Hollywood Domination Chapter 263: I have a little secret

"So, he knows." Maggie filled her glass with water, "And then, what did he say?"

"I didn't say anything." Jenny shrugged, "We'll start talking about the movie next."

Maggie showed her an angry and funny expression of helplessness, "Girl, if this happened in a TV series, I believe the audience would blow up the complaint calls. After you have been troubled by your feelings for him for so long, After finally finding out that he feels the same way about you—maybe even deeper—after he wrote you a love letter for an entire movie—you guys got it right, and it’s like It’s as if nothing happened, let’s start talking about movies?”

Jenny laughed because of her exaggerated tone, "Is this what a professional psychological counselor should say? I mean, so many exaggerated rhetoric?"

"Okay, then I'll take those five minutes off your hourly bill," Maggie said, "but still, I think it's a puzzling twist, and of course I see you've got people A joyful change. This time, when a major event happened—when a major event happened that you didn’t expect and wasn’t what you expected, you didn’t choose to close, ignore or deny it, but communicated directly with the person involved. It's a very good signal, what I don't understand is why you suddenly cut off communication and started changing the subject."

After Qifeng's outstanding first two consultations, Jenny and Maggie's psychological counseling smoothly shifted into a normal rhythm, and she began to open up to the counselor, at least she would not feel uncomfortable talking about her private matters, I also felt the comfort of sorting out emotions: people have a desire to express, and the factors that prevent a person from communicating with friends, in addition to the sense of trust, there are also reasons for worrying that the other party does not really care. I can find someone to listen patiently It's also a relief to have you explain your personal issues and know for sure that this topic is not boring for her and will not burden the relationship between the two of you.

"I don't think it's a break in communication," said Jenny, frowning as she struggled to express her feelings. "It's more like it's over. I mean, of course you can't expect him to tell you Feelings or something, Salvi isn't that kind of guy, he's just a very...very British character, like a typical English gentleman in one of those 19th century romance novels, if you know what—"

"I can see it," Maggie said, "the number one thing about people like this is that they don't talk, or they don't talk about their feelings."

"Yes, of course Salvi is very talkative on certain topics, such as movies and art, but he has never been secretive about private topics." Jenny said while thinking, "But the strange thing is that I can accept It's like we don't really need words to communicate, you can understand his attitude just by looking at him, and you will also understand that he can understand you in the same way. I am a terrible lover and I don't want to Falling in love, he knows, how does he know? Of course you don’t need to ask, it’s a bit too stupid to put all this into words, it’s very obvious, isn’t it? Of course he can see it from me, these signals are not for him It's no secret I'm attracted to him and he's attracted to me but I'm not planning on being in a relationship and he doesn't want to change that because our lives are so different and he doesn't want to force either of us to change .”

"And these are the things you feel from him," Maggie asked, "read the message from his face."

"Yeah...it's really strange." Jenny admits, "When we interact with others, most of our energy is guessing what the other person really thinks, and we have to use a lot of words to modify our own thoughts, so that I don’t want to misunderstand the other party, but my communication with Salvi has never been like this, it’s like... like you can read the words directly from his heart: ‘I know you don’t want to be in a relationship, but I don't need your permission to love you', 'I know we don't know each other yet, but love is not a product of understanding, love is a product of instinct' - these words Salvi would never say, but I really can Read it..."

She shook her head, and interrupted her narration shyly, "It would be too nasty to go on, but... this is indeed my true feeling. After he finished that sentence, we looked at each other After a while, I basically understood the other party's attitude, so I don't think this is an interrupted communication, I think this is a very successful and complete communication, so - let's talk about movies next .”

Maggie showed a thoughtful expression, and Jenny looked at her with wide eyes, waiting for her next words, and the consultation room fell silent.

After a while, Maggie said slowly, "I think this is a rare connection. You didn't have a very personal communication, but you have established a tacit communication that lasted for many years. This is not A relationship that everyone can have... Before him, have you ever met such a person? Whether it is love or friendship, is there a relationship that can be compared to him?"

Jenny thought about it, and she thought of her ex-husband...Dave...Chris, and of course countless passionate suitors, Syed, James...her friends, Lilian, Josh, Marie, Cesare...

"No," she said, "yes, no, he is... the connection and the attraction is... unique, I probably felt it from the first time we met, we didn't even have to talk And contact realizes that too, if you know what I mean."

"So," Maggie nodded, "Salvi and you are attracted to each other, just like you are attracted to him, in a way, he is in love with him, and he is also in love with you in a way." , this feeling is like destiny, a soul mate, but he knows that you don't want to enter a new relationship now, so he didn't pursue you, he chose-"

"Deal with this feeling alone," Jenny nodded, "Yes."

"So how did you feel after knowing this?" Maggie asked, "Are you happy, satisfied, touched, or depressed and disturbed?"

"I feel...well, relieved," Jenny said, "because it's important to me that it proves that I'm not being sentimental—but it makes me feel shallow to say it."

"No, this is a very normal psychology, I think it is very important to anyone," Maggie smiled reassuringly, "If you need, I can flood you with some psychological terms, But let's stop at this point for now - it's human nature, and it's important for anyone to prove that they're not self-indulgent, and it has another layer to you, because it proves Your psychological mechanism is still functioning very healthy."

"Yes, indeed." Jenny nodded approvingly, "Of course there is also joy, I don't think this needs to be explained, and there is also regret, yes, I like him very much, and he likes me very much, it's a pity we can't Go on..."

"Why not?" Maggie asked.

"Because I'm not a good lover, I'm so busy—the fact is, I'll keep busy, and Salvi's not the kind of person who would change the pace of life for a lover, neither of us, Plus... I don't know how to put it, Salvi's feelings... Maybe it's contradictory, because he's British, and his character has a very reserved British character, but on the other hand he's an artist, You feel that his affections are not as focused as those of an English gentleman," said Jenny. "I don't know if you can understand me. Loving several people at the same time, love is not a dedicated, warm and lasting feeling for him, so in fact he is not suitable for developing a fixed and long-term relationship, and I feel that his focus is not here now, he is more The focus is on his directing career."

"And will you be disappointed because you can't continue with him?" Maggie asked, "Does recognizing his qualities bring you depression?"

"Maybe it's a relief to me instead," Jenny mused, "Knowing that he likes me, too, and knowing that I didn't hurt him, it's a relief to me. Of course, loss is inevitable, but It’s not so serious that it’s insurmountable, maybe I don’t like him so much that I want to spend time with him day and night, maybe I’m too busy to think so much—I don’t know, maybe there are all of them.”

"Right," Maggie said, "I found some very interesting problems, maybe this has something to do with your recent occasional insomnia and nightmares, let's list them together, and it's up to you to decide which one we discuss first Is the item okay?"

Jenny didn't want to talk about her nightmare, she felt that the source of stress must not be the relationship between men and women-but she didn't know how to tell Maggie, so she just gave a vague hum, and Maggie gave her a sensitive look ——But she didn't ask any questions.

"From our first consultation, you said that you don't want to be in a relationship, and in fact you're never going to be in a long-term relationship in your life if possible," she said. It's normal, but I want to discuss with you the internal reasons for your decision, maybe we can talk about your childhood, which is a topic you haven't dabbled in so far."

She wrote this on the paper, and then looked at Jenny inquiringly, seeing that she did not express any objection, she continued, "Secondly, I found that you have a tendency to blame yourself. You described your relationship with Christopher , using self-blaming words so many times, it seems as if you blame yourself for most of the faults, if any, at the end of the relationship, and in your relationship with Salvi, you I am also worried that he will be hurt by you, it seems that you regard yourself as a dangerous weapon, and anyone who gets close to you may be injured."

"But I did break up with Chris." Jenny retorted reflexively, but quickly suppressed the urge to argue, "Well, I understand what you mean, the relationship ended because we were going to It's really not anyone's fault..."

She bit her lower lip and said hesitantly, "But I do feel ashamed of him, I think I hurt him."

"Why?" Maggie asked.

"Because... emotionally, he opened everything to me without reservation," said Jenny, who began to feel slightly uncomfortable again. "He sincerely invited me into his world, but I No, so I did hurt him."

"So you didn't, because you didn't want to, or because you couldn't do it?" Maggie asked gently.

"Because I..." Jenny chose her words, but she could still feel her sense of boredom rising—this wasn't aimed at Maggie, if anything, it should be aimed at them Dialogue: She is tired of the feeling of carefully avoiding and covering up the core problem, restraining herself all the time, and not being able to relax completely. Her origin is a secret, she has a secret—but this is not the problem itself, the problem is that no one knows that she has a secret, and the group of relatives and friends represented by Maggie really care about her and want to help her ( Of course they also benefited from it, but that's not the point), but because of the existence of this secret, their concern became a bit of a joke, and Jenny felt like she was in the center of a maze, and others wanted to walk through the maze to help She, but she can only watch them explore the wrong fields. This feeling made her very stressed, even very guilty, feeling that she had cheated on other people's feelings again, just like she "cheated" Chris back then.

"Because I can't," she said, and this desire to tell, the urge to tell the truth, took hold of her and made her voice her choice, "not that I'm handicapped in that, Even if I want to, I can't do anything, I have the ability, but... there are some factors that restrict my choice."

"Yeah," Maggie said, her tone calm.

Before she had time to regret it, Jenny said hastily, "Because I...I have a secret."

"A secret," Maggie repeated.

"A very important secret," Jenny said, "so important that it affects almost all of my personal life, and it can even be said to dominate my life... I can't open up about it without revealing it. Therefore, I cannot develop any intimacy while keeping this secret."

Finally said it...

Jenny has never imagined a scene where she would reveal her life experience to anyone, not even once, and when she hit this borderline, unexpectedly, she did not panic at all, but felt relieved and relieved——Break the can, break After falling to the ground, she simply explained the reason for her insomnia, "By the way, my recent nightmare should have nothing to do with my love life, it was caused by another secret of mine...but I can't tell you."

"Okay." Maggie said, her expression gradually became serious, "Can I ask why?"

"The second secret I can't tell you, because it's risky," Jenny said frankly, "As for the first secret...I guess it's because we're not close enough, I don't trust you enough."

"And these two secrets of yours are all yours alone?" Maggie asked.

"There is no second secret." Jenny said, she was not surprised to find that Maggie: maybe she had already guessed it, after all, her clients were all famous and wealthy, and it was impossible for them not to have a law-breaking little secret . "But the first secret is indeed only known to me."

"And it's very important," Maggie said. "It changes your whole life—let me guess if it's one of your sources of stress, maybe even the main one?"

Jennie admits that the secret is indeed a source of stress.

"This explains a lot." Maggie said thoughtfully, "Your personality is not particularly closed, you are not particularly repulsive or not good at communicating, but you are very resistant to psychological counseling. Even though you have grown to trust my professionalism and I can feel our friendliness and trust towards each other and everything is going well, I still find that there is sometimes a gap in our conversations and you don't seem to be fully engaged... ...I feel that you are still very mysterious and reserved."

"And that's exactly what Chris thinks," Jenny said with a wry smile, "so you know why I always feel guilty that I hurt him. Of course he feels hurt, some things are not you If you don't realize it, it doesn't exist, and it will still affect every aspect of this relationship."

"Of course," Maggie said, "I get the sense from your tone that this secret isn't a traumatic memory because you talk about it in such an open tone."

"Yeah, it's not," said Jenny, who was also trying to analyze her own feelings about the origin of the whole story, and she said slowly, "In fact, it's more like an undecided choice, and I don't know what to do. How should I put it, but there is indeed a possibility, let me..."

She glanced at Maggie, but she didn't continue, "Sorry, I can't do it, it's just...to explain it clearly is to tell you, and I...I don't think our relationship has reached this point One step."

"No problem, you don't need to push yourself," Maggie said immediately, "Then can we try to discuss how it affects you without talking about its content?"

After getting Jenny's permission, she continued, "Does it bother you?"

"It's very disturbing at times," Jenny admits.

"Are you reluctant to talk about it with someone you don't trust enough because it can hurt you?" Maggie asked.

Jenny thought about this issue for a while—no matter what she talked about with anyone, she didn't intend to mention her cheat finger, or the fact that she might be able to travel back. It's help. In the case of the latter, she still doesn't feel that she has much chance of accomplishing that grand goal, because, after all...how can it be called controlling hegemony?

So, no matter if she talks about this matter with anyone, she only intends to tell them that she has another personality and memory, and she can speak Chinese, is also very familiar with China, and can predict some big events, to prove herself Not being insane can be said to be easy, and even if the other party doesn't understand, most of them will not release the news to the media. Even if they do, it will not be big news without evidence——

"No, I don't think it's going to hurt me...or my career," she sighed somewhat resignedly, "I just don't think they'll believe me, understand me, and maybe it'll make them change What you think of me, destroy our friendship."

"But if you keep avoiding this problem and continue to keep it in your heart, it will become a big obstacle. Let's not talk about it hindering your development of intimacy," Maggie said mysteriously Pause, "Just talking about your nightmares and insomnia - going back to that simple model again, you're a strong man, and your bucket has a lot of capacity, but because of your secret, the bucket seems to be almost full all the time , once you add another faucet, say your new secret, it quickly starts to overflow again, of course, this time because you are not filming at the same time, so the symptoms will be simpler and milder.”

"Sleeping pills also have a certain effect." Jenny muttered, "And some little tricks you taught me are very helpful in boosting my mood."

"Yes, it can get you through the lows," Maggie said, "but it's not the answer to the root of the problem, and I hope you still talk about your secrets since it can't hurt Your words. Let's look at it rationally - I find that this kind of analysis method is particularly convincing to you - as you said, some things don't exist without knowing it, it will still affect your life, in all aspects, you can Saying it is still exerting a negative influence on your personal relationship, since the influence has always been there, why don't you say it, to a person you absolutely trust, you don't think he or she will use this secret to hurt you - then at least you will have a good chance of feeling relieved and relieved, and taking a step back, even if he doesn't believe or understand, you won't be too hurt, because, no doubt, even if you don't say it, It's also affecting your relationship with him, making him feel uncertain and hurt sometimes, and after that, at least he'll get an answer, won't he. At least you can stop feeling guilty because you've done it .”

She glanced at Jenny and softened her tone, "Of course, this is always just a suggestion. You have absolute freedom to choose whether to do it or not. I will not make any demands on you, even if you don't want to adopt this strategy. , we can also find some other ways to help you, you don't need to feel any pressure..."

These psychological counselors’ routine reassurance has no effect on Jenny. At least now, although she is also troubled, she is not too confused or depressed. She does not need Maggie’s careful care. On the contrary, Maggie You're right, she just likes this kind of sharp analysis, which allows her to look at her problems from another angle. And what she likes about counseling is that Maggie is completely on the service side, and Jenny takes the initiative, and she can stop when she feels uncomfortable without worrying about frustrating the other party in the conversation.

"I'll consider your suggestion," she said, changing the subject, "but that seems to be enough for today, can we talk about something else?"

"Of course." Maggie said, she filled up the water glass for Jenny, "Can you share your recent life, is there any event that touched you?"

"A friend of mine, Lilian, maybe you know her, she is Chesa's former fiancée—she and I are the kind of friends who can be separated for a long time without feeling strange—she is getting married, "Jennie said, she couldn't help smiling, "We were discussing whether it would be appropriate for me to be a bridesmaid. I didn't want to steal her limelight, you know, and she was vacillating, and she didn't want to be spoiled, but she wanted an Oscar. As a bridesmaid, she is reluctant to give up this gimmick."

Maggie also laughed, "It sounds very cute."

"It's true...I envy her sometimes, too," Jenny said. "Well, sometimes even a little bit of jealousy, but it usually passes quickly so it doesn't become a problem."

She let out a breath, "I think, what other trivial troubles are there recently... Oh, yes, I started to practice vocals for Rob's new movie, but I am very worried about his script. If According to the current script, I think "Nine" will be his Waterloo, but I'm not sure if I should advise him, because he feels very good about himself now, and I'm just a supporting role, it seems that I shouldn't judge it , which may destroy our friendship."

"Hmm," Maggie said, "but I thought you and Rob were great friends."

"He was nice to me," Jenny said, and she sighed, "Well, but I felt distant from him, maybe that's the problem with you socializing with a secret in your arms, you're always easy Feeling that your connection with others is breaking, disappearing, and you feel guilty for being kind and helpful to you.”

She tried to pull herself together and made up her mind, "But you're right, I should go and remind Rob and express my opinion. I should have confidence in our friendship-maybe I didn't have confidence in him before , but instead projected onto him my alienation from him—is that a psychological term, Maggie?"

"It seems that you only need a little training to be a psychiatrist." Maggie said humorously.

Jenny laughed, "Well, what else, oh, and I'm feeling poor lately...yes, I do feel poor, I just paid a bunch of cash for Marvel's Shares, spent my savings, it also cost me no money to buy a house, so I can only stay in hotels. You know people say that when money reaches a value, it is just a number to you ?——I guess the person who said that must have never run his own business, or my money has not reached that level, which is really strange, if calculated according to the market value, I already have a net worth of hundreds of millions, but I I still feel poor and can't buy what I want..."

#

Jenny didn't lie to Maggie, and she didn't mean to make her happy. Her housing problem is indeed a problem now: on the one hand, she took out the cash she had accumulated for Disney shares and shared with Cesare. After buying Disney's share of Marvel's remuneration, she really didn't have a lot of cash on hand, not enough to buy the 30 million mansion, which made her feel really poor; on the other hand, Jenny Doubts about living in a mansion made her less motivated to find a bank loan and try to get that house—the stalker who never showed her true face made her a little afraid of living alone now. Although she knew intellectually that living in a hotel would not make her any safer, and that the perfect security system in the mansion might be better protection, but emotionally, as long as Jenny thought that she would live alone in that big house, With no one living in the main house but her (the bodyguards and staff lived in the podium, of course), she felt an instinctive repulsion, and it was a difficult problem to solve because she could trust the invitation to live with him. All of my friends have actual difficulties.

Needless to say, Lilian is preparing for her wedding with Mark, and after that, going to Africa to watch the great animal migration, and incidentally provide medical assistance to East Africa for a happy honeymoon (very Mark and Lilian). As for Mary, she was also frightened by the stalker, and Jenny felt that it was not a good idea to let her accompany her. Besides, she and Nicholas have also lived together stably, and the residence is near Nicholas' newly opened fitness club. Malibu is not a real drive away.

Claudia is also a good candidate, she is more composed than Marie-but it is also impossible, because she is already pregnant and is preparing for the birth of the baby with her new boyfriend.

Josh is currently single and is also in Los Angeles. He and Jenny still talk on the phone from time to time, and occasionally have dinner together, but inviting him to live in his house means a new wave of earth-shattering scandals, so this idea must pass. —Even Jim, if he didn't want to, because it wasn't convenient for him to live in Malibu because of work.

So, Jenny is in a dilemma now, she has to buy a house - the media has started to report that she has been "no fixed place since being kicked out of the house by Chris, using a hotel as her home" and asked her to buy an urban area She is not willing to live in a hotel, she is not happy to continue to live in a hotel, and buying a house in Malibu is even more difficult both financially and psychologically - she has not yet considered how to deal with this matter, but it seems that she does need it in the near future Give yourself a push and make an early decision.

Put aside the matter of buying a house for now, and don't think about how to talk about "Nine" with Rob. After coming out of Maggie's clinic, Jenny drove directly to the airport, where she met Cesare and the team. Headed straight to New York on a private jet for a welcome dinner hosted by Isaac Bolmutter - a gesture of welcome to her new shareholder in Marvel, and chose to host it in New York instead of sending crowds flying In Los Angeles, it was Jenny who reciprocated. On the other hand, the team also deliberately made the noise louder, so that Warner could feel more urgent pressure.

"If you want to play a superhero, why don't you just cooperate with Marvel?" Kevin Feige, who obviously had a small calculation, was gladly invited to fly to New York with Jenny's team instead of taking the flight by himself In the business class, he was busy lobbying Jenny to give up the idea of ​​cooperating with Warner, "We have so many superheroes, Pepper has also put on armor, and we can also do linkage with "Iron Man"..."

"Kevin," said Jenny, now that she was that good-natured girl again, she smiled apologetically, "Didn't I tell you all, I won't play the heroine of DC, this is Warner and our cooperation, the main body It’s a big dream, and I think Marvel may not be able to accept such a cooperation model.”

She didn't wait for Kevin to answer, and immediately changed the subject, "I heard that some shareholders will also attend the party, can you give me a little bit of air—you know, I don't want to appear too arrogant and rude."

It can be seen that Kevin now feels that she is arrogant and rude, but driven by good business etiquette, he still introduces Jenny, "Of course Isaac is the main character, but, indeed Several major shareholders have also sent representatives to get in touch with you, I even heard that Carl and Ron will come - they seem to like your movie very much, of course, there is also Bill, he will definitely come..."

Isaac Bolmart, Marvel CEO, Bill Jaymas, creative director, these are all important management of Marvel, but for Jenny and Cesare, the shock they brought But it is far less than the two names mentioned by Kevin before. Jenny and Cesare looked at each other, and they both felt a little bit of shock——

Ron Perelman and Carl Icahn are well-known rich men on Wall Street. Thinking that this is the first time they have come into contact with Marvel's shareholders, they have encountered such two big fish...