Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 1252: Approach the tower

High tower. △￠four△￠five△￠中△￠文±, the most profound tower in my memory comes from the reality of the hospital. Strictly speaking, it is not a tower in the normal sense, and the tower shape left over from history The building is also completely different. The reason why it was built was not for some religious significance. In fact, I am not very clear about the significance of the tower in the hospital’s reality to the "hospital" itself. What I understand is only some negative functions, such as some taboo human experiments, but I know , That is by no means the only meaning of that tall tower. I used to think that Dorothy could not bear the research life of the hospital and hid in the tower, or the hospital detained him in the tower for research purposes. But the truth does not seem to be the case.

Today I have such a vague impression that Dorothy is not in that tower.

To be honest, I don't have any resentment towards the hospital. Although all patients with doomsday syndrome are treated as research objects, some of the results of the research are indeed used in the behavior of trying to treat patients. So far, the source of the various sufferings suffered by patients with doomsday syndrome lies not in the hospital's research, but in the illness itself. What the hospital did and could do was just observation and testing before my death. And the failure of those drugs was not the original intention of the hospital. No matter what ambitions, ideas, and methods are used to study patients, researchers such as Dr. Ander also hope to conquer this “virus”. If the "virus" cannot be conquered or restrained, it is impossible to talk about further applications.

The world does not need them to spread "viruses" to threaten certain people or certain organizations, because "viruses" already exist all over the world.

Perhaps it is precisely because of this understanding that "Gaochuan" resolutely became a test subject and cooperated with the research of the "hospital" to get results as soon as possible. At the same time, in exchange for the treatment of Sakiya, Hakkei and others in the hospital-not just for care, there are also such clauses in the contract. Once Sakiya, Hakkei and others become ill, the hospital must pay more for them due to limited resources. Focus on Sakiya, Hakkei and others.

In my opinion, the hospital has indeed kept its promise. If not. Sakuya, Hakkei and others have probably become a pool a long time ago like other patients. Even "Gaochuan" will collapse at the end of the experiment. I don't think that Sakuya, Bajing, Marceau, Seishi, and Dorothy are more specific than all patients.

Indeed, Sakuya, Bajing, and Marceau’s personality collapsed, and Shise and Dorothy were transformed into inhumans, all of which were painful experiences. However, compared with other patients, there are more possibilities. Without the hospital's commitment and input, they might end up no different from ordinary doomsday patients.

This is still a ray of hope. The glimmer of hope that is about to collapse, the glimmer of hope that has been distorted, is exactly what "Gaochuan" has paid for itself. If Dorothy is full of resentment for this kind of life, then I think that part of this resentment is something "Gaochuan" himself must carry, that is, I must carry it.

They are in pain. It may be better to die than life. Sakuya, Hakjing, and Marceau may not even be able to think about life and death, pain, and happiness.

But they are still alive. Even if not in the way of normal human beings, from another perspective, it is closer to the concept of "alive" than that of the sick people.

So, I don't hate the hospital, I'm just lamenting myself. The hospital’s powerlessness against the “virus” is not their fault. If after conquering the "virus", they can treat the doomsday syndrome and expand the disaster of the "virus" because of their selfish desires and make the patients suffer, then. Of course I am qualified to stand on the moral high ground to condemn them and sanction them. However, this is not the case now.

The hospital is helpless with the "virus", and can only find out what the "virus" is through continuous experiments, various methods, and unscrupulous experiments. This is only the first step to deal with the "virus", and this first step has already been set back. Until my death, there was not much progress.

Even when "Gaochuan" became an experimental subject, the drugs developed based on the clinical data of "Gaochuan" could not achieve the desired effect, but were full of side effects. Even so, these drugs are still an important factor that prevents Sakiya, Hakkei and others from completely falling apart. When "Gao Chuan" cooperated with the hospital's research as an experimental subject for the first time, it was the moment when Sakuya, Hakjing, Marceau, Shise and Dorothy were in the most critical condition. A drug was researched out within a period of time, and they were given priority injections. Maybe they would collapse at that time-it is impossible to be sure whether it will turn into a spontaneous combustion or die.

The miserable lives of the next five girls started with that helpless pharmaceutical.

With a good wish, and helplessness of time constraints, "Gao Chuan" allowed them to survive in an abnormal posture. It is precisely because they survived that their abnormalities were to a certain extent, highly valued by the hospital, and then evolved into the current situation in the following time.

These "pasts" are recorded in the volume of "Death Between the Acts" in my diary story. And when I reviewed this episode again, I only felt the fate of others, without the slightest bit of resentment.

As a "Gaochuan", who can I resent in such a story?

The foundation of the error did not exist in the first place. The "virus" was not created by humans, nor was it spread by humans. It just appeared and exists just like this.

If "Gaochuan" boycotts the hospital, if the hospital does not adopt a radical attitude, and refuses to abide by the agreement with "Gaochuan", even those drugs with strong side effects cannot be manufactured, and they are completely helpless against the "virus". Even more so, there will be no super-type color center, and even Sakiya and Hachijing are completely dead, and even the chance of appearing in the doomsday illusion does not exist.

This is not a free and correct choice, nor is it a distinction between happiness and pain.

The choice left to us is simply: living in pain or dying in pain, which one is more acceptable to ourselves.

"Gao Chuan" may never have thought that the choice would be like this, and even when he made a decision at that time, he did not think from this perspective at all.

"Takakawa" just watched Sakiya and Hakkei and they were about to die in pain from the illness. So determined to cooperate with the hospital. Before that, he had made an agreement with the dead "Mae" that he must save everyone. Therefore, for Gao Chuan, who was just a child at the time, there was no more and better. A more correct choice.

Then everyone survived painfully.

There are no options for happiness and peace. So, to die in pain or to live in pain, which one is more acceptable?

I still haven't given up hope, so I don't think "Gaochuan"'s original choice was wrong. Even if I live in pain, I hope I can live on myself and everyone. Only by living, it is possible to seize hope. Even if this hope is so beautiful, as long as you are alive, theoretically there are more possibilities.

Just for the "possibility", and choose to survive painfully. And let everyone survive painfully, regardless of their ideas. This is the crime of "Gaochuan". In this regard, as Gao Chuan, I am. Already understood thoroughly. Even so, I never regretted it. Do not resent, nor feel that this is wrong.

I think that as long as it is "Gaochuan", he will be willing to bear this "sin".

I stand in front of the tower in the nightmare. The huge sense of oppression violently spread out from the sense of sight brought by the shape of the tower. It almost suffocates me. When standing in the distance and looking at it, the tower is hazy, and its towering posture and huge sense of presence are just like coordinates, which are desirable. However, when it is actually close to this distance, it can be seen clearly. The memory that was buried almost because of death emerged from the mud as if washed away by the flood.

This tall tower, excluding its unusual smell and perception, its appearance is almost a replica of the tall tower in reality in the hospital. Maybe the inside is different, but it is difficult to find the difference on the outside. The moment I saw it, my skin couldn't help but develop goose bumps, and the electric current ran through the brain nerves along the spine. It stands before my eyes, and behind it is pale, a huge pale sphere about the horizon of the end, like a bridge that runs through two worlds.

"How is it possible?" I couldn't help groaning. There are all kinds of assumptions in my mind, and every one tries to combine the reality of the hospital with this nightmare world. At the same time, I feel that I shouldn't just jump to conclusions like this. The sense of sight in front of you, nothing or maybe it is just a projection on the level of consciousness.

According to the "real profile" theory, of course, the towers of this nightmare world may also be what I see before my eyes. Many reasons can be found rationally, but it is difficult to prevent the perceptual impact.

I shook my head vigorously, throwing the clumps of distracting thoughts into my mind. I know, no matter why this tower is like this, why it is so eye-catching, what meaning it has for this nightmare, and how it implies compared to the Las Vegas repeater world, and even the doomsday fantasy and the reality of the hospital. The meaning of **** cannot be found at this stage. Even in this life, I probably can't really understand its meaning.

Human beings have never figured out what kind of thing their own consciousness is.

The same is true for me, even if I have read a lot of psychology books and the classics on consciousness in the occult, I have never thoroughly, completely, in-depth every minute level to understand everything about consciousness.

I know that I can only treat it as a "fait fact" and "existing existence" and treat it with this attitude.

If I think seriously and try to reach an accurate conclusion, I will feel more ignorant of myself.

I stepped out, in a quick sweep, bypassing every weird blind spot on the route. These weird people in front of the tower are like guarding everything inside the tower. I don’t know whether it is conscious or unconscious. Their positions are divided into areas, and they will go back and forth in their own areas, and they will never invade other weird areas. However, if one of them is alarmed, it will cause multiple weird riots like a chain. .

I have not encountered such a situation rarely on the way here.

Although I won’t lose to a weird riot, I don’t want to waste too much time and energy on this kind of thing. Although my plan will always encounter various problems and have to adapt to changes, there is no fixed and visible time limit that can be seen at a glance, but it does not mean that my time is unlimited. When I act. Others are also acting. It is not a question of who is faster, but if I am not ready when the plans of all parties cause some kind of huge impact, I cannot use this influence to promote my own plan.

Now. I went to this high tower just to gather enough information to be able to intervene in all the changes that are happening and about to happen at the right and timely time. There is definitely not much time left for me to make these preparations. Besides, I don't know when I will get out of this nightmare.

The entry and exit mechanism of the nightmare itself is not clear, although roughly. I understand it as that all patients in the Peninsula Mental Hospital who have taken new drugs will be involved in this nightmare, and then become the sacrifices of the "deep night", but how the actual situation will change is not what I do. Can decide.

The production of the new medicine is completely led by the seminar, and is influenced by mysterious organizations such as Doomsday Shinrikyo and the 51st District. I do not think so. Their influence on Dr. Ruan Li can exceed their use of the seminar. In theory. If only taking medicine can enter this nightmare, then it is possible to exclude me from the nightmare. Of course, if the other party can use a similar method to isolate me from their plan, I also have my own way of coping.

But in either case. I don't have more time for any kind of response than these organizations that can be active in the nightmare all the time. Compared with these huge organizations, the preparation time, the energy, and the resources and energy that can be used are absolutely at a disadvantage. therefore. I never think that my passivity can be reversed in advance.

It is never easy to win in passivity.

I pierced a long knife into the weird vest, shielded its relatively huge body, and strangled its neck before it screamed. The weirdness of the human form often has the key to humanoids. In contrast, the weirdness of the non-human form is more difficult to deal with. There is no good feeling between the weird, they don't cooperate, and the previous riots against me are not meant to kill me together. Although they are gathered together, they are just fighting separately.

In the battle with these weirdness, I gradually can understand the reason why the weirdness is so powerful, but it can be hunted and killed by Old Hawk. More often, they are just a piece of loose sand, which seems to be diversified, but they follow a very obvious routine in battle. They are not brainless, but, in most cases, they are just muddled. For a certain weird, design a counterattack routine, and then expand this routine to other similar weird body, this approach is completely achievable.

Assuming that the weirdness is also the patient, or it is a manifestation of a disease, a certain effect of the new drug, and the influence of the patient's consciousness, then their performance naturally represents the patient's own "negative" and "malignant" The side. In this way, it is easy to think of the "powerful because of the fall" side, but the so-called "negative" and "malignant" are not the same as "powerful".

People, because of the health of the soul and the sex, will appear strong. The so-called "negative" and "malignant" are just the manifestation of the "unhealthy" of the mind and sex. The "powerful" that is apparent for a while is actually more like a "dying struggle"-because of the "unhealthy", it is about to enter Perish, that's why I did my best to give it all.

This kind of unhealthy power has flaws and limits. Compared with healthy and powerful, this unhealthy force seems to be full of explosive power, but it is actually more fragile.

This is also the reason why in the doomsday fantasy, facing so many mysterious powers and people with extraordinary powers, I never feel envy, joy, but sadness and pain.

The "mystery" I have seen and the power that exists because of "mystery" are nothing but proof of "unhealthy" in my understanding. Regardless of whether you are yourself or others, it seems powerful, but from the perspective of the hospital reality, it is just a group of patients with doomsday syndrome at the end of the disease. None, go crazy directly, hurt others, have to be put to death, or died in gangbang.

If you become stronger because of your own health, then of course it’s good. On the contrary, it’s just a helpless explosion of life in desperate situations. Then, is it not pathetic?

The ugly, weird, diverse but rigid, crazy and indifferent weird presented to me, to me, even the living "patients" are just living in pain.

To die in pain or to live in pain, which one should I choose?

"Takakawa" made the decision for Sakuya and Hakkei. As Gao Chuan, I have never hesitated in the face of the decision before me.

Because, I want to save them, but there is no way. Therefore, it doesn't matter whether the weirdness in front of you is "them" or "them". If they stop me, I will kill them.

Use chain judgment to analyze their position and orientation, and judge their possible abilities based on their appearance. All kinds of information are in my mind to outline a route.

Then, a quick sweep execution.

I try to use my weird body and surrounding environment as a cover to cover up my activities. I don't know which side built the tower, or that it was not built by which side, but formed naturally. But such an iconic building with a strong sense of existence cannot be ignored by any organization or individual that is active in a nightmare. There are many people who were active in the nightmare earlier than me. I don’t think I’m the first person to approach here and try to get something from it.

Conversely speaking, whether the tower is man-made or formed naturally, it is very likely to be occupied by a certain force and become the basis for the execution of a certain conspiracy plan, thus further enhancing the importance of this tower. Such a place is more likely to be very malicious and repellent to any intruder who tries to get close.

The probability that the tower will attack me is as high as 80%. If you expose yourself at the beginning, the possibility of being blocked is as high as 60%. I do not deny my own strength, but in this nightmare, my ability is blocked to a certain extent. Even if this blockade was well-intentioned from the perspective of Old Hawke, or, from the perspective of the organization that created this nightmare, it was a matter of course and necessary. I would not be unable to fully utilize the strength of the heyday.

This kind of seal is not general. It is a vague concept and does not completely contain one's own abilities. However, when you use these abilities, you will notice that the original handy and infinite power is no longer so. Handy and powerful. Even if there is no change in the characteristics, in actual use, a huge sense of disobedience will occur.

The sense of violation, inconsistency, and the feeling of being blocked, these feelings are not only the result of the "seal", but also make me feel that it is the power of the "seal."

Whether it is being sealed ~IndoMTL.com~ that creates a sense of violation, or "creating a sense of violation to reduce the effect of actual application" is the seal itself, which is difficult to distinguish.

I still feel my strength, but if I describe this strength as "inventory", then my situation at this time is roughly like losing the key to open this "inventory". Obviously exists, but cannot be accessed.

I think, although the seal was done by Old Hawk. But is it possible, not just for me, but for all the mysterious forces and mysterious experts who have entered this nightmare? In other people, although it was not triggered by the old Hawke, would they complete this seal in other wonderful ways?

From a certain perspective, if everyone’s highest strength is limited, of course, the more organized, and the larger the organization, the easier it will be to gain an advantage. The promotion of the sacrifice ritual only depends on the lower limit of power, so it is enough to meet the lower limit. Instead, the upper limit needs to be blocked to avoid the ritual being blocked by too strong power.

These ideas are all in my thinking. And this thought is also one of the reasons why I killed the weird without hesitation. After all, absorbing the graystone condensed after the weird death can weaken the seal-even if it is possible, this is actually indirectly promoting the sacrificial ritual and the arrival of the deepest night. (To be continued...)