Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 2041: The horror of watching

When the door rang, Fu Jiang and I were still lying on the bed. I can't sleep, and there are too many thoughts in my mind. Although I don't even know what I'm thinking, the chaotic and messy thinking activities are still turning over and over in my brain. Fu Jiang’s breath patted my neck gently, she hugged me tightly, as if she was trying to stuff my body into her body, it looked like she was asleep, but I actually couldn’t tell whether she was genuine or not. Sleep. Her smooth and dense skin rubbed against me, and the heat from her body was transferred to my body. It can’t be described in terms of scorching or sultry, but it seemed to penetrate deep into the internal organs, making me feel inside and out. It's like soaking in a hot spring-this is full of vitality, the joy left behind after the passion is like a hotbed of thoughts, but in my thoughts that are so confused that I don't understand what they are. , These warm and energetic pleasures only occupy less than one-tenth of the content.

The door rang three times in a row. Even without chain judgment, I knew who came. I spent three hours in this place, day and night, the scale of time is so clear in the instinct of the body. After I got to the Torchlight, I didn’t meet with the principal at the first time. Instead, I met a lot of "old friends" who gave me many excuses, claiming that the preparations for the Torchlight ceremony were in a critical period. , Unable to receive visitors, these excuses are not very clever, however, the other party does not seem to intend to cover up too much. Torchlight has an ambiguous attitude towards my coming. Although it’s not repulsive, it’s not always rejoicing. It’s because they didn’t cover up this attitude, so even if I just breathe the air, I can smell it very much. Obvious taste.

If I have a tougher attitude, the other party will react further. Whether it is good intentions or malicious, it may be that the elements of maliciousness are greater. If you really need to fight, I think I have a greater chance of winning, but I don’t think I need to fight such a battle, because I didn’t come here to defeat, kill or stop these people’s actions. I don’t even know what the torchlight hides, or what the process of their deviation rituals are, and what are the taboos in them. I can’t even judge what kind of thinking these people are in, and continue to do so. A ceremony. There are many "old friends" here, but these "old friends" are only what I personally think. The other party was born in this doomsday illusion. It was even the first time they saw me. They regarded my arrival, of course. It is like looking at the sudden visit of a stranger, especially the "stranger" in the rumors does not stand in a good and decent position, but more like a single-handed terrorist.

I have a bad reputation in the mysterious circles of this world, and the actual record has hurt many people. This is something I can’t deny anyway. As Jung said, I was an executioner who almost killed all mankind. There are as many as billions of human beings who fell into a coma and even died because of my methods. Among the human beings who are still able to move, there is no ordinary human being. , The surviving mystery experts also hate me. Among those killed or injured by my actions, there are their relatives, friends and lovers.

Everyone thinks that my behavior is perverse, mentally disordered, and my thinking is more distorted than those mystery experts who are regarded as weird by ordinary people. I am an anti-humanist who has deviated from human morality in the true sense, from a human perspective. The existence of danger and evil is also the main culprit for the passive situation of the current war. Strictly speaking, these people who I regard as "old friends" do not think of me as friends. I have no real friends in this doomsday illusion.

These people who are indifferent, hostile and even hateful to me, even if they do not stand in an opposing position, and have absolutely no friendly tendencies, the mysterious experts will never have any kind thoughts about my arrival, nor will they feel happy. ——Even so, they still let me in. I don’t know what the reason is. However, it must be because of my arrival. There is still room for promotion of what they are doing. However, they are bound to Because of my past, the attitude towards me needs to be discussed.

I understand their feelings, understand their thoughts, and know the trauma and scruples that my actions have caused them. I will not deny the harm that I have caused to the people in this world, and I will not care how they think of me, nor will I have any feelings of inaction towards them because of their attitudes and their use. So, in general, I still accepted all this calmly.

I really want to say to them "everything will get better", or something like "all harm is just a long nightmare", but are these words really my defense? Do I need such an excuse? After these promises are spoken, can I really fulfill them? Can I be sure that "everything will get better"? Can I really be sure that "all harm is just a long nightmare"? In this doomsday illusion, will the people who were killed by my actions come back to life? If the "doomsday fantasy" is just a dream, will everyone really wake up in the "hospital reality"? And is the "hospital reality" really the real reality, the beautiful world?

I am just a collapsed doomsday patient, am I eligible to make promises to other doomsday patients? I tirelessly chase the "virus", trying to save every patient, but I have failed, what I can do...rather, even if it is just "to keep the people I love in peace", I can't do it. .

No matter from which angle I look at it, I still have done nothing. What qualifications do I have to say "everything will be okay"? The fact is that nothing has changed for the better, and it is still getting worse. Even if I am implementing the plan, I am not 100% sure that the "virus" can be defeated.

So, no matter what they said, what they did, and what attitude they used to face me, I could only remain silent. Even if my silence will only be exchanged for dissatisfaction with the other side.

What can I justify for myself? Can I be cheeky and say everything is for the other party, okay? Can I take their sacrifice and pain for granted as the cornerstone and food for the final victory? My heart can't get rid of these grief and guilt, but my actual behavior is really doing it.

I'm devouring them. This is the opinion of many of them, and I think the most correct side.

Even so, they still let me stay in this place, thinking, thinking, trying to use me. If they really do this, I am willing to give them enough time, although they don't actually have much time.

The door didn't knock again, and the people outside seemed to know that I was still awake, so they spread the word: "When do you want to wait? Mr. Gaochuan."

"Are you ready?" I asked back.

"...I should ask you for this." The outsider said, "Are you ready? Mr. Takakawa. However, even if you are not ready, you must pass." In the voice With indifference and hostility, it does not conceal the ill feeling towards me. And this person is Jung himself.

"..." I tried my best to put on a smile, and I can still laugh, but the taste in the smile is complicated, probably only I can understand, "Wait for me for a minute."

Speaking this way, Fu Jiang suddenly opened his eyes and sat up straight, as if he had never fallen asleep, putting on his underwear and coat one by one energetically. Before I had time to put on my jacket, I opened the door and greeted Jung, who was standing in the shadow outside the door, and the whole person seemed to be gloomy: "Don't be so yin and yang, no matter what, We are all guests... Or do you plan to treat us kindly?"

I can only see Fu Jiang’s back, not her expression, but no matter how she listens to her words, she feels awkward regardless of the measures, timing, or meaning. It’s not that she shouldn’t talk like that. Rather, it is not like "a human being's normal speech" at all. Obviously, the meaning can be conveyed, and the content can be understood, but it suddenly makes people feel horrified.

Even I feel terrified. Jung, who is blocked by Fu Jiang’s body and showing only half of the outline, is obviously shaken. Even if the details of his movements are hidden by the darkness, I can feel that he is looking at Fu Jiang. , And in this kind of confrontation, full of restless emotions. Jung's expression has always been plain, as if wearing an iron mask, and it is difficult to show his inner heart. He is also a tried-and-tested mysterious expert. He has strong control over his own emotions and professional adjustment methods. Even so, he is now The emotional expression is so strong, and it is not anger or other negative emotions, but just a sense of fear.

Very pure fear, from the subtle tremor that could not be confirmed, faintly flowed in the air.

I don't know what Jung saw when he faced Fu Jiang, but it was obvious that he couldn't even speak in the first place.

In a silent and depressed atmosphere, I fastened the buttons of my jacket one by one, and walked towards the two of them. When I passed by Fu Jiang’s side, I saw Jung’s expression: I can’t describe what kind of expression it was. It seemed that all the facial cells had been necrotic, and the expressionless face was filled with intense intensity. Emotional eyes stroke a strong contrast, so that the rigid face shows an indescribable expression. Before seeing this face, I didn't even think that the expressions on human faces could be so rich.

When the abundance is reached, I almost feel that Jung is about to collapse.

"Jung?" I called him.

He took a deep breath, his pupils squeezed into a ball, as if he had recovered from each other's gaze, and fine sweat appeared on his forehead. He looked like he had a nightmare and went to a faraway place. And I don't know what he saw, what he was thinking, what made him look like this.

"You, you..." His voice was dry, but he was obviously talking to Fu Jiang, but he couldn't make a sound.

"What happened? Jung?" I patted **** his shoulder, and he seemed to wake up suddenly again, and his bloodshot round eyes turned to me, as if he could see me clearly, this I realized that I was here.

Jung didn't speak, and stared at me silently for a long while, the stiff face filled with rich expressions gradually eased, and his pupils gradually returned to their usual appearance. His breathing has changed from rapid to steady, and he has obviously adjusted. He seems to be a frightened person. I think he must have seen something from Fu Jiang, something I can’t imagine-Fu Jiang looks like a human, but her nature is obviously not human, but even I can’t Something understood, so even though Jung’s fear came suddenly, it was not unexpected.

This is my love, my "Jiang~IndoMTL.com~ is the unbearable weight of life.

"Jung?" I called him by his name for the third time, not concealing my concern.

"No, it's okay." Jung squeezed the bridge of his nose hard, hesitated, then said: "I'm just a little lost...Mr. Takakawa, are you really married with this Ms. Tomi?"

"Yes." I said, "Why do you ask?"

"...just asking." Jung looked at me with indescribable eyes, "It's terrible, Mr. Gao Chuan."

"Marriage is not a terrible thing." I said.

"But marrying something is a terrible thing." Jung whispered to me, "Isn't Mr. Gao Chuan feeling the least?"

"I don’t understand what you’re talking about." In fact, I do understand. That kind of extremely strong fear that even the soul will be swallowed, I am the one who has experienced the most, because "Jiang" has always By my side, in my body, in my soul, it is already an inseparable part of my life.

"Don't lie!" Jung could hardly suppress his voice, "You are afraid! You are afraid! Mr. Gao Chuan!"

"..." I stared at him with his eyes that seemed to be overwhelmingly strong, and then I said to him: "There are fears in this world that must be carried, and there are things that must be done even if they are feared. I I didn’t lie, I just accepted it all."

"...stupid, you are so stupid, Mr. Gao Chuan." Jung's expression was crying and laughing. In my memory, he rarely expressed such obvious and opposite emotions, as if he had reacted to me. I felt incredible, "You are not a human, Gao Chuan, you who are standing here are not a human. I am wrong, I am really wrong. I should not connect you with that Mr. Gao Chuan, you are not the same, Essentially it’s a different thing."