Return To 1977 Chapter 754: Believe
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As mentioned before, if we follow the ancient saying of our ancestors that "men should marry when they are young and girls should marry when they are young", people born in the 1950s have already entered this ranks.
So with the arrival of the peak of educated youth returning to the city, a nationwide peak of marriage registration soon appeared.
According to data, taking Beijing as an example, the number of registered marriage couples in the city in 1981 was 198,858, compared with 69,679 couples in 1977, an increase of 1.5 times.
In 1982, it was 134,934 pairs.
Although this number has declined, it is still nearly twice that of 1977, which is equivalent to an average of nearly 200 couples forming small families for every 10,000 people.
It can be seen from this that during this period, older men and women are scrambling to "leave singles".
I can’t help but sigh, that was really the golden age of cooks and carpenters.
But behind this excitement, there is also haste and compromise.
In view of the serious lack of understanding of the opposite **** between marriageable men and women at that time, many of them were over or approaching thirty years old.
Moreover, in the ideology of ordinary people, marriage is still regarded as a need of social tradition, and the consciousness of "carrying on the family line" is absolutely mainstream.
So from a practical point of view, even if it calls for freedom of love, the new era of arranged marriage has long since disappeared.
But in reality, romance still plays a small role in the marriage.
There are not many disguised arrangements based on the opinions of parents and elders.
This is called no choice. We have neither time nor experience. How can we talk about being in love with each other?
As long as the person looks decent, doesn't feel like a bad person, and doesn't feel offended after being in contact with him for a while, that's fine.
The most important thing is left to the parents to judge.
The old man has a lot to do.
You need to find out whether the other unit is for the whole people or a collective? What position? What type of work? What housing? Do you have any serious illness? Are there any elderly people to support at home? Do you smoke or not? Drink or not? Did you go to junior high school or high school? Mild-tempered or hot-tempered? It even includes whether the walking posture is splayed and whether the legs are generally long.
To put it bluntly, what they care about is whether they can "live with others".
As a result, after decades of silent companionship and a family full of children and grandchildren, people of this generation will often give the answer of "get married first, then fall in love, and develop feelings through mutual affection" when asked by their children about their relationship history. .
Of course, as long as we can grow old together and reach the same destination through different paths, it is another kind of happiness.
But it must be said that for the two parties involved, when they took this step when they were young.
In fact, I don’t have much confidence in my heart, and I tend to have some regrets and disappointments, as well as doubts about myself and the future.
It can be said that they passively or actively chose to compromise with the objective status quo due to pressure from the social environment and family.
So, Shui Qing is tired at this stage, and one of the other worries comes from this aspect, that is, the great pressure her family and surrounding environment put on her personal marriage.
In fact, whether you can find a partner is not a matter of life or death, and is purely a private matter.
As for Shui Qing, it’s not that I don’t want to look for him.
It's just that she is a casual person and feels that she is too busy with work at this stage and it is the right time to have children.
There's no need to be harsh, I just want to wait and think about it again.
But it just doesn’t work in this era. Parents at home need to urge, the "well-wishers" around them need to help, and even work and the street need to interfere.
These people are all very enthusiastic about introducing partners to single men and women, as enthusiastic as if they have tasks assigned to them by their superiors and cannot be handed over until they are completed.
On the other hand, if you don't look for it, it means that you are mentally disturbed and have ideological problems. Such alternative elements are not allowed in society.
In this way, Shui Qing had to follow the crowd and could only squeeze out time and energy to try to find her other half.
But the problem is that the people who introduce Shui Qing to someone are always trying to strike a balance.
They have their own set of theories, such as fish looking for fish, shrimp looking for shrimp, phoenix nesting in the sycamore tree, and grass chicken entering the shack.
The scale created based on this theory includes age, appearance, family, personality, occupation, income, knowledge, and hobbies, and measures them carefully.
If one side is make do, the other side must be make do, and the overall portion should always be equal.
For example, a girl has a few pockmarks on her face. I'm afraid her partner must be a little short-sighted.
Because pockmarks and myopia not only offset each other, but also myopia can easily ignore the pockmarks, so the success rate is naturally very high.
It's a pity that although this algorithm is clever, it can also be called precise. But only emotions and sentiments will not be counted.
Then this scale is certainly not accurate for Shui Qing.
The people who were introduced to her by those people were all indifferent from the beginning, and almost all of them looked like uncles who didn't want to be close to them or grandma who didn't love them.
Those who are a bit decent either have poor jobs or poor family backgrounds, or are old-fashioned widowers.
Of course, even if this is the case, Shui Qing is not unacceptable.
Because she understands that a person's beauty and ugliness cannot be judged solely on the surface. Even if the other party is a temporary worker or has children.
Comparing hearts, as long as the other person is willing to take good care of Shui Xiaoying with her, and the two have similar interests and understand each other, for her, the marriage will still be happy.
But the key is that it takes time to see the soul. She is not in a hurry, but others are. People are not in a hurry, but others are in a hurry.
And marriage is about a lifetime of happiness, and it must not be careless? Even if you are not in a hurry, you may not really get what you want.
So I finally met two people who were passable, and I quickly blew out the lamp and pulled out the wax.
For example, Sister Wei from the labor union introduced a deputy director of the planning department of the "First Machinery Factory". Although he was widowed, he was only thirty years old, had no children of his own, and liked ancient poetry and calligraphy.
Originally they got along well with each other, and Shui Qing appreciated the deputy director's insight.
But when they got acquainted and discussed their plans for married life, the other party's utilitarianism and philistinism were exposed.
In order to continue to be promoted, the deputy director actually asked her to learn to communicate, learn to give gifts, and learn how to please the leaders' families in the future.
Shuiqing could not imagine this dark side, so he broke up decisively.
Another one is a serial officer in the army. His "problem" is that he often travels for research at work, and he has to stay away from home for a long time after getting married. He spends less time together and more time away from home.
But he has been educated in the army for many years, has a future, is educated, has a decent appearance and a decent style.
Moreover, he sympathized with Shui Xiaoying and admired Shui Qing's behavior. After meeting her a few times, he sincerely made bold statements to help Shui Qing take good care of Shui Xiaoying.
Originally, the two of them had a good conversation and there should be hope of getting together.
However, this officer was originally from a rural area. He wrote a letter to his hometown to explain the matter, but was firmly opposed by his parents and relatives with feudal and conservative ideas.
They also know that Shui Qing is respectable, but whether Shui Qing brings a child to the house is nice or not, they are afraid of burying someone under the tongue.
In the end, I had no choice but to give up on this matter.
People are probably like this. They can talk about it and think about it, but it is difficult to persist in doing it.
After experiencing these two things, Shui Qing became increasingly exhausted.
However, she soon figured this out on her own. She decided to reduce the burden on herself and never look at anyone again.
Because she finally knew that the most talked about thing about her behind her back was "She has an indescribable drag, she is not young, it would be great if someone wanted her? Why are you still picking things up here and there?" ?"
So even if she did the right thing, in the minds of most people, she is almost as worthless as a broken egg.
Unfortunately, if even the matchmaker sees it this way, then naturally he will not introduce a good match to her.
But fortunately, she doesn't want to regret and is quite optimistic. Anyway, this is it, so let's keep moving forward.
A good marriage will definitely not appear all at once, so she decided to wait patiently until she found a man who was not only beautiful in mind and appearance, but also had a true friendship with her.
She believes that she can find it, she believes in fate, and in this world, there is always someone who understands her, waiting for her silently, looking for her.