Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 1832: Ander’s syndrome

This is a long passage. Ten meters from the entrance, the sound of closing the door came from behind Dr. Ender. The passage that had no light was plunged into deeper darkness. The sound of heaven? Dr. Ender only felt that his nerves had become weakened, and the sound of closing the door made his heartbeat explode. He turned his head subconsciously, and knew very well that he was definitely not such a joke. Looking back on the previous experience, although it can be called thrilling, it is not surprising that there are many encounters in many places. I will be psychologically prepared tomorrow, but I am still disturbed by the things I have noticed, whether it is sound. , There is still no sound, there is a specific outline, or it is vague, just like no matter how those things are presented, they are unavoidable to be frightened.

An unknown thought faintly emerged in Dr. Ender's heart. In his own research, what happened to him was too common, but in this hospital, he often pointed to an unfavorable situation. He prevented him from thinking in this direction because he realized that from before, as long as he started thinking, he would inevitably fall in a negative direction. However, if you want to stop thinking, it is more important than forcing yourself to think. Spend more effort.

Doctor Ender felt that his body was hot, but he didn't seem to be sweating. It was just a kind of hotness that seemed to overflow from the body, which directly evaporated the sweat glands. However, the current climate is honest in winter, and there are no warming equipment in the passage. If this kind of heat is not affected by psychological emotions, it seems a bit strange... No, I can't think about it anymore. He said to himself, returning his attention to the passage.

The light beam of the flashlight is like being filtered by the darkness, continuously spreading and dimming. The outline of the first 20 meters is faintly visible. There seems to be nothing surprising. Dr. Ander also rationally believes that this is just a normal channel. , But that horrible thing that seems to be unconstrained as if imagined, constantly changing shape in my mind, if there is any specific image, of course there is no, but it is because there is no specific image that it feels particularly scary.

All of this is my own imagination. It is the excessive delusion and emotional fear that suppressed the reason for a while, but I was still sensible, and I did not believe in these mysterious things. Dr. Ender kept saying this to himself, he felt that he was saying this to himself in his mind, but the next moment, he heard the muttering sound, which was very similar to his own voice, but he didn't think it was from his own mouth. Came out. He swiftly adjusted the direction of the flashlight and scanned it all around, but found no other sound.

"This is...my voice?" He couldn't help but uttered his own voice to contrast what he heard. However, his own voice didn't look like his own. He never thought that his voice was so creepy. It was not at a normal volume. It was a meaningful sentence, but the syllables seemed meaningless. On the contrary, it seemed like some kind of animal was chewing.

Doctor Ender was caught by his own voice instead. He shut up immediately. However, the muttering sound, the snoring sound, the chewing sound, the deep sound, did not stop. , On the contrary, it became more and more obvious to get into his brain. He shook his head, but couldn't get these voices out of his mind. He deliberately speeded up his pace and stopped paying attention to the details of the walls on both sides. However, he did not know why he was so focused that he had to see clearly even if he didn’t want to see those things clearly. Dr. Ande was not sure. What did I see? It was obviously a normal concrete wall, but the faint curved lines were particularly full of weird attraction.

This kind of attraction is like looking at a famous painting with abstract meaning. An ordinary person may not be able to tell what he sees from the painting, but he can be sure of what he has realized. It is exactly this feeling. People are particularly concerned about this kind of painting. To Dr. Ander, these cement lines are like releasing some invisible wave band, and his own consciousness, unfortunately, suddenly matches this wave band, and then it seems that I can comprehend something from it. It is by no means a good thing. It is like a magnet. It connects the cognitions that you have not thought about in the ordinary time, and the things that do not have any connection according to your usual worldview, outlook on life, and methodology. At this moment, they were accidentally connected together, and even I was surprised that "these cognitions have such a connection." However, to describe the connection, I think that at least one book of tens of millions of books should be written. There is such a feeling that "to describe with words can only explain the fur of this connection".

When these cognitions that are never connected together are connected through such accidental experiences, Dr. Ender felt an indescribable horror. The horror brought to him by his previous experience was nothing compared to the horror connected by what he saw and thought at this time.

For a moment, Dr. Ender wondered if he was crazy. However, if you analyze yourself with psychology, you can get a conclusion that you are still very rational. I can still recognize common sense without any damage to the logic. I seem to have suddenly awakened to a new logic and thus realized a truth in the world. It was like in the era when geocentric theory was prevalent. Suddenly there was such a person who realized that the earth is definitely not the center of the universe. Such a terrifying experience, and even made many scholars at that time crazy.

Doctor Ender analyzed his own fear, compared this fear, and got such a conclusion. However, even from his own point of view, this conclusion is full of absurd and ridiculous feelings: from the cement lines of a passage, he has found a new logic that penetrates the truth of the world that the world has not yet recognized?

However, no matter how ridiculous it was, he couldn't help but faintly throbbed in his heart, wanting to believe that this was the truth. If this is true, then oneself will leave a strong mark in human history, and it does not seem to be a big deal compared to being attacked by ignorant people. Because I am going to die.

"Ah, am I going to die?" Dr. Ender suddenly realized what he was thinking. He reorganized his thoughts and confirmed once again that he came here to look for life. Why did he suddenly confirm that he was going to die? From the point that I am going to die, come to an absurd conclusion. Isn't this the most ridiculous and irrational thought? Is your logic still working seriously? He couldn't help but doubt this.

A series of self-questions made him not pay attention to how long he had been walking. In this dark passage, nothing weird attacked, but the darkness seemed to devour his own heart. When Dr. Ender came back to his senses, he was already sweating profusely, and the strange and familiar feeling of hotness could not stop the cold fear that emerged in his heart. He patted his cheek vigorously and told himself loudly that he was not afraid of anything. He told himself that all his thoughts were delusions, nonsense and nonsense, and told himself not to think about it. However, his voice reverberated in the passage and became more and more weird in his ears.

Doctor Ender thinks he is going crazy. He feels that he is not crazy yet, but if this continues, he will be crazy. He never thought that those mad patients and Gao Chuan clones were not enemies to hurt him, and the lurkers hidden in the shadows did not attack him, but their own thoughts, their own thoughts, which humans thought. Howe's brain, as well as his most confident and tenacious heart, began to torture himself.

Doctor Ender was breathing heavily, his cheeks were already red and swollen. It seemed that only pain could divert his attention and interrupt his thoughts. He desperately needed a way to prevent himself from thinking about the "muddy lines." Revealed truth" things like that. When he came back to his senses again, he didn't know when he was scratched all over his body, as if he had been attacked by some monster. A pain came from the fingertips, he resisted, and directed the flashlight to his hand. Only the fingertips were **** and the fingernails were almost completely removed.

Doctor Ender couldn't hold back anymore, and let out a cry of fear and pain. A terrible fact shook what he admired most about himself: a person who never destroyed himself, even unknowingly harmed himself. What is happening to me? Dr. Ender thought of a worst result, but he couldn’t believe it, or he didn’t want to believe it. He could find a hundred reasons to convince himself, but every reason became in front of his **** fingers. Fragile.

Am I infected? Am I a patient with doomsday syndrome? This thought finally emerged from the chaos, clearly in Dr. Ender's mind. Then he shouted: It must be wrong! It must be a misunderstanding! My sanity is still very clear, my logic is still very clear, my knowledge is still working, and I can still work as before!

However, this terrible conclusion is like an lingering ghost, entwining him, gnawing him, and he seems to hear an evil and muddy laughter from an infinitely distant place. It's like God, no, it's a demon, laughing at himself.

Doctor Ender was a little lost. He never thought that he would become so fragile. He still wanted to be strong and take the worst, the most hypocritical, and the most unacceptable part from his soul. Get rid of it. Dr. Ender is holding on to the wall, feeling the cold touch from the cement. He feels that he shouldn’t look like this. Even if there is such a delusion, there is such a sense of horror conveyed in the illusion that erodes himself, but he also Shouldn't fall down so easily: But, the fact is, he feels that his legs and feet have become weak, and the body's hotness is still rising.

I have a cold, yes, it must be a cold. Because of illness, it leads to mental fragility. This kind of physical and psychological connection is one of my strengths. Dr. Ender used this reason to convince himself that he really felt that he was better, that he was an expert in this field, and he even led the "Human Completion Project" with his professional knowledge. The current physical to psychological weakness is nothing more than a verification of my own correctness, and the theories in this area are no longer advanced theories.

Thinking about this, Dr. Ender could no longer support his legs and feet. He leaned on the concrete wall and slowly slipped into the passage, sitting limply. Just take a break, take a break. He said to himself, but the more he couldn't hear what he was talking about. During the time he could think, a thought that ignored his refusal became clearer and clearer: even if it is doomsday syndrome, a "virus" is at work, it will not lose his life soon. The treatment of the condition is gradual and takes time, as long as the serum is produced within this time.

However, the great horror that followed reminded him: Can it really be so smooth to produce serum?

Doctor Ender held his head tightly and couldn't help but growl. At this time, pain and weakness couldn't stop the voice that emerged in his mind. He just wants to think, just can't help thinking, just can't get around the tragic ending that he thinks is the most tragic ending, just like a tragic ending specially tailored for him, the ending that makes him the most painful is waiting in front of him. NS. There is such an indescribable thing, which is nothing in itself. I look at myself in the void of nothing, and write down my destiny. Compared with its existence, my own struggle is simply insignificant.

Dr. Ander is still certain until this time ~IndoMTL.com~ that he is definitely not a fatalist, nor a believer, nor has he ever despised the insignificance of human beings from a height, and he has never been weakened by his own. I have defeated it, and I have countless theories to prove that this indescribable nothingness is a paradox, does not exist, and is truly meaningless. But the more so, the more painful he was. He couldn't understand at all, what was born in his heart and what kind of power was there to torment him.

He can deny everything that makes him feel painful, but the pain itself, this kind of inner, scary emotion, cannot be denied.

Then, he suddenly understood: "Man" as a simple individual does not exist. What constitutes the "person" is the ongoing joint collaboration between countless independent and subtle things. The so-called "human" is not a kind of material life, but the appearance produced by this diversified collaboration, which is essentially a chain reaction between movement and movement. Physiologically, a "person" is a surface profile composed of weird structures, which are mechanical transmissions and chemical reactions that bite tightly like gears. Therefore, human cognition is definitely not an independent and self-contained thing, but a block divided by a huge whole existence in a certain way. This block does not simply belong to the block itself, but essentially belongs to the block itself. That huge whole. The limitation of human cognition is precisely because it is just a "block", no matter how large it becomes, it is still just the difference between a huge "block" and a small "block". (To be continued.) 8