Antagonists Are Very Well-Behaved Today Chapter 311: You are the most gentle light in the world (52)

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How do you say that feeling?

I was very helpless and powerless, vaguely knowing that he might be unable to go on.

Actually, he was mentally prepared for this situation.

After all, the doctor had diagnosed him a long time ago. He was born with a deficiency, so his body's resistance was extremely poor. I have been so weak and have induced many complications. You may die at any time, it may be today, it may be tomorrow, if you are lucky, it may be years later...

People who are chronically ill actually die the most painful.

Because someone else died, he died without warning, and his own death was unpredictable.

People who have been ill for a long time have all the abnormalities in their bodies, knowing that their bones are getting worse, and knowing when they will be unable to survive.

Foreseeing death, and then watching him step by step toward death.

You can't even save yourself.

Because the doctor has already said that there is no cure for medicine stones.

Every time before entering the ICU, Gu Xishi would have symptoms such as lethargy, chest tightness, shortness of breath, etc. He generally had a fluke, without such a strong ominous premonition.

But this time, Gu Xishi's heart seemed to have been sinking under the lake.

It's so cool.

Without the heat, his body became cold inch by inch, and he didn't even dare to stretch out his hand to hug Fanxing while sleeping at night, for fear that she would be cold by himself.

Carefully trace the eyebrows and eyes of Fanxing with the tip of your index finger...

The stars, my stars.

In the past, I always heard people say that I am not born a king, and I am old, which is the most powerless thing in the world.

He didn't know until now that what really feels powerless in this world is the difference between us in a healthy body.

The age gap can still be surpassed.

But the interval between life and death is really helpless.

"Fanxing, I have a hunch that I may not survive this winter." Gu Xishi did not choose to hide it.

Let Fanxing have no defense at all with the sudden passing of others. It's better to take advantage of this last time and give her a little bit of psychological preparation, so that it will not be completely unacceptable at the time.

Fanxing pursed his lips, and after a glance at Gu Xishi, he lowered his head stubbornly.

Don't listen or listen, Xiaohuahua chants.

As long as she does not listen, Gu Xishi will not die.

"You touch me, it's almost no temperature." Gu Xishi took Fanxing's hand, reached into his clothes, and pressed it on her body.

Obviously, he was talking about such a heavy topic about his own life and death, but he was stunned like a well-inspired and instructive teacher, calm and self-sufficient.

"So I think death should be very close to me. This is inevitable. Fanxing, we can't escape, you know?"

People can only continue to walk if they have the courage to face it.

The more you escape, the less you can get out of the mud.

If Fanxing can face his death, he may find someone he likes to support each other and spend his life.

She always evades, and don't even want to come out in this life.

Even though Gu Xishi knew Fanxing, he still underestimated the paranoia of Little Bear Cub after all. Fanxing herself was originally a besieged city, only she opened a door to let people in, she never came out...

"Gu Xishi, bad guy!" Fanxing bowed his head and cursed dully.

"Fanxing, for me, death has never been the most terrible thing. I think the truly terrible thing in this world is that I have never met you in my life." Life is never a matter of length. Those people and the things that happened are the true meaning of his life.

For more than twenty years, he was confused, waiting for death.

Meeting Fanxing is the true beginning of his life.

He even has a feeling...

In this life, he forced it.

Furthermore, I tried my best to do it at all costs. If it weren't for force, Fanxing would have no chance with him.

His bones are estimated to be the price of force.

This faint feeling made him still grateful even if he died. Thanks for this life, he can meet his little star.

"I don't want to care about you." Fanxing narrowed her mouth, sniffed, and stopped crying.

"You like me so much, you won't be willing to ignore me." Gu Xishi touched her face.

Now that you know the future, accept it.

Death is not terrible, it is terrible to indulge in it, but wasted the last time to get along.

*

The weather slowly cooled down and it was winter.

For these two or three months, Gu Xishi seemed calm and not like a person whose life was about to burn out.

When I wake up every day, I habitually kiss Fanxing’s forehead. He is getting less and less energetic, sometimes holding the stars in the bed for a whole day.

Fanxing feels that Gu Xishi is like ice cubes, it's cool.

At the beginning, his arms were still slightly warm. She hugs him and can transmit the temperature of her body to him.

But the later, the more cold he gets. Even if she was warm all over, holding Gu Xi in her arms, she couldn't make him warm.

So not only when I was sorry, but even Fanxing gradually felt it...

The vitality is gradually lost.

When Fanxing felt that she was hugging Gu Xi, it was like hugging a porcelain doll.

If you hug too lightly, you are worried that you will lose your time. But if you hug him too hard, you are worried that Gu Xishi is so fragile, you will accidentally kill him.

So every time Gu Xishi fainted and fell asleep, the little bear cub opened his eyes in confusion.

Confusion about death, fear of loss.

She is very afraid of losing Gu Xi, but she can't do anything.

Gu Xishi seemed to be very afraid of her being sad, so he told her over and over again that he was not afraid of death. In fact, he was already mentally prepared, and he was going to die sooner or later.

She wanted to reassure Gu Xishi, so she pretended that she was not afraid at all.

When I lied to Gu Xi.

Qihe, she is lost.

Xu Ruiqing, she is lost.

Xie Zhan, she is lost.

Qin Lie, she is lost.

Now, she is going to lose Gu Xi time.

The previous feelings were pulled away, Fan Xing now thinks that she feels empty, but when she thinks of losing Gu Xi, she feels sore in her heart.

The little bear cub stared blankly at Gu Xishi's brows lying beside him, watching...

A tear suddenly fell silently.

For the first time, a kind of grievance and incomprehension was born.

Why?

She didn't want to own a lot of things, she just wanted to raise a small flower, why did she lose every time?

Gu Xishi clearly told her that God is fair, and God will take back something else if he gives a person good luck. For example, he was born better than most people, so he took away his health.

But her IQ is lower than most people, so what did God give her?

She obviously doesn't have anything, so why bother to pick things from her hands?

Is it because she is a little monster?

Everyone in this world hates little monsters, so little monsters don’t deserve fairness, or anything. Including, florets.

But she didn't want to be a little monster. She was born as a little monster. What can she do?

Confused, hesitated, puzzled, puzzled.

If there is nothing she wants in this world from beginning to end, it doesn't matter whether it is fair or not. Even if she was still that little monster in a cage, she would not think about whether the world was fair to her. As long as she can dig a tunnel and eat a candied haw, she is very happy.

But finally, she also has what she wants...

So I started to learn to think.

Why?

Why can't you be fair to her a little bit?

The little monster also wants to have someone he likes.

Fan Xing tilted his head, blinked, and the teardrops on the curled eyelashes trembled. The ignorant expression is infected with a tinge of gloom and sickness, these worlds cannot be completed, and eventually turned into a seed of paranoia, which takes root in my heart——

The little monster wants to have someone he likes.

But no one gave a chance.

Gu Xishi said that God is fair, but it is not.

God won't give little monsters a chance at all. The chance is to win by himself. Fairness too.

God is actually no different from other people. He is bullying and fearing hardship.

When she was soft, everyone bullied her, and so did God.

When she was fierce, the little monster turned into a big monster, everyone would be afraid of her, and the same goes for God.

Fan Xing's head slowly deflected, like a sluggish little robot, as if opening up little by little...

She is obedient and has never had a chance to be fair.

Then...it's not good.

*

At the end of December, there is still more than a month before the Chinese New Year.

Gu Xishi was completely cold.

This time it was really cold from head to toe.

When I sleep at night, I still breathe. When Fanxing embraces me until midnight, my heart stops beating at all. Passing away in his sleep, he didn't even say a word to Fanxing before he died.

"Gu Xishi." Fanxing poked Gu Xishi in the waist and shouted.

No response was received.

Fanxing stayed for a long time, tears kept rolling in her eye sockets, she blinked her eyes in a panic, and didn't let the tears flow.

When the little bear cub hugged Gu Xi especially paranoidly, he hugged him tightly.

As long as I hold myself tight enough, Gu Xishi will not die.

Fanxing hugged Gu Xishi's body and slept all night, until the next morning.

Gu Han didn't know how crazy it would be to spend more than ten hours holding his brother's body so calmly.

"Gu Xishi is dead." Fanxing kept repeating this sentence over and over again.

After several months of preparation, Gu Han has basically been able to accept the fact that his brother is leaving...a ghost!

I can't take it anymore!

But in the last few months of his brother, the most worrying thing was Fanxing.

Gu Han must help his brother take care of Fanxingxian even if he is sad.

Gu Han originally thought that Fanxing would break down directly, and even prepared a tranquilizer...

If you can't suppress it, give it a shot first.

As a result, Fanxing's mood is calmer than anyone else.

To be more precise, she is quiet.

Apart from sleeping with the corpse for a night, which is scary, there seems to be nothing unusual.

Just staring at his brother's corpse, she has been sitting next to the coffin since the funeral, and will not move a step.

Moving a small stool and sitting behind the coffin, people came to express their condolences, and suddenly saw a dark head popping up beside him, almost died on the spot.

The funeral of the Gu family is very traditional. He pays attention to the peace of the land and does not intend to cremation.

When someone needs to guard the mourning hall in the middle of the night, and when everyone else can't keep going to sleep, Fanxing quietly climbed into the coffin and lay with Gu Xishi.

"Gu Xishi, mine." Fanxing held Gu Xishi's hand, very paranoid.

"It's mine for generations to come!"

"Don't be afraid, I can find you. I'm great, I can find you."

Better than Ergou!

Ergou can't recognize you, but Xiaoxingxing can!

Five days after the funeral, Fanxing slept in the coffin for five days.

Gu Han has always known about this, he just opened one eye and closed another. After all, his brother is gone, and the only one in the world who can take care of his sister-in-law is him.

Still pay more attention.

While waiting for the coffin to be built, Gu Han specially checked...

Make sure Fanxing is not lying in it, so that the coffin can be covered.

Sometimes being too calm is not necessarily a good thing. The more calm some people are, the more horrifying things they can do.

Gu Xishi was buried in a cemetery outside.

Everyone sighed that the Gu family was jealous of the talent. With that kind of mind, if he inherited the Gu family, Gu family still didn't know what kind of monster it would develop into.

The true relatives have no other thoughts except sadness.

After Gu Xishi was buried, Fanxing changed from staring at the coffin to the tombstone.

After everyone is gone, sit behind the tombstone, holding the dog leash in his hand, and keeping the dog on the leash...

"When Gu Xi, I missed you."

She remembered that when she first came to this world, she didn't understand a lot of things, and she had patience to teach her the way she was patient.

He is so good-looking, she has never seen such a gentle little wild flower.

Good-looking, gentle, and smart.

She has never seen someone better than Gu Xishi.

It is very cold in winter, and the dogs are sobbing and restless with cold.

After Fanxing sat for a whole day, her lips turned black when she saw her, but she always tilted her head and maintained her initial movement.

The dog desperately pulled the rope. It looked like it was too cold and wanted to run.

After Fanxing was pulled twice, he simply loosened the rope.

The dog that has been raised for a year barked and ran away quickly, not knowing which corner he was hiding in to avoid the wind and snow.

Fanxing looked down slightly and said to himself, "Look, when you care, you lie."

Gu Xishi said that after he leaves, Furou will be a friend who can always accompany her.

It turns out that it is not.

Dogs can also run away, it is impossible to replace Gu Xishi at all.

"The little monster’s parents and sisters don’t like little monsters. Other people don’t like them either. Dogs, too. Little monsters are just little stars that cherish time, not others..." /

She could have endured darkness if she had never seen light.

She could have tolerated all the injustices in this world, if she had never met the person she wanted to fight for...

Have you seen the gentlest man in the world?

His name is Gu Xishi.

He is the only ray of light that belongs to the stars.

Illuminated her ignorant world, led her to stumble out of the abyss of ignorance and ignorance, making her want to actively like, pursue, and protect the love in her heart for the first time.