Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 1036: Connect to Destiny
I said to Bajing that she would not go home immediately tonight, so she looked at me with questioning eyes, obviously not associating the deep meaning of this sentence to the ambiguous place. "I have felt something wrong recently, but I'm not sure. It's a very strange change, but I can't come up with any definite clues." I didn't hide the weird and mysterious recovering situation. To this world, it is also weird. Good, mystery, it's all inconceivable, things that exist only in fantasy, if you say it seriously, you will be treated as lunatics in all likelihood. If the person you talk to is Dr. Ruan Li, she will definitely be regarded as a sign of the illness, and you should take care of it. However, for Bajing, it should be no problem. Even if she is different from the one I used to know, I I feel that if anyone in this world can be psychologically prepared to a certain extent to face what is generally regarded as a mental illness, then it must be the Eight Views.
Bajing is a very strange girl, even if I put it here, it is the same evaluation. She has her own views on things, not to mention whether the world view is mature or not, but in the face of extraordinary stimuli, her ability to endure is stronger than that of ordinary adults. In the face of something that is different and crazy, it will not be rejected immediately because of inherent ideas, and object to it for no reason.
So, even when the weirdness and mystery are just hallucinations, I would probably not be treated as a lunatic when I say this. Perhaps, given her previous performance, I even feel a little bit that she might accept me as a lunatic for some reason. Her personality and perspective on things may make her more comfortable than me in a world full of weirdness and mystery.
Anyway, I told her the truth, although with some modifications. But the actual content is similar. I spoke out the illusions I had seen before, the illusions I had heard, and even the existence of Carmen, and that's why I needed a whisperer. I am the only one, it is very difficult to monitor the whole city. However, the whispers of the Eight Views have this ability. Perhaps the whisperers are still very weak at this time, but given the performance of the Eight Views and the whispers in the doomsday illusion, it is entirely possible to look forward to her and the whispers in this world.
Although from the perspective of a student, Bajing is a female high school student. It seems incredible that an organization like the Whisperer can be constructed, but it is impossible to deny this fact because of the incredible. The whispers of the Eight Views do have a way to become the eyes and ears scattered in the city under certain conditions.
"Illusion?" Bajing was really excited. Obviously she looked like a fragile, long, straight, black girl, but when it came to this kind of stimulus that was still indistinguishable, her eyes were immediately full of aggressiveness and probing. The change in her expression let me know that she was very curious and did not deny what I felt. Maybe, even if everything is just my illusion, she treats me like this. It is also very interesting. "Carmen, Doomsday Agent? It's interesting, Achuan, you really gave me a big surprise. Although it's still not sure—no! It's because it's still not sure, so it's interesting, isn't it?"
"Too much involved in it is very dangerous, Eight Views." Seeing her excitement, I can't help but feel a little worried, although the strange and mysterious appearance may have been impossible to stop, completely in the dark. Not knowing the changes in the world is a very dangerous situation, but Bajing is just an ordinary girl, let her take the initiative to get involved. Is it more dangerous? I'm not sure, but I still feel that Bajing is different from everyone else. It is better for her to be prepared than not. Besides, I am already one of the whispers.
If the world is still the same, I wouldn't do such superfluous things. However, the current progress of the situation changes often beyond my expectations. I can’t protect all people when I only know the inside story, nor can I win everyone’s trust, and the world can help me only with the girl in front of me.
"I need your help, Bajing." With apologies and requests, I said to Bajing cautiously: "Please help me, if it's just my illusion, it would be great. And, before that, One thing you must know is that I have always been regarded as a mental patient. You can ask my mother for more details. She is my mother, my doctor, and my guardian."
Bajing seemed to have some indigestion for the huge information that came out suddenly this evening, and her smile a little reduced, but that kind of interesting observation and inquiry still did not fade. She scrutinized me several times and said to me: "I really didn't expect that A Chuan was a mental patient who often confuses his fantasy with reality? Now I feel that those hallucinations are not my own, and the world is about to usher in. Doomsday? However, this is really interesting, even if it’s just your hallucinations. No, your hallucinations are not interesting. What's interesting is you who will have such hallucinations." She thought for a few seconds, and asked herself how much she said "um". The voice said to me: "Okay, let me help you. Whether it is those hallucinations or you who produced hallucinations, they are all targets of whisperers. I didn't expect that there would be such a person by my side. This kind of thing is like a plot in a novel. Because I made my first boyfriend, I immediately became the protagonist in the story? It’s so funny, it’s so funny."
"This is not a funny thing. Even if you are reading a novel, you should also know that all stories involving mental illness and mental hallucinations are full of extraordinary dangers and can be deadly!" I warned seriously road.
"I understand, Achuan. If your illusion will become real, then the danger will be even higher. Such a development will no longer be an ordinary murder case, but a religious and occult case. To solve the horror.” The Eight Views obviously did not waver. She has made full associations from the situation I have described. There are too many imaginary stories about these topics in human society. If they are not regarded as lies, they will be treated. Regarding things that happen in reality, they can naturally reach a certain degree of danger to them-but this is not a behavior that ordinary people can do. The difference between a normal person and a mental patient is to strictly distinguish between fantasy and fact. The boundary between the two will not even be shaken by the appearance of some unsolvable phenomena.
"The horror of the weird and mysterious. It may have a reason, but it is not a reason that ordinary people can understand. It is beyond common sense, but it is in imagination." I looked at her with a heavy heart. "What is conceivable but incomprehensible is extremely terrifying. Because we can understand its surface and cannot understand its inner part, so we often make wrong choices."
"Achuan." Bajing stared at me with a strange expression. She said: "A mental patient who believes in hallucinations but recognizes that they are producing hallucinations can even think about the real mental patient through hallucinations. It is really weird. Don't you think that your performance is full of contradictions? ?"
"No, I don't think." I'm talking about how I feel. I know the contradiction in my performance, but I really don't think that this is a strange thing. On the contrary, if you don't notice the contradiction in it, maybe you won't be yourself anymore. Human thinking and self-cognition are always complicated and full of contradictions. Isn't it?
"No, normal people don't have this kind of contradiction, because normal people don't think about this kind of thing." Bajing decisively denied it, saying: "Only perverts and mental patients can think about these things. "
"The philosopher also thinks." I said.
"However, the thinking of philosophers always tries to sort out a clue from the contradiction to sort out and explain the contradiction of the self." Bajing looked at me with a strange expression, "But, I think. Your thinking is Many times, it’s chaotic. Because of the chaos, it’s always full of contradictions. So. You always behave silently. A Chuan, do you still have schizophrenia?"
"...Yes." I didn't hide or excuse him. Gao Chuan did have schizophrenia symptoms, and it was not just Gao Chuan alone. Although I don't think that my silence is due to the reasons that Hakjing said, but from her perspective, I am probably such a person. Her judgment of me, although in my opinion, is not entirely correct, there is still a sharp point. Sure enough, the eight sceneries of this world are different from the eight sceneries we have seen in the past. The development of the relationship between us, the world's differences, and all the deviations made her look at me, who has not changed in nature, from another angle, which resulted in different interpretations of me.
In this world, Bajing's recognition of me as a mental patient is stronger and clearer than ever before.
Even so, I still don't think that Bajing will despise me like this. What's more, I think she will pounce on me with great energy.
Sure enough, she replied like this: "It's great, this is really a big development beyond ordinary people's reality. My boyfriend is a pervert and a severely mental patient." She said to herself like this, and it seemed that Realizing that I shouldn’t say such things in front of me, he replied, “Of course, if the mental patient’s hallucinations become real, and the horror story becomes a horror story, it’s too interesting. This world, and my past Knowing that is different, there is a turning point in my life that ordinary people can never imagine. This is the most wonderful life."
Hakjing muttered to herself quickly. Her voice gradually became extremely low and extremely fast. I couldn't hear it at all. I just thought it was a weird grunt that matched her expression in the moonlight and that beauty. The posture produces a huge sense of disobedience. When we walked side by side before, the natural and harmonious atmosphere that we had was like dripping ink, and the black part was quickly soaked in the clear part. All of a sudden, the hustle and bustle of the street was clearly unchanging, and it suddenly became strange. I just feel that it seems that some switch has been activated. It is in the feeling, full of warm and normal places, and is covered with a thick layer of cold tones.
I felt once again the suggestive and dangerous hallucinations. It has no shape and cannot be seen with the naked eye. However, in the shadows and corners, the gaps between people and people ooze out, with teeth and claws. The mixed voices of vocals, music, and cars suddenly became clear but monotonous, just like pulling out a mess of tones one by one and listing them in my ears.
Then, there was a force pushing me, these weird things disappeared without a trace in a moment, I just felt as if I was in a trance for a while, only to see Bajing's hand on my shoulder.
"Achuan! Are you okay?" Hakjing stared at my eyes with a penetrating gaze, "Are you sick again? Seeing hallucinations?"
"Ah..." I took a breath, and the world returned to its normal state again, "I think so, I see the illusion again. I hope it's just my illusion."
"Look at you. It doesn't seem to be a small problem." Hakjing said, "Under such circumstances, do you still want to wander on the street again? I don't want to get up tomorrow morning and find that my boyfriend has become a perverted murderer. Make the headlines in the newspaper."
"It's not that bad." I said, "At this level, I'm used to it."
Bajing didn't say anything to stop me like this, after thinking about it for a few seconds. Say to me in a very firm tone: "Where do you want to go? What do you do? I will accompany you."
I was a little surprised, but Bajing didn’t seem to be joking. She said: "You are alone, I am not at ease. Maybe you don’t think you are in danger, but. I think that you are dangerous now. Source."
"I won't do dangerous things. Probably, maybe, it's dangerous to come to my door." I said uncertainly. However, I don’t want Bajing to follow, because it’s not good if it’s really dangerous. "Also, if you go home too late, won’t your family worry about it?"
"What about you? You are a mentally ill person supervised by your mother." Bajing raised his mouth. Asked back: "You don't go home after school at night, does your family know?"
"It shouldn't be a big problem. I have the same record at home. When I was sick, it was not once or twice that I went home in the middle of the night." I replied with certainty. Of course, that was the record "before" I arrived in this world, and the relevant memory was "revived" only when I encountered the diary stored in the computer. I am a mental patient, so. Will do some weird behaviors-for Dr. Ruan Li, this is the best explanation.
"Really? Then I'll be fine." Bajing smiled deeply and said: "My family treats me completely herding sheep, even if I don't return all night, it's nothing."
"The problem with your family seems to be more serious than mine." If what Bajing said is the truth. Well, I can only think so. Although I am far away from normal people in many aspects, I definitely don't approve of the attitude of shepherding sheep completely in terms of family education. In this regard, it is still the same as most people's perception.
"I like it very much." Hakjing said, "So, there is no problem with you this evening. So, where do you plan to go? Are you just walking around like this? See when your hallucinations will appear ?"
I hesitated for a long while, seeing that it was impossible to refuse. Although the attitude shown by Bajing is not very tough, but if I throw her away and act on my own, she will follow it. Sneaking is even more dangerous. . So, I replied: "I'm going to see Sakuya over there."
"Sakiya?" Hakkei frowned and asked, "Who is that? The name is a bit familiar, and I seem to have heard it from somewhere." There is no disguise in her doubts, it seems that she really doesn't know Sakiya. ——In this world, the relationship between everyone I am familiar with seems to remain in a broken state. If there is no weirdness and mystery, I cannot be sure if there will be intersections in the future due to other reasons. Although, as far as I know, the potential relationship between Hakkei and Sakiya is destined to be at some point. Intersection. However, if it is said that the world's entry into the doomsday trajectory is also destined, then, because of the events of this night, the intersection between the eight sceneries and the night is full of a taste of "destiny".
The situation became full of instant sense. Me, Hakkei, and Sakiya were once again connected together because of weirdness and mystery.
"It's a girl from the next class." I answered the question of Bajing.
"Oh? How did you know her? Or, you are not only peeping at me, but also at her?" Bajing's tone was full of playfulness.
"No, if it is possible, I won't even enter your life with her. I don't think the current development is a good thing." For girls, it’s a bit hurtful, “I’m very scared, Bajing, I’m afraid that everything I see will involve you in it, even though this may be a destiny that cannot be violated.”
"You mean, those hallucinations? In your hallucinations, is there something about me and the girl named Sakiya?" Hachijing seemed to know a little bit. It seems that from just a few words of mine, she I think of many things, and it is very close to the truth.
"I have always hoped that you can live peacefully." Looking at the eight sceneries that are gradually being drawn into the whirlpool, I feel painful, whether this is due to fate or not. Or, I shouldn’t ask the whisperers for help at all, and choose to guard them in secret, maybe everything can be restored—there is a voice in my heart telling me that this is impossible. The current choice, although painful, But it is correct. Moreover, Bajing has the right to know these things.
"You seem to be in pain, Achuan." Bajing calmly faced my apologetic and painful eyes, and said to me: "You have done nothing wrong, don't be afraid. Tell me, your hallucinations, yours In the world, I am your girlfriend, and I have the right to know everything about you, even if all that is just a delusion of a mental patient."
I can't tell her, how can I tell? Will they tell them in reality in the hospital and in the doomsday illusion that everything is fine now? What an abnormal and powerless thing that should be.
"Can't you tell me... it doesn't matter." Hachijing smiled warmly, stepped forward and hugged me tightly: "As long as you remember, I will be by your side." Her voice was very soft. Unprecedented softness, like clear spring water, penetrated into my heart. The temperature and fragrance of her body gradually made me get rid of the pain of being lost in reality and illusion.
"Is it better? Agawa." Hachijing let go of me, staring at my eyes, and said, "Go find her, the girl named Sakiya, if she is the one you think you must find. "
I nodded, and didn't refuse her to follow, because I knew that I was actually very fragile. When the warmth was close at hand, I didn't want to push away. The Eight Views are by my side. This is a very important fact. Even with all kinds of concerns, I can no longer firmly refuse it.
I still remember where Sakiya’s home is, and what the family’s situation is like. Assuming these things are no different from the doomsday fantasy. I did not conceal these things from Hakkei. She also told me clearly: "I have never actually studied Sakiya's family situation. It is very incredible to know the existence of these facts only from a delusion and hallucination."
"Does Dr. Ruan Li know about this? What did she say?" Ba Jing asked.
"She thinks that I deliberately forgot what I did." I honestly replied: "If you change her here, you will probably feel that I used the power of the Student Union to secretly investigate the affairs of Sakiya. So I fell into the fantasy, and then forgot that I had investigated her behavior."
"It sounds like the same thing. What do you think? A Chuan." Hakjing asked intently.
"...I don’t know~IndoMTL.com~Although, there is such a record in my diary, as if I will deliberately record these things that will be forgotten before I forget...but , I still don't feel that way." I replied hesitantly.
"It turns out that Ah Chuan is a more sensual type? He is obviously a rational man on the surface." Bajing only used this understatement and stopped discussing this issue in depth. "That's right, I think All the descriptions of perversions I have ever described are mostly of the same type as Achuan, suppressing sensibility through reason, but crazy in sensibility."
"Doesn't it feel awkward to describe it so poetically?" I feel a little embarrassed about the description of Bajing.
Hakjing’s answer was a smiling face. I think she did it on purpose. Leaving aside these topics about my condition, Hakkei has gradually developed a further interest in Sakiya. In my opinion, this change has a feeling of "repeats the trajectory of destiny". She hopes that Sakiya will also join the whisper. However, before determining the changes around Sakiya, I think it’s better to be more cautious. The faster our intersection, the deeper it always makes me feel like "change is accelerating" in the dark. I don't like this feeling. (To be continued. If you like this work, you are welcome to come to the starting point () to vote recommended votes, monthly tickets, your support is my biggest motivation. Mobile users please go to read.)