Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 1581: On the moon

There are many questions that have not been answered. When others can understand the same things, I have been in a puzzle, as if I have been stuck in a horn. Looking around, my eyes are not the answer I wanted. . Regardless of whether I am as a bystander or as a subject, these incomprehensions stemming from the incident itself and the root cause behind the incident have not changed at all. Even so, for me, there are still more important things than getting answers.

So, I interrupted Dr. Ruan Li’s explanation of the situation. What "mental integration device", what "special circumstances cause me to observe this mental integration device from a different angle from other patients", etc., are not as good as "Doctor Ruan Li in this repeater world, what is it?" The question of how to treat all of this has a higher priority.

Whether Dr. Ruan Li is dead or alive is also not very important. I can still hear her voice. She is by my side when I need help the most. Then, it is only her that matters. My cognition of my own situation is not objective. What I want to know is subjective.

"Mom, are you happy?" I asked.

Doctor Ruan Li, who seemed to be about to explain the current situation to me, stopped when he heard such a question. How long was the interruption? There is no detailed count, but it is not very short-lived. I think she is sorting out her mood, she is thinking about my problem seriously, and maybe also thinking about why I said that. In short, when her voice sounded again, it was neither serious nor urgent. It gave me a kind of soothing and warmth that I hadn't seen for a long time. Just hearing the voice, I felt that she must be smiling at this time, from the heart of. A calm and calm smile.

"It shouldn't be said to be pleasure, Achuan." She said: "The world is destroyed, so what is there to be happy about? And. I am also dead."

I was just silent.

After a pause, she went on to say: "But. My idea is feasible. My actions have proved my theory. In the end, I proved myself in my own way. Maybe I didn't save the world. But as an individual, I have no regrets. Others may have lost or died. Those are all very tragic things. However, I did not betray them, but fortunately won in the end, so I must I don’t feel guilty at all. I don’t feel melancholy at all, because. The current results are not unexpected. In that case, it should be pleasurable. It’s not cheating, and I didn’t bring it. In a deliberately evil mood, instead of actively using the sacrifices of others to gain one's own victory, but just acting on the occasion and defeating an evil opponent with one's knowledge and cognition, how could it be unpleasant?"

"That's enough." In my heart, something heavy was put down, "I have always been afraid that you will regret it. You will at a certain moment, when you feel that you have done certain things before. Don't do that. Okay, I'm also afraid that you will resent. Complaining why you have encountered such bad things. Because I think this world shouldn't be like this, so I am full of unwillingness..."

"Ah, ordinary people have this kind of thought." Dr. Ruan Li said: "Regret, regret, guilt, complain, unwilling, feel that the birth is untimely, and be owed by many people. This is very common. After all, we didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just that something we didn’t understand came to this planet inexplicably, so everyone died. Pain, I want to make up for the wrong things I have done, and I have no chance. Although at the time I felt that it was right and right to do it, and it was impossible, but I still felt that if I could not do it. Alright."

"But, mom, you have no such thoughts at all?" I said.

"Well, because I tried my best to do what I can do, even my own death is used, what else can't let go of?" Dr. Ruan Li said, "I never think of myself He is Superman, although he thinks he will win, but before the victory, the theoretical chance of success is also very slim. Rather, what he has done now has exceeded his expectations. So ah, no, maybe even A little worried."

"Worried?" I was a little puzzled.

"Well, I'm worried about you, Achuan... No, Achuan, you have your own way of life and the way of observing the world. Maybe it's different from normal people, but you did live so long in your own way, so it's nothing. I’m so worried. I have thought in the past that you are different and will be rejected by many people. However, in this world, no one will criticize you because of your differences. Therefore, such worrying is meaningless. "Doctor Ruan Li paused and said: "I just can’t be with you anymore, so I’m a bit lonely."

"Mom..." I couldn't help but shed tears, and the faint emotions in my heart fluctuated. Although it was only faint, it could not be erased and could not be stopped. I didn't wipe away the tears, but the tears still flowed quietly.

"Do you just want to know this? Achuan, but I heard your inner call, and at the very end, I hurriedly said the last few words to you in this way. I think, Are you confused and don't understand what is going on right now? Do you want to know and what to do in the future? Do you want to listen to the advice of some elders?" Dr. Ruan Li said calmly and gently.

"Yes. It's just that, just knowing that you left with this mood is enough, mom..." I have a stomach for saying to her, but at this time, I don't know what to do How to say it, but what I said is definitely what I want to say the most. As long as she is not carrying that hatred, unwillingness and guilt, it is enough. This is definitely the truth. I want to confirm how she perceives all of this. I don’t want to know what the world looks like in her eyes. I just want to know how she perceives the world she is in and what she is facing in her heart. Right result.

"To be honest, I'm stupid, mom." I shed tears, but at the end I thought I could smile, so I should be smiling. "I don't understand the theoretical things you said at all. What you mean is that I am special. So I can observe, contact and end all this in a way that others cannot do. But in fact, Whether I am really special or not, what I want to do has never changed. The only difference is whether I can do it. I am not acting in accordance with the theories you have described, but only in accordance with my own feelings and Just act with intuition."

"So?" Dr. Ruan Li asked back.

"So, don't worry, mom." I can finally raise my hand and wipe away my tears. "Although I am very stupid, I always face a lot of confusion, a lot of problems that plague me, and always make my heart unable to calm down. I will probably spend my whole life in useless thinking, and I will continue to do so in the future. There are many contradictory things waiting for me, maybe I will die suddenly in an incomprehensible situation. But, it doesn’t matter, this is my life. I can accept it already."

Yes, my perspective on the world is different from that of many people. The things I see and the perception of these things are also different from most people, but we are indeed looking at the same things and facing the same situation. Just as in the eyes of Dr. Ruan Li and I, is the thing in front of us a "spiritual integration device" or something else, what kind of state is Youjiang, and at this time is it an illusion or a real thing. Probably all have different understandings. But the two of us are at the same time. See you again in this way and witness the situation together. Of course, it is impossible to be two completely different and completely unrelated situations.

The doomsday is the doomsday, and death is death. What does not exist will not exist. Since it already exists, then it must not be nonexistent. The existence or non-existence of this observed phenomenon is different. In essence, it is something "existing" and "non-existing", which is the most unreasonable. Things that must exist, being observed as "existence" and "non-existence" do not change the fact that this thing must exist.

I accept this idea. I don’t have the slightest doubt about the people and things that have existed in my life, and those who have disappeared. Maybe in my observations, they exist all of a sudden, all of a sudden. Disappeared, lived all of a sudden, died all of a sudden, all of a sudden it was such a face, all of a sudden it was another face. However, their essence exists, and their existence is intertwined with my existence, even if this interweaving is full of incomprehensibility and inconceivability, but the intertwined story itself, for the self in it, It's so full and fulfilling.

Whether in the eyes of other people, all of what I have observed is real or illusory, whether in theory, all of what I have observed is real or illusory, just for me, I All these observations constitute the part of my life, the part of meaning that runs through my life, and the most important thing that cannot be separated.

I think this is actually the truth that I am looking for. I’m always around and intertwined with myself. It’s something I don’t need to look for. It’s just that at some point, I even forget it, or I can’t accept it. . However, when you accept it, assume it, and believe that this is your life, then no matter how many problems there are in theory, it is no longer the most important problem.

"Really? Well, since you have said so, A Chuan..." Dr. Ruan Li said, "I am a dead person, so I can't say too much."

"As long as you are happy," she said to me.

It's good that you are happy in her mouth. It's not a mockery. She hurriedly tolerated and understood. To me, this is not derogatory.

"Mom, are you now just a dream, an illusion?" I asked.

"Perhaps, no, for you, it probably is." Dr. Ruan Li said, "But, as you think, it doesn’t really matter whether it’s an illusion or a dream. What’s important is "Her voice, at the very end, seemed to fade away.

The important thing is that you and I both want to see each other again.

Goodbye, Achuan.

I woke up from a trance, I felt like I had a dream, no, it was probably a dream, a farewell in a dream, it should have been this way to answer the current situation , However, instead of answering doubts, what I choose is something I think is more important. Therefore, I feel comfortable after completing this matter. This is really a rare dream.

With this faintly happy mood, I followed the instructions of my feelings and forcefully inserted my hand into this huge and weird thing that may be a mental integration device. From what I saw before my eyes, it was more like a hand. Inserting a tree trunk clearly looks like a hard thing, but the process of piercing is like reaching into a jelly. My left eye twitched violently, bleeding like tears. With this blood-covered vision, watching the changes around him, this vision suddenly turned upside down.

I don’t know what kind of internal changes my insertion has caused~IndoMTL.com~ I just think it will not be any bad change. The victory that Dr. Ruan Li meant in his dream was the chain reaction of what I was doing at this time. She opened her head and made a switch. Other people's struggles were just to install the switch, and I was the one who pulled the switch. What role did "Jiang" play in it? I thought jokingly, shouldn't it be a "circuit" that connects everything in series.

However, I am also very clear that there will be no answers to my own questions.

There was a sharp pain in the left eye, and the feeling of being upside down was so clear, but I did not "fall" from the ground into the air. The dark and deep sky, as if when it was turned upside down, opened an invisible curtain, exposing all the stars that had been hidden before. When the blue planet emerged from the end of the horizon, I realized that, in fact, where I was, it turned out to be the "moon", and this huge plant, without knowing what it was, was in the form of an invisible monster and a huge white The weird things that appeared after Claudia's fight were rooted in the moon.

I can't help but think of the dreamlike galactic railway train. If the passengers really exist, in the eyes of those passengers, do they have just passed the moon and are heading toward the edge of the solar system and toward the depths of the galaxy? Where to go? I suddenly smiled again, thinking how innocent and fairy tale my idea should be. (To be continued.) For mobile phone users, please visit the mobile phone website