Ice Fantasy Chapter 28: Postscript (1)

I always tell myself that even if we are not together one day, we should still be together.

——Inscription

The city in memory

——The postscript that is not postscript

1

I looked back at the path of my growth, day by day, and I stood alone on the side of the road with my hands in my trouser pockets. I saw countless crowds walking past me with no expression on their faces, holding coffee, drinks, textbooks, and briefcases. Their haste made me look like an idler.

Occasionally someone stops and smiles at me, as bright as a peach blossom. I know that those who stay will eventually become the warmth in my life, shining on me unswervingly, becoming the light source in my life.

2

When I was young, young enough to speak willfully, live willfully and do anything willfully, I once wrote: My friends are my courage to live, they give me the ability to live, let me Don't be in a hurry to face the world.

This postscript is dedicated to my friends, to those friends who used to be crazy and sad with me and ride a bicycle through our thin youth. I think we all remember how the hourglass of time in those green years carved sadness and sadness on our faces and traces that the years can't erase.

Let us sigh in a long, long, long time. Sigh that I have been so soul-stirring. Sigh that time flies by so quickly. In a daze, as soon as we turn around, we are getting old so quickly.

3

Little A is in Japan and studied economics in Waseda. He always sends me his photos and writes long, long letters. I know he is still used to writing late at night when I see the time on his e-mail. When he was in China, he always wrote to me on white A4 paper, but when he left China, he started typing on the keyboard in the middle of the night.

Xiao A is a bright person, living happily and simply under the sunshine, pure and majestic, peaceful and indifferent to the world. He's not a writer, he doesn't like literature, the only thing he read about literature is the messy articles I write. Such a boy is pure and happy. I always believe that children who are involved with literature will never be happy. Their happiness is scattered in some unknown place, just like naughty children wandering into the sky, and they still refuse to come back after the sky is bright. He said that he always feels sad when he reads what I write, because I have never found my own happiness. I said, little A, don't worry about me too much, one day you will leave me, I don't want to get too used to your care.

I was in my first year of high school when I said this, and when I was a freshman, he was actually across the border from me, writing me e-mails late at night, and then going to bed. Walking alone in the wind of Waseda during the day, but still smiling.

He can live happily alone. And I can't.

Little A in the photo is smiling brightly, standing under the cherry blossom tree, the sun is like mercury scattered on his white long windbreaker, under the photo he wrote: This is my favorite cherry blossom tree.

In a trance, I remembered the phone call Xiao A gave me before I went to Japan. I heard the voice that accompanied me every day and said to me, I am very sad. I am afraid of standing alone on the horizon without friends. I know that the friend Xiao A mentioned is me, because I am his only friend.

That day, Xiao A kept talking on the phone until the phone ran out of power. I never knew that Xiao A would talk so much. He has always been a quiet person. The more I held the phone, the more sad it became. At the last moment before his phone cut off, he told me that if one day we were not together... Then suddenly the phone cut off, and the rustling sound was like the rain outside the window. I put down the phone and continued talking softly, as if we were together. Then I fell on the bed and fell into a deep sleep.

And time goes on. I also grew up slowly, and the child with a bright smile now has a cold face.

Standing at the age of 19, standing at the turning point of youth. The gap between one life and another.

4

Weiwei is a very energetic girl who has been learning to draw for 12 years since she was a child. I have seen her draw beautiful landscapes with very simple pen lines, but she doesn't draw anymore. Because of the college entrance examination. When her father told her that you have to give up your future and dreams, she gave up the brushes and paints that she had relied on for 12 years. I don't know if she had no hesitation when she made the choice. I only know that I hesitated for several months when I chose science. After that, Wei Wei never talked about her painting again. It's just that I know that she never participated in the school's art festival again-even though she easily won the first place. One of the most impressive scenes in my memory is when she passed the Tsinghua University Academy of Arts and Design admissions bulletin board and suddenly stopped in her tracks. Five minutes later, she turned to me and said, "Let's go." I looked at Wei Wei's back from behind, her black windbreaker was suddenly filled with the cold winter wind, I don't know why, I suddenly felt very sad. But I didn't tell her, so I ran up smiling.

And this happened a long time ago, so long ago that my memory is blurred, like a large piece of glass on a bus in the fog. , there will be large drops of water falling down. Just like the unsparing tears when we were young.

I went out alone in the car that day. I leaned against the tall glass window of the bus. The car was on an elevated bridge and passed through the tunnel. Suddenly I saw another bus passing by. There was a sentence printed on the back of that car: 20 years have passed, but youth has never disappeared.

I don't know what brand's advertisement it was, but it touched me deeply. Like a beautiful crystal ball, that is the dreamland that all our children once had, like Alice in Wonderland. However, the grown-up Alice lost the key. Should she squat down and cry sadly, or should she continue to move forward bravely?

Weiwei lives alone in Chongqing, another city not far from the city where we grew up. If she wants, she can even go home every week. But she said, I have to get used to being outside alone, because one day, we will not be together.

I remember when we graduated from the third year of high school, we were in a wave, pulling apart, shaking, and the room was full of beer foam. All the people talked and sang so loudly that they almost lost their voices. A large group of people swayed on the street late at night, until late at night or early in the morning when there were no people left. In the end, there are usually only a few people left, all of whom are good friends, Wei Wei, CKJ, Xiao Jiezi and me.

Later, everyone lay on a bench in the garden in the middle of the street, laughed head to head when drunk, and then cried sadly. Talk to each other, but forget what you said. We used to lie on those benches on those nights and watch the dark sky light up.

When I left the city where I grew up and came to Shanghai, Wei Wei gave me a book, I opened it on the plane, and then saw the beautiful font written by Wei Wei on the title page:

To four:

The friend who gave me the most warmth and comfort in the third year of high school. When we listened to songs together before, we heard a sentence "In that cold season, everyone avoided the wind and frost, and only you sang with me." This is the most memorable sentence I heard in my third year of high school, and we always said: After this July, everything will be fine, and everything will be there. And now we finally escaped the purgatory of senior year, and then it seemed that everything was going to be okay, everything was going to be, but in the end I found out that it was not. Everyone will leave after this July, and I even start to miss all the things in the past year, including our two very failed first mock exams, a lot of noon and evening self-study, and the watermelon we drank at the school gate Bing, and all the words we have said, including happiness and sadness, quarrel and anger.

I have been thinking about how our friends will live in the future. At least you went to Shanghai, where we wanted to go, but I had to spend my college life in Chongqing, which I didn't like at all. I can no longer hang out with you and Xiaobei after class, I can’t pull you to accompany me when I miss you, I can’t lean out of the balcony when I’m sad, and you can’t call you downstairs ran downstairs.

Things are different. It makes me sad every time I see this word. After all, there is so much happiness together, so warm. I've been with you for so long, but you still haven't taught me how to play badminton in the end. I always said that I should train your sketch well, and it never came true.

Everything came unexpectedly, and I was not even given a chance to choose and struggle. Xiao Si, as I have always said, you, you, all my friends should be happy.

5

When I wrote the first part of "Fantasy City", I was still in my third year of high school. But when I think back, everything becomes so blurry, the only thing that is clear is the hot weather and the bright sunshine. Wei Wei and I always walked through our school full of tall camphor trees with a smile on our face or exhausted, sometimes we talked in long paragraphs, sometimes we were so sad that we didn’t say anything.

We often take out our wallets to buy Coke in the canteen, and then walk to the playground from a side path.

The evenings flowed away in such a leisurely and sad way. In that summer, I began to know how perseverance is needed in life, because the third year of high school is really like purgatory.

At that time, I replaced the movie poster I put in the photo frame on the desk, and put in a piece of white printing paper with my favorite sentence written on it: Evennowthereisstillhopeleft. I always like this on many nights Look at the black writing on the white paper, and tell yourself, don't be afraid, don't be afraid.

Then the days just endured like this. At that time, I started writing "Fantasy City", because life was too monotonous and boring, Wei Wei said that this kind of life is like rewinding and replaying constantly. I don't know if one day those films will be interrupted in the continuous backward and forward movement, and then we will hear the click when life stops. I looked at Wei Wei, the vast sunset cast a deep mist on her face.

At that time, there was still evening self-study, and there were exams every night, and there was chaos. I began to get used to doing questions quickly with a pen in the dark under the bright white lights of the classroom, and I wrote down ABCD smoothly. But my heart is very empty. Sometimes I raise my head to look at the dim lights outside the window, and I feel so sad and melancholy that I forget to think. Time still ticked coldly and objectively.

Before the evening self-study, Wei Wei and I always eat together, buy a glass of watermelon ice at the stall in front of the school, wander into the school, sit by the lake to enjoy the breeze, and when they meet DRAM, they will play turtle cards together. Then when the class bell rang, I ran upstairs to take the exam. Wei Wei took the liberal arts comprehensive test, and I took the science comprehensive test. Wei Wei wrote essays and inscriptions until my hands gradually became sore, and I twisted my hands to use the left-handed rule and the right-handed rule from various unimaginable angles.

This is my life.

That summer lasted seemingly endlessly. I only remember the cicadas chirping loudly and the waves rushing towards me with the scorching heat of the sun through the thick shade of trees. But one evening, when I stood at the gate of the school for the last time, those chirps that once existed like air suddenly disappeared, and I stood in silence and heard the sound of time breaking.

That day was the day I went to school to get the university notice and I left school.

6

I want to walk like this, I want to walk alone like this, without worries or constraints, I will live happily alone.

But why am I suddenly silent amidst the laughter of a large group of people? Why is it sad to see a familiar figure from behind while riding a bicycle? Why can't I stop being sad when I read a book or a movie I have seen? Why am I still used to standing alone on the empty lawn looking up at the hazy sky?

Whose hand is the crystal ball in? I want to ask for clarification.

7

I am in Shanghai, watching the sunset on the 1,000,000-square-meter open space in Shanghai University. I got off the plane and saw the smiles of Qinghe and Kun. They sent me to the university. I laughed and talked happily along the way. I felt that I didn't go far away, and I didn't feel as sad as I imagined. However, when they left, my world suddenly became quiet, and I started eating alone, wandering alone, and looking for classrooms alone.

I knew that one day my day would come, but I never thought it would be so soon.

Gradually began to understand a passage written by a student author I liked before, she said: A person always has to walk a strange road, see a strange scenery, listen to a strange song, and then at a certain inadvertent moment, you You will find that things that you have tried so hard to forget are really forgotten just like that.

8

There is very little shade in Shangda, because it is a newly built campus, so there is no rich green. Also, in the winter there won't be clumps of trees dropping their leaves like crazy.

When I ride a bicycle across the white cement road with only small trees on both sides, I always think of my middle school. In that place, there is a thick shade of trees, and there is never a whole piece of sunshine. But the scene in front of me is like a gorgeous and extravagant dream. I travel through the past, just like the earth passing through the tail of a comet, it doesn't matter.

I finally started a life alone, running alone, typing in the middle of the night alone, standing on the roof alone looking at the empty and deep sky. I heard the sound of cracking and chipping when life turned bluntly, and my life was gradually damaged in the constant running-in.