I’m Really a Superstar Chapter 879: [laughing crazy! 】

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"Wow, not bad!"

"What's good?"

"Are Crosstalk for Zhang Ye?"

"You guys really look? Isn't it boring?"

"It just started, it's still the same taste! Smile a whole lot!"

"Really? Fuck, let me see!"

"Look at it, I almost got cheated by the gangsters! Who said it was not good-looking?"

"Still familiar with Zhang Ye, it depends on what they say!"

Some people in the Crosstalk world scoff.

An apprentice of Tang Dazhang commented: "The party Crosstalk, the jargon is difficult to be on that" fan ", it is to look at artistic and holistic, not to see whether one or two bags are trembling, even if you The whole process was a burden and a joke. On the whole, there is nothing to precipitate and reflect, and it is also called failure! "

An Crosstalk actor responded, "Yes, so the party Crosstalk is hard to say!"

Another apprentice of Xu Master, who was scolded by Zhang Ye at the time, said: "Zhang Ye is now selling his little cleverness. When it is time to test the art of Crosstalk, he won't do it. If you don't believe it, look down. The Crosstalk works spelled out by the burden will only become more and more scattered, without a theme of performance. "

Professionals are still very accurate. In the past, the theme of Zhang Ye Crosstalk was actually cursing, or using Crosstalk as the line, or refuting anti-three vulgar topics as the context. Although people in Crosstalk do not like to listen, to be honest, This kind of work is still established. At least it has a clear line and is a complete work. However, if it is a piece of work that is made up of East and West, it cannot be called Crosstalk, let alone a more demanding evening party Crosstalk. ?

...

Beijing Spring Festival live.

Crosstalk continues.

Yao Jiancai: "I'll get ten for ten thousand points? Then I'm too bad! Are you praising me?"

Zhang Ye: "I mean, this is not room for improvement."

Yao Jiancai: "Hurry up and rest. You will start to call me on this big New Year. Before the to go on stage, people can tell the story. Our Crosstalk is called" Everything Alright ", how can you say more and more far away?"

Zhang Ye take a look around, "Who is all right?"

Yao Jiancai: "Oh! Audience!"

Zhang Ye snorted, "That's your Everything Alright, I'm all bad!"

The audience is happy, Teacher Zhang What's up??

Yao Jiancai cares: "Oh, what's wrong with the New Year? This is it? Haven't you been all right?"

Zhang Ye made a mark, "You see you guys hold me today, actually I couldn't do it before."

Yao Jiancai: "Hey, isn't this when everyone can't."

Zhang Ye: "Before saying Crosstalk was Host, I didn't even have a stable job."

Yao Jiancai: "Really?"

Zhang Ye yelled: "I just graduated from college and went out to look for a job."

Yao Jiancai: "Everything is the same."

Zhang Ye: "I have had a dream since I was a kid, I want to be a football player."

Yao Jiancai looks at him, "Okay."

Zhang Ye: "I went to sign up at the time, but the coach of the team saw me like it. He said that I was more than 14 thousand times stronger than last year's world footballer Paang!" >

Yao Jiancai was surprised: "Well, that's a genius!"

Zhang Ye: "Then he said, there are only two things that hinder my development."

Yao Jiancai said strangely, "Which two?"

Zhang Ye: "Left and right legs."

The audience laughed when they heard this!

"Hahahaha!"

"Left and right legs?"

"Oh my go!"

"This stalk is so funny to your mother!"

"What do you think of Zhang Ye Hahahaha!"

Yao Jiancai vomits blood, "Hey, then you are not the one to do this!"

Zhang Ye angrily said: "I also hate it. It ’s okay to play football at first sight. I ’m going to apply for a private company. I submitted a resume and went to the interview. The examiner did n’t look at me straight and said, 'Give you a minute time lets me remember you '. "

Yao Jiancai laughed: "Yes, so many interviews say that."

Zhang Ye: "As soon as I thought I could, I walked over and gave him a big mouth when I was round! Then I turned and ran!"

Yao Jiancai was startled, "Well, I really remember you!"

Big mouth? ?

The audience is already leaning forward!

Zhang Ye: "As a result, I passed the interview. I just left the company on the front foot, and the phone on the hind foot came, and the person said," Please be sure to come to the company now. "

Yao Jiancai: "Hi."

Zhang Ye: "I thought for a long time and didn't dare to go!"

Yao Jiancai laughed: "You shouldn't go."

Audience: "Hahahahaha!"

Zhang Ye said angrily: "I hate, I went into the toilet on the side of the road, I washed my face, and said to the mirror, 'Zhang Ye, you have to be strong, so difficult to beat you, keep it up, stick to '!'

Yao Jiancai nodded, "Can't be discouraged."

Zhang Ye: "After pumping up one's own, my mood was slightly calmed a lot. When I came out of the toilet, I saw a man coming out of the toilet door on the opposite side.

Speaking of this, Zhang Ye turned back in horror.

Yao Jiancai suddenly, "Ah? You're half-Heavens/Days with the women's toilet?"

Some viewers laughed at tears!

"Hahahaha!"

"Oh !!!!"

"Oh, laugh!"

A few Host over there Beijing Spring Festival are also laughing out of luck!

Dong Shanshan covered her mouth and kept on playing!

Zhang Ye is busy: "I'll hurry!"

Yao Jiancai: "Yes, I have to run."

Zhang Ye: "A bunch of big Old lady guys came out of the toilet and chased me, and the first one shouted‘ Catch him, just him, blindly talk with the women ’s toilet, scared me to dare to come out ’!”

Yao Jiancai is happy: "You are bad enough."

Zhang Ye Hidden angrily said: "I do n’t think I can go on like this, I have to work, I have to make money, what do I want to do to make money? You have to spend money first."

Yao Jiancai shook his head: "Hey, a gift?"

Zhang Ye: "After spending a lot of money, I finally became a formal state-owned enterprise employee, and I work at Beijing."

Yao Jiancai: "Yes?"

Zhang Ye said happily: "Our job is good. We do n’t have to work every day. The section manager who gave me gifts often took us out for dinner. It was seven or eight people. Every time it was a big table. "

Yao Jiancai: "What dishes?"

Zhang Ye: "Yes, steamed lamb, steamed bear's paw, steamed deer, roasted duck, roasted chicken, roasted goose, pig, roasted pork, duck sauce, chicken, bacon, pineapple, small belly, sausage, assorted crispy plate, smoked chicken, white steamed chicken. Pig rice, duck, pheasant, quail, marinated, marinated goose, pheasant, rabbit, python, boiled silverfish, steamed, Hash, stewed duck, simmered duck, simmered duck, simmered waist, yellow heart, tuber, white, and yellow. Bean drum abalone pan-fried carp simmered soft-shelled carp caught fried carp caught fried prawn soft-fried tenderloin soft-fried chicken assorted set of sausages stew cold ravioli spicy oil rolls 熘 fresh mushrooms 熘 dried fish 熘 fish belly 熘 熘 vinegar 熘... "

This large section of the traditional "Report Name" has made all audiences stupid!

The Crosstalk actors who watched program in front of the TV are also look at each other in dismay.

Many people will say, especially "Report Name", this is a basic skill for their Crosstalk actors, many actor who can hold a fan can come to the previous paragraph, but they are shocked because of the kind of Zhang Ye said They really ca n’t say it, Zhang Ye ’s speech rate can be described in madness, and from breath to breath, he was doing Host at 《The Voice》 and saying advertisement at that amazing speed!

No one copied it!

This is the first time everyone has seen me!

Tang Dazhang was also sinking in his heart. I didn't expect that Zhang Ye subtly integrated the traditional Crosstalk mouthpiece into program, and matched the speed of speech that shocked the people in the country when he was at 《The Voice》!

Thunderous applause at the scene!

Papapa!

"OK!"

"Speak well!"

"Too great!"

"This Speed is **** to take off!"

The audience can hear the goose bumps too, because it's too fast! This Speed is three times or even four times as much as other Crosstalk actors said when speaking through!

This mouth is too scary!

The Zhang Ye on the stage is finished.

Yao Jiancai was startled: "Why do you need so many dishes? How much does it cost?"

Zhang Ye shakes his hand, "public money!"

Yao Jiancai suddenly, "Hi!"

Hearing here, many Crosstalk actors are stunned again. Is this ironic for public money?

Yao Jiancai: "Now the country is cracking down on this! Are they still committing crimes?"

Zhang Ye said: "Not only do we eat, our chief also often takes us on tour, Shanghai, Guilin, Suzhou, wherever I go."

Yao Jiancai: "You also burn money."

Zhang Ye looks at Old Yao, "but in the process of traveling, I found some uncivilized phenomena."

Yao Jiancai asks: "What phenomenon?"

Zhang Ye: "Some monuments and attractions plate, some people have written on it, what a visit here, what XX I love you, and some people engraved their names, what Yao Jiancai ..."

Yao Jiancai quickly stopped, "Without me! I won't do it!"

The audience laughed: "Hahahaha!"

Zhang Ye: "Just an example."

Yao Jiancai said: "There is such an uncivilized phenomenon!"

Zhang Ye: "I have a strong sense of justice. When I look at this, I will be pissed off. I am so angry that I can't do it. I have to talk about them! It's so outrageous!"

Yao Jiancai nodded its head, "Yes, I have to talk about them!"

Zhang Ye As he groaned, he took the fan on the table as a pen and wrote in the void, "This comrade, I want to criticize you! How can you scribble here? Do you have any quality? You still No public morality? How did your dad teach you? How did your mother teach you? How did you teach Grandpa? How did you teach you Grandma? How did your aunt Grandma teach you? Your aunt Grandma How did you teach you? "

Yao Jiancai is gone.

The audience laughed a long time ago!

"I won't do it!"

"Hahahahaha!"

"Ah, tears is out!"

Zhang Ye solution angrily said: "Anyway, I scolded him more than a thousand words on the wall! It's so irritating!"

Yao Jiancai stared, "More than a thousand words?"

Zhang Ye: "Then Yes, they are too uncivilized!"

Yao Jiancai angrily said: "People write a‘ this tour ’at most four words. You write more than a thousand words? You are less civilized than you!”

Zhang Ye roll one's eyes: "Why am I uncivilized? Our chief praised me after seeing it, and he said that you did a good job with Little Zhang. When you see this uncivilized behavior, you must resolutely criticize and correct me!"

Audience: "Hahahaha!"

Yao Jiancai fainted: "What kind of section chief do you have, something will happen sooner or later!"

Zhang Ye suddenly pouted and said, "I still let you talk, isn't this an accident within a few days."

Yao Jiancai: "What's going on?"

Zhang Ye: "Traveling abroad that day ... No, we called to study abroad, and we met the sea-pirate on the side of Ga-le-Be."

Yao Jiancai startled, "Oh!"

Zhang Ye: "The pirate pulled out the gun and got five million!"

Yao Jiancai: "What should I do?"

Zhang Ye: "It ’s still our chief who has gone through hundreds of battles. He directly went to the leader of the pirate and said,‘ Five million is fine, but you have to issue me a one billion invoice ’!”

Yao Jiancai: “Ah?”

Zhang Ye: "The pirates are crying, but you guys make money!"

Yao Jiancai: "Hi!"

Live already was overwhelmed by laughter!

"Hahaha!"

"Open a 100 million invoice? Whoops!"

"Hahahahaha!"

Hearing here, the already in Crosstalk world is silent.

The Crosstalk actors who have just been questioned on weibo have no movement at this time.

The audience is all excited about become excited!

Trusted gifts?

Ironic eating and drinking?

Satirizing uncivilized tourism?

Crazy reimbursement for public funds?

This is Crosstalk's most basic method of acupuncture. This is a very Advanced art performance technique!

Now many people know that Zhang Ye's current Crosstalk context was originally connected by his deduced work experience, using funny baggage to ridicule some unhealthy phenomena in today's society! Coupled with that amazing mouth that no one has imitated ...

Who the **** said that Zhang Ye wouldn't say the party Crosstalk?

Who the **** said Zhang Ye couldn't say traditional works? ?

Tuck you 姥-姥-的-蛋 啊! !!