The Tutorial Is Too Hard Chapter 231:
[Lee Hyung-jin]
As I lay on the bed, I repeatedly threw the monster ball up and down . He was dazed, frustrated and unenergetic .
A strong sense of exhaustion and fatigue was eroding my whole body .
It’s been like this ever since I went to the competition stage .
Is it because of the feeling of helplessness?
I don’t think I can do anything, or should even do anything .
It wasn’t like this when I took part in the stage separately with Ho-jae .
Rather, I was motivated after the struggle .
It was after I suffered so much that I became so motivated, but I also decided to survive by myself, thinking about my future plans .
Until the gods became involved in the competition stage .
After that, I had to run as far away as possible, and that too, all day long .
I can’t even remember the exact situation at that time, I just knew I had to run .
I did everything that I could to escape the endless explosions and the heat burning the planet’s land .
Nevertheless, I almost died several times .
Indeed, if I had responded a little late, it was clear that not only the party I was with, but I would also have died in the explosion .
And at the last moment, when I was burrowed deeply on the other side of the planet, I felt a strong vibration under the ground .
If the gods hadn’t sent the party out in time, could they have survived?
That couldn’t be .
That’s how I judged it back then .
The moment the tremor reaches where I was, it’ll kill me .
So I took out the monster ball, which had saved the female challenger named Lee Jin .
I knew if I stayed out there, I couldn’t protect myself, but if I’m in a monster ball, maybe I can live .
Monster Ball’s admission quota was one .
At that time, I wasn’t worried about Lee Jin .
I was wondering whether I should kill the other members or just go in .
After I went into the monster ball, they could have taken me out .
After the explosion, if they still survived, they would have blamed my actions .
Then, I thought it would be the right decision to kill neatly and go in .
When I came back to the hotel after all the fuss, I had a lot of thoughts .
I felt strange .
Of course I knew I was different .
I was trapped in this crazy **** . I couldn’t help but change .
But I couldn’t believe I thought of killing others so easily .
And if the situation didn’t end there, I’m sure I would have executed my thought .
Even if I went behind and regretted it, that moment would still have taken lives .
I felt that I was acting strange .
As if I wasn’t being myself .
I felt a sense of skepticism and futility .
Why am I struggling to survive like this?
Is it right to live by hurting others?
I never thought about it on the tutorial stage .
No one has ever appeared on the stage to the 12th floor where I am .
It was really dangerous, but at least I didn’t have to kill the monster and feel guilty .
I would gladly kill them and then rejoice in the pleasure of my survival .
But is it okay for me to try to kill a person, treating them like monsters?
Even if I was in danger of dying .
The most painful thing was, if I were to be in the same situation again, I would try to kill another person .
Without thinking, it was clear that I would make decisions faster than anyone else .
It wasn’t just skepticism about myself that was bothering me .
I am not confident of going through the stages of Hell’s Difficulty .
It was scary .
The fear I felt on the run seemed to be the same on the stage .
It was not a question of whether I could clear the upper stages, but a fear that I would die if I went in .
[Lee Ho-jae, 49th floor: Sorry . ]
The message came at dawn .
We had quite a long conversation .
There was no feeling of resentment or disappointment .
I didn’t hate him or feel bad about him .
I was too scared to bear such a trivial feeling .
I just repeated that it was okay like a broken robot .
“It can’t be alright…”
I breathe in deeply .
As if I had swallowed a hot lump of iron, my chest felt hot and stuffy, then suddenly becoming cold .
I grab the monster ball, which had been repeatedly thrown and caught .
Monster Ball did its part that day .
In fact, it was the first time I had ever used this monster ball .
The monster ball wasn’t bought in the store window, it was obtained after I cleared a stage, as an additional reward .
At first, I sneered, saying what kind of trash item they had given me .
This monster ball was seemingly useless to me, who was attacking the stage alone .
Just because you have a monster ball, doesn’t mean it’ll clear the stage for you .
Rather, things will only become more dangerous while staying inside the monster ball .
But that day, Monster Ball proved its usefulness admirably .
When I was about to pass out, I had taken the help of the monster ball and thus, am still alive .
Without it, I would have died on the competition stage .
Maybe I can use this again .
The most problematic floor in Hell’s Difficulty is the 17th floor .
If I put myself in this monster ball and give it to Hojae .
If I could skip the 17th floor and move upstairs just like that .
Wouldn’t my chances of survival be much higher?
The question is whether this is possible .
Damn it . I have to ask Kirikiri about this .
I wish I had come up with this idea earlier .
Anyway, I’ll take this and ask Hyung .
I was supposed to meet Hyung with the vice president of the Order of Vigilance this afternoon .
Feeling a little optimistic, my complexion turned better . .
As I was leaving, I remembered the **** who gave me this monster ball as a gift .
I once resented them for giving me useless items, but now I’m really grateful .
The God of Hope .
The God of Hope really smiled at me .