I Just Came to Borrow a Light Chapter 27:

Brother.

When Yuan Wu was not even used to being a person with a younger brother, Yuan Shen called him, brother, with a smile like sunshine.

He doesn't know how Won-shin can adapt so quickly to this role change.

Not many years after Yuan Wu just pronounced his name correctly, and after saying that my name is Yuan Shen, I will not be laughed at when I am 5 years old, the name Yuan Shen no longer belongs to him.

He hasn't even got the stroke order of the two characters Yuanshen right, and he needs to face up to another name, a name that once belonged to his older brother.

"Yuan Wu," grandma looked at him, "you will be called Yuan Wu in the future, you are your elder brother, and Yuan Shen is your younger brother..."

Because of you, he will be sick all the time, because of you, his body will be so weak, because of you, his brain will be hurt...

He didn't live with Yuan Shen before elementary school. For him, Yuan Shen was just a name, belonging to the "younger brother" who only got along with him briefly during the winter and summer vacations.

A most familiar stranger.

The closest stranger to him in the world.

Won Shin smiled brightly, with sunshine and bright eyes.

But Yuan Wu has always been afraid of being with him, afraid that his face is exactly the same as himself, and even he can't tell the difference in the mirror.

"What do you think," Won Shin put the step down on his shoulder, "Which one is me?"

"You are you." This kind of question makes Yuan Wu feel depressed every time, which is you and which is me, this kind of question will make people feel a sense of aggression.

A frightening fear of feeling that someone covets one's mind and consciousness.

"Could I be you? Yuan Wu, Yuan Shen, you used to be my younger brother," Yuan Shen rubbed his face, "Did we change?"

"Yes." Yuan Wu turned his head.

"Is it really changed? Has it really been changed?" Yuan Shen whispered in his ear, "Could it be... never changed? We are all alone, and we shouldn't be. Two people..."

Maybe one person is redundant, you say, will it be me? Is it me? Would you be much happier without me, if you were alone?

Don't think about it.

Who am I, are you me? Could I be you?

Yuan Wu was afraid to be alone with Yuan Shen, Yuan Shen whispered as if he was talking to himself about those questions, he had no answers and didn't want to think about them.

Won Shin is in pain, that's the only thing he feels.

A man who is perpetually struggling with a vortex of sickness and questioning the meaning of his own existence.

How painful is it?

Yuan Wu didn't know, the panic when he first saw Yuan Shen's epileptic seizure was still engraved in his mind. Yuan Shen's clenched teeth, rigid body, and empty eyes made him scared.

Only fear, not even as a brother, as Won Shin's older brother should be worried and distressed.

The tears that rolled down from the corners of Yuan Shen's eyes were like hot lava, burning deep scars in his heart.

A scene that will never be forgotten in this lifetime.

In those days when Yuan Shen was constantly searching for his true self, verifying the meaning of his existence, and asking whether the truth of life was in other people's memories or in his own mind, in those days when he kept thinking with self-blame and longing In those days when he wanted to get close to "brother", Yuan Wu gradually drifted away from him.

Fear and resistance, behind Won Shin's bright smile and cheerful personality, the real person he can never see or touch.

Although every time he sees Won Shin, he clearly realizes that this man is his brother, while deliberately avoiding him, he also has an indelible sense of intimacy with Won Shin from the same source.

"What?" Jiang Chengyu's voice on the phone was astonished, "When did you disappear? He never came to my place..."

"I don't know, I slept in the living room yesterday," Lin Cheng walked around the room, "I think he remembered everything and said it, there shouldn't be any problem, and He also drank so much alcohol that when I put him to bed, he couldn’t even lift his arms like a pig! As a result, there was no one in the house when I came together!”

"Is his stuff there?" Jiang Chengyu asked.

"What, he didn't bring anything in the first place, he didn't have anything, just all the clothes are mine!" Lin Chengbu opened the closet and looked, "He didn't bring any other clothes from me...you said Will he go back to Shenqiao?"

"It's possible, go and have a look," Jiang Chengyu said, "I'll ask someone to visit his house right away."

"Okay, call me if you have news." Lin Chengbu hung up the phone, washed quickly, put on his clothes and went out.

While driving to Shenqiao, he called Datou's mother's mobile phone, but the phone was stopped due to arrears.

Called Yuan Wu's cell phone again and turned it off. Since the phone was called to Yuan Wu, he never saw it again, and he didn't know whether Yuan Wu put it away or just threw it into the water.

Fortunately, today is Monday. There are almost no cars on the way to Shenqiao. He flew all the way to get there, and he didn't even feel the bumps of the dirt road.

Everything is as usual at the old pier. The only thing that has changed is the color of early autumn. The strong green has become lighter and the wind is cool.

The season in the country comes earlier and more clearly than in the city.

The big head is like a sign of the old wharf, still squatting there with the gourd on his back, but the small vest on his body has been replaced with long sleeves.

"Brother Xiaobu!" Datou turned around when he heard the sound of the car and jumped up in surprise.

"Big head is good," Lin Chengbu jumped out of the car, hugged Big Head, and rubbed his hair, "Has brother Xiaowu been here?"

His eyes lit up, but he quickly lowered his eyelids: "I haven't been here. I haven't seen him for a long time. My mother said he went back to the city."

"That's it," Lin Chengbu was a little disappointed. To be honest, apart from Shen Qiao, he really didn't know where else to find Yuan Wu. "Let's go to his boat and stay for a while, okay?"

"Okay." Datou nodded happily.

When he was heading towards Yuan Wu's boat with his big head, Lin Chengbu's cell phone rang, and Jiang Chengyu called: "There is no one there, as always, the ash on the lock is almost enough for a bowl of sesame paste. ."

"I'm not at Shenqiao either," Lin Chengbu sighed, "I'm going to his boat now to see. The kids in his neighbor said they didn't see him coming. Where do you think he could go?" /

"More, he doesn't only know us, he also has a few friends. I'll ask them one by one here, and if you can find them there," Jiang Chengyu sighed again, " But I guess he didn't go to a friend's house, and he wasn't a troublemaker, so it's unreasonable to suddenly go to a friend's house after being missing for so long."

"Do you think he will have an accident?" Lin Chengbu asked.

"Probably not," Jiang Chengyu thought for a while, "I think seeing what he was like yesterday, he has remembered everything that should be remembered. Even pretending to have amnesia is useless, it's just that he has been burying these things and never touching them. , This is all turned out at a glance... It should be very painful, Yuan Shen should have been dead for at least two years, but his memory may still be the same as yesterday, understand what I mean?"

"Understood," Lin Chengbu jumped to the bow of Yuanwu, "I'm not completely illiterate."

"Stand! What! Go!"

Lin Chengbu was taken aback by the movement, he almost raised his hands, and took two steps back before realizing that it was a sensor, his own loud voice.

"Back again! Back again!"

Lin Chengbu pushed open the cabin door and suddenly paused when he turned off the sensor.

During the day, Yuan Wu usually doesn't turn on the sensor when he's not sleeping. When he came over that day, the sensor didn't seem to ring... Did Yuan Wu come back?

He stared sharply into the cabin.

There is no Yuanwu.

Everything was thrown around as casually as when Yuan Wu was here.

"Can I play with this?" Big Head picked up a measuring cup.

"Well, don't play the big one, smash it." Lin Chengbu nodded.

Big head sat down on the boat, tossed the two measuring cups around and started playing with enthusiasm.

Lin Cheng walked around the bow and stern twice, but found nothing else.

He sighed, went back to the cabin, sat on the cushion that Yuan Wu usually sat on, and looked at the mess in the cabin.

Small table, scratch pad, coffee mug, coffee machine, coffee beans in airtight cans, half a carton of milk, laptop computer, empty cigarette case, ashtray full of cigarette butts, casual clothes, small blanket ...

Lin Chengbu dragged the small table in front of him, opened the notebook, and pressed the switch. The screen did not light up, and the battery was dead.

He took the plug and pulled out the plug in the pile of clothes to charge the laptop. A corner of paper in the half-open suitcase next to him caught his eye.

He almost jumps over to open the lid of the suitcase.

Compared with Lin Chengbu's naked tour, the box was more than half empty. Lin Chengbu was almost certain that Yuan Wu took the clothes from the box!

There are very few clothes left, and there is a note paper on it, which is probably torn from the note pad on the table, with a line of words on it.

- I'm fine, don't look for me anywhere.

There is no signature and no date. Lin Chengbu held the paper for a long time and looked back at the big head: "You really didn't see Brother Xiaowu coming over today?"

"No," the big head also looked at him, "I woke up in the morning and was at the dock."

"What time did you get up?" Lin Chengbu asked.

"Mom said it's 8:30 to get up," Datou said, "I'll get up."

Eight thirty?

What time do you leave the door at Yuanwu?

Lin Chengbu was a little shocked, where did he find the bus! Did you call?

He took the note and took a photo with his mobile phone and sent it to Jiang Chengyu.

-Do you know Yuan Wu's character? Did he write this?

-It's his word, it looks like a dog crawling, it's not as good as a primary school student, where did you find it?

-In his suitcase on the boat.

-I rely on...

Lin Chengbu was about to rummage through the suitcase to see if there were any clues when the phone in his pocket rang.

He took out and glanced at him and immediately answered the phone: "Brother Hui?"

"You drove the shovel away?" Yang Hui's anxious voice came from there.

"No," Lin Chengbu was stunned, "I don't have your garage key either."

"Why did I rely on that car?" Yang Hui shouted.

"The car is gone? You mean Yuan Wu's shoulder bag?" Lin Cheng took a step and stood up.

"Yeah, as soon as I opened the garage door in the morning, I saw that the car was gone, and my own car was still there!" Yang Hui was in a hurry, "Fuck his car is an old car, and now I want to buy a second-hand car. No one is willing to sell!"

"Does Yuan Wu have your garage key?" Lin Chengbu asked, Yang Hui and Yuan Wu are good car friends, and the car has been in Yang Hui's garage since he was exhausted.

"Yes... I'm relying on you to say that he drove away?" Yang Hui was stunned.

"It should be, he... It should be remembering the past." Lin Chengbu suddenly breathed a sigh of relief, Yuan Wu drove the scorpion away, which proved that he should have sorted out the memory of the past. , He drove this car for many years, and even repaired it himself.

"Really?" Yang Hui asked, "Are you sure? I can't lose this car. I don't even know how to pay."

"Really," Lin Chengbu said, "he may contact us after a while."

"After a while...you mean you can't contact him now?" Yang Hui asked.

"...Yes." Lin Chengbu sighed.

"Are you really saying that you are his boyfriend, he crashed into a tree in a car accident and lost his memory?" Yang Hui said, "Then he ran away as soon as he woke up and realized that you lied to him?"

"Brother Hui, you can go and write a novel." Lin Chengbu clicked his tongue.

After chatting with Yang Hui for a few more words and letting him tell him the news of Yuanwu, Lin Chengbu hung up the phone and looked at the note in his hand in a trance.

Seriously, this is the first time he has seen Yuan Wu's words. The words are really ugly. The strokes are not next to each other, and they are still cursive. I guess they are better than him.

"Hello Uncle Chen." Datou suddenly shouted.

Lin Chengbu turned his head and saw a man jumped onto the bow of Yuan Wu's boat, and then entered the cabin in two steps. When he saw Lin Chengbu, he was stunned and said loudly: "You Are you Won Shin's friend?"

"...Ah, yes." Lin Chengbu hesitated before nodding.

Yuan Shen?

"I sold this boat to him," the man said. "He said in the morning that the boat is no more, let me deal with it..."

"He came this morning?" Lin Chengbu immediately asked.

"Well, I said what to do with the things on the boat," the man looked at the things in the cabin, "he said that a friend would come to pick it up, and if no one came, let me pack it up next week... Then you're here. Just tidy up and take his things away, by the way, he said that the motorcycle was given to me."

"Got it," Lin Chengbu said, "when did he buy this boat?"

"Two or three years, I can't remember." The man replied.

"Is it Yuan Shen?" Lin Chengbu asked, "When he bought the boat, he said his name was Yuan Shen?"

"Yeah, I've seen all the ID cards," the man nodded, "but he didn't live much after he bought it. He came back after a few months, and has been staying until now."

"Then..." Lin Chengbu hesitated, "Has he changed?"

"What are you doing?" The man looked at him suspiciously.

"I'm his friend. He's... encountering something, I just want to ask, is there anything... different from him before?" Lin Chengbu smiled.

"It's not the same, what's the difference?" The man frowned and thought impatiently, "I was very happy when I bought the boat. "

"Thank you," Lin Chengbu said, "I'll pack up now, and I'll take the things in a while."

Very happy, happy all day long.

The boat was bought by Yuan Shen.

Probably Yuan Wu came to live here after Yuan Shen's accident.

That day, Datou's mother also said that Yuan Wu was strange. A person who was happy every day suddenly changed... It's a bit strange.

After the man left, Lin Chengbu started to pack Yuan Wu's things. In fact, these things looked messy, but not much. After the suitcase was full, there was not much left outside.

Yuan Wu has been here for so long, it seems that he is maintaining the most basic and simple life.

After packing up, Lin Chengbu heard a small sob behind him.

He turns around, startled to find his head slumped in a corner wiping tears.

"What's the matter?" He hurried over and hugged his head, "Why are you crying?"

"Brother Xiaowu, yes, did you leave?" Big head rubbed his eyes, tears on the back of his hands, "He won't come back, he's back..."

"No, no," Lin Chengbu patted him, "Brother Xiaowu... went on a trip."

"I don't want his ships..." Datou cried sadly, "Is he not going back to the dock..."

"He's moved, he's changed jobs, so he can't stay at the dock all the time. It's too far from where he goes to work," Lin Chengbu said softly, "but he'll come back to play with you, I promise."

"Really?" The big head looked at him, "I planted a pot of flowers and wanted to give them to him. I can give them to him when he comes back to play with me."

"Well, you remember to water the flowers, don't let the flowers wither when he comes back to you." Lin Chengbu said.

"Watered." Big Head nodded.

After soothing the big head, Lin Chengbu moved all the things in the cabin into the trunk of the car, and there were a lot of piles on the back seat.

He left two measuring cups for the big head. Although he didn't ask Yuan Wu's opinion, he probably wouldn't disagree.

When he was about to leave, he asked Datou to take out the potted flower and took a picture with his mobile phone. It was a flower cut out of a beer can and filled with soil seeds. The beer can was probably made by Yuanwu. I don't know what kind of seeds I put, just a little sprout appeared.

"Remember to water." Lin Chengbu patted his head.

"Hmm." The big head responded with a force.

He took a carload of Yuanwu's things and returned to his house. Lin Chengbu ran three times before moving everything into the house, mainly because there were a lot of bits and pieces, and in the middle he threw the pot on the ground.

He didn't know why he had to bring Yuan Wu's broken pot home.

He couldn't find a place to put it for a long time, and finally he moved a pot of broken flowers on the balcony into the pot.

After finishing everything, he slumped onto the bed.

The bed was quite messy, and there were traces of Yuan Wu's nap last night, but when he buried his face in the pillow, he couldn't smell Yuan Wu's breath, not even the smell of alcohol... This made him A little disappointed.

"Hey..." Lin Chengbu rolled over and lay down, took out the note from his pocket, held it up in front of him and looked at it, "Yuan Wu, where have you been hiding?"

He flicked his fingers up and down the paper, and after his arms were sore, he put the note on his forehead and closed his eyes.

This time, you shouldn't have to worry about Yuan Wu's mental state, but probably his emotions.

He was there when Won Shin committed suicide, and tried hard to get Won Shin back, but was unsuccessful.

That kind of desperate and terrifying suicide method, just listening to it makes people feel cold all over the body. For Yuan Wu, who experienced it personally, he can't understand how much stimulation and damage he has.

How long will it take for Yuan Wu to come out of this sadness.

The phone that was thrown aside rang, it was a text message, he took a look at the phone, and jumped straight from the bed to the ground to stand.

Number display, Yuan Wu.

I'm fine. Also, thank you.