Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 1255: Confirm

The next day, I woke up as usual. This night I did not enter the nightmare again. I slept deeply. When I woke up, nothing strange happened. ∷4∷5∷zhong∷wen↖, the female patient is lying on the other side of me, staring at me with her eyes open, she seems to have woken up a long time ago. I helped to organize her clothes, wash her up, and feed her breakfast. I don’t know her, and I don’t think she has anything special, and I have no obligation to help her do anything. She is an ordinary patient who has nothing to do with me. However, now that I do these things, my heart is very calm and peaceful. nature.

It's still raining outside the window. The cloudy day has lasted from yesterday to now, and it seems to last longer. It is even more rainy than yesterday. I don’t know if it’s going to happen under natural conditions, but when it’s placed around this peninsula, even though it looks like a natural phenomenon, it can’t help but feel a bit mysterious. As the crew said, this area will continue to rain, and there will be many strange things on the peninsula. These weird events are not merely man-made mysterious events.

For the residents of the surrounding towns and cities, the mental hospital and peninsula are normal, but at a certain moment, they will become weird and scary. Here is full of dark legends, some are fabricated, some are far-fetched, but many are true. For anyone who wants to live in a peninsula mental hospital during this rainy season, these weird and terrifying rumors will not be unaffected by the "unscientific". On the contrary, human consciousness is quite susceptible to the environmental atmosphere. In occultism, there are many examples of using to create a certain environment to deepen the interference of ideological forces.

I think if people here will have hallucinations and nightmares, then. Whether it is due to drugs or other effects, the content of these hallucinations and nightmares will surely resonate deeply with the gloomy atmosphere of this place. I hope I can find more information to understand the various rumors about this peninsula and the mental hospital in history.

I picked up my cell phone, and if it hadn't suddenly rang, I would have almost forgotten it. I feel incredible. But when I think about it, I don’t feel surprised. I often forget and ignore certain things subconsciously, but this does not mean that these things are not important. On the contrary, I feel that I am not such a forgetful person. If I forget and ignore these things, then it must mean, These things are actually very important. That's why for some reason, my sense of existence became weak in my consciousness.

Aren't all these proofs that there is some kind of power in the world, playing with everything in the world?

I don’t know if I have a certain religious belief. I feel that my attitude towards "mystery" actually does not have the basis for a firm belief in its existence, because I am acknowledging the existence of "mystery". Still try to explain it from other angles, under different circumstances. To use its different meanings-this means that I only recognize it for convenience, in order to give myself an unreasonable but acceptable answer.

What is "mystery", is it just superficial meaning, perhaps in my mind. It's not important at all. It is a tool. When you need it, you can interpret it as a certain meaning, but when you don’t need it, you will subjectively modify this meaning.

So far. What I absolutely believe in is the existence of "Jiang" and "virus".

After experiencing so many weird and weird events, and knowing the complex and ever-changing world, and now that the boundary between reality and illusion is so blurred, I can only think that everything I have observed is based on "Jiang "And "virus" exist. On the other hand, as long as I can relate what I have observed to "Jiang" and "Virus", then no matter whether it is real or illusory in the eyes of others, it is a real one to me. side.

My worldview, which has collapsed and subverted several times, has also been consolidated. When others read my notes, they might suspect that this is just a conjecture of a mental patient, or some kind of "brain in a tank" type of story. But for me personally, as long as there are "Jiang" and "virus", it is not just a conjecture, hallucination, nightmare or story.

No matter what other people say or look at, I can answer with extreme certainty that all of this "has happened" and is still developing. If anyone doubts, then I won't argue, because it's just It is because the doubters cannot observe it, so the illusion that it "does not exist" and is "just a fantasy" arises.

My mood is not as magnificent as it used to be. During the long period of recovery, along with the growth of intuition, memory and cognition, I have no longer had much to do with the world in which I exist, the world I can observe, and my life, emotions, and mission. Many doubts. I can calmly face up to the things that make people crazy, and do things that seem absurd or boring to others.

Before the patients left the canteen, I sent the female patient back to the room, and then entered the room that was locked up by the patients. Not all patients leave their rooms. I don’t know how often they leave their rooms. They are placed in a normal mental hospital, where doctors and nurses will take care of them, so that they don’t just eat or drink. , Trapped in his room. However, this Peninsula Psychiatric Hospital is not normal at all. I am not sure if someone will really come here to help them.

The information I got is that the seminar deliberately allowed seven patients to live in seven different environments, and then matched with other ordinary patients with no special status. Of course, all of them had taken the new medicine. This approach is almost like making routine patients the most special one in their residential area, which can be regarded as the "chief". They expect that in such an environment, some important situations can be observed, or some important data can be collected.

Actually, I personally don’t understand what they want, and whether it’s really meaningful and effective. But obviously, my influence on the seminar is not greater than the influence the seminar has on our patients.

But because I have become the most special one here on the surface, I feel that I have a certain responsibility for the patients here. This is a very vague sense of responsibility, and I don't hope that there will be patients who are let go. Without being able to take care of himself, he just died in vain. Specifically, I already have a hunch that it is impossible for all patients to survive, and the ongoing experiments at the seminar must have done a lot of harm to the patients. However, I hope that as many people as possible will survive in my ward.

Yes, I can’t save the world, but I at least hope that I can save the people I love... I can expand the scope a little bit. I hope that when I stand in a certain place, I can protect it. The people of this place.

So. Even if it is just a group of mental patients who are classified as experimental subjects, even if I know that there is not much I can do, I don't want to be completely indifferent for this reason. Just like treating that female patient, even just taking care of her daily routine can calm me down.

While helping her, I also feel that I am helping myself.

Starting from this female patient, I also hope. I can help more patients.

I searched their rooms and counted their number. Determine their daily activities and mental state. I don't know if there is a hidden camera to monitor the behavior of everyone in this ward, including me, but even with such surveillance, I realize that I don't really care. I can assume that the monitor will not really let the patient ignore it. Let it fend for itself, but I am also not sure that they will not do it. So, I start from the worst possible. Try to understand and integrate every patient in the ward, and try to keep them a good routine.

When Dr. Ruan Li called, I was sorting out the preliminary investigation data. I drew a diagram of the structure of the hospital, as well as a map of the interior of the mental hospital that I have explored, and the overall situation of the peninsula, and wrote all the key points of intelligence I know on a piece of paper. After that, in a certain order, nail one by one to the wall. These tools, such as pens, papers and thumbtacks, were collected in the rooms of other patients. At first I thought that the living environment of all patients in the ward is the same as mine, but in fact, the difference is still huge. There are even large household appliances such as televisions and washing machines in the rooms of some patients, which are also connected to electricity. However, after some searching, I finally confirmed that the consciousness of the patients here is extremely low, and their response is slow, as if the wisdom of modern people has disappeared from their **, what is left is just a kind of Mechanized and numb activity.

Sometimes, I even feel that their consciousness is not in their own body, and their physical activity is actually just a kind of instinct and inertia

It's like sleepwalking. Many people feel discouraged when facing such patients and feel that what they have done is meaningless. Because no matter what you do, you won't get any kind feedback from the other party, and even maliciousness doesn't exist.

However, for me, how they react does not hinder what I want to do. I know very well that what I have done is not only for them, but also for myself. Therefore, if they feel that this is a good deed and appreciate it, it is naturally best, and even if they do not have any consciousness, they just passively accept it. , I will not have any disgust or disgust.

I don't expect to get rewards from them. Because, when I do things according to my own mind, I have already got peace.

The female patient sat on the bed like this, not knowing what she was thinking, and stared at the ceiling blankly. I checked the information on the wall, analyzed it in my mind, and answered the phone.

"Really? Had such a nightmare." Doctor Ruan Li fell into a moment of silence after hearing my description of the nightmare. She seemed to be thinking about why the nightmare is like this. For me, this nightmare is full of doubts, and I don't believe that Dr. Ruan Li can really use her knowledge to explain everything I doubt.

"Is this a success or a failure?" I asked. Because the new drug was actually developed in response to the white Claudia’s impact on human consciousness, Dr. Ruan Li and others hope that they can be mentally self-regulated and assisted in adjustment by actively falling into hallucinations. The seminar belongs to the psychological aspect, and they will only look at the doomsday process that is taking place through the human consciousness. In fact, this starting point is already very similar to the "Human Completion Plan" led by Dr. Ander in the hospital reality-through a more direct, spiritual shaping and deepening, to affect the materialized **, in this process In, the transformation of the spirit is more active, while the change of the body. It is a more natural fit for spiritual changes. In the "Human Completion Project", a spiritual "perfect man" will appear first, and then this "perfect human" body will gradually fit with his spirit, and eventually become a true "perfect human."

What the seminar is doing is also starting from the spiritual aspect. By using drugs to influence the patient's spirit, he resists the influence of White Claudia on the human spirit, and even directs this influence to the "beneficial" side. The most obvious difference from the "Human Replenishment Project" is that the seminar focuses on the "psychological effects of drugs" and does not involve any experiments related to the patient's body.

There is no doubt that this kind of research direction, although to a large extent. It is not that the importance of the "body" is not recognized, but it is just that the limited resources must be focused on a certain aspect within a short period of time to achieve a staged result, but it is what Dr. Ruan Li hopes most There are conflicting research directions. She came here to participate in the research because of my specific patient's condition. In my observation, her research direction. In fact, I am more inclined to interfere with my mental state through the influence of drugs on **.

Although the method is to create a drug that makes people hallucinate, from the initial point of view, it is indeed through the influence of the spirit, but. It is not the same in degree. Probably because of the interference of a mysterious organization, the method of the seminar is a little bit biased to abandon the ** and study the spirit alone, which is in the signs that I can detect. There is a tendency to mystify, but this is indeed a practice that is not approved by Dr. Ruan Li.

If it is Dr. Ruan Li, he should try to understand the impact of the new drug on the patient's body, without prioritizing mental changes. Mental changes are only some kind of indicator and guiding changes. Although data on changes in mental state are being collected, these data are collected to confirm the changes in **.

In Dr. Ruan Li’s theory, the data changes of mental state are supplementary to the research of physical state data, and should not be regarded as the main body in the whole study. Just because I am doing psychology research, because the object is a mental patient, I regard the patient's psychology and spirit as the subject, and in fact have gone astray. She believes that basically, the morbidity of all mental patients can be attributed to the morbidity of **, as long as the treatment of the morbidity of ** can be completed, their psychology can be better cured. Of course, there are many examples that have proved that even people with normal health have very serious mental illness and psychological shadows. However, Dr. Ruan Li believes that the reason why she has achieved her current status in the academic world is precisely because she has always She specializes in and sticks to her own path, so she never doubts her own treatment methods and research theories because of these examples-she is like this, she uses her own examples to educate me and asks me to have my own views and persistence.

So, regarding my nightmare, Dr. Ruan Li’s view must be different from that of most people in the seminar. I don't know if any other patients taking new drugs have also told her about nightmares, but in theory, all seven patients will be asked to speak. On the other hand, Mitsuizukao and others who participated in this seminar also need to talk to the patients in order to obtain enough data to complete their papers and participate in the final assessment.

Therefore, I feel that all people who come into contact with the patients in the regular clinic will more or less learn about the nightmare situation. But I also feel that, like Dr. Ruan Li, there are not too many experts who can get a complete and detailed description from the patient.

I have always believed that my nightmare, in the eyes of Dr. Ruan Li, can be used to judge whether the effect of a new drug meets my expectations. It is a symbol that is only suggestive but does not have practical significance. Everything in the nightmare is "false", but it is a distorted expression of "true".

As for the question of whether the new drug is "success" or "failure", it is actually only Dr. Ruan Li alone. Perhaps, for the seminar, this nightmare is a joy to see, and it represents a certain stage of success. However, when talking about nightmares, Dr. Ruan Li’s performance made me feel that she thought the new drug was a failure and had a negative effect on the patient.

"Failed." Sure enough, Dr. Ruan Li said to me: "In my opinion, the effect of the new drug may make you dream, but it should not be such a dream. I compared blood samples and found this drug The negative impact on the human body has exceeded the predetermined standard. However, the seminar believes that this is a memorable development. Compared with the progress, although the negative impact has exceeded the standard, it is permissible." She was very cautious. Anxiously told me: "They lowered the standard again."

After a pause, she asked me: "What do you think will be the psychological performance of this approach at this time?"

"Lower limit?" I said hesitantly.

Doctor Ruan Li sneered and said: "They are confused...no, it should be said that they have been affected by the white Claudia. After all, they have been dealing with that thing for so long, not everyone They can hold on. Now, their hearts have begun to deteriorate, and they will gradually become less pure, without rational and bottom-line scientific research, which will only cause disasters and will not achieve positive results."

"Then what do you do?" I was a little worried.

"Don’t worry. Although I think their research has gone wrong, my research is still going on. Initially, they allowed me to use the equipment, resources and results here, so I collaborated with them. No matter what they No matter how I become, it will not affect my pace, progress and direction... In short, although you are a regular patient, Achuan is first of all attached to the individual experts, not the seminar. So, I have Quan does not let you use their new drugs." Dr. Ruan Li said: "From now on, the drugs I make will have marks. Do you know how to identify them?"

I nodded.

"Only take medicines with signs." Dr. Ruan Li instructed.

"In this way, will you not have nightmares?" I have to confirm again. To be honest, I don't want to completely escape the nightmare that is full of deep meaning and full of incompatibility. For ordinary patients, If you will not enter the nightmare again, it probably means that you are free from the influence of the deepest night and the terrible fate of being sacrificed. It is undoubtedly safer. But I am not just a patient, first of all, a mystery expert, and I must participate in that nightmare.

"I don't know, probably not." Dr. Ruan Li shook his head and replied: "The best effect, of course, is that you no longer have this nightmare, but my research uses part of the seminar results, which means Therefore, the effect of the medicine is the same on one hand, even if the negative effects are indeed reduced and reach above the predetermined standard value, it is impossible to completely eliminate the negative effects. Therefore, you may still have that nightmare. However, after taking mine Drugs should be able to make the same dream less horrible-the specific changes ~ IndoMTL.com ~ I don't know."

Actually, although it is a "nightmare", there is really no fear when I am in it.

"Mom, are there any patients who are currently taking the new medicine go crazy or die?" I thought of the weird beheading that I had killed, and contacted the hallucinations not long ago, so I couldn't help but ask.

"Crazy? What do you mean?" Dr. Ruan Li was a little surprised, but still told me with certainty: "I dare not say it in the future, but now, no patient who took the medicine has died. As for the usual hallucinations and Imagine—isn’t it normal?"

Indeed, it is normal for mental patients to go crazy, especially after taking new drugs that are sure to have side effects. However, the patients in my ward are also patients taking new drugs, but they are all lifeless and lacking in vitality.

"Accurately speaking, the probability and frequency of attacks of mental patients who were already manic did not increase significantly after taking the medicine." Showing signs of decline."

Doctor Ruan Li's answer made me doubt the source of the weirdness in the nightmare. (To be continued...)