Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 270: Interlude death (4) Happy New Year’s Day

In the first two weeks, I have seen Dr. Ruan explain this topic to patients many times. The effect seems to be like duck filling, but the effect seems to be not very obvious. Move the universe, the holy king, make the sacred king, kill the god, the **** seal, the throne, ask the devil, the world, the nineth heaven, the strongest, abandon the young world The gods and gods seal throne of the gods and gods of the world, the strongest abandonment of the Shao Dazhou imperial clan, the gods will kill the night gods, the **** seal thrones of the gods, the gods of the gods and the imperial world, the strongest abandonment of the Shao Da Zhou imperial clan. [](That calm and wide smile, but I can tell from the details of her breathing and changes in her eyes.

When Dr. Ruan saw me, his voice paused, but there was no stop. I went to the corner and watched with cold eyes, listening to the theories and techniques that were already familiar to me. To be honest, I have never practiced these theories and techniques on Ranwen Novel. Because I have not had a situation where Ranwen Novel has lost control of emotions to the point of self-regulation. However, I think this method is probably effective. The problem is that the patients who listen to the lectures are a little absent-minded and some are overactive, but they are not sure whether they have the patience and determination to follow the necessary rhythms to practice after class.

Most patients will not consciously cooperate, because most of them are mental patients who have lost their ability to regulate themselves.

Yes, lack of self-regulation ability-this is what Dr. Ruan thinks is the biggest similarity between me and other patients

"Smart", "knowledge", "reason" and "self-control"... none of these can prove that I am not a mental patient. Because in the words of Dr. Ruan, the "self" I know is just a fictitious existence, which is proof of the lack of self-awareness and self-regulation ability. As a result, my normal has become the biggest abnormality.

No one on Ranwen Novels believes what I say, no one on Ranwen Novels believes that I have come to this place for the first time, no one on Ranwen Novels believes in the end of the world, and no one on Ranwen Novels believes in the Chosen One And the existence of the three major organizations. The seemingly normal people comforted me with calm and compassionate eyes, and the mentally ill people yelled with dementia or excitement.

I don't know if these people pretend to be ignorant or are really kept in the dark. I just feel that everyone here seems to be wearing a mask, and every inch of shadow hides hideous teeth. This is a huge, specially made bonsai that separates my world from reality, and I am the stupidest white mouse in this bonsai, but only I am alive, and the others are just wrapped in human skin. A doll that regulates program activities. Sometimes when I look at the gray and misty sky, I can't help but have the illusion that there is a giant lying on the table, looking down and admiring everything about the white mouse born in this elaborate bonsai.

My mood is depressed for two-thirds of the time. Even if I tell others about these doubts, distress, and irritability, who would believe what a mental patient said more than a senior doctor? These words will undoubtedly become one of the proofs that I am a mental patient.

Every time I see patients in the lobby listening to the doctors’ teachings attentively, I feel more and more ridiculed. This ridicule will become stronger and stronger with the frequency and time. A burst of laughter that hit the bottom of my heart, made me no longer hear other voices, nor could I feel the presence of other people.

Now I hear this maddening ridicule again. I don’t know what it is or why it appears, but I am not afraid of it. I am silent, but it does not represent my heart. There is no power of Ranwen Novel Network. I am no longer the top student Gao Chuan. Even though my feet are disabled and my body becomes weak, all the horrors, injustices, despair, and pains I have experienced in those days of battle have all turned into a fountain of strength.

This spring water is bitter, heavy, and dead, but it always supports me and prevents me from falling.

From the very first moment, I decided to fight this mockery, even though the result of every battle is always defeat.

Dr. Ruan’s commentary and patient’s questions are gradually disappearing. The hall and the human body are losing their contours. Darkness and silence gradually surround me, and huge mockery resounds like ocean waves. I tried my best to keep myself awake longer. I seemed to be surrounded by an egg-shaped black membrane, and the voice outside the membrane became distorted and faint, like the whispers of an evil spirit. I feel my body is hot, the flowing blood is like magma, and the smell of the air is so familiar, like...

It's like the last deadly battle in the building. []

I looked up, the ceiling had disappeared, and there was only a large swath of the sky.

The sky is burning, and the ashes are like goose feathers and snow, constantly falling from the burning clouds.

In the twilight that continues to crumble, the setting sun will burn out at this moment, the black giant ball hangs in the sky, and the doomsday and **** are perfectly intertwined.

I don't know why, but I feel extremely happy. It is as if this scene is welcoming my return and proving my existence.

Go back, go back, go back, a voice whispered in my ear, to return to that battlefield, that is your world.

Then the sky shattered.

I seemed to have a short dream, and when I woke up I found myself still in a wheelchair and still staying in the lecture hall. The course seems to be over. The patients are filed out. Dr. Ruan is standing in front of me. How long have you been standing there? do not know. She seemed to have said something to me before, but I didn't hear it at all. I just felt her eyes fall on my face, with inquiry and scrutiny.

I'm covered in sweat, I can still chew the residue of joy in my dreams, and I can still recall the whispering sounds in my ears, but the blood flowing in my veins is not hot, but cold.

My chest rises and falls, but the air I inhale seems to lack oxygen, making me feel embarrassed, like an asthmatic.

It's a dream. Is it a dream? Here, in the illusion, in the memory of the past, which one is the dream?

"Are you not feeling well?" Dr. Ruan's voice finally heard clearly.

"No, it's okay, just had a nightmare." I wiped the sweat from my forehead with my sleeve.

"Nightmare?" Doctor Ruan said casually like an old friend: "Would you like to talk about it? Although I am not good at dream analysis, I can talk about it anyway."

"No, no need." I refused. I thought I knew the reason for this dream-the bottle of medicine "Paradise" I drank before "death".

I looked up at Dr. Ruan’s face. She seemed to be indifferent, with her hands in the pockets of her white coat.

"What can I do if you call me here?" I said, "You know, I don't like this place, and I don't like being treated as a mental illness."

"Let’s talk while walking." After that, after Dr. Ruan turned to the wheelchair, he pushed me out of the lobby and walked towards the depths of the building. "I said before, I’m your doctor in charge. Here’s Most patients have only one attending doctor, but for some special patients, two or even three doctors with different expertise will be responsible for their conditions. Although I have done some psychological diagnosis and treatment for you, there is another attending doctor who specializes Responsible for this aspect."

"Go to see him now?" I understood.

"Yes, he is one of the best psychiatrists in this hospital. He has been responsible for your psychological diagnosis and treatment since you first came in. You started a special treatment a long time ago, but the last course of treatment ended. Then you jumped off the building. Although you said you don’t remember what happened at the time, it was a suicide from the report on the scene. This was a huge blow to him. After I passed the report to him, he wanted to know. What kind of change has occurred in you, but it is not until today that you have freed up from the treatment of the patient’s suicide. But you slammed him together. "I can’t see what the expression of Dr. Ruan behind me is. , But some sarcasm can be heard in the tone.

What kind of person this best psychiatrist is and what he looks like, to me, I don't have the slightest impression of Ranwen Novel Network. I am extremely convinced that this is the first time I have come to this place, but from all the people I have seen, including Dr. Ruan, their tone, demeanor and actions can't feel any falsehood at all. This is what makes The place where I am most distressed and upset.

I feel as if I am playing a decryption game, searching, thinking, and connecting until the puzzle is completed.

I hope to find something new from this new psychologist.

Dr. Ruan sent me to the third floor, in the third room on the left hand side of the stairs. The house number was brand new and blank, and there was no related name written on Ranwen Novel.com. There is no one in the hallway. Most departments have their doors closed. From the windows, you can see the desks, beds and some instruments inside, but it seems that people would not be able to open them without the use of Ranwen. Look like. The air is filled with the smell of disinfectant water, and the special sense of tranquility is like an alien world isolated from the world, a corridor leading to a dead country.

The door was just hidden, and a trivial sound leaked from the crack of the door. I knocked three times and pushed the door open.

The furnishings in the room are very simple. The most impressive thing is the bookshelves on both sides of the wall that climb to the ceiling. The bookshelves are full of books, and some of them can’t fit, they are stacked between the top of the book and the shelf. Vacant place. At the end of the front is a desk, with a large number of books and papers stacked on both sides of the desk, and only the owner of the desk can be seen from the space in the middle. It was an old white man who was about 60 years old, with the same coat and a white coat. His thin and short body was a bit crooked. He was wearing reading glasses and crawling on the desk to study something. The desk realized that someone was coming in, but his body did not move. , Only the eyeballs rolled up and looked over from the upper edge of the frame of the reading glasses.

"Ah, you are here." He said, straightening up and beckoning to us eagerly, "Come in, come in."

"Good morning, Dr. Ande." Dr. Ruan said.

"Ah." Dr. Ender paused like an senile dementia before responding: "Okay, okay." Then his eyes fell on my body and examined two or three breaths, "Your spirit is not very Okay, kid. You did something that surprised everyone. I heard that you have amnesia, but it’s okay. Forgetting is not always a bad thing. Come on, let’s talk, just like before."

"Before?"

"Yes, before."

There was a sound of closing doors behind me, and when I looked back, Dr. Ruan had already left.

"So, where do I start..." Dr. Ender took off his reading glasses, took out the glasses cloth from the drawer and wiped it, with a thoughtful expression on his face, "Report on your current condition, I’ve seen it, you don’t think you have amnesia, but you are imprisoned, right?"

"I didn't seem to say the word imprisonment." I stared at the old man, he gave a feeling of "knowing a lot of inside information", maybe this time I can really extract some valuable information from him.

Which organization does this hospital belong to? Which organization is he from? Are you the Chosen One? Is it Mageweave Messenger? My gaze fell on his hand wiping the spectacle lens, and there was nothing there, without any tattoos similar to magic patterns. Or a prophet? But in this state, I can't detect any signs of abnormal people in him.

Doctor Ender seemed to notice my gaze, glanced over the back of his hand, and then showed a thoughtful expression.

"For you, this hospital can only be entered but not exited. It is indeed no different from imprisonment. But it is indeed your own choice. Everyone who comes here has their own story. You don’t want to know why. Will you come to this place?" He put on his reading glasses and said.

"Why?"

"You really can't remember anymore?" Dr. Ender looked at me seriously.

"Is this important?" I paused and said, "I don't think I came in voluntarily, and I don't think there is any benefit in living here."

Doctor Ender gave a deep smile, as if he had been waiting for me to say this.

"It's very important, it's important." His tone was high. "You will have this thought, which means that my treatment has begun to pay off. You are becoming normal in a sense? Normal, know? What is it? Normal? Normal people don’t like to be imprisoned, and will not voluntarily be imprisoned." He paused, took a breath, poured a glass of water and drank, then continued: "Obviously, your current state and your loss It’s about your memory, or... your memory has been replaced.” He stretched out his index finger and gave me a few imaginary clicks, “You have successfully constructed a false memory for yourself. This is the first step in treatment. . Um... Although there was a little problem during the period."

It's a false memory again, and it's this set of things I'm really fed up with, but this old man is right, but it's not all right, I'm normal, not "becoming normal".

"Can false memories completely replace real memories?" I said solemnly: "This is impossible. As a psychologist, Dr. Ender, you should know this."

"Yes, you are right. Oh, you are a smart little guy. Generally speaking, a person’s memory cannot be replaced completely, but a completely different self is constructed based on memory fragments and deep psychology. The world, this is the value of this set of treatment methods. Boy, have you tried video editing? Cut out the scene fragments, mix with other materials, and re-edit them into a completely different plot from the original film-we have successfully constructed a false memory , The evidence of this achievement, aren’t you sitting right in front of me?” Dr. Ande’s face showed a feverish look, “Doctor Ruan said that your condition has deteriorated, but in my opinion, it’s just the opposite. This is just the treatment process. The first step, but this is why she hates me."

Such an answer is not convincing to me at all.

"If this is the case, then the relevant memory fragments used can at least make me feel familiar." I replied, "But I don't have Ranwen Novel Network at all"

"No, no, you have it, but you haven't noticed it yet. Hehe, I just used a little trick." Dr. Ender leaned back on the back of the chair and took a long breath. He said, "The first step is finally completed, my theory is correct..."

His demeanor is so normal that he hasn't exaggerated, faked and concealed it, as if he had done an incredible thing. This makes me feel irritable. It’s not that his tone, expression, and actions all suggest that I have become a medical mouse. What’s important is that this kind of suggestion is trying to make me feel "I’m a mental patient under isolation and treatment." "It is true.

In order to get rid of this emotion, I kept telling myself from the bottom of my heart that it was the first time I came to this ghostly place isolated from the world. Everything the people here did was just to confuse me, imprison me, and don't have any plots. They deprived me of my magic lines in a way I didn't know, and they tried to turn me into a disabled waste, a mentally ill residue.

What's more, everything born here is just a dream of mine.

Realistic dreams.

An illusion constructed by deep consciousness.

The side effects of taking the medicine "Paradise".

The scene of dying after being penetrated by those "True Rivers".

Maybe the real me is about to take my last breath~IndoMTL.com~ But such a short time is enough to make people spend a long life in a dream. I tried desperately to think like this-the last dream turned out to be such a nightmare, it really makes people unable to look down upon death

Nevertheless, I still can't get rid of the realism that this world, the old man in front of me, brings to me. I think there are two diametrically opposed emotions, cognitions, thoughts, or other things that are roaring noisily, making my head seem to be stuffed into a microwave oven, and it will explode at any time. Dr. Ender said a lot in front of me, but I haven't heard the sound for a long time, like a sudden deafness, only seeing his lips closed together. He ignored my silence, but he seemed to be talking to himself with excitement on his face.

"...Of course, for the second step of treatment, the imaginary place in the memory must be exchanged with the real place. Before that, in order to prevent you from repelling the real memory, I prepared something for this. Dr. Ender muttered to himself the word "Ender's game", bent down, rummaged in the drawer, and took out a kit after a while.

He poured all the contents on the desk—a few forms, a diary, some photos. . ..

Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Intermission Death Happy New Year's Day Text