet away.
"You should die."
Boom.
The man in black fell silently to the dust.
"It's better to die than I die." She bowed her head at the dead body, slowly blowing away the blood from the sword, "You know, I hate being ordered."
Zhou Xingxing version-"Your mother's last name?"
……
That night, His Majesty the eldest grandson entered the dormitory of Queen Meng on a hunger strike.
That night, Master Yuan Bao and Nine Tails in the corner fought for the best position. In the end, Master Yuan Bao sacrificed some hair on his hips and occupied the best terrain somewhere in the eaves.
That night, after listening to Master Yuan Bao in the corner, he squatted on the corner of the eaves and looked up at the moon silently at a 45-degree angle. The feeling of thinking about the ancients suddenly appeared, and the poetry was prosperous, and the mouth was a must:
"The big string is noisy like torrential rain, the small string is like whispers, noisy and misfired, the big pig and the piglet fall on the jade plate."
Master Yuan Bao felt that this poem was a painstaking effort, and it was worthy of transcripts to commemorate it, so he specially recorded it with paper and poria cocos, and offered it to the public to share a friendly view. Those who pass by without knowing good and bad will read it, reminding: this poem It seems that you are not original? Master Yuan Bao is unhappy-you say that I am very depressed. The words of this poem have been transformed by my own painstaking efforts. It comes from the rich knowledge I have acquired from my long-term immersion in poetry and prose essays library. All kinds of inspirations are turned into words gurgling. The end of the pen...what, you say it's a bit similar to the poems of the veteran who sells vegetables in the countryside? No, absolutely not. The second elder is a grassroots poet that I admire very much, but, really, it seems that I don't have much energy to refine other people's poems one by one... If there are similarities, it is pure memory!
Later, Nine Tails sighed: How many IQs must be achieved for the sentence to be memorized so accurately... Memory is really a magical thing...
This poem was sung from this, and good deeds entered it into "The Secret History of the Emperor", and produced a protracted study, discussion, debate, hype and anti-hype about the rich meaning of "Rapid Rain" and "Whisper"... …Of course, this is something later.
In short, in short, on that night, when Her Majesty the eldest grandson stayed in the Palace of Queen Meng for a full night, Queen Meng passed the meal the next day, and later, Master Yuan Bao offered some snacks, and they also appreciated her face.
Master Yuan Bao, who offered the snacks, asked your Majesty Yu Changsun, did you use your child's health to impress the arrogant pregnant woman? Emperor Changsun glanced at his pet with a very cloud-like eyes-see no evil! Don't ask any evil! Don't speak up!
In short, his eldest grandson Wou-ki would never say the stupid "what do you do if you don't eat children?". The pregnant woman is sadly reminded that she has become a fertility machine inexplicably, so how can she be hinted at? The "children's most important" stimulation? It's not brain damage.
His Majesty the eldest grandson smiled happily, thinking that it is time to change his posture tonight...
……
At this moment, Meng Fuyao has left the firmament and returned to Wuji, where the climate is most suitable for labor. The Wuji Palace jumped around the moment she arrived, making everyone pale and red with nervousness.
Ten medical officers were in charge of her delivery. The medical officers met on the road in the past few days and changed their greetings to: "Have you given birth?"
One day, a medical officer had breakfast, but the steamed buns on the stove were not cooked. The medical officer was in a trance after a few days of sleeplessness, and muttered in a daze: "It was born..."
The medical officers rushed away.
The maid who was waiting overturned the basin.
The **** waiting for the news rushed to the Golden Luang Temple.
Your Majesty is scattered.
Meng Fuyao knocked on the door with a crowd of people in front of the bedroom.
Your Majesty flies over the wall.
Her Majesty the Queen poked her head out, her willow eyebrows pierced up-can't you sleep?
……
Twenty days with a flick of a finger.
It's finally time when the melon is fully cooked.
Early in the morning, the entire palace was immersed in a tense atmosphere. Master Yuanbao wringed his paws, unconsciously plucking its precious golden hairs one by one, Kyuubi fiddled with his nine tails, thinking about if it could give birth Nine, with one tail supporting one, Tiecheng squatted far away in the flowerbed, acting as if to fertilize, but unknowingly plucked all the flowers that your majesty cherished, your majesty...
His Majesty the grandson is very calm.
He stayed in a special delivery room.
The gray-haired old lady repeatedly persuaded that this was not in compliance with the rules. His Majesty the grandson smiled very kindly and told the old lady very kindly:
"In Wuji, my words are rules."
Meng's parturient woman heard through the curtain, panting and yelling: "Rules are for breaking!"
The sturdy emperor duo made the old lady Fu silent, and had to retreat with tears. The grandson Wuji turned around, smiled and held Meng Fuyao's hand, and said softly: "It's okay, I'm here."
"It's okay!" Queen Meng waved her hand even more indifferently, "He must come out for me for a while, he dare not come out, if there are seeds in this life, don't come out!"
……
Threat... It is useless in many cases.
From the dawn of the morning to the middle of the moon, the medical officers were paralyzed by the toss, and the energetic Meng Fuyao also scolded the grandson Wuji and all their pets before they came out. The next generation of pets have greeted them, and made Master Yuanbao tearful and speechless——My son, my son, has been plucked by you without knowing where he is. In this life, I’m still a bachelor...
The moon glided past the mid-sky, moving slowly to the west, hanging on the eaves corner of the brightly lit Spring Palace. When it was about to fall, the sound of the baby's cry suddenly became loud and high, piercing the night sky.
"Give birth!"
"Born..."