Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 1162: Clue

Doctor Ruan Li checked me again after dinner. When we entered the study room, we found a mess in the room, as if someone had turned it over. Dr. Ruan Li looked at me, but I didn’t have any relevant memories. I said to her, “I didn’t do it”, thinking in my heart, maybe it was the ghost, maybe another thief, after all, the gate was broken by Fu Jiang. , I can’t close it at all—I’m surprised that Dr. Ruan Li was not surprised by the destruction of the door lock. This room is also a cage for "dangerous mental patients." It can't be easily opened with violence.

Another possibility is that I "sleepwalking". In that abnormal nightmare, my body was not always lying on the bed.

Doctor Ruan Li is not angry. As mentioned before, she has passed the stage of being angry for the "abnormal behavior of mental patients" a long time ago. Even if I said "I didn't do it," she would not think that I was arguing and lying. I think that in her judgment, there will probably be two situations: "I didn't really do it" and "I did it but I don't know it myself." Such things are too common in the case of the mentally ill. Investigating such things as "the mentally ill person is lying" is simply asking for hardship and has no meaning at all.

In short, I don't think I caused the mess in the study. However, Dr. Ruan Li soon discovered the medicine and syringe that had fallen on the ground. "You didn't take medicine?" She frowned slightly, as if she had already confirmed the current situation. I know what she is thinking, but I can't reverse her thinking.

"I don't remember." I hesitated. Originally, this answer should be very clear to me, but I don't know why, I only remember clearly Fu Jiang and the others. In the earlier situation, there was only a vague impression. I should have told Dr. Ruan Li about the damaged window, and then she was ordered to take medicine. After that, I went into the study and opened the secret safe as ordered by Dr. Ruan Li. Take out the medicine... and then? Sakuya and the others are here. Have I taken any medicine before then? It seems to be eaten. It seems that I haven't eaten it. I prefer the former, but I'm not sure, and moreover. Judging from the medicine that Dr. Ruan Li picked up at this time, I should have not taken it.

This feeling is like carelessly, forgetting for a while-for example, when shopping, suddenly wondering if the door was involved before I came out. I went to the toilet at night, and when I returned to the bed, I suddenly couldn't help thinking whether I flushed the toilet.

I seldom be absent-minded when I do things. I think this thing is really strange. There must be something wrong with his consciousness, so that he was in a trance. I'm not sure, whether this state is related to that ghost. Or it may be expanded, and it is related to the proliferation of "mysterious" in the world of repeaters. Dr. Ruan Li weighed the medicine and looked at me again. Her eyes were calm, but I felt that she seemed to have something to say. But I didn't say it, and I understood it subconsciously. What did she want to say, why didn't she say it. This feeling makes me a little uncomfortable.

The world in my eyes is different from the world in the eyes of Dr. Ruan Li. Both me and her are very clear about this. Moreover, each of us uses our own worldview to look at everything the other party does, and the answers we get are natural. It is inconsistent, even contradictory. It is precisely because of this that Dr. Ruan Li was hesitant to say something. In her heart, she may have always thought that I actually don't know what I did.

However, in fact, I am really not sure whether I did those things or not. As I tried to recall the memories of the time, I was a little dazed.

Doctor Ruan Li liquidated the medicines that had fallen before my eyes. After putting them back into the medicine box one by one, the quantity proved that I did not take the medicine.

"It's okay, A Chuan, you know, you are not a normal person." Dr. Ruan Li said, "The mental patient doesn't know what he did. This is not a rare thing. You should not be hit by this, I think You will not, because you are by my side, have learned the corresponding knowledge, and have seen those cases in the clinic, have you not? The course of treatment I designed for you will only stop after confirming that you are truly back to normal. In the past For a period of time, your condition is good, but it does not mean that you can continue to be normal, because some mental illness relapses are very hidden and frequent. I often emphasize this point."

"Yes, mother." I said. Dr. Ruan Li’s calm and gentle voice calmed down the faint emotions in my heart. I know that Dr. Ruan Li did nothing wrong. I think she misunderstood me, but this kind of misunderstanding is not wrong. My mood fluctuates. Just because I am not sure what I did, the situation in the study gave me no excuses-in fact, there are, but these excuses are not recognized by normal people, let alone Dr. Ruan Li. The psychiatrist accepts. Perhaps, I hope she can see some of what I see and accept everything I say, no matter whether she exists only in this repeater world, and why she exists in this world.

People who can understand me include Sakiya, Hakkei, Tomie, and Sagawa, but maybe deep in my heart, I feel that they alone are not enough. I feel that it is because they understand me that they prove it. They are not normal people either. The so-called "normal" and "abnormal" are relative concepts born based on the concept of "majority"-universal and recognized by most people, even if it is physically incorrect, it is still " normal. Just like the conclusion that "the earth is the center of the solar system and the sun revolves around the earth", it has now been physically proved to be wrong. People with this idea are abnormal. However, in the past, it has not been proven to be Before the mistake, it was still wrong, but because it was recognized by most people, it was a universal concept at the time, so it was normal.

To put it another way, if what I see, what I know, and the world observed from my perspective, can be recognized by most people, then my abnormality is because I recognize me Sakiya and the others, who proved to be abnormal, will become "normal" even though, normal does not mean correct.

Of course. This idea was quickly thrown away by me because. If normality is separated from correctness, its meaning will be halved, and it will even become ridiculous because it becomes meaningless. The correct and normal things are truly valuable.

Because of this, I quickly stopped worrying about Dr. Ruan Li’s attitude. The perspective of Dr. Ruan Li and me. Which one is correct will not be mentioned for the time being, but in the doomsday fantasy and hospital reality. Dr. Ruan Li is "normal". Isn't it natural for her to see and understand my "abnormal" from the perspective of "normal"?

Recognizing that he is a mentally ill person and being strictly regarded as a mentally ill person. The feelings produced are not exactly the same, and even do not share commonality, but this is just a perceptual issue. I know that Dr. Ruan Li must be aware of this, so what she said and did was to treat me. She repeatedly emphasized that I am a mental patient, which is actually trying to get me to constantly look at my mental illness from the perspective of a normal person. maybe. A person who knows that he is a mental patient and constantly tries to examine himself from a normal perspective is better than a mental patient who does not know that he is a mental patient. Easier to return to normal?

I don't know, but I think Dr. Ruan Li thinks so. The therapy that Dr. Ruan Li tailored for me is something I have never seen in other books or cases. I am the only clinical patient with this therapy. Although I don’t think that Dr. Ruan Li is completely correct, at least. I don't think she is completely wrong. I don't think. Her treatment can get me out of the doomsday, make the world out of the doomsday, and restore all patients who have been eroded by the "virus" to normal, but it should calm my spirit.

Regardless of whether everything I have encountered is real or illusory, there is no doubt that I am a mental patient.

And a stable spirit is always very important to an actual mental patient.

Doctor Ruan Li pressed the handle of the syringe, and a water line splashed from the tip of the needle. I stared at the water line, and I seemed to see something in a trance. I returned to a certain scene, full of instant sense of sight. It was attached to my nerves like a reptile and slowly squirmed. Later, I felt that it should be in the reality of the hospital. Dr. Ruan Li also did the same thing. Until the needle pierced into the vein, there was a slight pain, this time I woke up like a chill. However, at this time, the injection has ended. Dr. Ruan Li pressed a cotton swab on the needle hole and handed it to my hand for me to continue pressing.

"Within ten minutes, the effects of the medicine will come out and you will feel sleepy, although you have just taken a nap." Dr. Ruan Li packed up the medicine, recorded on the form, and said: "But I suggest you take a few more. Vitamin tablets.” As he said, he took out a bottle of solid tablets from the drawer and put it on the table, “You didn’t sleep last night and today, don’t answer, I know you didn’t sleep well, your mental state is like It is a nightmare. When a person is dreaming, the brain is not fully rested. However, the drug injected just now can help you enter deep sleep. This type of drug is a type of sleeping pill, but it is much more dangerous than sleeping pills, whether it is The ingredients of the medicinal materials are still dangerous, and it is impossible to pass the review, and the difficulty of production makes it unsuitable for mass production. Therefore, it is of little value to modern medicine. Its only advantage is that it can be used on specific people. , Will be better than the drugs on the market, and the risk will be reduced to an acceptable level-for example, Achuan, you don’t need to worry about waking up after you sleep."

"Just help sleep?" I asked. Even though Dr. Ruan Li said it was in the ten-minute range, I had already begun to feel the effect of the medicine, and the physique of the Mageweave Messenger could not resist it.

"Yes, it just helps sleep." Dr. Ruan Li said, "But you should know how important sleep is to the human spirit. People who sleep well and sleep soundly will sleep well. At the same time, adjust the brain. The function of the human body will spontaneously resist any malignant influence. Through the adjustment of the internal details of the body, the influence of the mental and spiritual level is promoted. It has been proved in many cases. You only need to be able to sleep. Get a good night's sleep and get a good night's sleep, and the treatment can get half the result. Most people who have been traumatized psychologically and mentally need only a good night's sleep." After that, she looked up and smiled at me. "It's a simple thing, isn't it? The difficulty is that patients usually can't do it by themselves, so they need the help of drugs. For different mental illnesses, the internal structure of the body is adjusted to alleviate the disease. Although it is also necessary to prescribe the right medicine. , But, among the drugs with various effects. Only drugs that help sleep are the most popular."

I can't hear what Dr. Ruan Li is talking about anymore. The air seems to become heavy. I suddenly remembered that I was in a nightmare with a low-grade fever and bleeding from seven holes, but the idea of ​​continuing from this. Also gradually dissipated in a trance. The next moment, I fell into the deep darkness. Can't do it by yourself.

There is no thinking, only feeling. However, even feeling is incomplete. I don't know how long it took. I sensed that I was floating in the dark, and after passing through many layers, a hard touch came from behind. I immediately woke up and found that I had come to the nightmare of Las Vegas, lying on a bench on the side of the street.

I'm dreaming again. Dr. Ruan Li's medicine seemed useless. No, there is still a feeling of falling into deep darkness in my body, it should be effective, it's just. In the face of "mystery", the effect of the drug has also become mild. Whether it's the trance of falling into darkness, or the clarity of being in the dead city of Las Vegas. It can't be said that it is a deep sleep that is completely dreamless, but there is no doubt that the feeling of falling in the dark is more relaxed than the feeling of coming to Las Vegas as soon as you dream.

It's not the first time to fall into the dark. It feels both scary and familiar, unexpectedly reassuring and full of contradictions.

As always, I am walking in the nightmare city of Las Vegas. The unusually silent environment used to inflate emotions, however. In the remnants of the feeling of falling into the darkness, this expansion has also disappeared, as if being smoothed and suppressed by the darkness, only the feeling of fear, familiarity, and peace of mind is above all emotions. The only thing I can do here is to look for more activities, whether human or inhuman, if only I exist in the dead silence, then everything will not start.

I don’t know where to look. There is no clear destination, so even if you can run, there is no need to run. The long streets pass one after another, and one crossroad is the next one. Although there are many trails, the big road is not complicated, but it feels like it has no end. The surrounding scenery is all the same tone. The atmosphere and scenery originally distinguished by the breath of life are all in the thick and cold gloomy tone, which makes people feel a kind of poverty, sleepiness and monotony. Here, any purpose, thought, and interaction are all in a static state before the emergence of something to deal with.

Then, I saw that thing. I can’t tell what it is. In short, it’s the first living thing I saw in this nightmare Las Vegas. It doesn’t feel like a physical thing—I know, It's weird to talk about material existence in a nightmare, but I don't have a better way to describe it-it's more like an invisible shadow. It is hidden by the trash can in the dark corner of the street. The chain judgment cannot observe its existence. Seeing it is like an accident. However, I know that this must not be accidental.

Shadow can’t completely conceal its sense of existence. It’s like, it was born out of the shadow and became something else. Although it looks like a shadow, it can already be distinguished directly by looking at it. If it weren't for this, it would be impossible for me to see it. It's weird, but it doesn't feel dangerous, just like a newborn animal, instinctive and simple. However, its form of existence makes me subjectively believe that it is not as harmless as I see it at this time. Perhaps, this is just the "protective color" formed to ensure survival when it was first born. When I walked up, it didn't seem to be able to perceive my existence. It was just in place, twisting like a quagmire.

I looked at its existence at a close distance. Although when I was far away, I felt that this invisible and intangible thing should be translucent, but I only noticed it when I got close. I couldn’t see through its body at all. thing. It is indeed intangible and qualityless, even "fog" is not even mentioned, and its weird shape makes people never want to touch it. Of course, if you are someone else, you will probably come into contact with it under the drive of curiosity. I took a dagger out of my pocket-I'm not sure if it exists, but when I thought about it, and when I did this, I really took it out. The appearance is exactly the same as the dagger I have used in the past-then , Without any hesitation and pity, inserted into this group of shadows.

It suddenly distorted and did not make a sound that can be heard by ears, but directly conveyed a screaming feeling in my mind. It is not a sound, but it has a greater impact than sound. I can feel When my emotions are swelling, I can't break through the residual feeling of darkness, but can only roll in the depths of my heart. If you haven't gone through the darkness before, you will probably be affected by this sudden and intensely inflated emotion at this time, and you will do something that you would not do in a normal state. If it is an ordinary person, it should be "crazy". The mystery expert, especially the conscious walker, should be able to tolerate and get rid of this influence. I'm not sure. Because I have a strong sensibility and I am a mental patient, and I cannot make an accurate assessment of the sensibility and rationality of other people. Therefore, unless there is a mysterious expert who does the same thing in front of me, otherwise , I still can’t be sure of my judgment.

However, this sudden emotional expansion also proves that this weird existence is not as harmless as it felt at the beginning. When an emotion is extraordinarily strong and strong enough to forcibly seize control of the body, then this emotion must be harmful. My feelings for "Jiang" and the intense fear caused by "Jiang" and "virus" are naturally the same. This kind of harm is reflected in the fact that you will always do things that are contrary to common sense, are not recognized by common sense, and are not seen by others. People live in an orderly society. If you do such things, you will definitely be affected by the laws of social operation. The counterattack, the strength of this counterattack can even kill people. The reason why I am still alive is simply because my specificity has offset the regular counterattack through some abnormal means.

Even so, I can't be called alive, I just haven't completely died. I still received hurt, and this hurt not only comes from the sex, but also from the spirit. I just endured these pains while holding on to my feelings for "Jiang", advancing like austerity. This is something most people can't do, so I also feel that when someone like me kills such a fragile weirdness with a dagger, he will definitely be hurt.

The emotional expansion is this kind of weird counterattack. This method does not seem to be as intense as direct harm to **, but in a dream, what about direct harm to **? The harm to the spirit and consciousness, causing people to behave like a lunatic, will definitely affect normal life.

From this point of view, these seemingly fragile and harmless weirdness, which seem to be born from the shadows, are really an extremely dangerous existence. Because, in this world, most people are just ordinary people, and under the trend of mystery spread, this nightmare Las Vegas will also usher in a large number of ordinary people. If this nightmare is a manifestation of the ability of the Las Vegas repeater ~IndoMTL.com~ is a part of the repeater trap, then the Nazis' intentions are very intriguing-this nightmare can be mass-produced "lunatics" .

Electronic demons, nightmares, emotionally inflated lunatics... These clues can't help but make me sketch an image: a large group of lunatics with electronic demons, of course, will have a huge impact on the current repeater world. It's like a link in the doomsday process, but these lunatics should be controlled by the Nazis and serve their ideas.

Yes, this is based on the assumption that the "electronic demon summoning program" and "nightmare" are both Nazi methods. In contact with the ongoing World War III, I can't help thinking, maybe, the change of the Las Vegas repeater, the essence of which is that the Nazis are preparing for "conscription"? I have a little understanding of the fighting power that the Nazis have put into the world war. No matter how you look at it, the Nazi troops that descended from the moon are surprisingly strong, but they still cannot win victory if they are alone. It is true that Britain and the United States seem to be under tremendous pressure, but it does not mean that these two countries can be destroyed by relying on those forces alone. Even these two countries cannot be destroyed. Naturally, there is no need to mention destroying the world.

To destroy the United Nations and various mysterious organizations by oneself, and then completely destroy the whole world, theoretically, the Nazis do not have enough military strength. Because of this, the Nazis will continue to expand their forces through some means. To be continued