Tears in Heaven Chapter 19: There are some words that only those who hear it will remember (2)
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"You are too poor for you!" Mama Zhao kindly poked him with the chopsticks. "I haven't seen you bring a girl back to show me for so many years. Are you really planning to be a bachelor forever?"
Lei Yuzheng said: "Why are you like my mother, you just talk when you see me?"
Mother Zhao laughed: "You know, hurry up and find a good girl, so that my mother and I can rest assured."
Lei Yuzheng laughed and coaxed Mother Zhao: "Don't worry, I will look for a beautiful and virtuous one who will keep you satisfied."
Mother Zhao said: "You have said this for a few years, and I haven't seen any real movement from you. You said it once when you ate here last year..." I remembered the last time Lei Yuzheng said this. It was the time when Shao Zhenrong brought Xiaosu back. Xiaosu lowered his head and used his chopsticks to poke the rice, and couldn't help but sigh.
Xiaosu knew that she was thinking of Shao Zhenrong, and she felt sad, and she felt even more uncomfortable, but she couldn't show it. She just said she was happy, and finished the meal.
Mother Zhao heard that she was on a business trip, and the colleague booked the hotel, she felt relieved a little: "Let your second brother take you back."
When she sent her out, Mother Zhao still held her hand, and finally patted her hand gently: "Zhen Rong is gone, you have to take care of yourself."
Across the car window, she kept smiling and waved goodbye to Mother Zhao. Mother Zhao stood at the gate of the yard, looking at her with a smile, as if looking at her own child. Because Zhen Rong was the child she brought up, Zhao's mother regarded her as her own.
She cried out until the car came out of the alley and Mother Zhao was no longer visible.
She already felt that she couldn't cry anymore, she had already shed tears, but she couldn't help it after all.
She didn't dare to go home, let alone see her parents. Because her parents have always wanted her to be happy, but the person she loves in this world is no longer there, how could she still be happy?
She was crying hard to contain herself, tears welled up in her eyes, running down her cheeks unimpeded. Through the blurred tears, the street lights passed by, one by one, like shooting stars. The most beautiful past in her life was like a meteor, once so bright and once so beautiful, but she did not have Shao Zhenrong.
She got it back step by step, but the happiness that was once is no longer seen.
No matter how hard it is, she has to be alone.
She didn't know how long she had been crying, and finally the car stopped and stopped at a red light. He handed her a handkerchief.
She took it, pressed her face, and made a fragmented voice: "Today is my birthday..."
She didn’t know who was next to her, she just had to talk, choked up, and stubbornly continued: “I’m twenty-four today. Do you believe it? He said that this year, on my birthday, we’ll get married...Last year Today, I am still the happiest person in the world..." She picked up the beautiful past, like pearls in memory, one by one, but there was no way to re-string them. She spoke upside down, because it was so beautiful, she could hardly remember that she had ever had such happiness, with him, everything, every day. He had loved her that way, he had treated her that way, and she used to think that it would be a lifetime.
But her whole life, before she turned twenty-four, she stopped moving forward.
Too many and wonderful things, she couldn't say anything, she could only tell them intermittently, and then more tears poured out. She cried over and over again, the handkerchief was soaked, and he brought the tissue box in the back seat to her. She held the tissue box and murmured about the past, what Shao Zhenrong did for her, and what Shao Zhenrong treated her well. Halfway through, she always choked up. Actually, she doesn't need to, she doesn't need to tell others, she just knows that it is her Shao Zhenrong, the one and only Shao Zhenrong.
Finally, she was tired from crying, and fell asleep holding the tissue box.
Lei Yuzheng didn't know which hotel she stayed in. She cried so exhausted that she finally fell asleep, while her eyelashes were still wet, with warm tears. He thought, he couldn't get her home again. But if you wake her up, it's hard to guarantee that she won't cry again. He had never seen so many tears in his eyes. It was endless. She didn't cry too loudly, but she kept crying and crying until he felt that even the seat of his car would be soaked by her tears. Up.
He was in circles on the Fourth Ring Road. It was quiet at night and there were fewer cars on the road. I didn't know where to go or what to do, so I kept driving forward, only the traffic lights flashed lonely. The car seemed to be quiet enough to hear her breathing. Every time he turned, he could always hear the turn signal "click", as if someone was there, ticking to tears.
Finally, he parked the car on the emergency parking belt and got out of the car.
Fortunately, there was still smoke on his body, so he turned his back to avoid the wind and lit it.
The city has fallen asleep. Looking down from the viaduct, the surrounding buildings have only sparse one-star and two-star lights. People all over the world are asleep, even the crying person is already asleep.
He stood in front of the guardrail, the red star shining brightly between his fingers, as if strangely calmed down. There was a roaring car behind him, vaguely like a light thunder, but as far away as another world.
Untouchable, as if out of reach.
Du Xiao woke up at three o'clock in the morning, only to find that he was leaning against the window of the car with a tissue box in his arms, sleeping stiffly. The car was parked on the wide viaduct with twin taillights flashing.
She was a little startled. The door of the car was finally opened, and he brought in the clear cold wind of late autumn and the strange smell of tobacco.
He didn't look at her at all, just asked: "Which hotel do you stay?"
In fact, she went to find the small courtyard house after leaving the airport. She didn't book a hotel at all. She whispered: "Just send me to one of them."
He finally glanced at her: "What about your luggage?"
She shook her head stupidly, except for her small bag, she didn't bring any luggage.
It didn't take long for them to get off the side road, walked for a while, and drove into an apartment complex. Finally, he stopped the car and said simply: "Get off."
She took the tissue box and followed him out of the car. He pressed the code outside the hall, took her into the apartment, and took the elevator directly upstairs.
The door of the house seems to be a fingerprint lock. Scanning quickly, a "click" is heard in two seconds, the lock rotates, and then the door opens, and the light on the entrance automatically turns on. When I walked in, I saw that the living room was very spacious, but the carpet was in a mess and a pile of magazines were thrown away.
She felt exhausted, and only heard him say: "The second room on the left is a guest room with a bathroom inside."
She held the tissue box and stepped on the soft carpet like sleepwalking. He disappeared for half a minute, and when he reappeared, he was holding a bunch of things, new towels and a new T-shirt: "Make do with it."
She was really sleepy, thanked her and took it.
She only remembered to put down the tissue box after entering the bathroom, took a hasty bath, and lay down on the bed.
The bed was very comfortable, the bedding was light and warm, and after almost a second, she fell asleep.
She slept very deep in this sleep. If it weren't for the ringing of the phone, she would probably not be awakened. She slept in a dazed state, and it was the phone. I'm not very sane, my fingers have caught the earpiece: "Hey...Hello..."
There was a noticeable start at the other end of the phone, and she suddenly realized that this is not her home, nor is this her landline. For a few seconds she didn't know what to do, but the hesitation was only a moment, and she immediately hung up the phone.
It is strange that the bell did not ring again, or the person did not try to call again.
She was completely awake, remembering what happened yesterday, she couldn't help but shake her head vigorously, as if it could make herself awake. But I always felt embarrassed. I sat on the bed and froze for a while, finally got out of bed to wash, and then walked out of the room lightly.
Lei Yuzheng stood smoking in front of the living room window.
The floor-to-ceiling windows were originally facing east, and the morning light was bright, and his whole person seemed to be caged with fluffy golden edges. He didn't move when he heard her come out, just dusted the ashes into the ashtray beside him.
He has a cold temperament when he is not talking. Du Xiaosu is always a little afraid of him for some reason, so his voice is small: "Second brother." Hearing her address, he didn't move, so she said, "Thank you, I I'm going back now."
He squeezed the cigarette out, and turned around, his tone was rare and gentle: "In some places, if you want, I will show you."
They went to many places. He drove the car and took her through the maze-like city. Those roads were very quiet, and the tall sidewalk trees on both sides were falling leaves. Occasionally, when the wind passed by, countless leaves flew down like a torrent of golden rain, wiping the car windows and falling down. Occasionally I stopped the car, he got out of the car, and she got out of the car.
He walked in front, not hurriedly, she followed behind. These places are very unfamiliar and unobtrusive courtyards. After walking in, I saw thick ginkgo trees and locust trees, hidden in the forest. The **** is deep and long, and the tennis court is vaguely visible through the small forest. Someone is playing in the court. , Laughter loudly. An old Soviet-style small building with a single family. The walls are covered with creepers. The leaves have begun to wither, so the veins of fine and dense branches and vines appear, like traces of time. The lotus leaf in the artificial lake has long been defeated. An old man sits alone in the pavilion in the lake and plays the accordion, the tune is long and sad. The remaining lotus left to listen to the sound of rain, in fact, the weather is incredibly fine, the city is always so high in autumn.
Lei Yuzheng did not explain anything to her, she just watched silently, but she knew that Shao Zhenrong used to live here, where he used to walk, the air he used to breathe, where he used to sit He used to spend many years here.
He parked his car on the side of the road at dusk, watching the tide of students pouring out of the school gate. When they walked in, the campus was already very quiet. The white poplar trees cover the teaching building, the gray-green glazed tile roof, the long maze-like corridor, like a lonely and tired giant. The more I walked back, the quieter I was, and occasionally I met a few middle school students, frolicking and laughing on the road, without even noticing them.
Go through the woods and follow the path to the lotus pond. Said to be a lotus pond, there is no lotus leaf inside, but there is a reed growing by the side of the pond. At this time, it is the reed flies. The white-headed reeds line the slanting light of the sky at dusk, and it is full of autumn, as if a light ink freehand brushwork. . There are still half of the monument on the grass by the pool, and the handwriting has long been obliterated and blurred. He stood by the stele for a while, as if thinking of something, the sky gradually darkened, and finally he walked under the willow tree, took a dead branch, squatted down and started digging.
At first, Du Xiaosu didn't understand what he was doing. He saw that the branch was too thin and did not work well, so he broke it after only two strokes. He still didn't speak, re-selected an angular stone and continued digging. Fortunately, it rained just two days ago, and the soil was still soft. She understood what he was doing, so she picked a stone and just wanted to squat down, but he silently blocked it. She didn't say anything, stood up and walked a little further, then stood at the broken stele and looked at him.
She didn’t know how long he had dug that day, but when it got dark, he could only see his side face where she was standing. The light from the street lamp leaked from the cracks between the branches and leaves, and his face seemed blurred. . There was a street lamp far away, the light was dim, his hands were muddy, and his cuffs were stained a lot of mud, but even if he did such a thing, he was calm and not at all embarrassed. In fact, he looks very serious like Shao Zhenrong, but he is not, because Shao Zhenrong never did this in his memory.
Finally, the box was taken out. The box was buried very deep. Du Xiaosu watched him wipe off the wet mud with a towel and put it in front of her.
She didn't know what was in the box, but she squatted down slowly, her hands trembling a little when she opened the lid of the box. The tin box seems to be a chocolate tin box, and the pattern and trademark can still be seen clearly on the outside. The lid has been a bit rusty for so many years. She can't open it for a long time. He still stretched out his hand to open the lid.
There was a box full of paper strips, neatly arranged, she only saw three words engraved on the lid of the box: Shao Zhenrong.
It is Shao Zhenrong's handwriting. His font at that time has become smoothly afterwards. But maybe the time has passed for too long, maybe the young man at that time only took a small knife to engrave his name here, so the strokes were intermittent, as if nothingness.
She squatted there a little stubbornly, motionless, as if these three words had sucked all of her soul, leaving only a void.
Those pieces of paper are scattered all over, usually with a few sentences written on them, all written by Shao Zhenrong. She took them out one by one.
From immature to mature, each one is different.
The first crooked character: "I want to test 100 points."
The second one even has pinyin: "I want to learn to play lan."
"Teacher Zeng, I hope you will be able to get back to class as soon as possible. Everyone misses you very much."
"I want to be the same as my eldest brother, and be a triple-good student."
"Mom, thank you, thank you for giving birth to me ten years ago. Dad, eldest brother, second elder brother, I love you, I hope the whole family will always be together like this."
"Qin Chuanhai, long live friendship! See you in junior high school!"
"Second brother, you are really handsome in fighting, but I hope you never fight again."
"The physics competition didn't get the place, because I didn't try my best, I was ashamed."
"Dad has gray hair."
"Teacher He, I really did that question."
……
The chaotic strips of paper, one by one, record the past bit by bit. He watched one by one, and she watched one by one, so many, one sentence and two sentences, written on various pieces of paper, some torn from the workbook, some blank paper, some sticky notes, some Little card...
"Li Mingfeng, I admire you very much, not because you are the first in the exam, but because you are the best monitor."
"Seniors, don't smoke in the corridor, or I will explode!"
"Han Jin, a good man is safe forever! Come on! We are waiting for you to come back!"
"Mom, happy birthday!"
"Scholarship, I am coming!"
"Never eat tofu brain anymore!"
"Big Brother, Sister-in-law, forever together! Bless you!"
"Night shift, night shift, surgery, surgery!"
"I hope the cold will get better soon!"
"Today I was very depressed. I saw the death of life with my own eyes, but there is no way to save it. In the face of the laws of nature, human beings are too small and too fragile."
"Come on! Shao Zhenrong, you must do it!"
……
Until I saw a small note with only one sentence written on it, unexpectedly it turned out to be her handwriting: "I am not a fool, I want to learn to cook!"
She remembered that this note was posted on her refrigerator, and she didn't know when he took it away. The next line of characters is very small, because there is not enough space, so it is squeezed into a line. She read it over and over, and he wrote: "Shao Zhenrong loves little fools."
She didn't cry, and didn't think of anything. In fact, it was all in vain. She tried desperately to find it all the way. In the past twenty years, she only occupied that little time. Not reconciled, unwilling, but what can she do, she is not blessed, and she can accompany him all her life.
She is holding the iron box, like holding the happiest time in the past, like holding his years she has never touched, those years she doesn’t know him yet, those years she doesn’t know him yet, those together There were days, things she didn't know.
Traveling through the distant time and space, no one can tell her how to go back, how to go back.
I can only see these cold things through my blurred vision. I can't find them, and I can't find them. It's all in vain and in vain.
Lei Yuzheng stood far away and couldn't tell if she was crying. He could only see her squatting there, her back seemed to have shrunk into a ball, maybe it was pitiful, she always felt that she was trembling slightly.
The street lamp shrank her shadow into a small ball, and she was still squatting there. He suddenly wanted to smoke a cigarette, but his hands were muddy. He walked to the pool to wash his hands. The surrounding area was too quiet. The cool water touched his skin and there was a slight noise. The water flowed from his fingers, as if he had touched something, but there was nothing. The water reflected a little on the bridge. The light dizzy slightly into ripples.
Du Xiaosu didn't know how long he squatted by the pool that day, until there were bright stars in the sky, one in the east and one in the west, appeared.
The night wind in the late autumn in the north was very cold. She held the iron box and shivered involuntarily. She just wanted to curl up before hearing Lei Yuzheng say: "Let's go."
She stood up, her calves were a little numb, and she crawled up her ankles a little bit paralyzed, like countless ants biting in her skin. He walked in front, as before, and did not look back, regardless of whether she could keep up or not, until he walked under the gray high wall, Du Xiaosu looked at the wall with nowhere to go, he was still a little dazed, he had already taken off his coat. Before she could react, he had already stepped on the branch, holding the jacket with one hand, and lightly supporting the trunk with the other. It fell very neatly on the wall, and then turned and put the jacket on the wall. , Reached out a hand to her.
She only hesitated for a second before trying to climb the tree, but she didn't dare to jump through the air like he did. Fortunately, he pulled her. For this reason, she was still very embarrassed to use her hands and feet together to fall to the top of the wall. Fortunately, he put his coat on the wall, until his elbow touched his coat and touched the warmth of the fabric, he realized why he should put his clothes here. Because she was wearing yesterday's half-sleeved sweater, and the cement on the wall was very rough. In fact, he is very careful and not a bad person.
The wall is not high. You can see the sparse street lights on the campus and the branches and leaves of the poplars in the alleys outside the wall. Under the orange street lights, it looks like a quiet creek forest.
Lei Yuzheng raised his head. The sky was a quiet gray-blue color. Many years ago, he and Shao Zhenrong sat here. At that time, what the two brothers said, he has forgotten. He always thought that he still had a lot of time and opportunities in his life, and he could come back here with Shao Zhenrong, climb the wall again, laugh again, as presumptuous as his youth more than ten years ago.
But no more.
Du Xiaosu sat down very carefully following his appearance, with the wind of nothingness under his feet, but when he raised his head, he found that the trees inside the wall and outside the wall were not of the same kind. Some trees had yellow leaves and some trees. The leaves were still green, and the branches, branches and leaves, from a distance, gradually melted into the night. There are sparse stars in the sky, and I close my eyes, as if there is a cool and soft wind passing by my ears.
He took a cigarette, just took out the lighter, and suddenly remembered and asked her: "Do you want it?"