Tears in Heaven Chapter 14: When I miss you (4)

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She shrank her chest, curled up there quietly, with her head resting on the tombstone, like the sparrow with wet feathers, unable to fly or move.

There were flowers in front of the stele, a large handful of lilies, rainwater accumulated on the petals, dripping drop by drop. The candle on the cake next to the flower has not been extinguished, and the shape of the number can still be seen vaguely. One is "2" and the other is "8". There are two small beams of light, and occasionally raindrops fall on the top and emit Sneer softly.

Nothing is written on the cake. Beautiful chocolate flowers are spread between the fruit and the cream, squeezed close to each other, as if they were blooming in the rain.

He stood there for at least ten minutes, even the candles on the cake were extinguished, and she remained motionless.

Her face was blocked by her arms, and she couldn't see the expression at all. Her hair was draped over her shoulders at random. Crystal raindrops came out from the ends of her hair, and her clothes were soaked. I wonder if she stayed here. how long. And she was motionless, as if there was no life left.

Suddenly he thought, should something really happen?

So he walked over and leaned down and gave her a push.

She seemed to be asleep, she gave a dazed "um" and moved a bit. At the same time, he smelled a strong smell of alcohol and found the empty wine bottle at her feet.

It turned out to be too much.

Since Zhen Rong was away, all he saw was her embarrassed.

She is curled up here like a stray cat, her fingers are as thin as a bamboo joint, and faint green veins can be seen, but she still clings to the tombstone, like her only support, the only driftwood. People feel a bit pitiful.

Gradually, the rain was heavy again, and the mountains were full of wind and rain. The bunch of flowers was trembling slightly by the rain, and each flower was pitiful. And she still stayed there motionless, as if she had lost consciousness. Her face is close to the tombstone, and her long eyelashes are covered, like a shrub with branches and leaves, but there are crystal raindrops, or tears, which seem to have not fallen.

The rain is getting heavier, the mountains are covered by mist, and a thin layer of water vapor rises on the ground, and the clothes are all soaked in a while. The heavy rain was like a note, and the face was sore, even her eyes were hard to open, but she didn't respond at all, she shrank there like a piece of dead wood, letting the rain drip. He wanted to go down the mountain or go to the pavilion for a while, the rain was so heavy.

He turned and walked down the mountain. When he reached the pavilion, his clothes were already soaked, water dripped from the corners of his clothes, and the mountain wind blew on him, making him feel cold. The smoke was also a bit damp, and the flame of the lighter was lit for a long time.

He finished a pack of cigarettes in the pavilion, and the woman didn't even come down the mountain.

This is the only way down the mountain. If she walks down, she will definitely pass by here.

Probably really drunk. He rubbed the empty cigarette case and threw it into the trash can.

The rain gradually decreased, and the sound of water droplets falling on the leaves was heard. He walked down the mountain. The road was very slippery. You could see snails slowly crawling on the bluestone pavement. When Zhen Rong was three or four years old, he liked to catch snails and watch them eat leaves.

Zhen Rong has always been a very quiet child, very well-behaved.

After he grew up, he was also very quiet. His mother always said that Zhenrong was the most well-behaved one in the family.

Lei Yuzheng walked to the parking lot and started the car. Before leaving the parking lot, he thought about it again, and finally stopped the car and went up the mountain again.

Going up the mountain feels that the road is slippery, the rain has stopped, but there is shallow water on the road, reflecting the shadow of people, and it is bright. He walked very fast, and after a while he saw the black marble stele, which was washed away like a crystal obsidian by the rain, and Du Xiaosu was still there, as if he had never changed, although the clothes were soaked, but she Still like a sculpture, leaning against the tombstone motionless.

"Hey!" He called her, "Wake up!"

She didn't answer him.

"Du Xiaosu!"

He called her name, and she didn't respond.

Finally, he pushed her hard, and she finally opened her eyes and glanced at him.

Her eyes were tired and hollow, and when she saw him, there seemed to be a little light in her eyes, like the last embers in the coal fire. Before he could react, she suddenly let go of her hand holding the tombstone and grasped him tightly. She leaped up and leaped into his arms, and then her whole body shook violently—he had never seen it before. Someone was like this, it was like digging out the heart and lungs, trying to vomit out all the internal organs, but she did not vomit or cry. She just clutched him tightly, shaking violently and silently, really silent, she didn't make any sound, but she almost exhausted all her strength. She was trembling, but there was no sound. She seemed to have lost her vocal cords, turning everything into stubborn grief, but there was no tear. He tried to push her hand away, but she refused to let it go. Her lips were purple, maybe it was cold, maybe because of sadness, she fainted suddenly.

He has never seen a person who can be sad like this. In fact, she hasn't even shed tears, but this kind of desperate and silent sorrow makes people feel more sad than howling.

He tried to wake her up, and she didn't even respond after pinching her for a long time. One of her hands was holding his clothes tightly, and it took him a lot of effort to break her hand that was holding the corner of his clothes, but he heard a slight "ding" and something fell on the ground. . When I picked it up, it turned out to be a ring.

He knew it. It was given by Mama Zhao. There should be three exactly the same. One was given to his sister-in-law, and this one was given to her.

Unexpectedly, she still took it with her.

Actually, it's not so pitiful.

He was stunned for a long time before putting the ring back on her finger and then driving her down the mountain.

When he finally tucked her into the car, he was sweating, and even his clothes were steamed dry. In fact, she is not heavy, and her body is full of bones, which makes him feel pain.

She was dazed in the co-pilot, and her body twitched from time to time, like a child, crying for too long, so she kept doing this. But she didn't cry, even the tears did not fall.

She slept for a long time without moving, like a baby in the womb, just sleeping quietly.

She may have had a dream, in which she lost herself, as if she was still very young, unable to find her parents, could not find the way home, only knowing to cry in panic.

Then Zhenrong came, he took her home, and he held her as if he had never left her. She felt very relieved, pressed her face to his chest, listened to his heartbeat, bang dong dong, familiar and kind.

But Zhenrong is no longer there.

She knew it was a dream, so she refused to open her eyes, and she refused to cry. She was afraid that if she moved a little, he would disappear, just like many dreams.

I will wake up after all.

She didn't cry when she woke up, although she cried loudly in her dream, holding Zhenrong, in his arms, in his warmest and most comfortable arms, she cried like that Pain, crying so desperately, crying so heartbreakingly, but waking up, it was just a dream.

There will be no Shao Zhenrong again, you can let her cry in her arms.

She knew, so she put her hand on her chest, where the pain was still faint, she knew it would hurt for a long, long time, for a lifetime.

She just didn't have Shao Zhenrong.

The room is very big and unfamiliar. The bed is wide, with a thin quilt, and the ceiling is full of mirrors. You can see yourself curled up in a ball.

She didn't know where it was, she just remembered to go to Zhenrong, bought flowers, cakes, wine, and then went to Zhenrong's. It was Zhenrong’s birthday, so she went. There was a picture of him embedded on the tombstone, and through the thin colorless glass, he smiled and stared at her as before.

Actually, she said a lot to Zhenrong and it was too hard, so she had to tell Zhenrong that it was too hard to live. She promised her mother. She knew that Zhenrong also wanted her to live well, but it was so hard that she could not tell anyone, only Zhenrong.

Later, it rained heavily and she fell asleep.

She didn't know where she was, or how long she had slept. The clothes on her body are almost dry, crumpled like pickles. She got up and saw that there was a bathroom inside, so she went in and washed her face. The person in the mirror was pale and haggard, like a lonely wild ghost. In fact, she was originally a lonely wild ghost, so she was alive.

She couldn't find her shoes, so she walked out the door barefoot. The corridor is full of carpets, and when you walk up silently, you can see the living room with height and depth.

The downstairs is very quiet, no one.

The huge villa looked very empty. She turned a corner. There was a door, and there seemed to be a small noise behind the door.

She opened the door.

In front of the western-style kitchen, there is a uniquely designed atrium for lighting. In the chic sunken courtyard, a huge osmanthus plant is planted. The rain washed the leaves of Dangui so shiny and shiny, and reflected in the window, as if they were green.

He looked back at her without any expression, then turned his head to continue.

Her vision is blurred, and his silhouette can be vaguely seen in the hazy golden halo, and the eyebrows and eyes are not very clear.

But he is gone, this is not him.

She knew it.

It's as if it's summer, but the morning rain falls on the leaves of Dangui, but it sounds like autumn.

He put the slices of bread on the plate, spread the jam, then pushed the plate in front of her, went to the refrigerator, opened the bread, and baked two more slices for himself.

The log dining table in the kitchen is very wide and long. The fresh flower arrangement that he sent in the morning was casually placed in the center of the table, covering most of his face, making it difficult to see his expression. She tried very hard to eat the bread, the knife and fork occasionally touched, making a slight clanging sound.

Both of them were very quiet, and the rain outside started again, dripping, falling on the bluestone slab in the atrium.

She plucked up courage and raised her head: "I beg you for one thing, can you?"

He originally thought she would ask for the house, but it turned out to be unexpected, not.

She and Shao Zhenrong once sponsored a few impoverished children from a Hope Primary School on a remote island. Those sensible children wrote to them almost every month. During the Chinese New Year, the children wrote and begged her to send a photo of her and Shao Zhenrong. The children have been hoping to see her and Shao Zhenrong in person. At that time, she and Shao Zhenrong replied that when Uncle Shao was on vacation, she must go to see them, bring a camera, and take a lot of pictures with them, and then watch them when they grow up.

"Can you accompany me to see the children, just this time, it won't delay you for a long time. You are very similar to Zhenrong... they won't know..." She murmured, "I really I don’t know how to tell them... If I say that Zhenrong is gone... Such cruel words, I can’t accept it myself..." She lowered her head, but did not cry, instead the corners of her mouth rose stubbornly, as if it were a little bit Sad smile.

He glanced at her: "You do a lot of things."

"We originally planned to support these children until college, but now...I will let them go on." She raised her eyes and looked at him, "I will only trouble you this time. I will tell the children, little Uncle Shao is going abroad soon, so there won’t be another time. I promise that I won’t cause you trouble again. This is the last time."

She looked at him with **** eyes, neither pleading nor pitiful, there was only an openness in her eyes, as if she was not asking him, but simply seeking help. He had always felt that she was pitiful, but sometimes, she unexpectedly surprised him.

He was silent.

The three-day round trip is a bit tight, but the time is barely enough. Du Xiaosu had no luggage, but bought a lot of stationery, paintbrushes and other things, and also bought a lot of extracurricular books, which turned out to be full of a fifty-liter mountaineering bag. After getting off the plane and changing trains in the rain, the journey was very difficult. I kept bumping on the road and had to pass two ferries in the end. It was already dark when I got to the sea, and I changed a smaller fishing boat to the island. It was raining, the wind and waves were heavy, and the fishing boat was small. She was seasick and vomited so much that she squatted on the side of the ship and did not dare to stand up. He brought her a bottle of water, because he often went out to sea to fish, so he was more comfortable than her. She just squatted there, holding the rope pulling the net and vomiting, but she didn't say a word, neither grieved nor asked how far away she could be.

Her stubborn look is a bit like Zhenrong.

After finally getting off the boat, it was probably the first time she crossed the sea on such a fishing boat. After getting her feet on the ground, her steps were still slipping, as if the ground was still shaking like the sea. There was a lamp on the pier, and the rain was flying diagonally, and the sea not far away was pitch black, and it still felt like a boat.

The children are holding wind lanterns, led by the only teacher, and guarding the dock to pick them up. The teacher Sun was not very old, but he was actually just a young man of eighteen or nineteen years old. Seeing them was extremely shy, he just rushed to help them with their luggage.

A child yelled timidly: "Uncle Xiao Shao!" Du Xiaosu was obviously taken aback. Looking back at him, he agreed with a smile and touched the child's head. Du Xiaosu seemed to be relieved. A group of children screamed like a nest of little birds, and immediately became lively. Several little girls called Du Xiaosu: "Sister Xiaosu!" An older girl stood on tiptoe, trying to open an umbrella for Du Xiaosu. Seeing the little girl was so strenuous, Lei Yuzheng carried the hiking bag on her back. Get out, take the umbrella and go: "I'll come."

Du Xiaosu was very silent along the way. She has always been like this after Shao Zhenrong’s accident. When she talked to the children, she became a little lively: "There is sea on all sides. We will definitely not go the wrong way. Come out to pick us up on rainy days?"

Ms. Xiao Sun was still very shy and said, "I answered the phone yesterday and said you are coming. The students talked for a day. They must come to the dock and wait. I can’t persuade you. Let’s say you come all the way. Of course, we should come out to pick it up." The umbrella was very small, and the rain was getting bigger. The little girl said seriously: "Sister Xiaosu, you see that Uncle Shao is getting wet." It turned out that the umbrella in his hand was leaning toward her. of. Du Xiaosu was taken aback, seeing that most of his shoulder was still wet, she didn't know what to do, and finally hesitated for a moment, and stretched out her hand to take his arm.

A group of children are all grinning, probably happy to see them close.

The school is built halfway up the mountain. The road up the mountain is not easy, winding upwards, almost slippery step by step. When I finally arrived at the student dormitory, almost everyone got wet. The so-called student dormitory is just a slightly larger room with a long sliding plank and a dim light bulb hanging from its head. Teacher Xiao Sun still smiled shyly: "We have a generator..." Before the voice fell, the light bulb went out.

The children all laughed, and Teacher Xiao Sun looked very upset in the dark: "still laughing."

A group of children laughed again. Teacher Xiao Sun said: "The old generator bought last year is always broken. If it is broken, no one on the island will repair it..."

Lei Yuzheng lights up the lighter and finds the flashlight from the mountaineering bag. Teacher Xiao Sun also found the candle and said: "I went to the stove to boil water. The children have not washed it yet. It is easy to get wet. Catch a cold."

Lei Yuzheng asked: "Where is the generator? I'll go and see." Du Xiaosu looked at him in surprise, but he didn't say anything.

Ms. Sun led him to look at the generator. Lei Yuzheng took off his jacket, then rolled up his sleeves and checked carefully: "It's not a big problem."

Because Teacher Xiaosun was in a hurry to boil water, Du Xiaosu took the flashlight and lit it for Lei Yuzheng. He hasn't touched a machine for many years. Last time he was in the university laboratory. Fortunately, the basic principles have not been forgotten, and the circuit is not complicated. Because the angle at which the beam of the flashlight shines is very limited, and a little farther is not bright enough, so Du Xiaosu squatted next to him, and the two people were almost heads together so that he could see the parts inside the case clearly. Too close, her breathing was warm and thin, brushing his ears, and the roots of her ears started to heat up for no reason. There was a faint scent in her breath, not perfume, but the scent on her body, if it was mixed in the diesel smell of the machine. He was a little suspicious that it was his own illusion, because the smell of diesel was so strong that he should not smell anything.

After tossing for almost an hour, it got oily, the generator finally roared again, the light bulb in the room was on, and the children cheered.

Back to the house, a group of children babbled: "Uncle Xiao Shao is really capable!"

"Uncle Xiao Shao is a doctor!"

"Can cure diseases and repair generators!"

"When I grow up, I will be like Uncle Xiao Shao!"

……

She also smiled and turned her head back, the dim light of the electric lamp shone on her face, and her cheeks were slightly flushed, as if she was joyful: "I will fetch water to wash your hands."

She ran to the kitchen without waiting for him to say anything.

Mr. Sun has already boiled a large pot of boiling water. She took a scoop, mixed it with warm water, washed his hands, and then helped Ms. Sun to greet the children for a bath. They are all children of fishermen on nearby islands. They concentrated on this small island to study. Because the big and small islands face each other across the sea, many students can’t go home twice a month. From class to study to eating, drinking and sleeping, it’s all this little island. Teacher Sun takes care of it. Fortunately, the children were very sensible, so they took the basin to distribute the water and lined up to take a bath.

Mr. Xiaosun gave them the room and went to sleep with the students himself. He still smiled shyly: "The price of diesel has risen. The generator can only be sent for a while. Rest early."

Lei Yuzheng felt embarrassed. Fortunately, Teacher Xiao Sun was also embarrassed. He put the two open water bottles in his hand on the ground, scratched his head and left quickly.

He closed the door, opened the hiking bag, took out the moisture-proof mat and sleeping bag: "You can sleep on the bed."

She looked at the single bed, Xiao Sun must have cleaned up the bedding specially, and the bedding was very clean. She said, "I should sleep on the ground." Although it is on the mountain, it is on the island after all. Rain, the ground is very humid.

He said: "It's okay. I often sleep in a tent when climbing mountains." He gave her another sleeping bag. "Would you like? It will be cold at night."

After washing my face, hands and feet, I lay in my sleeping bag. The sound of rain is clear, the hut is like a boat, the sound of wind and waves on the sea can be heard from a distance, and the light in the house is like a bean. She turned over and stopped breathing after a while, apparently asleep.

Not long after, the tungsten filament in the bulb flickered slightly, and the yellow bulb went out.

About that little diesel has already burned out.