Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 1194: My look

PS: The description of Father Edward in the previous chapters is wrong. It should be "sixty-six-six disguise", but not "nine-nine-nine disguise". I'm really sorry, but the trivial things these days have made me dizzy.

I flew quickly over the city. I hovered over a mountain bag in the outskirts. The Father Edward below had recovered from the disguised form of "Star Chaos". He should be waiting for me. This contest of mutual probing seems to be possible. The rest is drawn. I took out almost all the means. Father Edward also exposed two disguised abilities. As for who earns more, I never thought about it. Because, in the past, there were also many people who knew what I was capable of. Those who could kill me, even if they didn't know the specific mysterious circumstances, could kill me. And what can't kill me, no matter how many targeted arrangements the other party makes, it can't be done.

Ed@猪@猪@岛@小说华神父, is not the one that can kill me.

As soon as the shadow cloak was rolled, it returned to the crow shape of the magic quark and flew from my shoulders. I fell in front of Father Edward and relieved all my attacking stances. Father Edward looked over with a thoughtful look. Although I was thrown out of the city by quarks in both disguise, he didn't have the slightest annoyance on his face. His missionary clothes are still neat and tidy, as if they have just been cleaned, and the stickers are very hot. His appearance, age and temperament are more like a priest than Father Sisson. Father Sisson is too tall, his words and deeds are more oppressive, and he is more like an energetic leader, while Father Edward is more calm, like being washed by time and full of wisdom in life. . Even a real failure cannot destroy such a person. What's more, Father Edward is not a failure at all.

If figures like Father Edward continue to wander in this city. Will bring a lot of trouble to this city. Under his calm and wise appearance, there are hidden paranoia and madness that all believers of Doomsday Truth sect. Assuming Father Edward is determined to develop in this city, then I have nothing to stop him except to kill him with all my strength. The two of us fight with all our strength, let alone how long it will take to decide the outcome. Even if I win in the end, the impact caused by the battle between the two of us is not something a city can withstand. For this reason, I put the place of negotiation again in this place in the outer suburbs, not just to avoid the impact of "Star Chaos" blew up.

I can protect myself, I can protect the whisperer, and if we can’t stay somewhere, we can shift our position. However, what I want is not just such security. It has not been done in the past. I would like to try again for an idea that cannot be completed nowadays. I want to protect this city and the people in this city as much as possible. I don’t know how far I can do it. The struggles of various mysterious organizations in this world, the conflicting conspiracies and plans, burst out the mysterious spread of Mars, And the sacrifice that Doomsday Shinrikyo is best at. And the monsters watching everything in the deep darkness have the power to destroy this world. A city in a small area is so fragile that it is not as vulnerable as an egg. Among them, people and things that will harm this city, naturally include myself. My plan, even the most ideal result, will destroy all of this.

So. My thoughts and behaviors that I want to protect this city are nothing more than spectacles, a manifestation of hypocrisy and contradictions. I know it very well, but even so. I still want to do this. Even if you pay a certain price for this, in terms of attitude and action, you can make a certain compromise with any enemy that might destroy the city. Perhaps people who know the cause and effect will feel that this is simply a waste of energy, but I can get spiritual comfort from this contradictory and hypocritical thinking and practice, and I can feel that even though I can no longer become a hero, However, deep down, he never deviated from the hero's path.

Yes, I want to protect this city and the people who live here, not for any benefit. I have paid here, and I never thought of how much I would get back, and even I’ve done it a long time ago. Will not be psychologically prepared for a good report. I just, like a fool, insist on my innocence, even if all of this is simply unrealistic.

Looking at Father Edward in front of me, I would rather exchange his promise with the eyeballs of the "No Phase Demon". Maybe he thinks it's not enough, but I think I will convince him, because even if there is only one eyeball left, the remnants of the "No Phase Demon" are still important. It is possible that Father Edward re-bred a new phaseless demon, or, from this eyeball, he found clues to a series of seemingly coincidental events that involved the transformation of the “phaseless demon” into a corpse.

Such an eyeball, to me, is not something that can be handled at will. Precisely because I can think of various ways to deal with this eyeball, it is more valuable to Father Edward.

I spread my palms out and handed him my eyeballs.

"Why? You have proven that you have the ability to get it." Father Edward didn't take it away, just looked at me calmly and said.

"I care more about it than it." I said: "I want to protect this city. This is a promise."

"Promise?" Father Edward raised his gaze slightly. I think he might be looking at the city, "Whose promise."

"My own." I said: "I used to want to be a hero, but I failed."

"So, is this a kind of compensation?" Father Edward finally showed a hint of sarcasm, and this expression was not strange at all.

"No, this is just the folly of the harlequin." I laughed, and I was able to tell him what I felt, unexpectedly less painful and embarrassing. I have always known my shortcomings, but I have always played a strong role in front of people, and never confessed my shortcomings and stupidity to others. I suppressed the ugly and stupid side in the darkness of my heart and made it like a poisonous snake. Whenever I was immersed in my mood, I was bitten. I used to think that I would never reveal these things, I would only show my strength in front of others, and support a sky for my loved ones. However, now, I was even surprised by myself and did not persist in front of Edward.

"It's really a stupid idea. You know, you can't protect it forever. This city. The people here are just groups of bubbles. Even if you don't puncture it with your hands, it will disappear by itself." Father Edward Having said that, the mocking expression disappeared at the corner of his mouth, and then he sighed deeply. "Obviously you can see the truth of the last days, why do you have to ignore its existence? There must be something wrong. You should have become a person like us, walking on the road of seeking truth instead of being naive Stupid. But maybe only at this point, you are the same as the other Gao Chuan, you are all naive idiots."

"Yes, so we are all called Gaochuan." I heard Father Edward say that. I don’t know why, but I’m a little bit happy, "We are idiots, we always do some innocent and stupid behaviors, and our minds are full of contradictory ideas. However, if we never insist on a naive idea and behavior in our life In the end, isn’t this life meaningless? It’s easy to live with the dust. It’s easy to become mature, but that’s not what I want."

"So. What do you want?" Father Edward asked.

"I want to be a hero." I said this to an enemy for the first time, so firmly.

Then Father Edward was stunned, as if he had seen some prehistoric monster. I can't help but think, hasn't anyone ever said this to him? Even the innocent children. Never said it?

"Are you stupid?" Father Edward didn't seem to realize that he had just answered this question.

"Yes, I am a fool." I laughed happily, "A fool who wants to be a hero but cannot be a hero. Even so, he cannot give up being a hero."

Fr Edward asked again: "Are you serious? Do you really think so?"

"Why do you ask? I never doubted my thoughts, but kept it in my heart." I said with certainty, throwing my eyeballs at him, and he caught them in a flustered manner. I can't help but wonder, is the psychological shock caused by the remarks just now really such a big deal? Now, he doesn’t have the calmness of the black hand behind the scenes, “I know, you may not believe it, but I never need anyone to believe it. Let’s make a deal, you take away the eyeballs, and then, Las Vegas A girl named Marceau was brought over, and then she was not allowed to step into Asia again."

Fr Edward looked at the eyeballs in his hands, then looked at me, and after a long silence, he reduced his surprised expression and said categorically: "Only the mainland of the Central Duchy." He meant, only to admit, It is not involved in the central public inland, but the island belt including the Japan Special Economic Zone and the surrounding dependent countries are not within the scope of the transaction. Even so, I still agreed, because my bottom line is only this city, and small mysterious organizations like Whispers cannot really monitor all parts of the country. It can be exchanged for Father Edward's promise not to set foot in the Central Commonwealth. For me, it has exceeded the value of this eyeball.

"Yes." I said.

We don’t need a paper contract. This is the promise of a mystery expert, and I also want to believe in the promise of people like Father Edward.

"Is there anything special about the girl named Marceau?" Father Edward closed his eyes and asked this question, as if he didn't know anything about Marceau. I once judged that he planted the Mystery Seed for Marceau himself, but since there are problems like the female foreman and female teacher, then it is possible that Marceau was not handled by Father Edward. Therefore, I must rule out the possibility of Father Edward discovering Marceau in the future, and working on her.

In this transaction, the conditions for Marceau were set up in response to this possibility. Now that the transaction is established, I believe that Father Edward will not go back because he perceives the difference in Marceau.

"She was also implanted with the mysterious seed." I did not hide it. To find Marceau who was implanted with the mysterious seed, Father Edward was undoubtedly the best candidate. His relationship with the Mystic Seed and his own strength can ensure that Marceau can stay away from the Maelstrom in Las Vegas under the most secure circumstances.

"Hmm...? That's it." Father Edward nodded as if he wanted to understand something. I don't know what he wanted to understand, but he couldn't get rid of the situation of the Wuxiang Demon. He already knows the situation of the female foreman and female teacher from me, so another Marceau will not look too special for the girl.

"Bring Marceau here. This is the last time you approached this city." I emphasized again.

"Why must it be this city?" Father Edward asked, "The Wuxiang Devil will not appear here for no reason, and I don’t think you decided to stay here. There is nothing more than a naive idea. Reason."

"I don't know. I don't care." After a pause, I said to Father Edward: "Perhaps, because I am the natural protagonist here, and this city, from the moment of its birth, is doomed Is my territory."

"It's a stupid idea." Father Edward just muttered that, turned and walked away without any muddle. "You are a fool, Mr. Gao Chuan, but because of this, you are so powerful. In this world, there is nothing that can be protected forever. Everything will inevitably die. Sooner or later, the truth of the end will be presented in the most "　" way. In front of you. I believe you will make a choice. Because you actually understand it. You just can’t accept it. Don’t forget, no matter how hard you struggle, but when you go against the truth, you are doomed to fail. Try to protect what, What to save, this is the right of mankind. It is also the limit of mankind. With only this level, you are doomed to be unable to guard or save the truth of the end. Those things that you care about."

Yes, I know, but my plan is not to face the so-called doomsday truth by myself from the beginning. I am a human being and I understand the boundaries of human beings, so I cannot be a hero, but "Jiang" is different. Love can save everything, because love can cross the limit of the soul and reach the other side of existence, allowing a monster to defeat another monster. My hope is never in "people".

"...it will win the final victory, so I will win the final victory. This is a monster's war, and the winner takes everything." I said to myself.

Fr Edward's transaction and departure made me feel relaxed physically and mentally. It is too scary to let an enemy like a nuclear bomb stay in the city. To protect something fragile, you must first make sure that the power you touch it will not exceed the limit it can withstand. Although there have been some mysterious events in this city today, in general, the degree of mystery spread is much lower than the average in Europe and America, which also means that it is more vulnerable than eggs. To change this vulnerability, it is necessary to wait for the president of the Student Union, as well as those outsiders who have a close relationship with the Student Union, to return from Las Vegas. Today's Las Vegas must be staged in chaotic and wonderful scenes of mysterious events. The interweaving of human hearts and mystery will inevitably compose a grand elegy. Whether Las Vegas can survive is still a question. Correspondingly, once someone can return from that battlefield, it means that he has gained a strong strength, a strong mind and a delicate thinking. Dealing with such people can determine the future of this city for a certain period of time. And their return originally meant that this city would no longer be as fragile as it is now.

I called the quark, wrapped myself in a cloak of shadow, and jumped into the nearby shadow. The next moment, when I came out of the shadows again, I was already in my own bedroom. I got out of the bed and checked the door lock to make sure that no one had entered or left the room when I was away. The action last night, the nightmare, until the early morning fight with Father Edward, one by one was filled with time, which made people feel as if there was not a trace of free time. I didn't change my clothes, so I fell on the bed, but I didn't even think of falling asleep. I know that once I fall asleep, I will definitely enter a nightmare again, which is not a place to rest. Mysterious events followed one after another, just like when the river was stirred, the sediment at the bottom of the river was brought up and everything became muddy. Even a mysterious expert can't perfectly understand everything and handle all situations well.

The same is true for me. I am strong, but still have limits. The quark flew in from the window and jumped around on the window sill. All this is so familiar, the trance made me go back to yesterday. I stood up and left the bedroom. There was no one in the hall, Saya and Bajing went to school, and Dr. Ruan Li went to work. The feeling of emptiness was also filled with the taste of yesterday in a trance. I opened the refrigerator, and there was frozen raw beef in it as always. I thaw it, cut it into strips, and then took it to the bedroom to eat with quarks as before.

Obviously it is not carrion, but quark eats very happily. Just like the past, it is a strange bird. Looking at its cheerfulness, my mood seems to be cheerful. I pulled away the chair, turned on the computer, and started processing new information. This is my current job. I don’t need to go to school or make money, but I need to face all kinds of weird situations, including lethal battles and terrible nightmares. Even after the battle is over, I still need to combine my thoughts with the information I collected. Once sorted out, re-analyze. If I still have time, I need to research and maintain combat tools, exercise my body, and keep in touch with some people in the circle. And these jobs, until the arrival of final victory or final defeat, there will never be a holiday.

In the past, I liked adventures and adventurous stories more, but after experiencing a lot, although I can't say that I am disgusted, the deep pressure, fear and despair have never made me like it was at the beginning. happy. I cannot escape this mysterious world, I cannot pretend to be an ordinary person, ignoring this mysterious world, because it has become a responsibility to face it squarely. I have wanted to regain the joy of the past more than once, and only now can I feel that little.

The fourth-level magic pattern, the recovery of quarks, and the straightforward expression of my mind when facing Father Edward all made me feel that I may have changed a lot, but there are some things that I have always insisted on, even if I have doubted, once Helpless, even once refused to think, things are still there, unchanged.

In the age of climbing trees, swinging on horizontal bars, walking on narrow corridor guardrails, jumping off high stairs and floors, climbing over high walls, trying to fly over walls, these dangerous behaviors as children’s games, everyone is wanton Unrestrained, not afraid of bleeding and broken bones, nor feel that it is disgusting to trample on frogs and eat roasted locusts, just to get brave praise and admiration.

Of course, adults do not approve of such behavior. They only feel scared and sick. As they grow older, adults teach children what fear is.

I don’t repent, I still run on the eaves and the top of the wall, but when I’m the only one left, I won’t be able to do it in full view, because it is not only boring, but also a bit stupid, and others look surprised. I'm acting as an actor.

I became a top student, did not involve dangerous behaviors, did not participate in sports activities, and focused on academics. Moreover, the dream of becoming a dynamics expert was born, which requires a high degree of education.

However, it turns out that I am better at psychology than dynamics, and deep in my heart, I want to be a hero more than dynamics and psychologists.

What is a hero? I have had various understandings ~IndoMTL.com~ However, in the end it has no answer, but only a more perceptual assertion. That's what I want to be.

Now that the environment and experience have polished me, the way I want to be, the ideal self, is gradually becoming dusty in the depths of my heart. However, it has not disappeared, it has been standing there, waiting for me.

Now, I’m here to narrate my own story, and feel that in this world that is different from the past, in a different room, filled with similar flavors, feeling, the return of quarks, and it The joy of pecking fresh beef, feeling the mysterious mystery that permeates this city. And thinking about his inhuman lover. Then, all this seemed to converge into a breeze, blowing away the dust in my heart. Let me feel once again the joy and pain of myself. Those joys and pains are nothing compared to today’s joys and pains, but they are very important. They are so simple, innocent and clean. I deeply feel that they bring me closer than they are now. The way I want to be.

I’m here to narrate my own story, because I already know that I will never be what I want to be, so I have to wipe the dust so I can see it at any time. What to be like. (To be continued...)