Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 2170: Distorted babbling

Gao Chuan woke up in a dream. He gradually became sober and began to think. Some dim thoughts were like moon shadows in the water, rising to the sky and turning into a bright moon, which was also spreading hazy moonlight. In the half-dream and half-awake, those bits and pieces that are constantly floating in the mind bring up ripples, making him just feel that his soul is floating in the calm lake, and with the help of the wave of light that does not know whether it is an illusion, he sees a picture that has always been I have never thought about the picture. I saw a picture that I can understand but I can’t fully understand it. I feel that I am not an instantaneous individual, but a diffusive whole, which I cannot describe in words. Flow in the grand cycle.

He felt calm, but he had an urge to break away from this calm. He felt he was struggling, but he couldn't imagine what kind of struggle it was. He also felt that he was actually used to all this.

There are countless kinds of sounds played when he has self-awareness, and countless kinds of movements are produced in the process of him recognizing who he is. It seems that the fragments of oneself scattered in the endless sea are gathering together again with these extremely complicated movements.

He, in such a grotesque and calmness that can't be described in detail, he gradually realized who he was.

——I’m Gao Chuan.

A voice, which seems to be from a certain fragment of his thought, is telling him:

If the "virus" is only a natural mechanism, then the various sufferings that people are experiencing today are inevitable, and all the self-help of people is meaningless.

If the "virus" is such a kind of existence, then the idea of ​​solving the "virus" and saving people from the doomsday is simply impossible.

So, for the existence of "human", "virus" must be "malicious and subjectively responsible for the doomsday."

This voice suddenly appeared, and the proportion was continuously expanded in the thinking of the prosthetic Gao Chuan. He began to realize what he was thinking, but many of them were accompanied by his sobriety and gradually faded. Only one thought is clear and distinct, and its sense of existence is larger and heavier than other thoughts. If To use color to describe this idea, it must be gray-black, and to use words he knows to describe it, it must be despair.

His body Gao Chuan is waking up. He knows that he is waking up. The memory before he fell asleep is becoming clearer, more detailed, and more organized. However, when he starts to consciously and actively When thinking and sorting out these thoughts, only immense despair and darkness filled his heart, as if he was saying to him that he shouldn't wake up at all.

Being awake is painful, and thinking is also painful. The only way to get rest is the slumber of self-consciousness. As long as you still live with a strong will, "living" itself is a kind of shackles and the source of despair and pain. However, the idea of ​​"stubbornly resisting these despair and pain and also live" is itself a great despair—— It will never bring any peace to people, nor does it have any meaning. It is stubbornly attached to the form of the person itself, stubbornly attached to the thought of being a person, and imposes subjective meaning on objective things. This in itself is a manifestation of the limitations of the person himself. , And the brilliance that people claim to have in this limitation is nothing more than self-deception.

Human thinking, human soul, the distinction between materiality and immateriality, the sense of independence of human beings from their own spirituality, and the spiritual level relative to the material are all but an illusion. All the factors that make up "people" are unified and harmonious. There are no classifications and boundaries in the subjective cognition of human beings. They are just a trivial part of the grand and objective movement.

Humans are not creatures, nor philosophies, but purely an "objective movement", one of the details of a grand objective movement that is holistic. All the cognition of oneself is nothing but the embodiment of this kind of movement. Recognizing this and returning to the essential objectiveness, you will know what the "doomsday" is and what the "virus" is.

There has never been a "doomsday", only the process of transforming a certain movement into another.

There has never been a "virus", only the mechanism that inevitably appears in the process of sports transformation.

There has never been an enemy, there is only interference from one movement to another, and this interference itself is also just a movement change among thousands of movements.

Everything is a sport. In a grand and holistic sport, every sport has its inevitable meaning. If this is the case, then the movement that appears as a "doomsday" is meaningful, and it appears as a "virus". The movement of "" is also meaningful, and other movements that are observed and realized by people in these movements, whether they are recognized as "saving" or "struggle", or other meanings, these meanings are just limitations. The true meaning of sexual illusion is that it is itself a link in the promotion of "doomsday", showing "virus" and so on.

"No, stop...I can't think about it anymore, I can't think about it anymore..." Yi Tai Gaochuan only felt that a pale and fragile "self" was wailing, where it was too grand to describe in words, if Forcibly using language to describe, what you get is nothing more than the "Twisted Theory" thinking, the "Gaochuan" cognition generated by self-recognition of self is so small, so degenerate, and so full of limitations—— It is as if you don’t want to put a universe, but put yourself in a small paper box, and there is no external force forcing yourself to shrink in this small paper box, only your own narrow and ignorant ideas are limiting yourself. .

The tragic scenes that I have witnessed in the past, whether about myself or about others, are nothing but false illusions produced in this narrow and ignorant vision-in fact, there is no death, no end, no Viruses, the essence of everything, are nothing but purely a movement change, just changing from one form to another. The inability to accept such purely objective changes in movement, but confined to the individual's subjective self, is the culprit that makes oneself feel desperate and painful.

——No one hurt Gao Chuan, just Gao Chuan is hurting himself.

——Nothing is destroying others. The misery we see is nothing but the meaning given to the objective movement subjectively, but the others who are the subject of the objective movement are not actually destroyed.

……

——Perhaps, there is actually no Gaochuan, no Jiang, no viruses, no mysterious experts, no such so-called "humans" and "non-humans."

——The so-called "self" does not exist, and the behavior of self-recognition is wrong.

——"I" does not exist, you, me, and him, none of them exist, and the perception of dividing boundaries is wrong.

"A grand... grand... grand movement, constantly moving..." Gao Chuan screamed. He felt that he was about to be unable to bear it. A terrible cognition was obliterating himself, and the world that he knew as a life was deforming, becoming something that could not even be described as "cold and objective". He didn’t want to think like that. He struggled constantly and wanted to escape from the self-defeating cognition. He exhausted all the philosophical and dialectical thinking he knew, to mock the objectivity and emphasize the subjective consciousness. The meaning to objective things, however, is of no use at all.

The terrible cold objective thinking is like the most essential thing, in self-knowledge, it is unstoppable, but unstoppable. Then, he suddenly understood:

Only "stupid" can get out of it.

Only by not thinking can you escape that kind of fear, despair and madness.

"No, no, no! I don't think so, I don't think so... Let me think about it, let me think again..." The body Gao Chuan held his head in pain, when his hand touched When I reached my head, I suddenly realized that my consciousness had returned to the prosthetic body-no, it should be said, being imprisoned in the prosthetic body, this feeling of imprisonment is so strong, even if he is not willing to go subjectively. Think so.

When he re-recognizes what kind of state his own body is, all the feelings are disordered, which makes people feel painful and depressed, just like being forced into a stretched world. Into a small box the size of a thumb. However, there is another idea, trying to get myself to accept this little box.

He only felt that he was abusing himself, that he was testing himself, and that he was limiting himself, which made him wonder: Why should he treat himself like this?

Gao Chuan, of course, remembers what he thought before things became like this, and what factors prompted him to make a decision. He remembered things clearly until Sanxiandao completely took over the prosthetic body. He even remembered that he had already made the consciousness of not waking up. However, his sobriety now made him feel the ignorance of his consciousness at that time. He doesn't feel that he regrets all this, but it is definitely not a feeling of "this is all right".

The feeling today is not good at all. Rather, it is a kind of pain. It is countless times more painful than any previous experience. It is not physical pain, not spiritual pain, but a pain that stems from the depths of self-cognition, it is pain of thought. As long as you are still thinking, you can't stop the pain.

There are some crazy and unreasonable things that are taking away his hope of being a "Gaochuan". He seemed to be able to hear a question from deep in his heart. The things visible in front of him, whether they are understandable or incomprehensible, seem to be fading their surface form, revealing an inevitable mechanism, as if in Tell him the nature of this movement. He also saw many hallucinations, each of which melted into a complex and cold motion that could not be described in words.

"I, I'm melting..." Gao Chuan muttered the prosthetic body. He looked at the image of the prosthetic body in the self-examination. The appearance of the prosthetic body melted like a candle, as if it was foreshadowing something—even if This state of melting and deformation did not make him die.

Yi Gao Chuan could not feel his own death, but his madness, fear, and despair seemed to be strengthened to the point where he could not feel his "death", as if he was going to endure it forever. All the horrible madness is alive. He will live in pain until he gives up the behavior of "imprisoning oneself", until he gives up the narrow self-knowledge of "Gaochuan".

The prosthetic Gao Chuan can clearly feel that everything used to maintain his self-recognition as "Go Chuan" is systematically collapsing, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, but not stopping. When he completely collapsed, he was no longer "Gaochuan", but he was not dead, but just transformed, into another form to continue to complete the movement in that form-when he imagined that scene, even if Unable to imagine, there is also a sense of relief, as if the end I most hope to reach is not to become a super Gaochuan, not to rescue anyone, but to be freed from the responsibility that I have given myself, from "Gaochuan". Transcendence from a narrow and limited cognition.

The body Gao Chuan saw that during the self-examination, his shape was still changing. "Melting" was definitely not the last change. After "melting", a new shape was being formed, which was definitely not a human shape, but It is impossible to describe what kind of shape it is. The outline of the melted part is not clear, as if it is no longer a hard solid substance, but a wonderful phenomenon like thunder and lightning~IndoMTL.com~ But it is definitely not the nature that can be commonly seen in nature. Phenomenon.

He can feel from this faintly deformed outline that after he becomes like that, he can become any kind of image, and even revert back to the image of "Gaochuan", but there is also an image from The voice deep in his heart told him that at that time, no matter how consistent the image and Gao Chuan are, it is definitely not "Gao Chuan" inside, or even "human".

"I will not die. I have neither been born nor disappeared. I will only change from one way to another, from one form to another, from one movement to another. This kind of movement, constantly changing...changes..." the body Gao Chuan murmured.

During this terrible process, Prosthetic Body Gao Chuan thought of countless ways to try to maintain itself as it is. The last straw he finally grasped was also the basis of Gao Chuan's personality mechanism-the responsibility that he imposed on himself.

Regardless of whether the essence of the subject of "Gao Chuan" has this kind of responsibility or not, when "Gao Chuan" is a human being, the center that maintains the personality of each "Kao Chuan" is precisely the promise made by Gao Chuan himself. .

"——I want to be a hero." Yitai Gao Chuan muttered to himself, the blurred eyes reunited, making his somewhat dilated pupils light up, and the facial features that had begun to melt began to gradually renew. Appears on the face. Most of the prosthetic body, as a human form, has melted and deformed, but the last remaining head, before completely melted and deformed, solidified again and continued to exist as "Gaochuan's head".

At this moment, his image is like a gray-black statue with a human head but not able to be shaped by the body. There are no hands or feet, and the torso is indistinguishable. It is full of distortions, weird and disgusting. .