Restricted Doomsday Syndrome Chapter 281: Interlude death (15)

"The diseases of Zhenjiang, Shise and Dorothy are new types that have never been seen before. This is one of the reasons why Shise and Dorothy are responsible for others." Dr. Ruan said. .

"Are they quarantined?" I said.

"Yes." Dr. Ruan didn't hide it anymore.

"You said, they are terminally ill, that is, they are dead? I was deceived by Xilu when I was discharged from the hospital?" I stared at her and said.

"No, there is a record of Shise's discharge from the hospital. You don't need to deceive you... Maybe they have cured them." At this point, Dr. Ruan noticed the inconsistency of his words, so he changed his words. : "Maybe the color and Dorothy's situation is different...I don't know the specifics."

It sounds like these are all her own guesses. She acted like an innocent person. Maybe, she really didn't know the situation of other people besides me?

I dare not draw conclusions. However, this conversation is not without gains from Ranwen Novel.com. Mae had a terminal illness and was later killed by Gao Chuan. Shise and Dorothy also had the same terminal illness, and their whereabouts are now unknown. This terminal illness is a new disease that has never been seen before. So, what should I think about connecting these pieces of information together? Yes, I think every ordinary person will come to the same conclusion as me, and I think they are treated as precious experimental subjects.

This is not an interesting conclusion. I don't even believe that Shise was really discharged from the hospital. At least, I believe what Dallas said, Huise was imprisoned in that tower and lived a life of dire straits. I can't imagine what kind of tragic situation she will encounter, whether life is worse than death?

There used to be a child of "Gaochuan" who tried to rescue her, but he failed and disappeared. Now the person named Gaochuan is me. Perhaps, I came to this world, which I don’t know if it is illusion or reality, just to accomplish this legacy mission? If I fulfill this last wish, will I be able to return to the doomsday world that is more real to me?

I don’t know the answers to these questions.

However, I feel that I must do that, whether it is a dream or a trap. Even as Dr. Ruan said, those bad suspicions are illusions, and the hospital is really treating them with heart, and the girls must confirm this by themselves. Because that girl's name is "Sei Se", besides her, there are "Doroth", "Sakuya", "Eight Views" and "Marceau". Gao Chuan has always been their hero.

I feel a change in my body, as if responding to my will.

Just when I felt that the conversation ended here, I don’t know if Dr. Ruan did it on purpose. She told me something that really surprised me.

"One more thing, I think I should tell you, because you saw a crow." She said, "What do you think this crow is? Your pet? Friend?" She seemed to smile, the smile flashed. Too fast, it seems like an illusion, "The crow is a smart animal, a scavenger, a bird that eats corpses, it is synonymous with death, fear, and bad luck, and an omen. Do you think seeing a crow is lucky? "

I didn’t speak from Ranwen.com, she looked at me for a long time and said softly:

"You killed Mae and then you ate her."

My head went blank for an instant, as if I had some auditory hallucinations. What did she just say?

"I ate Mae?" A ridiculous but heart-wrenching emotion that could not be described hit my mind, "You say, eat?"

"Yes, the doctor's expression became more and more relaxed, as if she found something good on my face. She wrote the word "eat" on the paper, "a kind of eating activity. "

"Aren’t you kidding me?" I don’t want to be bluffed by her, although I have read some of the files of "Gao Chuan" from Dr. Ander-Gao Chuan, 17 years old, arsonist, murderer, cannibal People, voluntary experimenters who have lost all civil rights. However, I have never taken the term cannibal into my heart, thinking that it might be a symbolic meaning.

But now, the female doctor said grandiosely in front of me, that "Gao Chuan" ate "Mae"?

It's unbelievable and unacceptable. Anyone with normal mentality and morality will not do such a thing. It is not unusual for animals to eat their own carcasses. However, since the evolution of human beings, this instinct has been abandoned as a sin, and cannibalism has not been recognized for its legitimacy either psychologically or physically.

If you want to ask why, you can only say that this is the proof that humans are humans.

I always think of myself as a human being, and I don’t think it’s mentally ill, so I also think cannibalism is an unacceptable behavior. Of course, I know in my heart that the man-eater mentioned by Dr. Ruan is the boy named "Gao Chuan". But when I thought of replacing the "Gao Chuan", in the eyes of this female doctor, I was not me, but the man-eating psychopath "Kao Chuan", and I couldn't help feeling uncomfortable.

Dr. Ruan’s eyes were so naked, I understood in an instant that it was a kind of hunters looking at prey, collectors looking at treasures, and ambitious doctors looking at the possessiveness of precious patients. My body started to get hot, the joints all over my body seemed uncomfortable as rusty, and my stomach was full of acid water, like indigestion. This made the sentence echo in my ears: You have eaten Zhenjiang, you are a cannibal. .

I understand, I understand, I try to separate myself from that "Gaochuan". However, the ghost of a boy named "Gaochuan" seemed to stretch out countless tentacles to pull me into the deep darkness.

"Why would he do this?" I said difficultly.

"I don't know, you should ask yourself this question." Dr. Ruan said briskly: "Maybe for no other reason, this is a secret for everyone, no one knows what the person involved thinks. Of course, as a psychological Doctors, you can make some explanations from an academic point of view, but that is not the key."

"Then what is the key?"

"The key is whether you want to change back to Gaochuan again." Dr. Ruan's expression relaxed, "However, I don't think you want to, because you just said'why did he do this', you used ' He', not'I'. At this point, I have to admit that Dr. Ender's treatment has indeed had a good effect."

"In other words, you said this to me to confirm this?" I began to understand why Dr. Ruan's attitude changed.

"To a large extent. This is the case. I took a little risk. After all, you saw the crow, which is very disturbing." Dr. Ruan rolled the pen between her fingers, and she stared at me and said: It is a very common thing. I want to confirm your true state, and I am afraid that this temptation will detonate hidden dangers."

"I can understand." I laughed mockingly.

"Hey, kid, don't be so upset." Doctor Ruan leaned forward and said to me seriously: "I am your doctor in charge, I must be responsible for you, and now the results are very good, right? I hope you can keep it going. Soon, you will be able to return to the world of normal people, and I will get the best of both worlds because of this treatment case and thesis. Isn’t it? The best of both worlds."

"So, I want to know, in your understanding, what is the crow I saw?" I asked.

My emotions were a bit confused before, but now it has been rearranged. Although, I am still convinced that the crow quark is not my illusion, it really saved my life in Yelin, and I am not the boy with the same name in her mouth. But I still want to know what the woman in front of me thinks. This has nothing to do with my future actions, just because it is a need for self-definition.

After all, the boy named "Gaochuan", maybe like me, can see a certain "crow" that belongs to him.

Now, he and I are getting more and more similar, with the same name and similar qualities. Recognizing the difference between the meanings of "crow" to each other helps me continue to maintain my will.

"Well, I think that when it comes to this, I really should make it clear to you. After all, you are now nominally responsible for me, not the dead old man." Dr. Ruan smiled and said, "I said before. The crow is a clever animal, a scavenger, a bird that eats corpses, it is synonymous with death, fear and doom, and an omen. The Gaochuan in the past..." She used the word "past" and the third person "At the time of the matter, no, he had already had a mental breakdown earlier. In fact, in the second year he entered the orphanage, he was found to have psychological problems. The rest of the time was also from this hospital. Responsible for intermittent treatment. At that time, no one knew that the situation would deteriorate to that point, so he only regarded Gao Chuan as a child suffering from a mild mental illness. You must know that orphans of that age will have a little bit..." Dr. Ruan Spreading my hands, I understand what she meant. It is quite normal for orphans to be psychologically traumatized.

"Okay, now that you understand, let's go back to the crow." Dr. Ruan wrote down the characteristics and meaning of the crow on the paper. "For a child, no, for most normal people. Said that killing is a terrible thing. It represents sin and death. Can you understand this explanation?"

I nodded, so she continued: "Killing someone will feel fear and death. And the victim is a good friend of her, maybe a girlfriend, and the emotion of fear and death will never end. Enlarge the ground. No matter what the reason, killing the one you love is a kind of bad luck for the murderer, even for most mentally ill murderers, they will also feel the martial arts and the holy king made the sacred The king will kill the gods at night, the seal of the throne, and the king will kill the gods, the strongest in the world Ao Shi Jiu Zhong Tian is the strongest abandoning Shao Da Zhou's imperial clan to create a **** and will kill the night god, God seals the throne to ask the devil. In other words, this is a sinful behavior that cannot be forgiven but has become an established fact."

"The crow is the illusion created by this fact. The crow eats carrion and corpses, representing death, fear, and bad luck. This is completely in line with your mental state at the time. Maybe you think of yourself as a crow, or think The perpetrator of those crimes is actually a crow. So, this crow represents your side as a murderer and cannibal." Dr. Ruan paused and continued: "In addition, I have a guess, of course. , It’s just a guess. Maybe you didn’t have the reason why you were infected with a terminal illness because you ate Mae’s body."

This is a very heavy topic, even if she is talking about another person. However, as long as I think about it, such a small child should do such a terrible thing, whether it is active or forced, it is really terrible. I am always afraid to hear such painful facts, even if it was born to a stranger who has nothing to do with me, but now, it is the past of the child with the same name as me and replaced by me, which makes my heart seem to be about to It's normal, and I feel like I'm going to breathe.

"Are you okay?" Dr. Ruan examined me a few times, took out a bottle of pills from the cabinet and placed it in front of me, "Sedatives, if you feel uncomfortable, just take two pills and you will be fine."

I looked at each other for a while, and finally followed her advice, took out two pills and swallowed them. After a while, the effect of the medicine worked, and my mood gradually calmed down.

"Maybe it’s a little rash to tell you these things. But I want you to remember that seeing crows is not a good thing, but you don’t have to be too scared. Whether or not you remember the past, you must Remember, the current you are different from the past." Doctor Ruan looked at me earnestly and said.

"I understand, I never think of myself as a cannibalistic mental illness, I just..." I waved my hand, "I'm not used to hearing such dark and cruel stories."

"Really? You are such a kind little fellow. It's a pity, maybe Dr. Ender is right. You are in a much better condition now than before." Dr. Ruan shook his head and smiled.

"Thank you for telling me these things. I won't tell Dr. Ender." I said.

"No, I will write these in the report and forward it to him." Doctor Ruan refused: "He is an expert, but I am also an expert, and you are now my patient, not his, at least now. I have the right to treat according to my own ideas."

"Anyway, thank you." I didn't intend to talk about this topic anymore, so I asked instead: "Doctor Ruan, do you know hypnotherapy?"

Doctor Ruan paused for a while and looked over in confusion: "Hypnotherapy...hyrpy? Of course, what do you ask for?"

"I said that I had some dreams recently, and those dreams seem to be about my past...I want to know what happened in the past. I heard that hypnotherapy can bring back memories." Half of my words are true, and I really want to know the successor of the interrupted dream. Although I don’t think I am the boy with the same name, I have experienced many wonderful events. Therefore, this dream does not belong to me, but it may be real. Knowing the way into my brain.

If this is not destiny or a sign of mission, then what is it?

Doctor Ruan shook his head with a smile.

"Hypnotherapy is a kind of psychotherapy that uses hypnosis to narrow the range of consciousness of the seeker and uses suggestive language to eliminate pathological psychological and physical disorders. But because of this, there will be Side effects, let people think that the conclusions drawn after being hypnotized are true, and even self-fake the truth because of other people's or self-suggestion. Although many psychologists praise it, I personally do not agree with it as a routine This kind of treatment is really not suitable for a mental patient."

"I want to try." I stubbornly stared at her, "I think it is a necessary process to know one's past. It is incomplete if there is no past, or a false past. Especially for a mental patient, this is also a very important thing. I think no matter how to hide the truth, if you can't face it, it is still a hidden danger."

Actually, this is just an excuse. Do you really think so? I don't know it myself. After all, I am not a real mental patient, nor an experienced psychologist. I just want Dr. Ruan to agree to give me psychotherapy to fill up the fragmented dream.

However, Dr. Ruan was surprised by what I said, and immediately became excited, as if he had found a close friend.

"Really? Do you think so? I think so too. Is it really normal to make up a past that makes people normal? Or does it look normal but bury the bomb deeper? This is the biggest difference between me and Dr. Ande." Dr. Ruan clapped his hands happily, "That's why I will tell you these things. I hope to save your energy from the treatment of the dead old man. The pressure is slightly released."

"I don't want to escape. If that is my past, I think I can accept it. I want to know why I killed Mae."

Doctor Ruan stared at me for a long while, but I did not retreat.

"Well~IndoMTL.com~If you insist on this." She said, "I hope I am not doing stupid things."

"No, you are doing good, doctor." I answered her.

Doctor Ruan's hypnosis method is very casual, even the position does not need to be changed, sitting across the desk. She took the pen in her hand and told me to relax. The preparations for hypnosis were similar to those in the books and movies.

"You won't take the opportunity to ask me personal questions, will you?" I interrupted at this moment: "If you encounter a question that I don't want to answer..."

"You can not answer." Dr. Ruan said indifferently: "Although I agree to hypnotherapy, I will not perform deep hypnosis, otherwise there will be big problems. You imagine there is a line in your heart, this line is you The dividing line between the questions that can be answered and the questions that cannot be answered does not need to be well thought out. As long as you imagine this line well, it will work on its own. The human brain is very wonderful."

Although I am dubious about what she said, I don't have a very good method for Ranwen.com, and it is also my own proposal for hypnotherapy.

When I entered the state she said, the pen in her hand began to sway in front of my eyes. . ..